Friday 13 September 2013

Now I'm Torn...

...do I stay in London to practice taking off my sunglasses in dramatic fashion, or do I head north to fulfil my dream of joining the line up of Hugh, Pugh, Barny McGrew, Cuthbert, Dibble and Grub?
With a strike looking likely over pension reform Ian Hayton, chief fire officer at Cleveland Fire Brigade, was left with a serious problem. About 95 per cent of firemen and women in Cleveland are members of the union, higher than other areas. And Cleveland is also in a worse position than North Yorkshire and Durham where most auxiliaries and middle managers are expected to answer the call if a strike is announced.
A radical plan was needed. For the first time in its history the brigade issued an appeal to the public, to people who have never sat in a fire engine in their lives, to come forward.
Woohoo!
Mr Lancaster explained that all 160 were put through some serious tests, before they were even considered for training.
First they all had to do a series of 20 metre runs against the clock and then run with dumb bells. They were also put in rooms filled with cosmetic smoke, tested on ladder climbs and towers to see how they could handle heights and observed dealing with breathing apparatus.
Oh. Maybe not! I hate heights, and I work with a bunch of dumb bells, so running with them doesn't appeal...

8 comments:

Demetrius said...

So, to win your point you play the Trumpton Card? Does this get the worst joke of the month award?

Pavlov's Cat said...

I'm shocked that they would use such language. surely they are 'Special needs' bells.

I'm off to find a differently abled person to tell them to be outraged

johnd2008 said...

Thing that surprised me is that the union rep interviewed raised no objection to the people being trained.

Ancient + Tattered Airman said...

Ah, bring back Trumpton. It was my absolute favourite TV show. No violence or bad language - in fact nothing offensive at all. I'm sure it would be much more calming for todays youngsters who seem to be on a televisual diet of loud and frenetic rubbish.

selsey.steve said...

When he was the President of the United states, Ronald Reagan had to deal with a threatened nation-wide strike by the air traffic controllers. What did he do?
He FIRED the lot of them, closing US air space for a day.
He then re-employed those who forswore strike action. So now there's no problem.
Could 'Lessons be learned'?

Furor Teutonicus said...

XX They were also put in rooms filled with cosmetic smoke, XX

They were called "PUBS", in my day.

Ian Hills said...

I trust the training includes the most important fire-fighting skills of all - celebrating diversity, and dealing with outbreaks of homophobia, sexism and racism whilst up a ladder.

JuliaM said...

"I'm off to find a differently abled person to tell them to be outraged"

:D

"Could 'Lessons be learned'?"

They could, but the lesson seems to be 'They never are...'

"I trust the training includes the most important fire-fighting skills of all - celebrating diversity, and dealing with outbreaks of homophobia, sexism and racism whilst up a ladder."

Good point!