A Bromley mother-of-two has been forced to live with...Oooh, anticipation builds!
...a mass of rotting pears at the end of her driveway for over a decade.Wait, what..?
Sally Bateman, of Bourne Road, has pleaded with Bromley Council for years to cut back an overgrown tree, which leaves decaying pears outside her house.
The 40-year-old, who has lived at the property for 19 years, said the fruit also lands on her car, attracts wasps and stinks of cider.That's it? Seriously?
Can't she just....sweep them up? Like I do with the berries that fall off our front-garden rowan?
Ms Bateman said: “With all the hot weather we have had recently, I have been left with a steaming pile of apples outside my house. It absolutely reeks.
“My neighbour and I are both sick of it. They cause a complete mess and even get trodden into our houses.
“We have to live here and put up with this stench.”Wait, is it apples or pears?
The HR administrator said the council does send street cleaners to sort out the mess but it is only a matter of weeks before the fruit is littered all over the driveway again.Well, yes. That's nature, love.
Ms Bateman, who recently had a hip operation, fears she will slip on the sodden fruit and hurt herself.Aha! I see a compo claim in Bromley Council's future!
They are -surprisingly - not immediately rushing to resolve this awful situation for their ratepayer:
A Bromley Council spokesman said a crown reduction is already planned for the pear tree, which means less fruit will grow in future.
He said: “Whilst it is not our current practice to plant this type of tree in this type of location, we all enjoy the presence of trees in our streets which add to the character of the street scene throughout the year.
“The minor inconvenience around autumn in particular, when the leaves or fruit fall, is inevitably part of the seasonal pattern.
“We have already cleared the fruit away once but will do so again this week when the next scheduled clean is due.”Which makes me think they value the beautiful tree more than the lazy, whinging ratepayer. And I can't help but think they're right.