My sons (one is almost 6, starting kindergarten in the fall; the youngest turned 3 in February) just started going to a day care center for two days a week (Monday and Friday).My boys seem to like the center so far. The only hiccup has been “the brown guy” that is in their classroom (their words for him … I’ll call him “T”). Let me state that we live in a predominantly white area, and this is my boys’ first exposure to anyone looking different than them.As we see, it isn't how this child looks that is the real problem.
I’m treading very carefully here and trying not to sound like a pretentious, entitled white lady. I’m working through some guilty feelings on both fronts there, but I know I am no better than anyone and I’m trying to teach my boys the same thing.Really? Hmmm. My mother taught me and my brother that to be born an Englishman or woman is to win first prize in the lottery of life...
But back to why this self-hating milksop's children have problems with their classmate:
Both of my sons have complained that T has hit them and generally makes a lot of noise in class. I mentioned this to an employee in their classroom (not the teacher herself, who was tied up at the moment), who told me that T has “boundary issues”...Which is teacher-speak for 'is an arrogant undisciplined little thug, but I don't want to be called racist'.
Is there anything else I should be doing here? I don’t love the hitting part, and I would be just as upset if it were any other kid in the room doing it. However, I feel concerned that it’s T that my sons have zeroed in on because he is the only “brown guy” in the room.He appears to be the only disruptive and violent influence. I think you'll find that's why he's singled out. As indeed he should be. But you carry on with your self-doubt.
And the solution offered is....well....
...as a “brown girl”—of the Black variety, to be exact—I am keenly aware that there are some significant differences in how you and I may communicate, and in how our respective children may communicate, and (you see where I’m going here) in how T may communicate in comparison to your sons or other children in the classroom.Anyone who 'communicates' with their fists shouldn't be in a classroom with other children. If Little Miss HandWringer doesn't see that, the adults in charge should.
I wonder what his alleged boundary issues might be, as behaviors that may be identified as disruptive, mischievous, or inappropriate in “brown” children are sometimes labeled as free-spirited, easily excited, or tenacious when exhibited by white ones. The pathway to prison often begins for rambunctious Black and Latinx children at this very stage of their lives. Teachers often carry the same preconceived notions about people based on race that we see on tragic display with each viral video of a violent police encounter...Ah, yes. The chimpout phenomenon, I believe it's referred to.
So, DWtBaS, if this situation weren’t bothersome enough … now you have to think about this child’s future being threatened if he gets suspended from school and how his family might be impacted if they were to lose their child care.Do you think this chippy little Millennial would try that tack with anyone else? No. Because they'd rightly tell her to shove it.
But even before we get that far, Little Miss Handwringer's missive is one big 'Please, excoriate me!' virtuesignal.
I pity those boys.