Friday, 13 November 2015

I Don’t Think The Job Of ‘GMP Spokesman’ Is Filled By The Best & The Brightest, Somehow…

Greater Manchester:
A Greater Manchester Police spokesman said: “A man was walking his dog near Mutual Mills. Another dog ran over to them and the man then picked up his dog.
“The other dog then bit him in the leg and another person approached. The victim then called the police.
*yawns* Sorry, think I fell asleep there…

Eastbourne:
PC Tom Thorpe said: "This was a nasty attack that left the victim, and his dog, both with nasty cuts. The woman is described as white, slim and wearing a jacket and fitted trousers. Her dog was described as a white staffie type dog with brown patches.
"We are keen to trace this woman and her dog as we need to speak to them about what happened. Anyone with information is asked to contact on 101@sussex.pnn.police.uk quoting serial 817 of 07/10."
Now, that’s more like it!

2 comments:

Andrew Scarborough said...

That first account read like an essay written by a six year old child. English is fast becoming one of the 'hard' subjects like the sciences and mathematics, it's frequently being downgraded by both students and schools. Great fun can be had by taking people literally when they mangle their English. Any question asked as: "do you not ..." should be answered with "yes", as in "yes, I do not ...". That really confuses the poor things.

JuliaM said...

"That first account read like an essay written by a six year old child."

I wonder about the spelling...!