Thursday, 27 November 2008

‘Excellence In Community Policing’…?

…is the motto on the website of the Northern Constabulary, who also boast that they ‘promote a style of community policing which is in harmony with the hospitable reputation of the people of the Highlands and Islands’. Hmm, really?
Police raided a 79-year-old widow's Highland cottage after mistaking her tomato plants for a cannabis factory, it was reported.

The officers burst in with sniffer dogs and took samples of the plants for analysis.
Yes, you read that right – they took samples of tomato plants for scientific analysis

Presumably in case Mrs Matheson (in addition to being a high-powered dope dealer in the throbbing metropolis of Shieldaig) is also a top genetic engineer and had secretly been altering cannabis plants to look, taste and smell like harmless tomato plants. Well, you can’t be too careful…
Mrs Matheson told the Daily Mail: "I got a terrible fright and I couldn't understand what they were doing here because I knew we had nothing more than tomatoes in the window. I don't know what the neighbours must be thinking."
I expect they were thinking ‘There go the Keystone Shieldaig cops again'…
Mr Matheson said he was held in the bedroom while officers searched the furniture and under the mattress. He also said that the police impounded the family's pet dogs.

"They even 'arrested' Zac, our black labrador, and Moby, our Jack Russell, putting them in the back of one of the cop cars," Mr Matheson added.
In case they nipped out the back door to go for help, ‘Lassie’-style, no doubt…

You’d think, wouldn’t you, that after such a stunning FAIL! they’d be extremely apologetic, send flowers, etc. But no:
A police spokesman said: "We can confirm that, acting on information, we attended at an address in the Shieldaig area.

"No drugs were found as a result of the search."
There, see? ‘No harm done – the information was wrong, so we stormed into the house of a 79 year old widow, subjected her house to an intensive search and left without an apology, forcing her to put in a formal complaint. Job done.’

So, what are the ‘Strategic Priorities’ for the Northern Constabulary then?
The Force's Strategic Priorities for 2008/09 are: Reducing crime, tackling serious crime, safer roads, stronger, safer communities and maintaining public order
Nothing about improving their knowledge of horticulture then…?

And yes, it’s funny. But we pay these ‘public servants’ wages, and pensions, and entrust them with the job of addressing crime – the least they could do, when they cock up in spectacular fashion, is act contrite…

4 comments:

Letters From A Tory said...

Could she sue the police for kidnapping her dog? The poor canine must have been wondering what the hell was going on.

Umbongo said...

I note that the report says that the police were "acting on information". Will the informant suffer for providing useless and, probably, mischievous information? I doubt it. However, I suspect that had the information concerned a Baby P situation the police would have - as is now customary - sat on their hands whining that it's "not our responsibility".

Rob said...

She should be an aggressive black male. If the police raided a property belonging to someone like that and found nothing, they'd be grovelling within minutes.

I think she should sue the fucking arse off them. Incompetence beyond. Like a 79 year old is going to be growing canabis! For fucks sake, what's wrong with them? Well, apart from an insane attitude which sees 79 year old women as likely to be growing canabis as, say, 25 year old males.

JuliaM said...

"Will the informant suffer for providing useless and, probably, mischievous information?"

If there really was an informant...

"If the police raided a property belonging to someone like that and found nothing, they'd be grovelling within minutes."

Indeed. Or some rent-a-mouth 'community spokesperson' would be whining about it to the 'Guardian'.