Monday, 22 December 2008

Christmas Balls From Ed...

Whatever you do this Christmas, don't let the children into the kitchen while you are cooking the turkey.

Always finish your drink (Ed: No danger of breaking that rule!) to avoid a youngster having a taste and ending up with alcohol poisoning.

And, of course, never hang baubles on the tree. They might break and give someone a nasty cut.
Well, Christmas is for the kids, so it’s appropriate that the government treats us like them, I suppose...
These 'tips', from a list of gratuitous health and safety advice issued yesterday, came not from a misguided town hall jobsworth, but with the authority of Children's Secretary Ed Balls.

Mr Balls's officials have printed 150,000 leaflets designed to look like advent calendars, to be distributed through shopping malls and children's centres 'to help make the festive season safe'.
I wonder what that cost...?
Children's minister Delyth Morgan said the leaflet would remind parents of safeguards around the home so they can 'make sure Christmas is a time for fun and laughter but not tears'.

The advice leaflet, titled 'Tis the Season to be Careful, ran into trouble with critics who pointed out that Mr Balls's department is in charge of the 'safeguarding children' system that failed to prevent the death of Baby P.

Tory junior Children's spokesman Tim Loughton said: 'This is yet more evidence that the DCSF really stands for the Department that Can't Stop Fiddling.
While Rome Haringey burns, no less....

8 comments:

Stan said...

They've got to justify their enormous budgets somehow I guess ....

Furry Conservative said...

Also, bear in mind that these are THE VERY PEOPLE who will snear loudest at how stupid Americans are (allegedly), yet they feel that the British need to be told about stuff like this.

As Stan says, it is pure work creation.

I wonder if there has been a study done which investigates that the more people leave to the state, the more likely they are to suffer injury from their own neglect.

Furry Conservative said...

Gah! Meant 'sneer'. Illiterate bastard.

JuliaM said...

"...bear in mind that these are THE VERY PEOPLE who will snear loudest at how stupid Americans are..."

Indeed!

Ross said...

I see that they haven't warned us about running around the house with a pair of scissors, blindfolded, so I'm going to do that.

Umbongo said...

What leaves me breathless with outrage is the probability that not one person at said department asked the questions "is this necessary?" or "will this really make any difference?". Mind you, had an official asked those questions, he would have been ignored, overruled or (probably) moved to where he couldn't do any more damage and would now be Deputy Assistant Under Secretary (Carpets) at DCSF.

The Great Simpleton said...

150,000 leaflets is neither here nor there. If there is a problem then nearer a million leaflets and TV adverts would have been needed.

So presumably there isn't a problem and as Stan says, this is a feel good spend for someone with more budget than sense.

North Northwester said...

Also, try not to let strangers into your home who might bring infections at Christmas: particularly if there is a new baby in the place.

So that's gift-bearing Mesopotamian magicians and starry-eyed mountain pastoralists off the guest list for starters; not to say luminous heavenly messengers.

Likewise, both holly and ivy are poisonous and therefore harmful to THE CHILDREN.

Wassailing is right out, obviously, and so a contented and safe holiday season to you all, excluding none, from the Children's Minister.

Children's Minister for ....'s sake!