It's Celebrity Media Penance Time!

Celebrities really, really think we are all stupid, don't they?

The Manchester United manager, 67, has vowed to raise awareness on child car safety after it was revealed that Charlie, 10, was not in a booster seat. Nor was he wearing his seatbelt properly when he was injured.

Gosh, thanks awfully, Sir Alex, for that little pearl of wisdom to us wretched proles, but do you think maybe you could start with that 'awareness raising' by having a word with the dumb cow who was driving him?

You know, his mother...?

Because I have no rugrats, I don't even care much for rugrats, and even I know that. And wouldn't accept one into my car without it, because the driver is responsible.

Mmm, 'responsible'. Note that word. It won't crop up in any utterance from the mouths of these people, you can take that to the bank:

Now Charlie’s injured mother Nadine – the ex-wife of Sir Alex’s son Darren Ferguson – has broken her silence about the accident.

Nadine, 30, said from her hospital bed: “What happened to us is every parent’s worst nightmare. When I’m well enough, I plan to start a campaign to raise awareness and encourage all parents to be vigilant.

“I’m confident I will have Sir Alex’s support and I hope that with help from friends, we will be able to prevent other children suffering serious injury.”

You don't think it's possible that every other parent knows this already? And is reading this and thinking 'Glad I'm not that stupid'?

Well, no, of course not. It's the modern thing to do when you've screwed up catastrophically, isn't it? Get some publicity by telling everyone else what they probably already know.

Sir Alex revealed that Charlie was in the front seat but had pulled the “uncomfortable” seatbelt down under his arm and across his waist instead of across his shoulder. The manager said: “You never think about these things until it happens to your family.

Now I am telling everyone to make sure their children are wearing seatbelts properly.

Something should be done about safer seatbelts for children."

'Something Should Be Done!'

Ahh, the cry of the person who doesn't want to accept that he or someone close to him has screwed up in spite of all the safeguards. No, it's got to be because we just aren't told enough!

'Something' is done, Sir Alex. There are publicity campaigns, and information websites, and car/seatbelt instruction manuals, and word of mouth, and the inclusion of 'isshoos' in tv drama, and you know what? None of it will work if people feel that the rules of the road or the laws of physics don't apply to them.

Can't think where she might have got that idea from, by the way. Oooh, number three on that list rings a bell, doesn't he, Nadine?

But this was the bit that really made me see red:

“The children don’t want to put them over their shoulder; they want it on their lap.”

Argh! Of course they do, but it won't work that way, idiot!

Kids don't want to eat their vegetables, wear cycling helmets, put on suncream, and a host of other things. That's why they don't get to make the decisions. Adults do.

Pity they are in such short supply....