Thursday 5 November 2009

Happy ‘Non-Fire’ Night, All…

There's something magical about the moment a bonfire roars into life on Guy Fawkes night.

But in Devon this evening there won't be any waiting around for the flames to take hold.
You won’t believe what they plan to do instead
The blaze will be raging just as soon as the organisers press the on-button on their giant television.

Thousands will celebrate November 5 crowded around a screen showing film footage of fire after organisers gave up wrestling with health and safety rules to hold the real thing.
I can understand why they’d do this – as opposed to cancelling the event altogether – but words fail me…

They don’t fail Tim Worstall though:
” Time was, back when we were indeed a free nation, when we did not need permission for such things. It would not have occured to anyone that it was necessary: nor that anyone had the power to grant it.”
Indeed.

But that was then, and this is now:
Organisers at Ilfracombe Rugby Club say they were put off having the real thing by the 'mountain' of paperwork and regulations set by council bosses.
Our Big Boss in Brussels proposes, and our Little Boss, in town halls all across the land, disposes…
Officials at North Devon Council had cracked down on safety rules after yobs hurled fireworks on to a nearby football club bonfire five years ago. A spokesman for the council said the virtual bonfire did not fall under health and safety laws.

She added: 'If people are employed to provide a real bonfire or firework display then health and safety legislation will apply.'
Are you sure? Don’t you want to set a limit on how far away they need to sit from the screen to prevent eyestrain?

I probably shouldn’t give these people ideas, should I?

10 comments:

Weekend Yachtsman said...

Do they really think that "thousands" will turn out to watch a video of a bonfire...outdoors?

Joe Public said...

And just as the operative struggled to plug it in, it started raining: he got electrocuted...............

James Higham said...

There's something magical about the moment a bonfire roars into life on Guy Fawkes night.

And some drunk falls into the flames.

Rod said...

"yobs hurled fireworks on to a nearby football club bonfire five years ago."

So it wasn't the bonfire but yobs. Whats to stop them doing it again.

Witterings from Witney said...

Reminds me of the night 50 odd years ago when, at boarding school, on bonfire night a rocket lit by one of the teachers over-balanced and shot, straight as the proverbial arrow, into the pile of fireworks waiting to be lit!

Oh happy (non H&S) days..............

increasinglymiffed said...

Fuck, fuck, fuck.

Everything has changed so much, and fewer and fewer people remember it being different.

I despair. I really do.

Anonymous said...

When I was a nipper, there would be little lads walking around helping everyone light their sparklers. They would each have a perforated jerry-can on a rope, with burning coals in the bottom of the can. They would swing these incandescent lanterns around their heads.

There was Parkin, toffee apples, and extra staff on at the chip shop to cope with demand.

Rockets were stood in milk bottles. Jumping Jacks were lit and allowed to chase folk down the street. Catherine wheels were nailed onto coalshed doors. You could feel the warmth of the bonfire a hundred yards away. The smell of cordite the next morning was unforgettable. And all the ashes from the bonfire got carted off by the old codgers down at the allotments. For top dressing their vegetable plots.

increasinglymiffed said...

I remember playing on what we called "debris" (which were actually bomb sites), clambering over piles of bricks and rubbish.....

and around firework night we were playing with bangers there. And doing "penny for the guy".

It's not better now, really.

banned said...

If I were there I'd probably throw rocks at the stupid screen to increase awareness of my hostility.
At least they haven't managed to ban this yet ( also Devon )


Ottery Burning Tar Barrels Last Night

HealthnSafety, eat your heart out.

JuliaM said...

"Do they really think that "thousands" will turn out to watch a video of a bonfire...outdoors?"

I bet they didn't.

"So it wasn't the bonfire but yobs. Whats to stop them doing it again."

Or as Banned points out, throwing things at the telly. Better to crack down on the yobs, you'd think..

"Oh happy (non H&S) days.............."

Indeed! Things really were happier then.

"And doing "penny for the guy"."

Was just thinking the other day - I haven't seen one this year. Or last year. They used to be ubiquitous, always at the local train station.

Now, nothing. Maybe Hallowe'en really has taken over...