Do Manners Still Maketh Man?

Jenni Russell in ‘CiF’ thinks so, I’m glad to say:

A headhunter I bumped into last year told me about the difficulty she'd had in finding suitable staff. That week she'd taken a candidate with excellent paper qualifications for a meal. Which was where it all went wrong.

"His manners were just unspeakable. Shovelling food on to his fork with his fingers. Talking with his mouth full, but holding his hand over it. Licking his fingers." And that was that. "My business is done over lunch. That's where you persuade people and do deals. I can't employ someone if people won't want to eat with them."

You’d expect this to cue howls of protest from the usual CiF crowd but surprisingly, it doesn’t (though there are, of course, a few)…

Jenni goes on to explain that exam results aren’t everything:

Social barriers are more complex, as are employers' priorities. Yes, they want qualifications. What they prize most, though, are more elusive social skills: articulacy, tact, team-working. Those words all describe much the same thing – an employee who can get along with, and be understood by, those around them. Employers want people who can understand their business's social codes.

Unfortunately, not only are those qualifications themselves often not worth the paper they are printed on, but the children have been taught precisely the opposite of tact and team working.

The introduction of ‘child centred’ education has turned them into demanding little monsters, never corrected and therefore expecting to be able to ‘express themselves’ whenever and wherever they wish.

For many, the concept that their ideas might be wrong, or not as favourable as someone else’s ideas, will be a new experience. Which should make team meetings a bit of a challenge…

There's much talk of Britain being more egalitarian and multicultural. In reality it remains deeply hierarchical. The dominant culture is that of the white middle class; the elite culture is that of the upper middle. Anyone who hopes to be socially mobile has, by definition, to learn to read a culture that is not the one they grew up with. Otherwise, no matter what their formal qualifications, they will either fail to get in, or fail to progress. In essence, they are emigrating from one kind of life to another, but our pretence that these barriers no longer really exist means they often emigrate without a map.

Ouch! That truism has got to hurt the trendy educationalist that usually hangs out on CiF...

In west London, William Atkinson, the inspiring head of a school with a very deprived intake, says that it's essential that pupils understand the dominant culture. He introduces them all, whether future doctors or gardeners, to great literature, theatre, art. He expects a work ethic. He tells his pupils that street culture is fine for home, but that it's joining the dominant culture that will give them choice.

How far, do you suppose, will those who are told that ‘street culture’ is part of their identity and no-one should ‘stifle their creative expression’ expect to get?

Yeah. Just what I thought…

Teenagers need to spend time with adults outside their social groups as mentors, friends and employers. And we need to find a way to talk about behaviour, manners, codes. Not because one set is better than another, but because it's the way humans recognise their groups. Pretending rules don't exist or matter only has one result – it freezes social mobility, and entrenches elites.

She loses her way a little bit there – we should be able to advance the idea that ‘one set is better than another’.

But the main thrust of her article is bang on the money – the progressives who have hijacked the education system and pushed the ‘no one culture is better than another’ concept have crippled the chances of thousands upon thousands of now almost unemployable youths…

Raedwald also picks up on this and has a hiring anecdote of his own to recount.

"It waved above our infant might, when all ahead seemed dark as night..."

Pudgy columnist Johann Hari is exhorting the proletariat to rise up:

When you are just one person sitting on a warming planet – when you see economies collapsing, wars raging, and reasons for fear on every corner – how should you react? What can you do?

Gosh! I don't know, Johann, what can we do?

The first mood is to feel powerless, and to turn this into a defiant pessimism. You know the script. I can't make any difference. It's all going to happen, whatever I do. The political conversation is remote and boring and has nothing to do with me anyway. I'm going to buy an extra-big lock for my door, hug my kids a little tighter, and sit out the storm.

We all have these moods from time to time, but they have now turned into the default mode of citizens in the supposedly advanced democracies.

You mean, people have rightly surmised that marches, protests and sit ins don't get you anything but scorn, ridicule and corns...?

How surprising...

The second mood seems to be the opposite, but is actually its flipside. It says: what we need is a heroic leader who will save us. Enter Barack Obama. He's clever and articulate and has a conscience. He's the photographic negative of George W Bush. He will sort things out.

Lol!

Hmm, clever? How can we know?

Articulate? Not with the teleprompter off. And besides, you don't want to yse that particular term when talking about a black man, or your right-on friends and fellow progressives may turn on you!

As for his conscience, well, let's say the jury's still out, shall we?

Both these moods leave you – the ordinary citizen – inert. All you can do is focus on your own personal life and wait, for disaster or salvation. But these twin dispositions leave out the real option that is waiting for you. It is the only one that has ever delivered political change in the past, and it is the only one that will pull us out of the ditch now. It is where ordinary individual citizens – you – come together and raise their voices and offer solutions of their own.

Really, Johann?

Even if what they say is what you don't want to hear?

With Great Power Comes…

…well, great opportunity to run your own little fiefdom, it seems:

It boasts of being the ‘friendliest school in Great Britain’ – thanks to a Friends Reunited survey showing it has the most former pupils still in touch.

But according to angry staff, The Misbourne secondary school should be ranked among the most miserable because of the climate created by the headmaster and his lover, the deputy head.

Sounds like a microcosm of any other small organisation, doesn’t it?

Teachers held a series of clandestine pub meetings with union chiefs and the chairman of governors.

In the dossiers, they complained that the relationship between the two people running the school had for years made it impossible to complain about their ‘dictatorial’ management, which staff claim led to growing numbers of resignations through stress.

Shortly after the dossiers were handed in, Mr Howard-Drake suddenly announced his retirement – and Mrs Bates, who lives with him, last week resigned and left teaching.

How convenient…

Staff said it was obvious they were lovers but nothing was done despite a county council rule banning ‘individuals in a close personal relationship’ from working closely together.

Ah, yes. ‘One rule for them, quite another for us..’

Haven’t we heard that one before?

Among the dossiers’ allegations were claims that:

• ‘The head and deputy live together as man and wife and share the same authoritarian management style’.

• Staff were sometimes ‘refused permission to attend medical appointments and funerals’, but the head and deputy had been known to ‘take half days before a school holiday to facilitate holiday arrangements, and leave early to go away for the weekend’.

• ‘The head and deputy have a strict policy not to meet or talk to parents’.

• The head used ‘foul language’ while the deputy sometimes ‘berates staff in front of colleagues and students’.

• When Ofsted was due to visit, ‘all staff were warned not to speak to the inspectors’.

• Staff were told there was no training budget, but the head allegedly went on a course in America, and the deputy went on one in South Africa.

• The head refused to close the school when there was a rat infestation.

These people were wasted as teachers, anyway. They need to get into politics, quick!

They Shall Not Pass!

It seems the sense of community isn’t as dead as predicted:

In a landmark action to stop the blight that has hit so many communities, residents of a housing estate that now occupies the former RAF Locking have barricaded themselves into the 100-acre site and mounted a 24-hour guard. Every car coming in or out of the estate near Weston-super-Mare was checked.

What ‘blight’ could possibly drive people to these measures?

And what sort of people are we talking about?

All through the night they stood at the gates, ready to repel the invasion.

The old RAF camp had never seen an army like this, not in all its years of proud service.

There was a nurse, a lorry driver, a shopkeeper and ambulanceman, several young mothers with children at their side – and a Staffordshire bull terrier called Kandie.

A real cross-section, then. And their opponents?

Take a wild guess:

But last weekend, after 15 or 20 caravans were evicted from a nearby field, some of the ‘gipsies’ drove around the Locking site and took photographs.

One of them let it be known they had targeted the privately-owned estate and intended to set up camp on some of the open, grassy landscape where children play and people walk their dogs. He reportedly warned residents not to resist, adding: ‘We’ve got guns.’

You’d think warnings of imminent armed invaders to a respectable area would bring the police out in force, would you?

Sadly, you’d be wrong:

What happened next is a depressingly familiar saga that has unfolded in countless towns and villages, where travellers have used human rights legislation to ride roughshod over any laws that apply to ordinary folk.

The police were sympathetic but said they had only limited powers to act, primarily if a breach of the peace was threatened.

The local council – which has a legal duty anyway to provide formal sites for travellers – said it could not intervene at this stage.

When will they both intervene? When it’s too late to do anything about it, of course.

When someone’s been shot, or when the travellers are camped out and entrenched into their stolen land…

And before the usual suspects begin whining about ‘rich home owners NIMBYism and prejudice’, they can just think again:

‘We’ve got nothing against real gipsies or law-abiding travellers – there are already some in the area and they’re no trouble at all.

‘But even the ones that are here now told us this lot were different. They said they were “just a bunch of ****ing pikeys”.

‘They’re certainly not Romanies. They’re just parasites, the dregs of humanity, and we don’t want them here. But it’s the same old story. The law looks after people like this far better than it looks after us. They’ve got their “human rights”. Thanks to the law as it is at the moment, we don’t seem to have any human rights.’

Is he wrong?

He isn’t, is he?

The estate was formed after the Ministry of Defence put the old RAF living quarters and some of the land up for sale. A development company converted 328 homes and sold them to private buyers.

Properties on the estate are now worth between about £150,000 and £320,000. Many have been turned into suburban havens by proud owners, in tranquil roads where hanging baskets and cherry trees abound.

Now some of those same people are doing guard duty for up to 20 hours at a stretch.
Louise Bailey, 31, a part-time supermarket worker and mother of two, told me: ‘We feel totally let down. There doesn’t seem to be any way of protecting our community apart from doing it ourselves.’

Quite. As Obsidian remarked:

”… will we eventually see something over here? Public anger isn't boiling over, is barely palpable - we're British and tend to do the whole Stiff Upper Lip thing, wing mirrors smashed again? Fix them, no point informing the police as they'll do precisely bugger all - but it is rising, like acid reflux, and starting to irritate a little. Before long it'll burn, and all that pent up rage will unwind as the Stiff Upper Lip shifts to Thoughtless Rage.”

Let’s hope we see more of this type of non-violent action instead.

But if we don’t, or if the violence from the other side escalates, who will really be at fault here?

Two miles away, a vision of what they are fighting against was emerging in the morning mist. About a dozen caravans and vehicles set up camp on some grass verges beside the M5 motorway. Other trucks and caravans joined them later.

How long would they be there, I asked one of the men. ‘Not long,’ he said with a smile. ‘Not long.’

The people of Locking have shown the way.

Can others - will others – follow where they lead?

Treating People Like Beasts...

A post on the unfortunate incident of the Aborigine with the Taser over at ‘Angry Exile’s blog came to mind at the weekend.

He writes about the paternalistic attitude of the Aussie authorities to Aborigine communities:

But as annoying as that is the other situation, that of no booze zones because of the amount of alcohol abuse among some indigenous Australians, is if anything even worse. Not only is it paternalistic and borderline racist - I know it's the wrong country but it smacks of White Man's Burden to me - but what effect is it having? Well, since they're going to be hassled by the police for having alcohol some choose to sniff petrol instead, and that brings us full circle to some poor bastard jerking to the rhythm of the Taser while trying to put out the fire on his chest. A further complication is that I'm told that some alcohol bans in and around Aboriginal communities have been brought in at the request of the communities themselves. Now that made me rethink the situation. Isn't it equally patronizing to suggest that the Elders of a community aren't able to decide what should and shouldn't go on there? Isn't it just like a home owner asking people not to smoke in his house, and expecting them to comply or go outside? I can't help but feel that there's probably a middle ground here, and scaling up that home owner example might be roughly the direction to take. But it's a bit of a minefield and all I know for certain is that banning booze in public areas is not an answer. At best you move the problem on to somewhere else and at worst you end up with people abusing more dangerous substances that you can't so easily ban and can't readily police if you try.

The reason it came to mind at the weekend was because I happened to see, in the ‘Telegraph’, the most stunningly racist photo I’ve ever seen.

It was a group of tribesmen clustered round a car, underneath a honking great sign saying (in terms usually reserved for warnings about bears at Yosemite) that tourists should not feed them, offer them rides in cars, etc.

These were people. And yet, the sign treated them as less than human. And apparantly 'for their own good'. Their own good, of course, being defined as what the 'Oh! Native cultures are so wonderful!' crowd decided for them.

I can’t find it in the online edition, but this article describes the situation:

Over the last decade, the number of tourist trips into their jungle reserve has grown so rapidly that critics say it increasingly resembles a human safari park. An array of notices at the entrance to the forest instructs visitors not to stop or allow the Jarawa into their vehicles, not to take photographs - and not to feed the tribesmen or to give them clothing.

Because these people aren’t to be treated as people, capable of deciding for themselves: ‘Sod the loincloth and spears – I want an iPod!’. They are to be treated as pets, or worse than pets – as animals in a reserve, to be forced to maintain their ‘native culture’ whether they like it or not.

Seriously, how is it that anyone who claims to be ‘anti-racist’ isn’t up in arms over this?

Meanwhile, what concerns the right-on union warriors over here in the UK?

Well, according to Pavlov’s Cat, this sort of thing:

Unison took action against its members, including the Greenwich branch's Onay Kasab and Bromley’s Glenn Kelly, after they produced a leaflet showing the three wise monkeys from a Japanese proverb, with the caption "See no evil, hear no evil, speak no evil".

The leaflet criticised the union for a lack of debate at its national conference in 2007, but the four were told by union chiefs some people could find the image racially offensive.

/golfclap.

Well done, lads. Obviously, we have no more real or pressing problems with race in this country. As Pavlov puts it:

So 'some people could' , but nobody did , did they ? or you could bet these guys feet would not have touched the ground if an actual complaint had been made.

Indeed…

Multiculturalism In Action...

Police said one of the attackers was described as a light-skinned, mixed-race man, about 19 years old, 6ft tall and of an athletic build. He had short, dark-brown hair and was wearing a black, short-sleeved T-shirt and black bottoms.

The second attacker was described as Asian, aged around 14, about 5ft 4in tall and fat. He was wearing black clothing.

The driver of the car, which was possibly a five-door vehicle with tinted rear windows, was described as white, aged 17 to 18, of a wiry build with light-coloured, crew-cut hair.

Another member of the group was a black girl, aged around 14, about 5ft 2in tall, thin and with her hair tied back in a braid.

How diverse! How wonderfully vibrant ...

More Wind Turbines In A Spin…

Things are looking bleaker and bleaker for wind-freaks:

Europe's largest onshore windfarm project has been thrown in severe doubt after the RSPB and official government agencies lodged formal objections to the 150-turbine plan, it emerged today.

Oh, dear…

The RSPB heavily criticised the proposal from Viking Energy after initially indicating it could support the scheme. The RSPB also claims now that installation of the turbines could release significant carbon dioxide from the peat bogs affected, undermining the turbines' potential to combat global warming.

The group's fears have been endorsed by the government's official conservation advisers, Scottish Natural Heritage, and SNH has also objected to the "magnitude" of the scheme, claiming it could kill many of these birds through collisions with the 145-metre-high structures.

Eco-freaks vs twitchers. This could get nasty!

The Scottish Environment Protection Agency (Sepa), which oversees pollution and waste laws in Scotland, has also formally objected, making it inevitable the scheme will now go to a full public inquiry and intensifying pressure on the developers to alter the scale of the project.

All those government departments joining in the fightback.

This won’t go down well when The Millipede comes back from his hols:

Miliband has said that climate change poses a greater threat to landscapes than windfarms and that opposing them should be "socially unacceptable".

Heh…

Meanwhile, over on the Isle of Wight, some watermelons are learning a lesson in harsh economic reality:

They were given a slice of pizza, an apple and a can of fizzy drink; then the workers holed up inside a wind turbine plant on the Isle of Wight noticed something nasty lurking inside their food parcels.

More than a week into their wildcat occupation of the Vestas Wind Systems plant 11 workers opened letters from the management telling them they had been sacked with immediate effect and without compensation.

Well, yes, that happens when you go on strike and occupy your employers property. Welcome to the real world…

Lawyers for Vestas, which plans to shift production of turbine blades to the US, are due to seek a repossession order for the factory in court .

Meanwhile, environmental activists are heading to the island to lend their support in a dispute which has become a symbol of the UK's apparent inability to push through a major expansion in wind power despite the government's recently restated support for the technology.

Numbers joining the "red-green" protests could be significantly boosted after 15,000 people who had bought tickets for the Big Green Gathering festival in Somerset this weekend – cancelled at short notice due to licensing problems – were urged by activists to go to the Isle of Wight instead.

Hippies incoming!

The Dave won’t be pleased to hear this either:

Research published this week by Greenpeace showed that Conservative-run local councils had turned down more than three times as many windfarms as they approved between December 2005 and November 2008. Labour-controlled councils approved marginally more projects than they turned down.

Hmm, it seems that ‘green’ pie in the sky is all very well, until the time comes to make those big decisions. The ones that might result in your removal from office by fed-up voters…

In yet another blow to the technology's spread in the UK, the chief executive of BP reiterated today that the energy giant would not invest in windfarms here.

Tony Hayward said the company preferred to focus on the US.

Stick ‘em outside Congress! There’s plenty of wind generated there…

I Can Think Of Plenty Of Better Reasons To Sack BBC Executives...

…’Survivors’ and ‘The One Show’ being just two of them.

But according to new hire Patrick Younge (yes, if that name rings a bell, you’ll see why in a minute), not bowing to the racemongers should be the only one:

One of the BBC’s top black executives has called for TV bosses to be sacked if they fail to meet racial diversity targets.
Patrick Younge, who is set to take over at BBC Vision, the corporation’s programme-making section, claimed there was not enough ‘internal pressure’ for change.

He has said the targets should be treated like financial aims, suggesting that if bosses miss them they should pay the consequences.

‘Not enough internal pressure for change’ means that the bosses demand it, but the people who actually do the job think they are idiots who don’t know what they are talking about.

And they are probably right:

His comments may be particularly embarrassing for the corporation’s top executives – as the BBC has failed to hit its own targets.

This year’s annual report showed it set a figure of 12.5 per cent of staff to come from black and minority backgrounds, but managed 12.1 per cent.

Its record for top staff was worse – it hoped to get 7 per cent of senior managers from this group but ended up with 5.6 per cent.

Someone remind me again what the breakdown is for ethnic minorities in UK society?

It was announced last month that Mr Younge, whose brother Gary writes for the Guardian, was re-joining the BBC after working for the Travel Channel in America since 2005.

Oh, yeah. He’s related to that Gary Younge.

Excellent!

One chippy racemonger in the paper-based MSM, one in the broadcast MSM…

Mr Younge, who will look after shows such as Top Gear and Doctor Who, suggested ITV was one of the worst offenders on the issue.

He told Broadcast magazine: ‘As far as I am aware, ITV doesn’t have one black or Asian commissioning editor and it really shows.’

It does?

How..?

Because as Dumb Jon and North Northwester point out, their output isn't exactly that different to the Beeb's exciting, diverse, surprising line up...

Who Are You Going To Believe? Scientists, Or Your Lyin’ Eyes?

Last week, a North East mum was furious after her five-year-old was labelled “overweight” by an NHS measurement programme based on BMI results.

Beth Coates, of Dudley, near Cramlington, claimed BMI was inaccurate for the changing bodies of under-12s, and rubbished figures that placed her son Antonio in the top one per cent of obese children.

My mind conjured up (given that the 'top one per cent' sounds like the very worst example) a mini landwhale, eyes like two raisins in dough, wearing grown man t-shirts and struggling to breathe and walk unaided.

Well, there’s a picture of the lad in the newspaper, and if he’s obese, I’m a banana.

Never mind being in the top one per cent of the obese range, he’s pretty normal for a young boy.

His mother said she feared it could prompt worried parents into starting children on unhealthy and draconian diets.

Ms Coates said: “If wasn’t strong in myself I might start to think I was doing something wrong and start to deny Antonio food. It could give children serious eating disorders. I don’t want Antonio growing up thinking he is obese when he is not.”

Good for you! To hell with the scientists - only someone with an eating disorder themselves could look at this chap and proclaim him even 'chubby'.

Of course, no-one had actually observed the child. This was yet another 'diagnosis by tickbox'.

And when the child's mother had the temerity to question the wisdom of this, she was basically told she didn't know what she was talking about:

But Dr Ashley Adamson, a senior lecturer at the Human Nutrition Research Centre at Newcastle University, warned that our perceptions of what “overweight” means has changed. And while athletes were an extreme case, she said that BMI was still an accurate and reliable measure for the majority of people.

“We did a study of 500 children in the North East, using four of the most sophisticated measures of body fat, and we found that it tallied very well with the simple BMI scores,” Dr Adamson said.

Put down your charts and graphs and figures and take a look at this boy, genius. If he's classed as in the top one per cent of obese children, something's very wrong.

“Parents read the statistics about childhood obesity and say they don’t see that in the playground.

“But scientists have measured them, and 69% of children are overweight or obese. Our perceptions of what ‘fat’ looks like have shifted.”

Oh, please!

Take a look at the photo of the lad. If you maintain that your figures prove him ‘obese’, then you need to relook at your figures.

Any fat on that child is designed to be there. It’s called ‘puppy fat’ and you cannot measure a growing child on the same scale as an adult. One size does NOT fit all.

She added: “What we need is more support for parents. Many don’t have an accurate image of what weight children should be.”

They know if the child can’t run, jump, play or see their toes they are overweight, dangerously so. Everything else will be cured by that most egalitarian of cures – growing up…

Conservatives In ‘Doing Their Job’ Shock!

At least some Conservatives have retained their principles of fair play (though I’m sure the wrath of The Dave will descend soon as he tries to keep in with the in-crowd):

More than a thousand gipsy and traveller children have been given laptop computers to help them with their schoolwork.

The free equipment and wireless internet access is estimated to be worth up to £750 per pupil, and is costing the taxpayer £300,000 a year.

(…speechless…)

Some children are also being handed printers and digital cameras under a controversial Government-backed scheme aimed at encouraging them to stay in education.

Should that be their parent’s job?

Oh, but we’ll see later that no, it isn’t…

Last night, the Conservatives, who obtained the figures, warned that the scheme risked fuelling resentment among taxpayers. Only days ago it emerged that gipsy and traveller children are being given priority admission to popular state schools.

In addition, gipsy and traveller families are getting priority to see GPs and dentists.

Quite. Nothing annoys ‘Middle England’ so much as unfairness. Particularly when they are expected to pay for it…

Studies have shown that children who relocate regularly quickly become demotivated with learning and disengaged with their school friends and school life. In addition, many traveller parents provide little support for their children's academic learning, with a small number believing that formal education offers little or no value to their children's futures.

So, it’s the fault of their lifestyle? Should they be expected, then, to change their lifestyle, at least while their children as school age?

To do otherwise would be…well, deliberately disadvantaging their children, wouldn’t it?

Tory local government spokesman Bob Neill said: 'However well-meaning, I am concerned the Government's policies on travellers threaten to undermine community cohesion and inflame community tensions.

'The British people believe in fair play - it's not fair that one small group get privileged access to public services, whilst hard-working families who struggle to pay their bills and taxes are pushed to the back of the queue.'

Can’t argue with that…

Judge In ‘Telling The Truth’ Shock!

Hmm, I think someone will be having a word with Judge Ian Trigger in the near future:

Hundreds of thousands of immigrants come to Britain just to get welfare benefits, a senior judge declared yesterday.

Judge Ian Trigger said the cost of the handouts has helped to double the national debt.

Oh, I can hear the screams from the progressives as I type…

He spoke out as he gave a two-year jail sentence to a Jamaican drug minder who disappeared from the notice of immigration authorities after claiming asylum.

He told Lucien McClearley, 31, at Liverpool Crown Court: 'Your case illustrates all too clearly the completely lax immigration policy that exists and has existed over recent years.'

Sentencing McClearley, he added: 'People like you, and there are literally hundreds and hundreds of thousands of people like you, come to these shores to avail themselves of the generous welfare benefits that exist here.

'In the past ten years the national debt of this country has risen to extraordinary heights, largely because central Government has wasted billions of pounds. Much of that has been wasted on welfare payments.

'For every £1 that the decent citizen, who is hard-working, pays in taxes, nearly 10 per cent goes on servicing that national debt. That is twice the amount it was in 1997 when this Government came to power.'

Ouch!

That last one, in particular, may get him into trouble, as it could be said that it was overtly political, which is frowned on in judicial circles, isn’t it?

So, how did this cunning master criminal escape the talons of the Immigration authorities anyway?

McClearley arrived legally in Britain in November 2001 on a visitor's visa.

He was arrested in October 2002 after it ran out but claimed asylum and was released while this was being processed.

He then 'disappeared from the radar of the authorities', the court heard. His application was rejected in 2004 but he was only arrested this February after police stopped a car he was driving and noticed it smelled of cannabis.

Oh.

By hiding in plain sight, while absolutely no-one bothered to look for him, then?

Never mind ‘disappearing’ from the radar, the authorities never apparently switched the radar system on in the first place!

Missing The Point Spectacularly…

Yes, it’s another one of these stories:

Television and radio presenter Nicky Campbell's mother was banned from taking photographs of his children at a swimming pool.

She’s pretty forthright in her complaint.

'The attendant was adamant that I had to stop. He might have taken away my camera. I must say, it is a sign that we are living in a nanny state.'

It is indeed.

Can you expect some help from your famous son?

Mr Campbell, who presents BBC One's Watchdog and the Breakfast show on Radio 5 Live, said: 'I am sorry.... I don't think my mother looks like a paedophile or a terrorist.

'She is from an era when such things were acceptable.

/headdesk

Newsflash for you, Nicky. It still is acceptable!

And if people told the petty little Hitlers where to get off, and informed them that if they tried to confiscate their camera, they’d see them (and their employers) in court for theft, as they have no legal powers to do so, we could nip this madness in the bud.

Will no-one stand up for themselves any more?

A spokesman for Edinburgh Leisure that runs the swimming pool denied there was a wholesale ban on photography, claiming staff took a 'common sense approach'.

Ah ha ha ha ha!

Who knew Edinburgh Leisure would join in with ‘Silly Week’?

The Police Are Revolting!

But in a good way:

Scores of Scotland Yard officers are in open revolt after being banned from wearing Union Flag badges in support of British troops.

Met chiefs have decreed that the tiny emblems – which cost £1 with proceeds going to charity – must be removed after a complaint that they are offensive.

To whom? And why?

The report doesn’t say, only that ‘a complaint’ was received. So one malicious or ignorant little troublemaker gets to set policy for the Met?

A petition has been launched on the Downing Street website demanding they be allowed to wear the badges, which are to raise funds for the Royal British Legion and the Help for Heroes charity.

Good! I’ll be signing it, and I’ve put the link at the foot of this post.

Peter Smyth, chairman of the Metropolitan Police Federation, said: ‘The decision to forbid police officers from joining the rest of the country in showing support for those who are fighting for their country is nothing less than shameful.’

And it looks like some police, at least, have finally had enough.

Officers at Heathrow were also ordered to take down a Union Flag hoisted on June 27 – Armed Forces Day – because it was not an ‘approved ensign’. Strict rules are in place about when the Union Flag can be flown at individual police stations.

Mr Smyth added: ‘These orders from senior officers are legal and must be obeyed. They are, however, also completely crass.’

Not only that, they damage the reputation of the police and increase the number of civilians who no longer view them as ‘our police’ but rather as representatives of an increasingly out-of-touch ruling elite.

Because their double-standards have been noticed…

Mr Smyth said senior officers routinely turn a blind eye to constables wearing gay pride ribbons when they go on marches.

Well, of course they do! Those are favoured causes, and as such, are exempt from ‘the rules’.

More evidence of this is in the flag dispute:

In February, Scotland Yard was hit by another row over political correctness after the Union Flag hanging outside a police station was replaced by a gay rights flag to mark Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgender (LGBT) history month.

This is despite Met rules stating that only the Union Flag and its own flag can fly from force buildings.

So, rules are only there until politically inconvenient, and they can then be dispensed with, while maintaining them for causes that are not politically convenient.

How..convenient….

The Downing Street petition is here.

Update: They've backed down.

Metropolitan Police Commissioner Sir Paul Stephenson has made an "exception" to the force's dress code by allowing officers to display union jack badges.

Sir Paul's intervention came after about 2,700 people signed an online petition on the Number 10 website.

"Life clocks are a lie! Carousel is a lie! There is no renewal!"

Mixed feelings about this move:

The Royal College of Nursing is to meet Scottish MP Margo MacDonald to discuss proposals on legalising assisted suicide after the organisation dropped its five-year opposition to the policy.

MacDonald, who has Parkinson's disease, is planning to introduce a bill to legalise assisted suicide in Scotland in the autumn.

It seems there’s a movement afoot to ‘normalise’ this, supported by polls:

The move comes as a poll found that 74% of people want doctors to be allowed to help terminally ill people end their lives.

The survey in today's Times found that six out of 10 people said they wanted friends and relatives to be able to help their dying loved ones to take their own lives, without fear of prosecution.

However, while I can’t say that I think those who take their relatives abroad to Dignitas should be prosecuted (far from it) I’m wary of this becoming the norm. And I’m not alone.

The Christian Nurses and Midwives organisation said today it regretted the RCN's policy shift. Secretary Steve Fouch said it sent out the wrong signals "at a time when there is growing anxiety about how we will care for the elderly and severely disabled in the future".

Their statement will be pooh-poohed as ‘religious scaremongering’. But there’s a grain of truth to it.

Because a glance across the Channel to the continent will show this has already been experienced in the Netherlands:

Euthanasia critics have talked about the "slippery slope" as a possibility; in the Netherlands, it is a fact.

Many old people now fear Dutch hospitals. More than 10% of senior citizens who responded to a recent survey, which did not mention euthanasia, volunteered that they feared being killed by their doctors without their consent. One senior-citizen group printed up wallet cards that tell doctors that the cardholder opposes euthanasia.

Is this just panic and scaremongering? Can it be dismissed as ‘something that can’t happen here’?

Well, we are on the right road to it:

What makes the Dutch comfortable with euthanasia? One factor is that their doctors became comfortable with it. "The Dutch have got so far so fast because right from the beginning, they have had the medical profession on their side," Derek Humphrey, founder of the Hemlock Society, told the Toronto Globe and Mail last September. "Until we get a significant part of the medical profession on our side, we won't get very far."

So, how has this gained such a grip on the doctors?

Glad you asked:

How did Dutch doctors change their thinking so dramatically in the space of one lifetime?

The path to the death culture began when doctors learned to think like accountants. As the cost of socialized medicine in the Netherlands grew, doctors were lectured about the importance of keeping expenses down.

In many hospitals, signs were posted indicating how much old-age treatments cost taxpayers. The result was a growing "social pressure" from doctors and others, says Arno Heltzel, a spokesman for the Catholic Union of the Elderly, the largest Dutch senior-citizen group, which favors voluntary euthanasia. "Old people have to excuse themselves for living. When they say that all of their friends are dead, people say, 'Maybe it is time for you to go too,' rather than, 'You need to find new friends.' "

I bet NICE has some of those posters ready to go to the printers already…

Anyone want to try to argue that this won’t happen here, if the bureaucrats get involved?

Swine Flu Crisis? What Swine Flu Crisis?

One of two new flu centres in the Bromley borough has closed due to a lack of demand for antiviral drugs.

The antiviral collection point at the Beckenham Clinic in The Crescent, Beckenham, opened on Friday (July 24) to coincide with the launch of the National Flu Service.

Another centre at the Bromley North Clinic in Babbacombe Road, Bromley, opened on Saturday (July 25).

But bosses at Bromley Primary Care Trust (PCT) say nurses only handed out 200 courses of Tamiflu drugs over the weekend - not enough to justify keeping the Beckenham centre open.

C'mon MSM, you aren't managing to stoke up the panic! Gordon will be soooo cross....

The Race Card Doesn't Have The Same Effect As It Used To Have, Does It?

Hmmm, large festival can’t go ahead as planned in Rochdale due to money problems with the organisers.

A sign of the times, in the recession?

The multi-cultural festival was called off at the eleventh hour after organisers at the Multi-cultural Arts and Media Centre were unable to come to a compromise with Rochdale Council over a hefty deposit.

Yup, looks like it.

But hark! Is that the cry of the lesser spotted grievance-monger I hear?

But Councillor Robin Parker hit out at Wednesday's meeting of the full council, claiming the cancellation was down to concerns over security.

He said: "The success of the Feel Good Festival was superb, if it's possible to secure an event like that then it's also possible to secure the Mega Mela.

"I believe that we are at risk of moving to a borough that could be accused of institutional racism."

Oh noes! Not ‘institutional racism’!

And all because the organisers of the Mega Mela are being asked to conform to the same standards as everyone else…

Andy Zuntz, executive director at Rochdale Council, said: "It is unfortunate that this event has been cancelled despite all our best efforts to make sure that robust plans and arrangements were put in place to ensure its success.

"However, the event organisers decided to withdraw their application because of their inability to place a deposit with the council which is deeply regrettable. A deposit needed to be taken as protection against any potential damage caused to the park and would have been refunded if it was not required."

What does Cllr Parker think Rochdale should do then?

Waive the deposit, and then have all those other festivals clamouring for equitable treatment? Or pay their deposit from council coffers, and face the wrath of the taxpayer?

"Who will buy my sweet red roses cut price cauliflower?"

Clacton NHS obviously has money to burn:

Health champions want to get deprived residents eating their greens by taking fruit and veg directly to their doors.

The NHS-sponsored volunteers are targeting two of the most deprived areas in Clacton to turn residents from chip butties to broccoli.

They plan to take the healthy food door-to-door and sell it at cut price.

They’ll have to beat the ‘Pizza Express’ delivery man to the door first. Perhaps they’d better buy a high-performance car for the job?

Sue Felgate, leader for the health trainers, said: “It is not going to be easy, but it is something we would love to see happen. We are really keen to get this going. It is about increasing access to fruit and vegetables in areas that are not very near a supermarket.

“It is a bit brought on from Jamie Oliver, and his project to get people cooking and sharing recipes. It is really about getting people interested in food again.”

She said the scheme would see health trainers pro-actively approaching households, and the cheap produce would be backed-up with recipe suggestions and maybe even cooking clubs and tasting sessions.

And we’ll be paying for it, with our taxes.

Yes, this is where the NI contributions are going, not on heart operations and setting wee kiddiewinks’ broken legs, but on paying for harebrained schemes like this one, and the useless, otherwise-unemployable staff to run them.

The van would initially target Jaywick and Pier Ward in central Clacton, areas where poor health is an issue and life expectancy is low compared to nearby districts.

So, the residents of Jaywick and Pier Ward are dying early purely because they aren’t eating enough cabbage, are they?

Are you sure about that? There aren’t any other factors?

Ms Felgate said: “Everybody always says to eat healthily is terribly expensive.

“Jaywick does not have a supermarket, but it does have a lot of fast food places.

“People have lost their cooking skills and don’t tend to cook for themselves as much as they used to.”

Really, Ms Felgate?

Or is it just that they can’t be bothered, as Leg-Iron pointed out?

Needless to say, this barmy scheme is eagerly lapped up by the people who cling, leech-like, to the state, and those who think the state should provide them a living without them having to lift a finger:

Kevin Colman, chairman of the Pier Ward Interaction Partnership, which represents people in ward, said: “It is a great idea. If it can help, even in a small way, why not? ”

A member of the Jaywick community forum website wrote: “What a great idea. We can no longer afford our five a day and have had to cut back.”

Anything else we can do for you, anon? Provide a nurse to spoon it into your gaping maw too, save you having to lift your no doubt flabby arms?

Surely, Colin Philpott Will Get A Community Order, If Anything..?

Lots of interest in the case of Colin Philpott, the businessman who was arrested for attempted murder after confronting yobs who were attacking his stepson yesterday.

Well, as long as he has no previous convictions, and maintains how frightened he was, and how the situation got out of control, he should be ok.

At least, by the standards of this case:

A 16-year-old boy has been given a community order for violent disorder following an attack which left a student fighting for his life.

Note, this little thug was the aggressor…

On June 25, 2007, 20-year-old Faheem Javaid was stabbed, punched, kicked and hit with a brick and a motorcycle helmet near the McDonalds restaurant in Well Hall Road, Eltham.

Mr Javaid was attacked after his younger brother was robbed by a group of youths on a bus, the Old Bailey heard on July 24.

Charges of attempted murder and robbery against the 16-year-old, who cannot be named for legal reasons, were dropped after he pleaded guilty to violent disorder on June 22.

He had said he was “frightened” during the attack and the situation had got “totally out of control” .

Aww, bless. Didn’t fancy the odds then, his mob of thugs against a single unarmed man?

Perhaps he’ll grow up to be another Glen Francis…

Judge David Paget gave the 16-year-old, who had no previous convictions, a 12-month community punishment and rehabilitation order.

That’ll teach him…

Still, sauce for the goose, eh? Can Mr Philpott expect any less?

Awww, Diddums!

Glen Francis fancies himself as a bit of a hard man, it seems. After police tried to arrest his girlfriend, he went a bit ‘Charles Bronson’:

Francis grabbed a female officer and threatened to shoot her, officers claimed.

The 35-year-old later apparently lunged at officers with a 15cm (6in) knife. He was shot twice with a Taser but pulled out the barbs and barricaded himself in, screaming: 'The first copper in here is getting f*****g killed.'

Correctly reasoning that the quickest way to the discerning modern chavette's heart knickers is by an alpha dog display of dominance, Glen made his stand.

Sadly for him, he was a Pomeranian when it came to making good on his threat.

After a two-hour stand-off, armed officers stormed the address in North Shields, Tyne and Wear, Tasered him three more times and arrested him.

He can consider himself lucky he was only shot with a Taser…

But it seems Glen Francis isn’t the rough, tough, brawlin’ son of a gun he appeared to be. He’s complained about his arrest.

Specifically, that he was referred to as a (censored) by one of the police arresting him:

But Francis claimed a sergeant was guilty of misconduct for using a four-letter word, a claim which was upheld after an inquiry.

'I want to take legal action because they just get a telling off for what they did,' said Francis. 'It upset me to hear someone say that.'

Poor, delicate flower!

Still, they won’t take this seriously, surel…

Oh:

A police sergeant has been ordered to undertake a "management advice course" because he swore while dealing with a violent and abusive criminal who had threatened officers during a two-hour siege.

I wonder what he’ll be taught on it?

Hopefully, how to hang on to the Taser button until scum like this are medium-rare, next time. Dead men make no compensation claims for rude words...

An investigation by Northumbria Police Professional Standards Department (PSD) found the sergeant guilty of misconduct for using the swear word.

A PSD report states that the sergeant was pushed into making an "inappropriate comment" following a tirade of abuse from Francis.

I’m guessing the officers who staff these departments aren’t front-line officers? Have never been in a scuffle with a bad ‘un in their lives? Consensus over at Insp Gadget's is 'No'...

Francis's complaints of being stripped and handcuffed on a cell floor were dismissed.

He says he is discussing legal action with his solicitor and plans to lodge a complaint with the European Court of Human Rights.

Francis, now of Wallsend, North Tyneside, said: "I want to take legal action because they just get a telling off for what they did.

"It was an insult when I heard how the officer who swore at me got off - it upset me to hear someone say that. I've got a hole in my heart and they used a Taser, which could have killed me."

You know how you can avoid being Tasered, even if you don't have a medical condition, Glen?

By not indulging in a two-hour standoff with armed cops and waving a knife at them!

Still, at least he got a good long spell in jail to think abou…

Oh:

After the incident in February 2008, he was charged with offences of false imprisonment, threats to kill and affray.

He was convicted of affray at Newcastle Crown Court in September and given a 12-month suspended prison sentence.

Yup. That does indeed read ‘suspended’. I had to check it several times just to make sure my eyes weren’t deceiving me…

So, you can indulge in threats to kill, wave knives at the police, need to be Tasered repeatedly to put you down, and you don't even go to jail for it?

What sort of country is this?

Francis, who underwent an operation in January to repair a heart defect from birth, said: "I was a toe-rag when I was younger, but I'm trying to go straight. I'm really scared of the police now - I'm like a bag of nerves."

That’s your idea of ‘trying to go straight’…?

*sigh*

That cop was right - you are indeed a (censored)...

"...then offer me the same thing in a different guise ..."

David Cameron warned yesterday that the better-off must share the pain of repairing public finances.

He said tax credits for households on £50,000 a year or more could no longer be justified.

Good point. Surely no-one could argue with that?

But oh, what's this?

The Tory leader also hinted that his flagship inheritance tax cut may take several years to implement - and raised the prospect of new road tolls.

Mr Cameron said: 'In saying to the country that we need to reduce public spending, we need to get the budget balance under control, we've got to be able to demonstrate to people that this is fair and seen to be fair and that everyone is putting their shoulder to the wheel.

'And that means the wealthy have to pay their fair share.'

Dave, Dave, Dave…

The wealthy are already paying their fair share. Talking about it in these terms isn’t going to earn you any brownie points with anyone other than the idiots who believe wealth is a zero-sum game, and if someone has a lot, there’s less for others.

Do you really want to attract idiots like that?

But he risked angering Right-wing MPs by insisting that the budgets for overseas aid and the NHS would not be touched - and would continue to grow. Insulating those areas will mean deeper cuts elsewhere.

We’ve already discussed how bad an idea this is. And it’s not ‘right-wing MPs’ he should be wary of alienating, but voters.

There’s no point telling everyone they have to ‘put their shoulders to the wheel’ if we are then sending some of the product of that labour to people who aren’t within a mile of the wheel at all, never mind that they aren’t also putting their backs into it…

In his toughest message yet on public finances, Mr Cameron said it was time to 'look the British public in the eye' and make it clear 'we are going to cut public spending'. A Tory government would start at the centre by reducing the number of MPs and having fewer ministers.

Now, this is a good thing.

Providing, that is, that quangos and fakecharities don’t simply spring up to carry on where they left off…

Mr Cameron said voters were 'crying out for someone who's going to say "right, we are all in this together, we've got to take these steps together"'.

No, voters are looking for someone to do those things, not say they will…

We had that with New Labour. Are you Blue Labour instead?

After all, you seem to be backtracking on a lot of promises lately. Just like all those other politicians:

On inheritance tax, Mr Cameron said raising the threshold to £1million was something the Tories 'want to do, obviously, in a Parliament' - suggesting it may not be for be several years.

He also confirmed that Labour's new 50p tax rate on people earning £150,000-plus would not be scrapped in the early days of a Tory government. It was a 'bad tax rise', he said, but 'not in the list of things that we can get rid of quickly'.

If it's a bad tax now, how is it that it won't be such a bad tax when you take the reins, Dave?

So why should anyone vote for you, Dave? What have you got that the others haven’t?

On the basis of this, not a lot….

Maybe Consultants Are Worth Their Hire After All...

At least, according to the joke just emailed to me:

At last Gordon Brown decided to throw the towel in and resign.

His cabinet colleagues decided it would be a worthy gesture to name a railway locomotive after him. So a senior 'Sir Humphrey' went from Whitehall to the National Railway Museum at York, to investigate the possibilities.

"They have a number of locomotives at the NRM without names," a specially-sought consultant told the top civil servant. "Mostly freight locomotives though."

"Oh dear, that's not very fitting for a prime minister," said Sir Humphrey. "How about that big green one, over there?" he said, pointing to 4472.

"That's already got a name" said the consultant. "It's called 'Flying Scotsman'."

"Oh. Couldn't it be renamed?" asked Sir Humphrey. "This is a national museum after all, funded by the taxpayer."

"I suppose it might be considered," said the consultant. "After all, the LNER renamed a number of their locomotives after directors of the company, and even renamed one of them Dwight D Eisenhower."

"That's excellent", said Sir Humphrey, "So that's settled then...let's look at renaming 4472. But how much will it cost? We can't spend too much, given the expenses scandal!"

"Well", said the consultant, "We could always just paint out the 'F'."

Cheers, Ade!

The Wind Changes For The Greens...

Firstly, a wind turbine company gets a cluster of activists and strikers on its doorstep after announcing 625 job cuts:

The firm said it was planning to shut the Newport site as the wind turbine market in the UK was "not big enough".

Secondly, the National Marine Aquarium in Plymouth scraps its 50ft high 6kW wind turbines after they discover that not only do they mince the local birdlife...

An aquarium in Devon has taken down two wind turbines after seagulls were killed when they collided with the blades.

...but they also don't provide good power either:

The aquarium also said they had not produced as much electricity as hoped.

Caroline Johnson, of the aquarium, said: "The major problems included where they were positioned.

"The eddying effect of the wind meant they weren't producing as much energy as they potentially could have.

Back to the drawing board, watermelons!

New Labour Have Cause To Curse The FOIA Yet Again...

Former Home Secretary Jacqui Smith has suffered a major setback in her legal battle with American 'shock jock' Michael Savage after her officials were accused of banning him from the country on racial grounds.

Emails written by Home Office officials privately acknowledged the ban on Mr Savage would provide 'balance' to a list dominated by Muslims - and linked the decision to Gordon Brown and Foreign Secretary David Miliband.

The officials admitted their action could look 'duplicitous' and cited his 'homophobia' as a reason the move would receive public support.

Oh, dear, how did this get out?

Whoopsie!

Now, correspondence released under Freedom of Information legislation suggests the banning of Mr Savage, whose real name is Michael Weiner, was based on a party political calculation made at the highest level of Government.

One message, sent by an unidentified Home Office official on November 27 last year, said that 'with Weiner, I can understand that disclosure of the decision would help provide a balance of types of exclusion cases'.

Hoist by their own petard. How delicious..!

Parenting: U R Doin' It Wrong...

A boy of four has been banned from a Tory social club.

Jay Cadwallader - dubbed a ‘gang leader’ by bosses at the Bamber Bridge Conservative Club in Lancashire - stands accused of encouraging ‘disaster’ by climbing on railings, riding his scooter across a bowling green and blocking toilets.

So, why haven't they tried telling the parents of this little hellion to cont...

Oh:

Yesterday, his mother Natalie Cadwallader, from Bamber Bridge, said: ‘He is not doing anything any other child isn’t doing.

‘He is gutted and was in tears. He is only a baby and doesn’t really understand.’

Well, quite. That's why you, as supposed adults, have a responsibility to instill some discipline.

Not whine to the newspapers when other people take exception. And 'But the other kids do it too!' is the sort of response I'd expect to see from your four year old...

Aubrey Simpson, the club’s treasurer, said he had sent Jay’s parents two warning letters asking them to control their son.

‘Jay comes in and he’s a bit of a gang leader and leads the other children to join in,’ he said.

‘His parents were finally asked not to bring him in because he was climbing on railings and the heating unit in the patio area - it was a disaster waiting to happen.

‘They have been asked repeatedly but what can you do if they won’t be responsible? We’re liable unfortunately.’

Oh, yeah. The Cadwalladers are raising a monster. Let's hope he's an only child...

Sunday Funnies...

For all my readers about to jet off on their holidays, a few cautionary airport tales fron Cracked...

Just What Do You Have To Do To Get A Licence Revoked?

Now, if I committed a heinous road rage offence (against a pregnant woman), was convicted, and at my hearing to detarmine whether my professional body would allow me back to work, made a racist tit of myself by arguing with the chairman and vowing not to work for foreigners, would I get my licence to work back?

No. I don't suppose I would. And I don't do anything quite as vital as a GP!

So, why is the GMC letting this woman loose on the public:

An Iraqi doctor who crushed a pregnant woman with her 4x4 car in a road rage incident has been told she can resume her medical practice.

Dr May Arnaot (corr) formerly of Chandlers Drive, Erith, has twice been convicted of assaulting people and accused of racial abuse.

At a General Medical Council fitness to practice hearing last week, Dr Arnaot angrily interrupted the panel chairman, Professor Kevin Dalton and vowed not to treat British patients.

But hey, we can just brush that off I guess. After all, it's not like she killed anyone.

Yet.

But the panel decided Dr Arnaot, who has not been allowed to practice since 2005, could go back to work under supervision.

The panel said it thought the decision could be “constructive”.

For whom?

And whoever supervises her has my deepest sympahty...

At her trial, she claimed she was suffering from extreme menopausal symptoms which caused mood swings and irritability.

She told last week’s hearing: “These matters are entirely anger management matters, or it was combined with gynaecology health issues which have now, with time, been surpassed.”

She then proved how wrong that statement was by having a temper tantrum in the middle of her hearing! And yet they still allowed her back.

The panel members should be told they can let her practice so long as they then switch from their existing GPs to her. Fair's fair, right?

Oh, Yeah...

...these guys are getting ganked the minute they log in:

'Of course one problem we're going to have to overcome is that while a psychiatrist may excel in what they do in the real world, they're probably not going to be very good at playing World of Warcraft.

'We may have to work at that if we are going to get through to those who play this game for hours at end.'

Good luck with that, doc...

At Least Dick Turpin Had The Decency To Wear A Mask...

Ahhh, we all remember our first school trip to foreign climes (usually Calais, maybe Boulogne if you were lucky), don't we?

The coach trip to Dover, the delights of the quaint French shops, the extortion by the teachers...

Wait. What?

Staff from Bishop Stortford High School took €5 from each pupil's wallet or purse to put into an alcohol 'kitty' while on a trip to France.

They then bought themselves a selection of alcohol as a 'reward' for looking after the 137 Year Seven pupils.

The 11-year-old boys only realised what had happened when the 12 teachers passed bottles among themselves on the journey home and thanked them for their 'gifts'.

Well, that's probably not what Ed Balls meant when he ordered a survey into whether schools were 'meeting requirements on the moral, social, spiritual and cultural development of their pupils'...

Headteacher Andrew Goulding has now vowed to refund all of the pupils and urged parents to 'draw a line' under the episode.

Or, to translate: 'Oh, God, this is getting in the newspapers now, isn't it?'.

One mum, who did not want to be named, said that spending the money amounted to theft.

She said: 'Some families only sent their kids off with €20 to begin with, so €5 is quite a big chunk out of that.

It's not so much the amount of money as the principle - they took our children's money without their knowledge or consent, and I don't think that's right.'

You are indeed correct. It is theft, and it's not right.

Still, Mr Goulding did the right thing in taking quick acti..

Oh:

Mr Goulding had previously tried to argue that his teachers 'deserve some recognition for the fact that taking students on trips is beyond the call of duty'.

Who the hell does this guy think he is, Tony Soprano?

If they 'deserve recognition' for this, then dip into your own pocket and buy them the bloody wine yourself!

They're Like Buses...

...they come along in pairs now:

A woman who falsely accused her ex-boyfriend of rape when he broke off their relationship was jailed yesterday for her 'vile lies'.

Louise Johnson, 37, drove Andrew Tutty to the brink of suicide after he was arrested and suspended from his job.

Why, it seems like it was just the other day that...

Oh. It was.

Two Cases Where 'Can't They Both Lose?'...

..is the order of the day.

First, it's police vs car clampers:

A uniformed police officer has been caught on film using a pair of bolt cutters to try to remove a wheel clamp from an unmarked patrol car.

The male officer sprung into action after clampers immobilised the vehicle - being used by a plainclothes female officer - and refused to remove the clamp.

The WPC parked her car illegally near he Pheasant pub in Ashford, Kent, after being called out to investigate a 'minor crime'.

But within minutes of parking her car, it was clamped by workers for Parking Control Services (PCS).

Secondly, it's barristers vs professional victims:

Mr Challenger was in the middle of asking Mr Lacome-Shaw to stop Mr Oraki and his friends from 'threatening' him, or he’ll 'deal with them himself' when Mr Oraki walked towards him pointing his finger, throwing abuse.

The exasperated barrister, who is from Lamb Chambers, got up, walked towards Mr Oraki, allegedly put his hands to the top of his chest and pushed him out the door before bolting it.

His wife, who was still in the room, shouted: 'He’s assaulted my husband' and called the police minutes later.

When police arrived at the scene, in the Thomas More building of the High Court, Mr Challenger tried to walk away.

But a policeman arrested him for common assault and put him in handcuffs, before marching him out of the High Court minutes later.

Getting Your Priorities Straight...

The case of the married Muslim woman who has been warned by police that she could be murdered after her lover was attacked with sulphuric acid is ghastly. Words can't express the revulsion that this should happen in broad daylight on an English street.

But, say 'community leaders', let's not be too hasty!

Community leader Imtiaz Qadir, of the Active Change Foundation, said: ‘Honour crime happens a lot in our community, especially the Pakistani community, but we do try to educate the people.

‘It's a cultural thing from back home. But this type of horrible crime is not exclusive just to Muslims, there have been cases in other religions.’

Way to unequivocally condemn this crime, Imtiaz...

Quote Of The Month

Comes from Leg-Iron on the ineffable ability of Labour to grasp the wrong end of the stick:

You know, when the Idea Light comes on above a Labour minister's head, the room actually gets darker.

Foot In Mouth Time...

A comment from a neighbour on the story of the 13 year old Croydon girl and the high-powered assault rifle:

Joyce Birchington, 48, said: “It’s incredible really. These are the type of guns used by the Army, not 13-year-old girls.

What would you recommend for a 13 year old then, Joyce? A pearl handled .22?

A comment from Det Sgt Claire Harvey on the news that Hertfordshire Police are letting burglars escape a charge if they tell police their methods:

Det Sgt Claire Harvey, who works on the project, says the force also uses offenders like John and Neil as 'security consultants'.

She said: 'If a particular area of Hertfordshire is suffering from a lot of burglaries, we would ask one of the guys to come out in a car, asking how can we target-harden particular properties; which houses they would pick and why.

'They are like evil geniuses. And now they are putting their knowledge to good work.'

Not really, Claire love. After all, you caught them, didn't you?

The statement from the 19 year old police support worker at the centre of a police orgy mystery:

The civilian worker refused to comment on the allegations at her parents’ home in South London. She said: ‘I’m off work with flu. I don’t want to talk.’

Well, it's rude to, with your mouth full...

Post Of The Month

Ross at Unenlightened Commentary sums up the school vetting affair as only he can...

“All Must Have Prizes!”

Dame Kelly Holmes yesterday launched a stinging attack on the decline of competitive sport in schools and said it risked spawning a generation of bad losers.

The double Olympic champion and former Army physical training instructor blamed a culture of political correctness for making 'competitiveness' a dirty word.

Can’t see the loony PC crowd coming off the blocks too quickly to take on a darling of the sporting world and a Dame to boot, can you?

Odd, that…

Her comments come a year after Gordon Brown admitted Labour had made a 'tragic mistake' by allowing dozens of mainly left-wing councils to scrap competitive sports in schools in the 1980s.

And after that, what happened?

Well, pretty much the same thing that happens every time Gordon makes a promise.

Once the headlines are achieved, nothing:

After the Beijing Olympics in 2008, the Government pledged to end a 'medals for all' culture in which sports days have been cancelled and field sports 'dumbed down'.

But Dame Kelly has criticised established policies that continue to allow health and safety concerns to ride roughshod over sporting rivalry.

See, with the government, it’s never just one hurdle you have to overcome. It’s several, and they get progressively higher…

The 39-year-old former middle distance athlete said: 'Too often, in these politically sensitive times, it seems that competitiveness is seen as a dirty word.

'I was surprised by how many schools I came across where sports day had been abandoned. It's very important to learn how to lose.

'What you should do is pick yourself up, dust yourself down and start all over again. If everyone gets a prize, where on earth is the incentive to push yourself to do better next time?'

But if only one or two people get a prize, it’s not f-a-a-a-i-i-i-r!

Think of the children!

I Guess You’d Have Had More Luck If They Were Morris-Dancing...

…rather than screaming like banshees:

Council inspectors are investigating a Roman Catholic primary school after complaints about the noise levels.

Officials from a noise pollution team were brought in after neighbours claimed they were being confined inside their homes due to the "unbearable" screams of laughter from the youngsters.

Hmmm, surely if you live near a school, you must expect a certain amount of noise?

Still, the response from the head does seem rather dismissive:

Headmaster John Thorpe said his school took all possible steps to be a good neighbour and he had changed the sound of the school bell in a bid to appease the neighbours who have also complained about footballs being kicked against the playground's mesh fence.

He said: "Children have to be educated somewhere and there are obvious good reasons why it should take place in residential areas.

"Bearing that in mind, it is inevitable that there will be a range of different responses to that from residents.

"We have always adopted a good neighbour policy and done whatever we can to mitigate disturbances.

"Some people will say that the sound of children laughing and playing together can be quite uplifting.

"As a teacher, I think it's good to hear children running around and thoroughly enjoying their lives."

And some people will say the noise of children running around and enjoying themselves is pretty intolerable, Johnny boy, particularly since most children’s dials these days go all the way to 11 and stay there, regardless of location.

I was once unfortunate enough to be on a Tube train when a school outing got on, and they proceeded (totally uncorrected by any of the teachers with them) to make such a din that driver and station announcements couldn’t be heard, and you could barely hear yourself think.

So I have a bit of sympathy with the residents:

But neighbour Bill Disley whose house is only a few yards away from the school playground, said: "The noise is unbearable.

"People always say 'oh, well kids have got to make noise'. I've got six grandchildren and I know kids make noise, but this is unbearable.

"We can't sit outside now, we can't open doors and windows. The neighbours feel exactly the same way."

Wouldn’t they have got used to this by now, tho…

Ah:

The neighbours said the noise problem started in 2007, when the old Moss primary school was extended and merged with two other schools, St Andrew's and St Osmund's.

The site went from housing only a handful of pupils to having more than 380, as well as a nursery. Mr Disley has now spent more than £5,000 trying to block the noise out from his property and hiring expert consultants to measure noise levels.

Well, that puts a different complexion on things, doesn’t it?

This is the equivalent of a pub venue being granted a license for a small amount of live music, over no objections from the neighbours, then promptly expanding this agreement to host a Van Halen concert. Every weekday.

What has the council got to say for itself, since it’s policies have directly led to the situation Mr Disley and his neighbours now find themselves in?

A Bolton council spokesman said: "We have listened to the concerns of Mr Disley and sympathise with his situation.

"The council's pollution control unit has carried out several noise assessments at his property and while we understand the noise is annoying to the individual, it does not constitute a statutory noise nuisance.

"A report on the situation is due to be considered later this month."

See?

It’s different when it’s the council doing it, and not just some of you serfs looking to have a good time…

Anything China Can Do, We Can Do Better…

..not trade and manufacturing, of course, but we can sure impose illiberal restrictions on freedom of speech just as well, if not better:

Police have been handed 'Chinese-style' powers to enter private homes and seize political posters during the London 2012 Olympics.

Little-noticed measures passed by the Government will allow officers and Olympics officials to enter homes and shops near official venues to confiscate any protest material.

What?! Why…?

Well, it’s all down to legislation designed to allow the all-important advertisers to be able to swoop on illegal threats to their cashflow. And, as usual, badly drafted and allowing extensive overreach:

The powers were introduced by the Olympics Act of 2006, passed by the Department for Culture, Media and Sport, supposedly to preserve the monopoly of official advertisers on the London 2012 site.

They would allow advertising posters or hoardings placed in shop or home to be removed.

But the law has been drawn so widely that it also includes 'non-commercial material' - which could extend its reach to include legitimate campaign literature.

I would say it’s just a mistake and not a plan to allow the police these powers for nefarious intent, but we all remember Walter Wolfgang, don’t we?

And how handy those terrorism powers came in when it came to shutting up dissent at the Labour Conference…

Shadow Home Secretary Chris Grayling said: 'This is a Government who just doesn't understand civil liberties. They may claim these powers won't be used but the frank truth is no one will believe them.'

They understand them just fine. They simply don’t believe that we should have them…

Liberal Democrat spokesman Chris Huhne said: 'This sort of police action runs the risk of using a sledgehammer to crack a nut. 'We should aim to show the Chinese that you can run a successful Olympics without cracking down on protestors and free speech.'

We should aim to show that we can run a successful Olympics for lots of reasons (if we can’t get rid of the damn thing!) but not just to show up the Chinese, surely…?

Scotland Yard denied it had any plans to use the powers.

Assistant Commissioner Chris Allison said: 'We have no intention of using our powers to go in and take down demonstration posters.'

I’m sure you don’t.

I’m also sure you never had the intention to use the terrorism powers the way you did, but you did, didn’t you?

But critics said that - given the powers were now law - it was impossible to predict what would happen in three years time.

Campaigners said the existence of the powers was 'dreadful'. Peter McNeil, who is against the holding of equestrian events in Greenwich Park said: 'It's bullying taken to another level. It's quite appalling that this should happen in a democracy.'

It’s quite appalling that it should happen anywhere, frankly. It’s just additionally surprising that it should happen here.

Well, it is, if you haven’t been paying attention over the last decade or so….

“My old man’s a dustman…”

“…he carries out vital social research for the council…”:

Nearly 100 town halls ordered secret searches of their residents' rubbish bins last year.

The official aim was to find out who was throwing out what to help councils encourage recycling.

But some staff examining the contents of bins also classified residents as well-off or poor.

Based on what?

Old copies of ‘The Sun’, fast-food cartons, ASDA Smartprice food wrappers = poor?

Old copies of ‘The Guardian’, organic ciabatta wrappers, Waitrose food packaging = not poor?

I guess we’ll never know – they don’t seem to want to show their work:

Eleven councils in Kent allowed the bins from more than 2,000 homes to be scrutinised by officials working for the Kent Waste Partnership.

Waste was dumped into a big pile and sorted into 66 different categories, which included ten types of paper and card, 11 types of plastic, five sorts of glass, six kinds of textiles and a miscellaneous category that included disposable nappies, carpet and sanitary waste.

Not sure how you could possibly ascertain social status from any of that…

Oh, and this is another own-goal for Labour’s FOIA:

The bin trawls, uncovered through Freedom of Information requests, have been criticised as an invasion of privacy and a waste of effort.

One council chief said he strongly objected to the examination of waste unless specific permission is obtained from the householder.

Jeremy Kite, Tory leader of Dartford in Kent, said: 'I do not believe it is right.'

Not many people will.

Or accurate, either…

Obo has some choice words for these literal muckrakers.

New Definition Of ‘Rare’….

..actually now means ‘pretty frequent’:

A mother was jailed for two years yesterday for crying rape against a man she met on a dating website.

Jennifer Day, 34, who made the false allegation against former boyfriend Andrew Saxby after a row, was told by the judge that she had undermined efforts to treat genuine rape victims fairly and sympathetically.

The court also heard that Mr Saxby was subjected to 'degrading and upsetting' examinations while being held by police for ten hours.

At last, a judge prepared to tell it like it is, and to not be swayed by calls for leniency.

And yet again, this one turns out to have had form for false claims:

During the trial, the court heard how Day had a history of making up stories. The jury was told that while working at Royal London Hospital in East London as a nurse, she suffered stress-related hair loss and led her colleagues to believe it was cancer.

Nice lady, eh…?

Over at Tim Worstall's, johnb is playing possum...

We R Drpg Ths Srvs, K Thnx Bai

It seems that no sooner has Jacqui Smith been kicked to the curb, but they are quietly retiring some of the wackier ideas she oversaw:

A new police text message service has been shelved after it was used just three times a day.

The text number 66101 was launched in March by the-then Home Secretary Jacqui Smith in a £3.5million advertising blitz.

It allowed the public to use a mobile phone to text their postcode and the word 'PLEDGE' to report low-level crime.

However it has now been branded an 'expensive failure' after the Home Office today admitted that the service had attracted just 3,000 messages nationally in its first three months in operation.

The report doesn’t say how many of them were real messages, though. Bit of an oversight, or a deliberate omission?

By May, it sounds like even the pranksters had got bored:

In May it received just 91 text messages - fewer than three a day - and has now been quietly dropped.

Like Jacqui herself…

Shadow Home Secretary Chris Grayling said: 'Both the police pledge and the new national police target seem to have ended up with forces spending money on PR exercises which could be better spent on frontline policing.'

Yes indeed.

I’m sure you won’t do that though, when you get in.

Will you?

Matthew Sinclair, Research Director at the TaxPayers' Alliance, said: 'The policing pledge always looked like it was going to be an expensive failure but it is incredible that, within just a few months, the new text message service it created is down to just a few users per month.

'It is vital that lessons are learned from this failure and governments stop trying to fix the police through gimmicky initiatives and, instead, make the police accountable to local people who can really see the changes that are needed.'

Hold your hoses. It doesn’t look like they’ve learned this lesson yet.

The Home Office seems to believe that the rumours of the death of this scheme have been greatly exaggerated:

A spokesman for the Home Office said: 'This is a part of the government's Justice Seen, Justice Done campaign which launched in March.

'The public were invited to text "PLEDGE" and their postcode to 66101 to obtain their neighbourhood police team's contact number for people who did not have access to the web.'

He added: 'The next phase of the campaign will launch in the autumn and we plan to resume the text service then, but it will not run in the interim as this is not cost effective.'

Why, if it’s not a success now, do you think it might be in the autumn?

Or are we locked into a contract for this wretched thing that we can’t get out of?

Age Unconcern II: This Time It’s Personal Criminal

It seems a fakecharity has problems in the Borough of Barking and Dagenham.

A few weeks ago, we found out that an unholy row had been triggered by Age Concern’s decision to shut down all of their Active Age centres.

Shortly after that, council leader Liam Smith gave this undertaking that they would not close, saying:

He said: "As leader of the council I will not allow any of those centres to be closed under my watch.

"I'm very disappointed with the way in which they have used older people as blanket shields to hide that they are a business.

"We will not lose any of those centres. This is a guarantee."

Stirring stuff!

Age Concern said they had been hit by the credit crunch, could no longer cover rent and staff costs and that the council had reduced its subsidies.

Cllr Denyer told the meeting that although Age Concern had told club members that the council did not pay for anything, it did in fact pay the rent for the facilities.

And now, in last week’s hardcopy edition of the ‘Post’ (not yet on the online edition) a news item on page three reads:

The Chief Executive of Barking and Dagenham Age Concern has been arrested on suspicion of fraud.

Claire Ramm, 52, of Elm Avenue Upminster will appear at Barking Magistrates’ Court on July 22 accused of financial malpractice.

And she won’t be alone:

She will be joined by four other people who will also appear before magistrates on the same charges.

One of these is the chief executive of The Disablement Association of Barking and Dagenham (DABD) charity...”

Now, I thought fraud cases were notoriously longwinded investigations, so this arrest seems a little quick, assuming it all kicked off from the intended closure of the Active Age centres and Liam Smith's speech to the council.

What has been going on...?

Well, Here’s A Few More Votes…

…for the BNP:

NHS treatment will be available for tens of thousands of failed asylum seekers to ensure their human rights are honoured, it was announced yesterday.

At present, they are denied free treatment if an asylum bid has been turned down but they have not left the country.

But a Government U-turn means failed applicants who are destitute or cannot return home 'through no fault of their own', will be entitled to free care.

Which is nice to hear, isn’t it?

Especially coming just a day after the idea of charging you £20 to see your GP was mooted…

The decision increases the numbers potentially able to use the NHS by tens of thousands. But the campaign group MigrationWatch believes it could open the floodgates to 'up to a million' illegal immigrants.

I think Migration Watch is simply taking any figure estimated by the government and magnifying it by a factor of 10. God knows, it’s worked in the past…

The government’s plans may come unstuck, however:

Last night doctors undermined the strategy by saying it was not their job to act as immigration officers - raising the possibility that GPs would refuse to ask failed asylum seekers tough questions about their status.

Really? They seem to have no problem asking tough question if you drink, smoke or like your fry-ups a bit too much. What’s the difference here?

Oh, and the British Meddling Association have decided that this is one government policy they don’t want to enthusiastically foist onto the population at any costs, thank you very much:

The British Medical Association said all failed asylum seekers should be treated free - and that it was not their job to decide who is eligible for free care and who is not.

Head of ethics Dr Vivienne Nathanson said: 'There are many who have had an asylum claim refused, cannot return home and need urgent treatment. This announcement, while positive, applies to only one group and does not go far enough. '

Tell me, Dr Vivienne, are you aware of the irony of the fact that your organisation has the word ‘British’ in its name?

No, probably not…

You’d Have To Have A Heart Of Stone…

…not to…ahh, you can probably guess:

A boy of 14 collapsed after chewing 45 sticks of nicotine gum - equivalent to 180 Marlboro Light cigarettes - in just 25 minutes.

Aiden Williams overdosed on the Nicorette gum, designed to help smokers quit the habit, after it was handed out by counsellors at his school.

D’oh!

Aiden chewed his way through 45 sticks - a total of 90mg - meaning he had the equivalent of 180 Marlboro Lights in just 25 minutes.

His mother Caroline Williams said today: ‘I couldn’t believe that this gum can be given out like this without parents knowing. It is then being passed around the playground.

‘The doctors said that he could have died and he had to be kept in for 24 hours for observation.

‘I know what my son did was stupid, but if anything it proves that these kids can’t be given responsibility for taking medication that could do serious harm.’

He’s 14, not 4. If he ‘can’t be given responsibility for medication’ at 14, when can he..?

The school is understandably caught between a rock and a hard place – continue the government-mandated anti-smoking work, or err on the side of health and safety, risk assessments and getting sued.

The government wins out:

Paul Harris, deputy head at Menzies School, said: ‘We have older teens in school who have issues with smoking and work directly with Decca, which offers support.

‘This is low-strength nicotine gum and there is nothing stopping youngsters from the age of 12 buying it over the counter.

‘Decca does not have to inform pupils’ parents about this.’

In other words, ‘If your idiot kids kill themselves with it, we’ll live with that. But OFSTED might give us a bad report if we turf DECCA out on their ear, and that would be a tragedy’…

DECCA are pretty unrepentant too:

DECCA Service manager Margaret Storrie defended the council's policy of handing out Nicorette gum to children without telling parents.

She said: 'DECCA is a confidential service engaging with young people and we do offer nicotine replacement gum to help young smokers quit.

'We always encourage young people to speak to their parents and we often organise meetings with family members so young people get the support they need.

'Aiden overdosing on gum like this is the first time such an incident has happened and we are disappointed to hear about it.

'Aiden's friend who was originally given the gum would have been told very clearly how often to use it by the worker who gave it to him.

Well, yes, I’m sure he was. But expecting teenage boys to treat with caution anything they’ve been handed by an adult, whether condoms or nicotine gum, is pretty much expecting them to sprout wings and fly, isn’t it?

This incident is the perfect storm – ‘risk-free’ teenagers meet dogmatic health service policy in a ‘parents have no rights’ school culture. Hilarity ensues.

Mrs Williams, you raised a moron. Mr Harris, you are employing morons. Ms Storrie, you too are employing morons.

When, oh when, will someone invent an anti-moron gum?

More Government Advice Found To Be…

…not worth the paper it’s written on?

The benefits of breastfeeding have been greatly exaggerated, according to a leading expert.

Michael Kramer, a professor of paediatrics, claimed that much of the information used to persuade new mothers to breastfeed was either wrong or out-of-date.

Whoops! So much for ‘settled science’…

Professor Kramer, who has spent more than 20 years studying the subject and been an adviser to the World Health Organisation and Unicef, believes a significant amount of evidence behind the claims is flawed.

Really? Which bits?

NHS leaflets given to pregnant women and new mothers claim that breastfeeding protects against obesity, allergies, asthma and diabetes.

Professor Kramer's own work has failed to demonstrate that breastfeeding protects against asthma, allergies or childhood obesity.

Oh, dear. This will throw a spanner in the works of all the ‘breast is best’ advocates.

It appears that some of the benefits observed and outlined in government advice and the glossy magazines favoured by yummy mummies is based on correlation, rather than causation:

However the professor claims that many of the supposed advantages can be explained by differences in lifestyle, with women who breastfeed being more likely to pass their healthy habits on to their family.

'There is very little evidence that it reduces the risk of leukaemia, lymphoma, bowel disease, type 1 diabetes, heart disease and high blood pressure.

'I don't favour overselling the evidence - we should not be conveying false information.
'I think some of the advice promulgated on obesity or allergies is false information.'

Can we call the ASA about it then?

He isn’t going to wait around to be accused of being in the pockets of the baby-formula companies – he has some criticism for them too:

He said the confusion was being exacerbated by competition between the formula milk industry and the breastfeeding lobby. Doctors, unwilling to side with big business, are being 'brainwashed' by those in favour of taking a natural approach.

'The formula milk industry jumps on every piece of equivocal evidence,' he said.

'But the breastfeeding lobby have a way of ignoring the evidence. Both sides are not being very scientific.'

Sounds a lot like the ‘anthropogenic global warming’ crowd, doesn’t it?

And like them, the government is treating this new evidence by sticking its fingers in its ears and saying ‘La la la la I can’t hear you…’:

A spokesman added: 'The Government is fully committed to the promotion and support of breastfeeding, as it is the best form of nutrition providing all the nutrients a baby needs for the first six months of life.

'Our ambition is to encourage and support more and more mothers to initiate and continue breastfeeding, and particularly to support mothers belonging to the disadvantaged groups.'

Even though those groups pose more of a lifestyle risk than a bottle-feeding one to their children?

Jacque Gerrard, of the Royal College of Midwives, said: 'Breastfeeding is the right way to produce healthy babies.'

Or, to translate: ‘Sod the new evidence, we’ve printed all these leaflets now…’

Swine Flu Vaccine For Porkers First!

The obese should be first in line for the swine flu vaccine, a leading expert said today.

Very overweight people in danger of developing breathing difficulties should be put on the priority list for treatment, according to Professor Hugh Pennington, bacteriologist at Aberdeen University.

Wow! There’s going to be a rush for pies at Greggs this morning…

Professor Pennington said: 'There are a proportion of obese people who are so fat they have trouble moving and get short of breath. This may make them more susceptible to developing complications if they contract swine flu.

Other people might say that’s evolution in action, prof…

Luckily, it looks like this is a non-starter with the health authorities:

The priority list has not yet been finalised, but it is expected to include people with underlying health problems such as heart disease, which can also increase the risk of dying from the virus.

However, so far officials have not indicated that obese people not at heart attack risk should be included.

Except John Prescott, presumably…

But what say the anti-fatty lobbyists?

Last night Dr David Haslam of the National Obesity Forum said: 'I have heard reports a high number of people who have died from swine flu so far were obese.

'We should raise awareness of the danger swine flu poses to people who are obese, but we won't be campaigning for all obese people to be given the vaccine early.'

Really…? Don’t you want to protect your vested interests then, to keep yourself in a job?

Haven’t really thought this through, have you Dave…?

”And the money kept rolling in out…”

Money coming in falls:

Tax receipts flowing into the Treasury fell by £32 billion last year as the recession hit Government finances, official figures showed yesterday.

The perilous state of the national finances was made public as it was disclosed that the National Audit Office (NAO) has refused to sign off part of the Treasury’s accounts.

Money going out increases:

Human rights compensation claims by murderers, paedophiles and other dangerous criminals demanding release from jail have reached 'new heights', the Parole Board warned yesterday.

In its annual report, officials warned resources were being 'stretched to the limit' by convicts claiming they had been kept in jail for too long.

And the reason for this? Why, it’s totally a Labour/Human Rights Act cock-up of massive proportions:

The so- called Indeterminate Public Protection prisoners are claiming compensation when hearings to decide whether they are safe to release do not take place within an agreed time frame.

Under Labour's Human Rights Act and the European Convention on Human Rights, the convicts are successfully arguing they are being unfairly detained.

And who introduced a policy of IPPs that would, inevitably, lead to delays if you did not also increase the numbers of people looking at them:

IPPs have proved controversial since they were introduced by Labour six years ago.

They allow the country's worst criminals to be held indefinitely, but - upon sentence - they are given a minimum 'tariff' and a date is fixed at which they must first be considered for release by the Parole Board.

Once again, ministers have nodded through legislation that is now coming back to bite them in the backside:

Ministers underestimated the number of IPP sentences that would be handed down and some have been given to inmates given only short tariffs. In total, there are 5,237 IPP inmates - of whom 1,838 have gone beyond their tariff.

That’s a lot of potential compensation…

I’m Confused…

…how could they possibly be any more ‘left-of-centre’?

A senior BBC executive has claimed that the corporation should foster "left-of-centre thinking", leading to accusations of political bias from the Conservatives.

Ben Stephenson, the controller of BBC drama commissioning, said that the corporation should encourage "peculiarity, idiosyncrasy, stubborn-mindedness, left-of-centre thinking."

Which will come as a surprise to the people who follow ‘Biased BBC’, as there’s plenty of evidence that it already does…

Jeremy Hunt, the shadow culture secretary, said: "What Ben Stephenson said was a clear breach of the BBC's impartiality obligations.

"No journalist or editor should be following a political agenda, let alone someone as senior as a controller."

Stephenson was quick to claim that he didn’t mean what he obviously said:

He later denied that he had meant the comment to have a political meaning.

"Like 'left-field', it is a phrase that I use with frequency when talking to the creative community to encourage them to develop and approach their ideas from a completely new perspective," he said.

There’ll be some hollow laughter at the idea that ‘left of centre thinking’ would be considered a new perspective for many from the creative community…

Certainly, they appear to be having difficulty with the concept:

A BBC source said that executives believed that their casting of Boris Johnson, the Conservative Mayor of London, in an episode of EastEnders, proved that they did not have a left-wing bias.

Eh…? Seriously?

Doesn’t that just sum up the disconnect between ‘creative types’ and everyone else perfectly?

Ross, Iain Dale and Stan all have fun with this one too...

"..They say the sky high above is Caribbean blue.."

Floella Benjamin has realised that there’s a case to make that the government’s green taxes might be racist:

At my local train station, the normally chirpy lady behind the glass booth in the ticket office looked sad and forlorn. Her grandmother in Trinidad had died and she couldn't afford the fares to attend the funeral.

Next year, though, things will get even tougher for people like her, when the departure tax for flights to the Caribbean will shoot up by almost 100%. When I told her this, she replied angrily: "Pretty soon you're going to have to pay to breathe in this country, it's just not fair."

Welcome to NuLabour’s Britain, love…

Under the new Air Passenger Duty (APD) scheme, which began life as a green measure aimed at reducing aviation emissions, the tax will be calculated according to the distance in miles from London to the capital city of the destination country. This all sounds fine in theory, but the system places the Caribbean in a more expensive band than the US. Not only will this make the tax on a flight to the Caribbean higher than for a flight to southern Florida – both roughly equidistant from London – but it will also result in travellers on a flight to Hawaii, some 7,200 miles from London, paying less than those going to the Caribbean, 4,000 miles away. How is this in the interest of reducing emissions?

None of it is in the interests of reducing emissions.

It’s in the interests of seeming ‘green’, and increasing stealth taxes, and ensuring that enough of the hoi-polloi are priced out of the market to ensure a comfortable flight for the rich, and the people not using their own money to pay for flights – ministers, journalists, heads of charities, etc.

Our new ruling class, in other words.

Still, good luck with the ‘Is it ‘cos we is black?’ tactic:

The duty will hit British Caribbean families hard. Many of those who migrated to Britain in the 1950s and 60s are reaching their twilight years and they and their children are travelling back to their homelands to retire or for christenings, weddings and family funerals.

Perhaps a complaint to the Equality Commission is in order, Floella?

Not surprisingly, Britain's Caribbean community is deeply concerned about the livelihoods of their friends and families. They are angry at the injustice of the system, angry about the possibility that from November they will find it much harder to visit their loved ones or conduct business in the region, and very concerned that the Caribbean will be at a competitive disadvantage to neighbouring destinations in the US.

So vote! And don’t vote Green, or anyone else in hock to the ‘man made global warming’ theory.

Sadly, that doesn’t leave you with many options come election day…

Treasury minister Sarah McCarthy Fry defended the proposal, but agreed to look further at the US v Caribbean disparity. This is encouraging, but the pressure needs to be kept up for the sake of my friendly ticket lady and thousands like her.

Actually, it needs to be kept up for the sake of everybody, not just ‘your friendly ticket lady’.

Because these people don’t give up. Ever. Not until we are all, as your ticket lady put it, ‘paying to breathe’…

It's Traditional? Well, We Can't Have That...

A village fair which dates back to 1873 has fallen foul of environmental health chiefs for being too noisy.

Because we should all sit quietly in our homes until night falls, never ever enjoying ourselves least someone is upset…

The Gooseberry Pie Fair in Galmpton, Devon, sees villagers parade a giant pie through the streets to traditional music from noon to 5pm.

But the organisers have received an official warning after members of the public complained about the noise levels at this year's event, on July 5.

How many? We aren’t allowed to find out.

It could be two, or two thousand. No matter. One complaint is all complaints.

Torbay Council's letter to the Gooseberry Pie Fair committee said the department had received complaints from a number of residents about the music causing a disturbance.

It said: 'The music was live and amplified. This type of entertainment will require a Temporary Event Notice to be submitted in the future. Noise should not be at a level that causes a nuisance to neighbours or residents.'

Oh, dear. That’s going to be a tough circle to square for the Notting Hill Carnival then, isn’t it?

Or will it get an exemption?

"...all procedures have been followed..."

A mother has been banned from a primary school after confronting a bully who used her five-year- old son as a 'human punch bag'.

It seems a little stupid, in this day and age, to confront a pupil directly. Why didn’t she go through the school if her child was being bullied?

Ah. It seems she tried:

Christine Hart, 38, calmly asked the pupil to 'please stop hitting' her son Arthur after he endured months of bullying despite several complaints to teachers.

But a teaching assistant saw and hauled her off to the headmistress, who told her not to cross the school gates and to attend a hearing with the governors to discuss her conduct.

Parents are getting hauled off to see the head now?

Crikey! Hope they don’t give her lines, or six of the best…

She has been warned she could face a further six-month ban for 'verbally abusing' the pupil and interrupting a class.

She was also told that causing a 'nuisance' at school could constitute a criminal offence and that any further incidents will be reported to police.

And probably to the Independent Safeguarding Authority to, once it’s up and running…

'I am being punished because I stood up for my son when the school appeared to be doing nothing about my complaints,' she said.

'What message does this send to the boy? I don't know if he's ever been told off. Instead, I'm the one who is made to feel in the wrong.

'The message is hit Arthur whenever you like as you cannot be touched. If anyone challenges you, they will be cast out of school and threatened with the police.'

Yes. That’s exactly the message that they are sending to bullies. They know it, too.

After all, how else can they ensure that they nurture enough future police officers , transport managers and cabinet ministers for the future…?

The school issued a statement saying that pupil safety was paramount and all bullying procedures had been followed.

Whew! Thank the lord for that – ‘all procedures have been followed’.

No, they didn’t resolve the situation, but so what? That’s not what ‘procedures’ are for anymore, are they?

They are for creating the illusion of action, and batting away criticism…

Rifleman Cyrus Thatcher

A lot of blogs like mine often dwell on the youth of today and take a somewhat pessimistic view of them, inspired by overwhelmingly bleak MSM stories of knifing, drinking, mindless violence and lives thrown away on trivialities. Sometimes this is even based on personal experience.

As an antidote to that, I can think of no better example than that of 19 year old Rifleman Cyrus Thatcher, killed by an explosion seven weeks ago. The 'Jeremy Vine' radio show had his mother on this afternoon, talking about his letter home to her, written in the event of his death.

You can listen to it here (at least for the next seven days).

You can read the text here

A lot more families get a lot more right than the media would sometimes have you think. His family can be proud of Cyrus. We can all be proud that Britain still produces young men like Cyrus.

”A person is smart. People are dumb, panicky dangerous animals and you know it.”

So, while Humberside police were persecuting dumpster-divers, their West Sussex colleagues were having a jolly day out scaring the kiddies:

Some of the seven to 11-year-olds were left in tears after a spaceship apparently crash-landed and a teacher was abducted by aliens.

To make it look realistic, the school obtained sirens and flashing lights from the police and littered the grounds with debris from the 'spaceship'.

I could do with some sirens and flashing lights the next time I have a garden party. What do you reckon the hire rates are?

The 'Everyone Writes Day' - for all 370 pupils at the school in Burgess Hill, West Sussex - was designed to develop youngsters' writing skills.

It is based on an idea from the Department for Children, Schools and Families and the National Literacy Trust. The aim is to find ways to take writing beyond the classroom and to provide 'exciting stimuli' for storytelling.

At the start of the day, head Diana Goss informed pupils that an alien craft had crashed near the school and pupils were encouraged to 'follow a trail of debris' before stumbling across the UFO.

Sussex Police set up a crime scene around the crashed craft and supplied a police constable and a community support officer for two hours to help the children produce witness statements.

Let me just get this straight here - Sussex Police saw nothing wrong with spending the time of a PC and a PCSO helping a school fake a saucer crash?

There wasn't anything else they could have been doing, perhaps? Patrolling for crimes being committed? Watching the skies, perhaps?

Oh, and the children they decided to scare out of their wits were special needs children:

Pupils were told that Joy Law, the school's learning support teacher, who is responsible for special needs pupils, had been abducted.

Which didn't go down too well with the children or the parents:

Linda Molds, whose son Harry, nine, is autistic, said: 'He was genuinely worried that Mrs Law had been abducted.

'Because she deals with the learning support kids, they're all very close to her - and I know many of them were terrified by the whole experience.

'Harry will take everything you say literally, so when he was told aliens had taken Mrs Law away and the police were investigating - and then he actually saw the police - he believed every word.'

Lisa Maynard, 34, whose nine-year-old daughter Ashleigh is also a pupil at the school, said: 'She was incredibly upset by the whole thing.

'She came home in tears, telling me Mrs Law had been abducted. She's very fond of Mrs Law, and the whole thing really shook her up. She couldn't sleep.

'It was just too realistic, too dramatic. All the police, the sirens, the cordon - it was just too much.'

Quite.

And all those parents who have told their childrn to trust the police, because they never lie to you, will be having some awkward moments right about now...

Last night, in a statement the school said: 'A few parents expressed concerns that some of the children had been upset by the apparent realism, and the head has spoken with them personally.

'The school would never knowingly do anything to upset or alarm children.

'The children were reassured throughout the morning that they were perfectly safe. They produced some excellent creative and factual writing.'

Perhaps we ought to report these jokers to the Independent Safeguarding Authority as a 'potential danger to children'?

Sussex Police said: 'The police input was well-intentioned, and it was thought pupils would have a fun day.'

Oh, I’m sure you did.

But that’s not what we pay you for, is it?

Yet More Police Hijinks

This time it’s harassing dumpster-divers:

A judge has blasted a waste of taxpayers' money after a couple who picked up items of rubbish from the garden of an abandoned house were thrown into a riot van for attempted burglary.

Well, at least the judge saw sense. This time...

Public-spirited Richard and Lynne Small, both 38, believed they were helping the environment when they recovered leftover junk from the garden near their home in Hull, East Yorks.

They collected a pair of old boots, a hose-pipe, a plant, half a shoe lace and used tins of paint from the empty property and used a wheelie bin to carry the trash to their home just a few yards down the road.

But they were left stunned and humiliated when they were arrested, handcuffed and bundled into a police van after being confronted by four officers.

For a pair of old boots, a hose-pipe, a plant, half a shoe lace and used tins of paint?

Not exactly the Brinks-Mat job, is it, even if they'd decided to half-inch it all from Halfords, instead of collecting it from an abandoned rubbish pile...

After a five-month ordeal ending at the city's Crown Court the couple were finally released without charge.

And the case judge has condemned the decision to pursue the matter as a sickening waste of taxpayers' money.

Then let's start docking the costs of these sorts of wastes of everybody's time and money direct from the salary or pension of the Chief Constable.

That might concentrate the mind a bit..

Bricklayer Richard said: 'We couldn't believe it when they slapped handcuffs us and threw us in a riot van. You'd think we'd robbed a bank the way we've been treated.

'When it finally got to court we were charged with the lesser offence of theft by finding and refusing to take a drugs test. We'd refused the drugs sample because we'd done nothing wrong.

'All we did was pick up a bit of litter, we were doing a public service. We'd just been on a walk and thought we could use some of the stuff. It was an eyesore.

An eyesore no-one cared about, until they saw someone 'stealing' it.

The Crown Prosecution Service offered no evidence when the pair appeared at court and their barrister Paul Genney said: 'This was rough justice. It is a gross matter of overkill.

'One would question the reason for the arrest and as for the request to take a drugs test one can well understand their indignation.'

One can, indeed...

Recorder Paul Isaac formerly entered not guilty verdicts on the theft charges but gave the couple six month conditional discharges for refusing the drugs test.

He said: 'This is all unfortunate. It does seem to me to bring this matter to the crown court is something of a waste of public resources.

'Whatever the rights and wrongs, your defence that you have taken these items believing them to be abandoned would likely have been accepted by any sensible jury.'

And are the police ashamed?

Are they hell. They were just 'following procedures':

A spokesman for Humberside Police said: 'We had received a call from a member of the public saying they believed two people were stealing from the house.

'We followed procedure and now the police and the Crown Prosecution Service have decided not to continue the case.'

Handy to have someone else to blame, isn't it?

Let's abolish the CPS and give the police back their prosecution responsibilities. Then when there's no one else to pin the blame on for these wastes of time, they might start to act more proportionally...

CSI: Greater Manchester

An office worker was accused of burgling a colleague's home after police found her fingerprints on a wedding card she had signed at her desk.

Alysha Wilson was arrested at work, marched off to a police cell and accused of breaking into the home of the bride while she was on holiday.

Wow!

Who knew they took burglary so seriously in Greater Manchester?

Earlier, the 19-year-old's solicitor had insisted on an independent forensic examination of the evidence and found officers had incorrectly labelled his client's fingerprints.

Whoops!

Gus Gil Grissom, these guys ain’t…

'It's been traumatic really,' she said. 'I am just so happy now that it has come to light what the truth was behind it and why, otherwise I would have been another person on a list and being named a criminal. Being put in a police cell is not nice for anyone.'

She’s awfully forgiving, under the circumstances. I don’t think I’d be.

Greater Manchester Police has now launched an investigation, which could result in disciplinary action against blundering officers.

‘Could’…?

But the statement from the police seems a little economical with the truth:

'A fingerprint taken from a greeting card was mistakenly labelled as coming from a games console box, which led to the woman being charged,' said Asst Chief Con Ian Seabridge.

'As soon as this mistake came to light, all charges against the woman were dropped.

And how did this mistake come to light, officer?

Was it when her solicitor insisted on a recount, correctly surmising that your crack crap team of investigators couldn’t find their bums with both hands and a flashlight?

Well, no. Asst Chief Con Seabridge reckons it was down to their own procedures:

'It was discovered as part of the preparation for the court case when all evidence is rigorously scrutinised.

'The detailed checks and balances we always carry out ensured an innocent woman was not put through further distress.

'This kind of error is extremely rare and unacceptable and we are, of course, sorry that the woman was put into this dreadful situation.'

Mmmm, sure it was. Suuure it was…

After all, they can't both be right. Someone’s spinning the truth about how this ghastly error came to light, aren’t they?

Zero Tolerance...

...for a disabled child:

In the past, the drivers have pulled up at the closest point to the school gates so teachers can see Ernest Morozova arrive.

They then go to his aid and help him into the school as he cannot walk by himself.

All together now: aaaahhh. See what happens when people co-operate to help one another, and understand one another's problems?

Well, this can't be allowed to go on:

But unbeknown to them, a council's new spy camera car that drives around and automatically detects illegal parkers recorded the taxis while on the zig-zag lines.

Four drivers were stunned when they were sent letters warning them of their crime and threatening them with fines if they offend again.

No problem, you'd think. They obviously aren't aware of the reasons. Once they are made aware, they'll see sen...

Oh:

His mother and the cab drivers are demanding the council show some common sense (Ed: good luck with that!) and allow Ernest to be dropped off outside the gates of St Michael's School in Bournemouth, Dorset.

Miss Morozova said: "He can't walk by himself and it causes him a lot of pain when he has to walk far.

And the council's response?

You can tell what's coming next, can't you:

James Duncan, transport manager for Bournemouth council, defended the new camera car.

He said: "Some may see it as a means of taxing the motorist, but this is simply untrue; our prime concerns are the safety of children.

"We have been working closely with head teachers across the borough to introduce this and we have already noticed improvements at some of our schools.

"It is not acceptable for any motorist, including taxi drivers, to risk a child's life through irresponsible parking.

"We take a zero-tolerance approach with irresponsible parking on zig-zags; they are there to keep children safe."

*bang*

That was the sound on my head hitting the desk. Good job council drone James Duncan wasn't within arm's reach, or it would've sounded a bit more like:

*bang* *bang* *bang* *bang* *squelch*

Let me explain something to you, James Duncan.

Now, I'm typing it e x t r a s l o w l y so that even a council-employed cretin like you can understand: this little boy is disabled and cannot walk without pain.

He isn't being dropped off because his mother is too damn lazy to park elsewhere, or too damn scared of paedophiles/other drivers to allow him to walk an extra few yards. He can't. Not without pain.

Do you know what pain is? I so very much hope you do. You deserve to.

Because 'keeping children safe' also includes 'not forcing them to walk on their disabled legs because you are too much of an idiot to realise an exemption should apply in this case'.

I know! Amazing, eh? It's possible to have exemptions to your rules. And not just for trough-wallowing council staff, either.

I'm creating a new blogtag, James Duncan. Just for you...

Update: The Ranting Penguin has tracked down a picture of this ghastly boil on the bum of humanity. And you know what? It's just as I imagined he'd look...

Have You Informed On Your Neighbour Today, Comrade?

Members of the public are to be given the power to report anyone they suspect of posing a danger to children, under a new Government scheme.

Oh, just fantastic...

People who suspect an individual of being unsuitable to work or volunteer with children will be able to refer them to the Independent Safeguarding Authority (ISA) through a form on its website. After receiving an allegation from a member of the public, the ISA will examine the available evidence and contact the person concerned to allow them to mount a defence.

Mount a defence? To what? They aren't being charged with a crime, they are being accused, on the basis of an anonymous tip off, of one of the worst things anyone could ever be accused of...

Depending on the seriousness of the allegations, they could be asked to make a written statement, be interviewed over the phone or talk face-to-face to an ISA representative.

I don't even know where to start...

A Home Office spokesman said that as the scheme had not yet been launched, it was difficult to say exactly how the interview process would operate, but that each allegation would be dealt with on a case-by-case basis.

He added that if the safeguarding authority decided the allegations were unfounded, the accused person's information would be discarded.

OK, first, you have no idea how this is going to work? You are seriously proposing this as an option and you haven't even drafted out a protocol for it?

You're either making it up as you go along, or you know full well that it will have no chance whatsoever of seeing the light of day and it's just a cynical exercise to hoik in the 'pedophiles under the bed, oh my!' crowd..

Secondly, on the 'information will be discarded', yeah. Riiiighhht....

Even the curiously uninvolved sounding Liberty spokeswoman didn't go for that:

Anna Fairclough of the human rights group Liberty said that any accusations made by individuals rather than official bodies should be "treated with circumspection" by the ISA. "In principle there's probably nothing wrong with the ISA gathering information from all sorts of sources," she said, "but obviously if an allegation is made by a member of the public, the chances of it being malicious is perhaps higher."

She thought it "unlikely" that the ISA would discard the details of the wrongly accused, but that there was no problem with this as long as the information was not passed on.

I’m sorry...?

Was this person actually a member of Liberty, or did the reporter mistakenly talk to the cleaner, or something?

Oh, and another government sympathiser has come forward to support the Vetting and Barring Scheme that Phillip Pullman so bravely spoke out about last week:

However, the chief executive of children's charity Barnardo's, Martin Narey, defended the scheme.

"Before I joined Barnardo's I ran the prison service, so I know a little bit about sex offenders and the unique way they plan their crimes and groom children," he said. "What they might do while under supervision in a school is not the point – their appearance in the school gives them legitimacy, and the next time they might see a child on their own it's in the park or outside the school gates, by which time they're a trusted adult."

Oooh, good point Martin!

You know who else children regularly see at school? Other parents!

Let’s get them all checked out and on the register, shall we? Maybe the daft cow at Liberty might wake up and take notice if that was proposed.

And maybe not...

Is This The Moment That The Labour Party Jumped The Shark?

Stupid policies are legion. Unworkable policies announced then quickly walked back or dropped litter the pages of the media.

But they now seem to be going for the plain evil policy:

Victims of violent crime are to have their compensation slashed if they have previously committed minor offences such as speeding.

To put that into figures, if you are paralysed by your attacker, you will receive £175,000. If you, in the past, committed a minor speeding violation, the government will then knock off £26,250.

And it could be even more:

Individual payments to assault and rape victims will be reduced by up to £37,500 as part of a £25million public spending cuts programme ordered by the Government, it was claimed last night.

This is monstrous. And I'd like to say they haven't a hope in hell of getting it through unchallenged.

But with the feeble 'opposition' so far provided by The Dave, they probably will...

Shadow Justice Secretary Dominic Grieve said: 'People will be astonished that Ministers are targeting victims of crime simply because they may have committed minor traffic violations - for which they have already paid the penalty - while prisoners released early are being given compensation for the food and accommodation they would have received free.

'The idea that a rape victim or the parents of a murdered child should have their compensation docked for a speeding conviction years earlier is a revolting proposition.

People won't be 'astonished' - they will be furious, bitter, despairing, sickened - all those things, but not 'astonished'.

Because really, this is nothing more than the logical conclusion of this 'government of all the talents' that we currently have under Brown. No wonder he is losing ministers and cronies left right and centre.

Even their spokesman's heart doesn't seem to be in defending this one:

A Ministry of Justice spokesman confirmed that the changes in compensation payments would affect motorists convicted of minor offences - but denied it was unfair and insisted the budget was not being cut.

'The UK's Criminal Injuries Compensation Scheme is one of the most generous and comprehensive in the world. Each application will continue to be judged on a case-by-case basis,' he said.

'We need to recognise that compensation is paid with taxpayers' money and this has always been taken into account when compensating those who have already cost the public purse.'

After the way ministers have been so cavalier with taxpayer's money in the past, that one is going to fly about as well as the MoD's non-existant helicopters...

Sunday Funnies

Toys to introduce your children to the less than wonderful world of work...

I'd actually quite like a go with the tattoo pen!

Different Rules Apply…

It seems someone has finally noticed the rise in deaths caused by officers with ‘Starsky & Hutch’ syndrome:

The Independent Police Complaints Commission disclosed that 40 people died in police-related traffic accidents in the past 12 months, up from 24 the year before.

The watchdog called for a nationwide policy on pursuits to be implemented urgently. They first raised concerns two years ago that the pursuit policy can differ from region to region and was confusing both for the public and officers alike.

The commission also called for police motorcycle chases to be stopped except in "exceptional" cases.

Now, no-one wants to see a bunch of criminals escape because the police are instructed to go ‘softly softly’ (and I’d like to see those figures split into true victims and those who initiated the chase by committing a crime in the first place), but the rise in innocent bystanders mown down by cars on a shout is unacceptable, and needs to be curbed. Most can be monitored from a safe distance, or by air.

The IPCC is right to bring that message home – chases should be restricted only to true life and death situations, where the risk of leaving fleeing drivers is greater than the immediate prospect of mowing down a passerby on a crowded street.

On the other hand, if the suspect is a middle-aged woman who has committed the grievous offence of parking in a bus lane, then it’s to hell with the rule book and GO GO GO!:

Chris Tarrant’s former wife Ingrid has been convicted of resisting arrest – after she was chased for two miles and wrestled to the ground by police in a row over a parking ticket.

Mrs Tarrant, 54, had been ‘abrupt and rude’ with an officer who tried to issue her with the ticket for leaving her Saab parked at a bus stop, a court heard.

The policeman, who said he feared she had ‘mental health issues’, was astounded when she suddenly leapt into her car and drove off, despite repeatedly being asked to stop.

Mental. Yes. Nothing to do with a member of the public being rude to you, I suppose?

Was a chase necessary? You had her number, I assume?

He then followed her in his van for two miles before eventually stopping her on a country lane, wrestling her to the ground and handcuffing her.

/golfclap.

People can walk the streets of Cobham, safe from mouthy middle aged women, when PC Groves is around!

PC Groves told the court: ‘I was not sure why the whole incident had taken place at all over the minor parking matter. I did not know what I was dealing with.

‘I was concerned that the car was stolen or the person had been drinking or if there were mental health issues. I was getting no response.’

Because if you give a cop a bit of lip, you are obviously mad?

You know, the police might have fewer PR problems if, when questioned in the media and court, they didn’t make you long for the warm, empathetic, proportionate service of Robocop or Judge Dredd instead….

Don’t Put Your Daughter On The Stage Party On The Internet…

Andrew Poole got the shock of his life when he decided to hold a barbecue for his 30th birthday in a field:

He was just about to light the barbecue and had not even turned on the music when the gazebo suddenly started flapping wildly and the sound of chopper blades filled the air.

He should have played ‘Ride of the Valkyries’ to make them feel at home…

Eight officers wearing camouflage trousers and body armour jumped out and demanded that the 'rave' to be shut down.

Which puzzled Mr Poole, because the ‘rave’ was just him and 15 pals…

Mr Poole said: 'We were nowhere near anyone. We weren't even playing any music. What effectively the police did was come in and stop 15 people eating burgers.'

Because it seems that, stung by the recent criticism of their inactions in other forces in dealing with raves, they have decided to go all-out, full-bore crackers on even the hint of a gathering.

Having surveilled the situation with the force ‘Airwolf’ though, realised it’s a tiny bunch of 30 year olds having a barbecue under the sort of teeny marquee you can pick up for a fiver in ASDA, you’d think they would realise their error and call off the dogs.

But oh no:

Four police cars, a riot van and a helicopter were involved in the swoop on Andrew Poole's gathering for his family and friends.

Obviously, crime is almost unheard of in this rural paradise…

What sparked their interest?

The party was organised using the create an event facility on Facebook.

Mr Poole, a coach driver, said he invited 17 family and friends and two had not even arrived by the time the helicopter was whirring overhead.

Mr Poole said: 'All of a sudden there was this noise in the sky. The thing then hovered over us for about 25 minutes, watching 15 people eat. They told us to take down the sound system and said everybody's got to leave.

Why? It clearly wasn’t a rave, as initially suspected.

What law were they breaking, then, other than – of course – ‘making the police look like a bunch of clueless, hysterical, tooled-up knobs’?

'It was 4pm and we hadn't even plugged the music in yet. We tried to reason with them but they were having none of it.'

Oh, that was a mistake…

And of course, they are, even in the cold light of day, when everyone’s laughing at them, totally unrepentant:

Yesterday, police insisted they were right to end the party. 'We were extremely concerned how the event had been advertised on the internet as an all-night party,' a spokesman said.

Somehow, I just knew the Internet would get the blame….

I Was Wrong…

I thought the person Labour would wheel out to crush the Rebellion of the Children’s Authors would be JK Rowling.

Instead, step forward Anthony Browne, Children’s Laureate, to defend his Labour chums and pooh-pooh the claims of his peers.

And in the process, show that he hasn’t really understood the reasons for their action:

Philip Pullman and three of my predecessors as Children’s Laureate, Anne Fine, Michael Morpurgo and Quentin Blake, say that as an act of protest they will stop visiting schools. These distinguished children’s authors and illustrators are infuriated with a government scheme that requires them to be vetted in case they are a danger to children.

I have a certain sympathy with them — but I will not feel compelled to join them in their boycott.

Well, I’ll bet they are all broken up about that, Anthony.

Although it will be irritating to have to pay £64 for the privilege of being on the Independent Safeguarding Authority database, I do not see why writers should be treated differently from others who work with children — from music teachers to dinner ladies.

The reason, apart from the assumption of guilt, is because the circumstances are different.

As Phillip Pullman explained on yesterday’s ‘Jeremy Vine’ show, he is NEVER left alone with children – he comes on, does his talk and leaves. At all times, he is accompanied by the teachers. This is the same for the other authors, unlike teachers and dinner ladies.

So why the sheep dip approach, and not a ‘risk based’ one?

School visits show children that writers and illustrators are no different from anyone else — we are just like them and they can become writers when they are older. There isn’t a hierarchy with writers and illustrators at the top and children at the bottom. So for writers to say that we’re not the same as other people — that we are special, and certain rules do not apply to us — goes against everything I strongly believe.

Oh, where to start….

Firstly, children’s authors ARE different from everyone else, as clearly outlined, because their contact with children is different. That is the thing that Pullman and the others have made clear, and I have to question your reading ability if you can’t understand that.

Or your honesty, if you understand it all too well, but wish to give the impression to your readers that the protest isn’t about what it clearly is about…

Secondly, what a load of wishy-washy socialist hogwash! No-one must be different in Anthony Browne’s world – anyone can become a writer, it doesn’t need anything as random or unfair as talent.

Everyone is the same as everyone else…

I don’t believe that registering will make a difference to how children feel about us — nor will it create or reinforce, as some claim, a gulf between children and adult society. There is an argument to be had about whether children are overprotected but if all those who work in a position of trust with children have to be checked, I won’t feel “insulted or degraded” by being included.

He positively relishes being ‘just another of the drones, nobody special’, it seems.

So, why did he accept the position of Children’s Laureate then…? Doesn’t that set him apart from all his peers?

Or is that somehow different, more acceptable?

It’s that creative impulse that will suffer if we let our irritation with a bureaucratic intrusion stop us from going into classrooms.

Yes, indeed, Anthony. Trust Big Brother, never question…

Another ‘Government is Good’ convert is the ever-amusing Bea Campbell in Cif, who contributes many an opportunity for the readers to rip her ‘argument’ to shreds with gleeful delight.

For me, this is the stand-out quote:

But if it is worth letting someone check your body and examine the contents of your bag at an airport, then it is worth letting the computer check whether you've committed crimes against children before you are allowed to attract their attention in their schools.

Yup. Children’s authors, terrorists – totally interchangeable….

Oh, and yes, it is (for anyone who hasn't come across her before), that Bea Campbell, of 'OMG! Satanist monsters under the bed! Protect the chiiilllldreeen!' infamy...

More Fun With Photography…

Harry Potter star Jamie Waylett, who plays Hogwarts bully Vincent Crabbe in the hit films, today admitted growing ten cannabis plants in his bedroom.
The tubby 19-year-old actor was arrested in April this year after police stopped him and a friend in an Audi car in London.

No sympathy.

You grow cannabis, which is against the law, then you can expect the law to take a dim view. Even if you are an actor in the latest merchandising opportunity exciting children’s film…

But this drew my attention:

The officers thought he'd been taking photos of them, the court heard.

That was their sole reason for stopping the car in the first place…?

A Glimpse Into The Priorities Of Some Facets Of The Justice System

What? You thought the top one might be justice?

Perish the thought:

A former magistrate cleared of rape has launched a landmark legal claim for £300,000 damages against his accuser.

Anthony Hunt, 66, was jailed in 2003 for after a jury found him guilty of raping a woman in her home after they both attended a flower show.

Who knew all that talk about stamens could have such an effect?

But it wasn’t long before the case fell apart and he was cleared. Though to Mr Hunt, it no doubt seemed far, far too long:

He spent nearly two years on a prison sex offender's wing before his conviction was overturned.

Now in a legal first, Mr Hunt wants to 'vindicate his reputation' by bringing a claim of malicious prosecution against the woman who alleged rape.

His first such application was turned down, but he’s now been given a chance to overturn that.

Mark Warby QC, representing Mr Hunt, however, said the move offered a vital legal remedy to those wrongly accused of rape.

Mr Warby said: 'It is 14 years ago to the day that my client had sex with the defendant with her consent at her home at the age of 52.

'It was nearly seven years afterwards that he was arrested and first learned of her allegation of rape. '

Eh…? Seven years after the act, this woman thinks to herself she’ll accuse a man of rape? Now I know why he wants his day in court, no matter the cost of the further publicity!

Meanwhile, over at the ‘Independent’, the emphasis is most definitely not on the unfortunate Mr Hunt:

Women who cry rape face being sued for hundreds of thousands of pounds in damages if the prosecution fails to secure a conviction in court, it was claimed during a landmark legal challenge yesterday.

Only if it can be proved they’ve lied, presumably?

Anyone would think that was a desirable outcome. Who, exactly, is arguing against this?

Lawyers and women's rights groups said that, if successful, the action could set back the prosecution of rape by decades. Mr Hunt has argued that the woman became the prosecutor by giving a witness statement to police in 2002 and by agreeing to give evidence against him, although the charge was brought by the Crown Prosecution Service (CPS).

There you have it, straight from the mouths of the vested interests themselves.

Not exactly ‘Let justice be done, though the heavens fall…’ is it?

Anna Mills, a lawyer at law firm Lovells, who acts for AB on a pro bono basis, said: "The case is unusual because Mr Hunt brought his initial claim against the complainant rather than the prosecuting authorities. This means that our client... is personally having to defend his claim for £300,000 in damages."

Ms Mills added: "Casting AB as the 'prosecutor' in a rape case brought by the proper authorities is oppressive... If the appeal succeeds, it will have serious public policy implications and allow rape complainants... to be sued by their alleged attackers."

No, Ms Mills.

It will finally allow some redress for men who have been falsely accused of the most dreadful crime, and hopefully make their tormentors think twice if they may be made to account for their actions financially.

Anyone interested in real justice, rather than the ideological kind, cannot fail to support this.

Modern Nursery Rhymes: Today’s The Day The Teddy Bears…

…cough up £ 70 insurance for their picnic:

There can be few things more sedate than a picnic.

But a council says they are so fraught with danger that organisers must take out insurance - of £5million.

It seems someone had an idea to hold a picnic on council land.

Ian Blackwell was stunned when he received the ultimatum from Totnes Town Council, in Devon, after organising a picnic for the local community.

He did this in response to The Eden Project's ‘The Big Lunch’ concept, which is pushing the touchy-feely ‘have lunch with your street’ concept in order to ‘bring communities together’.

Harmless fun, you’d think.

But they reckoned without the local council:

The council claimed that as the organiser, Mr Blackwell would be responsible for any accidents or injuries and needed 'public liability insurance cover'.

The 63-year-old businessman said: 'And yet if we had a birthday party in the park and invited friends and family along, we're apparently not responsible for their actions.'

Very odd…

He rang up for a quote - but couldn't get one because the insurance company didn't see his picnic as a risk.

'They couldn't understand why people would want to insure a picnic,' he added.

That’s because they don’t work for a council…

Three Cheers for Dr Pike!

Is he the only honest (and brave) scientist in Britain?

Top scientists were last night accused of trying to hush up a damning report on the dumbing down of GCSEs to avoid embarrassing the Government.

Scientists being less than impartial, and trying to hush up inconvenient evidence?

Surely not…

The report by the Science Community Representing Education (Score) group said some exam questions required no scientific knowledge.

It also found maths was examined 'in a very limited way' and in some cases 'the allowable answers given in mark schemes did not reflect correct science'.

So, you can give a wrong answer, and still achieve a mark?

Who said ‘Education, education, education..’ again? I’ve quite forgotten…

But the Royal Society of Chemistry, which is represented on the group, broke ranks last night to blow the whistle on a cover-up.

'It would seem to me the public interest is being subordinated for political reasons, which is unacceptable,' said Dr Richard Pike, the society's chief executive.

Good for you!

Although the report was available online and to those that specifically requested it, the press release containing some stark criticism was unavailable.

It included a quote from Sir Alan Wilson, the chairman of Score, who said: 'It is astonishing that there are questions in our GCSEs that have no relation to science and that mathematics, the cornerstone of sound scientific understanding, is so woefully represented.'

And so long as that was based in fact – and it clearly was – what’s the harm in saying it?

Sources at the chemistry society said the Score coalition - based at the Royal Society - was concerned the findings would play into the hands of the Conservatives and education spokesman Michael Gove, and upset key civil servants.

Because upsetting the government and key civil servants would cut them off from the gravy train of government grants, of course.

Dr Pike said: 'My concern is that the civil servants in the Department for Children, Schools and Families are becoming increasingly politicised, even when confronted with evidence.

'Within the learned society community, for the most part, they don't want to cause trouble. They are cosying up with the civil service and cosying up with all the people involved in writing exams.'

A damning indictment of the creep of politics into every sphere and the influence of the largesse it can provide if you are prepared, as Dr Pike clearly isn’t, to forego your principles.

But then, prostitution thrives in harsh financial times, doesn’t it? So maybe we shouldn’t be too surprised….

The March Of The Greens….

Ed Miliband, the Energy Secretary, announced yesterday that planning rules would be changed to make it easier for 6,000 onshore wind turbines to be built. Britain's "default position" would be to accept new onshore turbines, he said.

Because we’ve got to press forward with the big green con, or the public might start to realise that it is a con…

Still, good luck trying to hide it from them when their bills go up:

Government figures show that household energy bills could rise by up to £250 a year to pay for more renewable energy, although it claimed that efficiency measures would keep the increase down to £77 by 2020.

As part of the plans, motorists and air passengers were warned that they could face more "green" tax increases – although ministers refused to give details. And seven million homes would receive "green energy makeovers" to increase energy efficiency.

Ah, of course. The usual suspects victims. Motorists (Ministers have chauffeurs) and air passengers (Ministers get the public to pay their air fares).

And what houses are supposed to receive these ‘green makeovers’? Public housing?

Critics of turbines, which can be more than 300ft high, say they disfigure the landscape and cause noise. Some engineers also question whether they are efficient enough to be economically viable but Mr Miliband said people must come to accept wind farms as a necessary part of Britain's energy sector.

NuLabour in all its authoritarian glory – the people (who vote them in) must do as the politicians want, or else…

He said ministers would be sensitive to residents' concerns about turbines, but insisted: "They have to go somewhere."

Then I vote for them to go slap bang outside the house of every Minister and politician who voted for it. In the case of most of them, that’ll be ALL their houses.

And if that’s not enough, then we can move on to all those high profile green campaigners. Put your money where your mouth is, George Monbiot!

But it may all come to naught anyway. Like these other bold plans:

The government is expected to announce a scaled-down version of its grand plan to create up to 10 "eco towns".

Yet another of Brown’s ideas is quietly shelved once its usefulness – gaining headlines and green votes - has expired.

When are they going to do the same with the man himself?

But the zero-carbon developments - some earmarked on open countryside - have caused protests and a legal challenge.

The government is now likely to confirm a first wave of just three or four towns in areas with council support.

Note that: council support. Not the public’s support, but their local government lords and masters. Who may (or may not) have considered their views…

Opponents have included actress Judi Dench, author Jilly Cooper and former tennis star Tim Henman's father Tony Henman.

The Conservatives have also been critical of the way eco towns have been handled, but say they would not cancel schemes that enjoyed local support if they win the next election.

They need to clarify just what they mean by ‘local support’.

If they, too, consider that getting the council onside is all that needs to be done, they can think again…

”… Got the morning paper and the headlines read:"Danger to the queen" …”

“…Buckingham Palace better tighten things up...”:

Buckingham Palace and the Greater London Authority are under pressure to explain why a BNP member was last week allowed to attend a garden party hosted by the Queen.

And why, exactly, does the Palace have to ‘explain’ themselves to anyone over when a party is held? And who they choose to invite?

Questions were raised yesterday over whether officials had misled the public to avoid further embarrassment, following the scandal that erupted when Barnbrook invited BNP leader Nick Griffin as his guest. Mr Griffin later decided not to attend.

Both the Palace and the Assembly allowed reports giving the incorrect date of Mr Barnbook's visit to be published.

Which disappointed no-one, except those looking to make political capital out of it.

Like this group:

A spokesman for anti-fascist group Searchlight said: 'We were surprised to hear Richard Barnbrook's attendance at the garden party was kept so quiet.

‘Surprised’? No, I don’t think that was the word you first thought of….

The Uselessness Of ASBOs…

A gang of yobs have had a ban on hoodies lifted because two of them still have their clothes bought for them by their mum.

Hey, if ASBOs aren’t shaming enough, perhaps having the details of how your mum still buys your clothes for you at 18 and 22 splashed all over the press will do the job?

Oh, but I forgot. There is no shame any more:

Police say the four thugs are linked to more than 300 crimes, including violence, burglary, car theft, assault and shoplifting.

They were given an anti-social behaviour order for terrorising their estate and banned from wearing hooded tops.

And then even that hopeless little slap on the wrist was rescinded by a do-gooder magistrate:

But the hoodie part of the ban was lifted because Jonathan Webb, 22, and his brother Joshua, 18, have a wardrobe full of hooded tops which were bought recently by their mother.

Might I suggest a handy solution?

Magistrates altered the Asbo to let the Webbs and two other gang members wear the tops, but only with hoods down.

Why the two other gang members? Did the other two’s mum buy their clothes too?

The Webbs, Jake Allen, 18, and Adam Langdon, 18, had made life a "living hell" for residents of the Honicknowle housing estate in Plymouth.

The list of previous convictions for the four over four years filled 200 pages.

Why, then, are they even ASBO’d in the first place?

Why are they not behind bars, where they belong?

So, That Vaccine Then…

…it’s going to take a bit longer than the government’s spin would seem to indicate:

Vaccines to protect millions of Britons from swine flu will not be available for several months, the head of the World Health Organisation warns today.

Heh!

Told you so…

Her remarks, in an interview with the Guardian, cast serious doubt on ministerial claims in parliament that the first stocks would arrive in August.

You mean, ministers have been economical with the truth again? Say it ain’t so!

Dr Margaret Chan, WHO director general, said: "There's no vaccine. One should be available soon, in August. But having a vaccine available is not the same as having a vaccine that has been proven safe. Clinical trial data will not be available for another two to three months."

So, not only are we not getting a vaccine for the foreseeable future, we don’t even know if we have one that will work yet.

Smashing!

Andy Burnham, the health secretary, urged people yesterday to keep the threat posed by swine flu "in perspective", noting the vast majority of sufferers made a full recovery. Britain was "front of the queue" for vaccine stocks, he told GMTV.

But while it is known that the government asked two major drug companies in June to urgently develop a vaccine, trials of preliminary batches of what they hope will be an effective jab have only begun in the last fortnight. A Department of Health spokeswoman said: "We expect delivery of the vaccine in the coming months.

Vaccine development can take some time. We hope to have enough vaccine by the end of the year to cover half of the population, but that's a forecast and it could go up or it could decrease. We can't be more precise about when it will be delivered and go into people's arms."

I wonder which half….?

When They Talk About ‘Rip Off Britain’..

…who knew the councils were getting in on the act?

A grieving mother has been ordered to take down a memorial bench for her 17-year- old son and lease one from a council at five times the cost.

Gary Pitchford's friends raised £137 for a bench and brass plaque to go next to his grave in a council cemetery after he died in a car crash.

But the council says it is unauthorised and that Di Pitchford will have to pay almost £700 for an approved one which is almost identical.

Well, we can’t have an unauthorised bench in a graveyard! Why, anything could happen…

Miss Pitchford, 43, said: 'I was disgusted. I feel someone is being a real jobsworth, they have obviously never lost a child. I am on anti-depressants to help me cope and this is just another punch in the stomach.

'In my opinion our bench is sturdier and better quality than the council's one. I think they are preying on grieving families and charging them extortionate prices.'

Yes. Yes, they are…

His brother Wayne, 20, organised a collection for a hardwood bench so Gary's friends had a place to sit and reflect on his life.

Miss Pitchford said: 'I didn't know you needed permission until I got a letter saying the bench was against the council's rules and regulations and I had to lease one from them for 20 years for £700.

'What happens after 20 years - do we have to pay another £700?'

Oooooh, no. It’ll probably be treble that by then, thanks to inflation.

Got to pay the salary of all those councillors, consultants and council staff somehow…

The family have also been told that the bench is disturbing other mourners at the cemetery, in Colchester, Essex.

How? Is it singing in a loud voice? Waiting until they sit down on it, then making a noise like a whoopee cushion?

Exactly how can a bench ‘disturb’ people? What kind of people would admit to that?

And just why does the bench from the council cost nearly five times as much as an equivalent from a high street retailer?

Colchester Borough Council, which runs the cemetery and memorial gardens, defended its actions by saying that grieving families are sent a brochure from which they can choose an approved memorial.

This includes a 6ft bench made from iroko hardwood which comes from a sustainable source and has a brass plaque attached, it said.

Ahhh. Another green con that the council has bought into. I might have known…

Councillor Tim Young, who has responsibility for the cemetery, said the brochure makes clear that benches will be sited at the council's discretion. 'It's made of a special sort of wood and also the quality-of the bench is exceptional', he said. 'It does cost £685 but it lasts 20 years.

'We do not want anybody just to buy a bench for £30 from the home furniture company that will bring down the standards and quality in the cemetery.'

Well, quite.

After all, if people went out and compared the price of things they could buy for themselves against the price of things the council supplied, they might wake up and realise just why their council tax is so high.

And then they might decide to hang you and your colleagues from the nearest lamppost. And not with environmentally-sustainable hempen rope, either…

… he added: 'We appreciate that this family has suffered a tragedy and we are trying to work with them to find a solution. I agree that £685 is a lot of money.

' I think it is time for a review of some of these rules and regulations.'

Do you?

I think it’s time we decided to stop paying for people like you to run every aspect of our lives – and deaths – for us…

What Happens In Downview, Stays In Downview…

A drug dealer is appealing against her deportation on the grounds it will violate her human rights as a lesbian.

She didn’t worry too much about violating this country’s laws, did she?

The Jamaican argues she will be persecuted for her homosexuality if she is returned to her home country at the end of her sentence.

She had a boyfriend before her conviction for supplying class-A drugs, but has since had several same-sex lovers in prison.

So? Exactly how are the Jamaicans going to know that she decided to bat for the other team while she was banged up?

Does the Home office stamp her passport with a big red ‘L’ for lezzer on departure? Does it take out a full page ad in the Jamaican gay press?

Yesterday the Court of Appeal heard that the woman, called A for legal reasons, wants to stay in the UK where she says she has found love with a fellow inmate.

Well, I suspect the people would rather she didn’t. She came here as a criminal in order to smuggle drugs, after all.

But the Home Office refuses to accept the relationship is genuine and said it was just a ruse to get her deportation order returned.

They argue her same-sex relations were merely the result of the lack of male alternatives - similar to one of the lesbian flings depicted in prison dramas such as Bad Girls. Her case is set to cost the taxpayer tens of thousands of pounds.

Because, of course, she’s getting legal aid.

Ain’t the UK grand?

She says in Jamaica she faces the threat of criminal gangs who would set out to kill her because of her homosexuality.
Her legal case is that deporting her would violate her rights to life, freedom of expression, a private life and freedom from discrimination.

She has no claim on this country – she came here expressly to break the law.

This, right here, this fannying around (no pun intended) is why ordinary people’s patience is fast running out.

But the Home Office believes her alleged relationship is 'part and parcel of a campaign to be allowed to stay in the UK'.
They claim that as A's alleged girlfriend is also Jamaican, there is nothing stopping the couple returning to the Caribbean and setting up home there together.

Nothing, that is, except the lawyers on the gravy train…

A, who is fighting her case using legal aid, said she was 'lost and frightened' when she left Jamaica as a teenager, but is now more confident-about who she is.

She says she had homosexual and heterosexual relationships before being imprisoned, but had become 'more socially confident' behind bars, and as a result, had confirmed in her mind her lesbianism.

Who says prison doesn’t change people?

Mr Chelvan (her barrister) said officials had agreed that if it was found she was a lesbian then she would be 'at risk' in Jamaica, and had also accepted she was in a lesbian relationship.

He said the Home Office's behaviour was a 'public disgrace' and had 'undermined public confidence' in the immigration system.

No, sorry Mr Chelvan, but I think you’ll find this case has actually boosted confidence a bit, despite the cost.

Well, assuming the HO wins. Which is by no means certain…

Ferrets In A Sack, Tory Edition

Edward McMillan-Scott, the party's longest-serving MEP and former leader in Strasbourg, rebelled against David Cameron's Conservative and Reformist Group (ECR) and its new Right-wing East European allies.

He ran against the ECR choice of Michal Tomasz Kaminski, a member of Poland's Law and Justice Party (PiS), because he was unhappy with a lack of debate about his candidacy and the controversial new alliance.

And he won.

So he has been expelled by The Dave’s acolytes…

Mr Kaminski is a close aide to Lech Kaczynski, Poland's Right-wing president. The Tory support for his candidacy was vital in securing the membership of PiS's 15 MEPs in the ECR. They constitute its second largest grouping.

So, why is a supposed ‘moderate’ touchy-feely chap like Cameron cuddling up to hard-line right wingers?

Mr McMillan-Scott, 59, a Conservative MEP for 25 years, has not hidden his unease with the PiS, which has banned homosexual marches for being "sexually obscene". Last night he said he had "mixed emotions" about a victory for "real democracy" over party fixers. He said the ECR remained at the margins following Mr Kaminski's defeat. "David Cameron should be pleased that there is still a Tory at the top in Europe," he said.

Well, yes. But he’s not.

Because it’s not his Tory. And he’s now exposed as every bit a control freak as Blair and Brown….

Mr McMillan-Scott has suggested that he has new evidence linking Polish MEPs in the ECR to extremism. "I intend to take up my concerns with the Conservative leadership and follow my research further," he said.

Earlier, Mr McMillan-Scott had refused to back down in the election and the whip was withdrawn as he prepared to hear the results of the parliament-wide vote.

The Dave will brook no dissent…

A Tory spokesman said: "Mr McMillan-Scott had his whip suspended when he indicated he was putting in his nomination for vice-president of the European Parliament which was not in accordance with the decision of the delegation to support another person for that post.

"He was offered the opportunity to withdraw his name to avoid harming the reputation of the Conservative Party. Despite discussions and attempts to achieve this end, he went ahead and confirmed his nomination."

You think this is harming the reputation of the Conservative Party?

Heh!

The expulsion of Mr McMillan-Scott, the MEP for Yorkshire and Humber, is a major blow for the Tories. "This is bad news for a lot of us and there will be repercussions," said a colleague.

Oh?

I can’t wait..

Another insider said: "Everyone knows that Edward was deeply unhappy that the Tories were leaving their traditional centre-Right allies and this was his way of showing it."

Something to keep an eye on in the future.

Ross has a take on this too.

Ferrets In A Sack, Labour Edition

Home Secretary Alan Johnson last night refused point blank to cap the number of immigrants coming to Britain.

And he said he does not 'lie awake at night' worrying about the population hitting 70million.

Well, no. I suppose if I were him, with a huge pension, allowing me to live anywhere I chose, I wouldn't either.

Immigration Minister Phil Woolas has pledged that the Government will not allow the population to grow to that level. But last night he was apparently undermined by his boss.

Who won’t stand for any jumped up little underling stealing his limelight, thank you very much. Particularly by appealing to the voting public.

'I do not lie awake at night worrying about a population of 70million,' he told the cross-party group of MPs.

'I'm happy to live in a multi-cultural society. I'm happy to live in a society where we not only welcome those coming to live and work in this country, but also where we can go and live and work in other countries.'

Just how ‘multi cultural’ is Hull West and Hessle, anyway?

The Home Secretary did acknowledge the recession has made it more difficult for ministers to convince British workers who have lost their jobs that immigration is beneficial.

But his argument goes against evidence that the vast majority of jobs created in the private sector have gone to immigrants - meaning local workers have failed to feel the benefits.

Who are you going to believe – the Home Sec or your lyin’….

Oh.

Last night MigrationWatch director Sir Andrew Green said: 'No wonder the political class is in such disrepute.

'Here is a new Home Secretary immediately riding roughshod over public opinion that is hugely opposed to the mass immigration which this Government is encouraging.

'For a start, how is a government that is broke going to pay for all the houses, schools and hospitals that an extra seven million immigrants will need in the next 20 years?'

It isn’t.

Because it won’t be the government when this juggernaut comes rolling down the hill. It’ll be someone else’s problem.

And Alan Johnson will be livin’ large in (no doubt) a very un-multicultural part of town...

Former Labour Minister Frank Field, who runs a cross-party group called Balanced Migration, which campaigns to limit the number of immigrants to manageable levels, was dismissive of the Home Secretary's claims not to lie awake at night. He said: 'It must be a misquote because it should be.'

Oh, Frankie, Frankie...

That’s the politician’s equivalent of ‘No, he won’t beat me today, he does really love me…’ is it?

Do You Think You'll Find Any..?

Teenage gang members will undergo brain scans in an experiment designed to find out why they are so violent.

Scientists from University College London and charity Kids Company will use a 'mobile laboratory' to test 'hoodies' on London streets in an attempt to prove their brains have been scarred by years of abuse and neglect.

And what if that proves to be the case? Does that excuse what they do to others?

I suspect the answer will be 'Yes':

Kids Company founder Camila Batmanghelidjh developed the theory that children's brains can be damaged by neglect or abuse after interviewing 400 youngsters at the charity.

She said: 'We need to change the natural argument that these children are morally flawed.

Good luck with that.

Oh, yeah. And that's (of course) a charity swiftly heading into fakecharity waters, thanks to £12mill from the DCFS...

I Should Have Gone Into Counselling...

...I'd have obviously made a fortune. There's clearly a great need for it.

But what kind of children need counselling after this:

Children at a top Sussex private school have been offered counselling after a porn movie appeared on an interactive whiteboard during a lesson.

You're having a laugh! Right?

Nope:

A teacher at the £11,200-a year-school accidentally beamed the blue film, featuring "adult sexual activity", into the classroom full of eight and nine year olds.

The teacher, who had previously taken the computer home, has not been dismissed from the posh Pennthorpe School in Rudgwick, West Sussex.

But the kids who saw the graphic video have been offered psychiatric support.

*sigh*

No, 'Responsibilities' Are The Last Thing This Man Has...

A Colchester man on a Think First scheme didn’t, and ended up in front of a judge.

Chelmsford Crown Court was told, although Steven Fenton, 21, of Gardenia Walk, Greenstead, was thirsty, he refused to drink water out of a jug that was available during the scheme, which is used to help offenders with their behaviour, and instead poured it out of a window.

He was dismissed from the scheme and as a result probation officials took his case back to Chelmsford Crown Court, where Judge Peter Fenn imposed a 20 hours work order.

That'll teach him...

Afterwards Fenton, who at the original court hearing which resulted him being on the scheme had received a 24-month community order for setting fire to a car, said: “I was upset. It was warm water on a hot day and I didn’t want to drink it.

“I’d done 19 out of 22 sessions,” he said, adding he now has a pregnant girlfriend and wants to put it all behind him.

Oh, just great...

Catherine Bradshaw, mitigating, said he had psychological problems from meningitis.

Making the work order, Judge Fenn told him: “You’ve got responsibilities now.”

Really, Judge? You think he's going to be supporting his pregnant girlfriend?

Because I rather think it's going to be us taxpayers instead...

Thank God He Qualified It...

..with the word 'political':

"I would not want to share a drink with Glenys Kinnock," said Mr Griffin, speaking to The Times outside the chamber. "She is a political prostitute, simple as that."

Whew!

I'm Sure The Guardian Womyn Will Be All Over This One...

The Attorney General has been asked to investigate the case of a rapist who was allowed to walk free from court with a community sentence - and allegedly struck again just days later.

A rapist set free with only a community sentence? Allegedly committing another crime straight away?

Oh, boy! Cath Elliot and the usual crowd over at CiF will be climbing aboard their steeds and donning their colours to bring the fight to the Criminal Justice System and its rampant misogyny any...moment...now.

But wait. There might be some tricky issues here:

Meanwhile, his close-knit local community has been left in a state of disbelief by the chain of events, with friends and family of the victims incensed he was let out to allegedly attack again. The teenager was allegedly known by police for his sexual interest in young boys.

Hmmm....

The accused boy's family - he lived with his mother after his parents separated - have since left the area and moved into a safe house following threats.

A neighbour claims that the boy's mother had pleaded with social services to take him into care, but was ignored.

I can feel the brakes being thrown on right now...

Over at House of Dumb, DumbJohn points out that not only are we not able to know the rapists name, but we can't know the judge's either.

"...considered vulnerable..."

That's the verdict of Gravesham Council on the women and children of the travellers who, having been evicted once at a cost of £40000, have picked a new patch:

A group of war veterans face being evicted from their clubhouse after travellers demanded it be torn down to make way for more caravans.

They 'demanded'..?

Well, why not? Expecting them not to is rather like expecting Hannibal Lecter to pass up the human kidneys in favour of a nice spinach omlette. It's their nature. It's what they do...

And thanks to the spineless idiots who infest all councils that have to deal with these 'travellers', it works:

On its website, the council noted it had to be sensitive to the needs of the women and children on the site who were 'all considered vulnerable'.

So let's hear from one of these delicate, vulnerable women:

Gypsy traveller Anne Scarrott said: 'The council are going to knock the navy club down so we can have more space.

'There is not enough space while the navy club is here. We are all too close to each other and can see into each others' windows.'

Well, perhaps you shouldn't have parked your caravans there then....!

Guardian Columnist Gets A Taste Of NHS 'Efficiency'...

We did go to hospital, where they were terribly nice but made me wear a face mask – it turns out you can't actually breathe through them. Once they'd ruled out meningitis, I got a prescription for Tamiflu and a cocktail of painkillers, but when my partner tried to get it fulfilled, he discovered it's not so easy to find a chemist with Tamiflu in stock, even in London, and it can't be on the same prescription as any other drugs. "You can have the Tamiflu or the painkillers," they told him. "Choose one." Back to the hospital that we were never supposed to have visited in the first place, then.

I Think He Misread The Title On His Job Application...

...as 'Save One For Me':

A Save the Children worker who led a double life as a member of an international internet paedophile ring is facing years behind bars.

He got around quite a bit, too:

Sohail Ayaz, 35, of Whiting Avenue, Barking, came to the UK on a two-year visa after molesting a 13-year-old boy and taking photos of the abuse.

He is also wanted in Italy accused of helping perverts there and in Norway sexually assault at least 15 Romanian children.

So, we don't have any low-level clerical staff in the UK (or even in Barking itself) who could do this job, but we need to import them from Pakistan?

I thought charity began at home...

Red...Mist....Descending!

Again:

Police community support officers have startled homeowners by wandering uninvited into their properties during a burglary crackdown.

If doors were left open, the civilian officers - nicknamed 'Blunkett's Bobbies' after the Home Secretary who created them - walked straight into homes.

Which, of course, they deem to be quite safe for them to do. Try the same thing in Texas, why don't you...

One resident, who came face to face with a PCSO in her home, said she was 'totally shocked' when she met the officer in her kitchen.

The 38-year-old, who did not want to be named, said: 'I was just pottering around in the kitchen and then all of a sudden there was an officer in front of me.

'I really didn't know what to make of it and just stared at her for a while.

'She had clambered through my living room window and started lecturing me about crime prevention. I thought it was a bit much really, but it did make me think.'

What did it make you think, love? That you should have battened down the hatches and sat tight in your living room, despite the heat?

Or that you really, really wish you'd bought that pitbull after all? And starved it for a few days...

PCSO Thurley admitted that she might have locked some people out of their homes by closing doors they had found open with nobody home.

She said: 'We may well have been locking people out, but it's better safe than sorry and would teach them a lesson.'

Oh, how I wish I was a swearblogger, but I don't think I could spell the words I'd want to use...

'Teach them a lesson', indeed. You jumped-up, sanctimonious little jobsworth! Who the hell do you think you are? Do you really believe that you are in the job you are in to 'teach people lessons'?

Well, you aren't. You are in the job because NuLabour is too skint to be able to afford more real police, and too desperate to massage the unemployment stats to hide their failings, so is clearly reduced to handing out plastic police uniforms to any bumptious little wannabe gauletier who fancies lording it over the rest of the population.

And why, it seems it was only yesterday that the fat waste of skin occupying the Met top job (until prised off like a recalcitrant limpet by Boris) was trumpeting the fact that 'residents in Haringey, north London, are now happy to leave their front doors open and unlocked' as a triumph for his police force! What happened, love? Didn't you get the memo?

Oh, and I bet you didn't try this on any chav estates, did you? Not so much fun when it might not be harmless females to surprise and terrorise, but Darren and his skunk-smoking posse?

Cool Idea, Harriet!

But we are going to need a test for Northern-ness in order to make it work:

The Mail on Sunday has learned that she wants to introduce rules to halt discrimination against people from ‘up North’ and other regions, and has instructed her Equalities Office to look at ‘diversity proposals’ to stop Londoners and other Southerners lording it over the rest of the country.

I propose we offer a plate of Southern fish (cod) & chips, cooked in vegetable oil, and a plate of Northern fish (haddock) and chips, cooked in beef dripping. Make them choose. The true Northerner will surely spit out the Southern effort!

Any other suggestions?

Leonardo's Lion

Sometimes, I think it's worth paying the licence fee:

Straight From The Horse's...Err....Mouth...

Brace yourselves, this will be a shocker:

Peter Sissons, the veteran newsreader who announced his retirement last month, has launched a withering attack on the BBC - claiming standards have fallen and accusing producers of being too mired in political correctness to do anything about it.

Eh..?

It's considered 'politically incorrect' to point out to someone that their work isn't up to standard now? When did that happen?

Writing in The Mail on Sunday today, he says: 'At today's BBC, a complaint I often heard from senior producers was that they dared not reprimand their subordinates for basic journalistic mistakes - such as getting ages, dates, titles and even football scores wrong - it being politically incorrect to risk offending them.'

I wonder, does that apply in private industry too, or only in the public teat-suckling environs of the Beeb and other public sector jobs?

If Jenkins is employed to make round widgets, and turns out lots of oval ones instead, are the foremen all huddling over in the corner, wailing 'I just don't know how to tell him!? What should we do?', I wonder?

If so, we've made a bit of a rod for our own backs, then, when teh bestest edumacated generation evah comes into the job market, haven't we?

Still, someone might like to point out to the Beeb managers that if the worst they do is set up Facebook groups and whine about how unfair it all is, they've got nothing to lose by growing a pair and pointing their mistakes out to them, have they?

Getting A Job For The Facebook Generation...

...is under the spotlight:

Teachers need to do more work to improve children's vocabulary and make it clear when the use of slang and colloquialisms are not acceptable, academics have found.

Handily, the 'Telegraph' gives some examples:

English literature A-level

"It's like, yea, Cleo is a player" – referring to Cleopatra in Shakespeare's Antony and Cleopatra

"He's always spouting off" – referring to Orsino from Twelfth Night

"So anyway, Viola's had it with Olivia and is fuming with her." question on Twelfth Night

Ouch! And it gets worse:

GCSE English

"Heani referz 2 poetri as wen humn xperiens cumz 2 life" – an essay on Seamus Heaney's poem Digging

"I was well bored."

"f*** off"

*sigh*

"This is less about correcting their English than making sure that they are aware of what they are saying and giving them access to different repertoires," said Professor Debra Myhill, author of the study.

"They need to be aware of what they are saying and when, and be able to make choices about their speech, otherwise they will lose out in areas such as the job market."

Who could argue with that?

And it seems that the recent fad for targets and learning only what is on the test paper is partly at fault:

"In order to develop children's writing more, we need to develop children's talking more," said Prof Myhill.

"It is not just about using standard English, it is about having more opportunities in class for children to elaborate, justify their decisions, discuss their ideas and give them access to a broader and richer vocabulary, though reading widely and word searches.

"We know that in classrooms that continually provide children with talk opportunities, there will almost certainly be a positive influence on their writing."

Quite.

Look what happens when you don't provide that...

Update: Tim Worstall has picked this up too.

Sunday Funnies II...

From 'The Policeman's Blog', a video to make you rethink an inner-city night out...

Sunday Funnies...

Thanks to 'Cracked' for yet another list of things I'd really rather not know existed...

Birds Of A Feather…

…are to be prevented at all costs from flocking together:

School lotteries should be introduced to combat "white flight" from inner-city comprehensives, according to researchers.

Local authorities such as Blackburn, Bolton and Oldham should consider using the controversial system to address racial segregation in the classroom, it was suggested.

Hmmm, according to ‘researchers’, eh? Where from?

Another quango, of course: the Institute for Community Cohesion.

Nick Johnson, policy director at the institute, which is part-funded by local authorities and several universities, said: "If you did that in Blackburn or Bolton or Oldham, it would have a dramatic effect on the schools' composition.

Brighton was trying to do it to stop class segregation, and if you accept the argument that all forms of segregation in education are bad, you do need to do something about it."

Yeah, there’s that word ‘if’ again. But it’s just breezed over - of course everybody accepts that all forms of segregation are bad, don’t they? Who could possibly deny it?

Even if lots of people do argue that comprehensive schooling (and the practice of mainstreaming children with learning difficulties in particular) hasn’t been a wild success, Nicky isn’t hearing them.

Nicky has an agenda to push:

He added: "'White flight' is certainly happening in specific areas of England. In the case of one school in Blackburn, once the number of non-white pupils got above 60 per cent, white parents started saying they did not want their kids being the odd ones out. You can understand why that happens, but we are not particularly happy that it is happening."

Who cares if you’re not happy, Nicky?

Other people’s children aren’t provided to you like chess pieces on a board to shuffle around and make you happy, are they? To arrange so that you have a perfect rainbow of smiling multicultural moppets like a 70s Coke commercial?

They are there to get the best education possible.

And if the immigration policies are making that harder, then of course their parents are going to change schools to improve their children’s chances:

Researchers cited the case of one unnamed school where 85 per cent of pupils were white British at the end of 2005. Over the next six months, pupils from 15 to 20 Somali families were admitted, said the study.

"Many white parents reacted negatively, arguing that their children were being disadvantaged by large numbers of non-English speakers," it found. "By September 2006, 60 white children had been removed from the school... and the percentage of black and minority ethnic pupils rose to 45 per cent.

How dare they? How very dare they, eh, Nicky?

Fancy spoiling your dreams of a multicultural paradise by deciding that a school struggling to cope with a huge influx of children with special language needs might not present the best possible opportunity for their own children, and being unwilling to sacrifice their educational future to the cause…

Because who could object to diversity, with its numerous benefits?

The report said that segregation reduced opportunities for young people to mix with their peers from different backgrounds.

Oh, yes. Those well known opportunities to be stabbed, raped, robbed and beaten.

If Nicky has children, I wonder where they go to school? And with whom?

Tipping Point Finally Reached…?

Little more than two hours after being pictured drinking under-age in Newquay, 16-year-old Paddy Higgins plunged 70 feet to his death from a cliff.

Sad, but inevitable when you mix teenage irresponsibility with alcohol and cliff ledges.

But this is the UK in the 21st century, and someone must be to blame, other than the underage drinker:

His parents, John and Maria, were too distraught yesterday to speak publicly but his stepmother, Shireen Higgins, spoke out to urge other families to boycott the holiday town.

She has launched a campaign group on Facebook, the social networking website, and said: "We just want to warn parents not to send their kids there.

"We are telling them 'Do not send your children to Newquay' until they do more to stop under-age drinking and fence off the cliffs."

And this being in the ‘Independent’, you’d expect a lot of supportive comments and calls for stricter controls and greater restrictions on everyone ‘for the children’.

And you’d be wrong. From the first few comments:

“Boycott stupid parents and their stupid children. That might solve the problem!”

” Why is it always someone else's fault? In this Country now its always a case of blame someone else. When are people going to start excepting responsibility.”

” Just one other thing, what were the parents thinking of? These kids are hardly going to go there to build sand castles are they!!!! WAKE UP - SMELL THE COFFEE!!!”

” Many of us regret the small group of people intent on marketing it as a place for young people to get pissed - imagine what it's like to live in the middle of all that, there is a perfectly adequate holiday market without it, and which causes much less damage and discomfort to others. But a new generation of young people have grown up in a culture which does not allow them in the playground when it is snowing in case they slip over - we have a generation that has not learned to know their own limitations and take responsibility for their own well being.”

Encouraging, no..?

TV Review: Is This Really What The BBC Thinks Of The Audience?

Sheep.

Passive, helpless, human sheep.

Capable only of cowering at home, away from all-powerful authority in the shape of the State's minions, who don't even need to so much as fire a gun to get the populace to do their bidding and hand over their children.

Yeah, I'm talking about the 'Torchwood' finale. Now, I'm not much of a fan, having seen the first season (and I only really enjoyed the episode 'Out of Time', because I'm a sucker for time travel).

But I quickly grew bored with the writers 'Look at us! Aren't we daring!?' attitude and the weakness of the plots and the unlikeableness of the characters, so gave up at the start of season 2.

However, the premise and structure of the latest one (mini season? tv movie? who knows?) intrigued me, and I got hooked. And as expected, it was utter rubbish, though grippingly directed and edited.

*spoilers coming - if you taped it, look away now*

But dear god, it didn't have anything good to say about the UK, did it? I don't mind bleak, I don't mind 'we need to sacrifice people because we face impossible odds', I don't mind 'the government is evil!' in my drama, but at least some nod to the innate cussedness and refusal to surrender to authority that has been a hallmark of the UK population ought to shine through, surely?

The best anyone can do, in the face of impossible odds, is run away? And not even be successful at that?

You are one of the few with access to a gun, so you slaughter your family and then kill yourself, without even attempting to take a few of the people giving the orders with you?

Soldiers turn up to take away your children, on rough, tough housing estates, and the best resistance to soldiers who don't seem to be armed with anything more than riot shields and batons is a few lardy blokes and one cop who removes his body armour first? While the mothers wail helplessly or thrash about (notably not drawing any blood, ever) in the arms of soldiers?

US tv drama is often criticised for the gung-ho, 'we can achieve impossible odds if we all pull together' aspect, and their love of a happy ending, but I think they understand the human condition a little better than the BBC's scriptwriters...

Which begs the question - is this how they see things? Or how they want to see things?

Or is it how they want us to see things?

I Think I Can See A Way Round This, Chaps….*

House of Commons officials have been accused of 'gagging' MPs who want to speak in support of autistic Gary McKinnon.

Can’t they just hack into the HoC server and leave a message instead?

* borrowing a meme from DumbJon

Keeping Our Streets Safe From All Menaces...

It seems council officials never rest, in their ceaseless desire to find something to harass shopkeepers for.

After the flashback-inducing mannikin and the parish magazine unfunny joke scandal comes the fake newspaper advert insurrection:

“Crawley Girl Gives Birth to Pitbull,” may not have appeared on any Argus A-boards but its appearance outside one newsagents has sparked a row.

John O'Sullivan, who owns Candy Box in Carfax, Horsham, decided to add some cheer to the street with a set of spoof headlines for the West Sussex Candy Times.

But he says he has been warned by council officials and police that he will be taken to court unless he stops putting them on display outside his shop.

There's a law against spoof news headlines now?

Well, I suppose that makes sense. After all, the real headlines can give them a run for their money these days...

Mr O'Sullivan, 34, said: “I just wanted to make people laugh because life is so miserable at the moment.

“The Crawley Girl Gives Birth to Pitbull bill apparently caused a lot of offence with five complaints but a lot more people have come in and said how much they liked it.

“Another which is said to have caused some offence was 'MPs: What a load of ...' and I blacked out the last word with a box.

“That's when the council came and gave me a warning that they were offensive. It says I have to stop and if I don't I will be prosecuted.”

When did 'giving offense' become a crime? When did we debate it in Parliament?

When did we decide to put this power in the hands of the kind of humourless busybodies that infest councils?

Mr O'Sullivan says he was also paid a visit by a PCSO and a police officer on two separate occasions, each giving their own warning.

Because there's nothing better for them to do.

A fact that hasn't escaped the good burghers of Horsham:

Mr O'Sullivan has said customers to his sweet shop have complained to him about the police finding the time to warn him when there are other more pressing issues to deal with in the community.

Roll on elected local police chiefs...

I'll Tell You What's 'Wrong', Mossab Belhocine...

..that you were still in this country on the night you kicked and beat David Cooper to death despite being a failed asylum seeker:

The Algerian national kicked his victim so hard an imprint of his trainer was left on Mr Cooper’s face.

As the verdict was read out, there were hysterical screams from Belhocine's family in the public gallery.

Belhocine put his head in his hands and shouted: “You can't do this, you can't do this. That's wrong, that's wrong.”

Oh, and it's also wrong that you won't swing for it...

The failed asylum seeker came to the UK on a visitor's visa in 2007.

He was part of a network of Algerian pickpockets operating in the Finsbury Park area, the court heard.

The jury took four hours to convict Belhocine of murder and robbery. He will be sentenced tomorrow morning.

Four hours? They must have held out for lunch...

Oh, No He Didn't..!

Good news about the police raid on 'weapon dogs' on a South London estate, though a pity the owners won't also wind up chipped, neutered or put down.

However, someone needs to go back to media communication school. Put your best foot forward, and straight into your mouth, Sergeant McPartland:

Asked if he found the seizures depressing, given that around half of the dogs removed will be put down, he replied it was 'terrible' adding: 'I spent 25 years as a dog handler and now I'm out there taking dogs off people who really don't know how to treat them.

*cough*

Oh, how quickly they forget Nottingham Police Farce's July Hot Dog Cookout...

Trouble at t’Diversity Mill…

Are things falling apart for the establishment’s man at the Equality Commission?

It was not supposed to work like this. The Government's equality watchdog – which is charged with rooting out discrimination on the grounds of sex, race, religion, sexuality, age or disability – was yesterday in the dock charged with discrimination by a member of its own staff.

Is anyone really surprised by this? That a quango doesn’t abide by the rules it expects the rest of us to follow?

The woman before an employment tribunal yesterday was Brid Johal, from Tipperary. (These things are important when it comes to equality). She was an aide to the aide of Mr Phillips. Even aides have aides in the wonderful world of quangos…

Why not? They aren’t spending their own money, after all…

While she was on maternity leave the person who was covering for her – whom we might, unkindly perhaps, describe as the aide of the aide of the aide – was promoted over Ms Johal's head. It happened just as a commission bigwig was holding forth publicly about how unfortunate it was that women get penalised if they take a year off. Ms Johal told the tribunal that she had not been informed that there was a vacancy available despite her bosses' promises that she would be "kept in the loop" while she was away.

Whoops! Sounds like she has them bang to rights. Hope she takes them to the cleaners and..

Oh, wait! We’ll be paying that as well, too, won’t we?

"There is something oddly old-fashioned going on in terms of plum jobs at the higher level," one insider said recently.

You mean, despite what it preaches, it’s as much an ‘old boy’s club’ as any other large institution? I’m shocked. Shocked…

In the next few weeks the National Audit Office is expected to deliver a hard-hitting verdict on the commission's finances, and may even qualify its accounts. Its concerns are said to centre on staff who were given generous redundancy payments when the CRE was wound up, then re-hired by the EHRC. Mr Phillips may soon face questions in Parliament.

Questions will be asked in Parliament? The place where, if you get the heave-ho as Speaker due to incredible incompetence, you’re in line for a peerage to make up for it?

That’ll be fun to watch.

More personally embarrassing for Mr Phillips is the rumbling row over his private business activities. Last year he was forced to quit as director of the Equate Organisation, a management company that he founded – and in which he owns a 70 per cent stake – when it was disclosed that it gave advice to Channel 4 following the Jade Goody race row in the 2007 series of Celebrity Big Brother. He was accused of a conflict of interest between his business and his public-sector role. It was also revealed that his contract with the commission – where he is paid £110,000 for a three-and-a-half day week – allowed him to use the commission's offices for a number of exclusively private business activities.

*cough* Smith Institute *cough*

But it seems that Trev has fallen foul of the racemongers within his own organisation by not being PC enough:

…in April three board members resigned after a public assertion by Mr Phillips that the police were no longer institutionally racist. Mr Phillips argued that the police had "shown a much better understanding of how to deliver a public service that doesn't discriminate just because of the colour of your skin" since the botched investigation into the murder of Stephen Lawrence. But this did not go down well with the old guard.

They had already been incensed by his U-turn on multiculturalism – the notion that a diverse society should celebrate the different cultures of its ethnic groups. Multiculturalism, Phillips argued, might actually be counter-productive.

Well, that attitude will never do…

But don’t weep for Trev. Like all cool cats, he’ll find a way of landing on his feet:

There is now talk that his time at the commission may be nearly up. Some are suggesting deal may be done to allow him to save face, by which he will be offered another three years – on the understanding that he will turn it down. He might be offered a job as head of another quango, the British Council, which has a vacancy at the top following the departure of Neil Kinnock who had to quit when his wife, Glenys, was made a minister.

Ahhh. Cozy…

A New Way Of Dealing With Problems?

An intriguing new approach to the problem of unfit mothers was highlighted in the ‘Observer’ recently:

"You can take this child away from me, but I'll have a baby every year until you let me keep one," a mother shouted recently at a district judge, Nicholas Crichton, as she stormed out of his courtroom. The threat was serious, as Crichton knew only too well - he is the only full-time judge at the specialist family court and it is his job to grant local authority requests to take children into care, and to do so as often as is necessary.

"It is perfectly usual in the Inner London Family Proceedings court to remove the fourth, fifth and sixth children from their mothers," he said. "Those women become pregnant again and again, with each child following their sibling into the care of social services. It's not unheard of for me to remove the eighth or the 10th child from their parents. In one case, I removed the 14th. I have a colleague who has removed the 15th."

Wouldn't it be cheaper to...

No, I'd best not:

Such numbers might stretch the credulity of those unfamiliar with the world in which the family courts operate, but Crichton finds them grindingly repetitive. In his 15 years at the helm of the central London court, these scenarios have become depressingly familiar. As has their explanation.

"These multiple cases of removal are usually the result of a mother with a drink or a drug problem, or both," he said. According to government-funded research, 70% of children come before the family proceedings courts because their parent - almost always a lone mother, herself damaged by a traumatic childhood - has a serious problem with drugs or alcohol, or both. Crichton, however, puts the figure in his courtroom higher, at 80% or 90%.

Damaged children breeding damaged children. Oh, what the permissive society and the abolition of shame hath wrought...

Crichton believes families with drug and alcohol addictions have problems so complex that courts in England and Wales are unable to give them the help they need. "Courts simply take the children away, tell mothers to find a treatment centre and come back when they have been rehabilitated," he said. "This doesn't work because these parents don't have just an addiction problem, they have a whole raft of issues, from housing to domestic violence, learning disabilities and mental health, and so on.

All of which, up to now, have been tackled (or not) individually, by seperate sections of the huge state juggernaut.

Crichton set himself the task of finding the solution. After meeting a judge from the drug dependency court in San Jose, California, he hit upon what he believed was the answer: the Family Drug and Alcohol Court, an entirely new court system dealing solely with families suffering addiction problems.

Which sounds pretty expensive and specialised.

Until you consider the alternative:

The concept of the Family Drug and Alcohol Court is deceptively simple, yet culturally ground-breaking: instead of sending families off to seek help, the support and services are brought to them. Action is swift and tightly co-ordinated. Westminster, Camden and Islington social services refer a proportion of their most vulnerable families to the court. That same day, the mother - and, very occasionally, the father too - meets the specialist court team and starts drawing up the programme they must follow if they are to keep - or win back - their child.

So, no more passing 'clients' from pillar to post, with no department ever liaising or talking to the other.

It sounds promising. But it doesn't sound like the quick fix so beloved of politicians:

In the 17 months it has been up and running, the court has had only three graduates. Although it hopes for 10 more by the end of the year, including one mother who had previously lost six children to the care system but has bonded with her seventh, Crichton admits the figure might surprise some.

So, not everything in the garden is rosy.

This, however, is potentially even more worrying:

Held in a simple room with desks set in a horseshoe, two dozen people can crowd into it for early hearings, including court officials, the legal representatives of each parent and each child, and the local authority team.

As the hearings progress, however, the judge encourages the parent and social workers to appear unrepresented. "It's astounding how those parents will engage with us when lawyers are not present," said Crichton. "Initially inarticulate people become very eloquent and open about what help and support they need to make the necessary changes to their lives."

Hmmm.

Not sure I like the sound of that…

Yes, I Think I Would, Too...

...out of shame:

Lloyds TSB declined to comment.

Cretins...

H/T Rob, in the comments...

They Really Don’t Like Competition, Do They…?

Yasmin is at it again; commenting on the case of the unsuccessful prosecution against Darryn Walker (which 'LfaT' covered so well last week), she’s not happy about the outcome:

The case was dropped and is celebrated as another important knock-back for censorship. Sadly I felt unable to join in with the good cheer.

There’s a shocker…

Something is deeply troubling about the validation given to Walker and those who think they have the right to say whatever they wish and excitedly share with others the thrills of extreme violence against women.

Yes, how dare they think they might have the right to say what they want! Don’t they realise that they aren’t journalists, just little people? The nerve!

The formidable Geoffrey Robertson QC (who rose to fame fighting the case brought against Oz) is very pleased indeed. Jo Glanville, editor of Index Against Censorship (an organisation I support but not blindly) righteously asserts: "The prosecution should not have been brought in the first place. Since the landmark obscenity cases of the 1960s and 1970s, writers have been protected so they can explore the extremes of human behaviour. This case posed a serious threat to that freedom."

Now, if champions of free speech like that were allied against my argument, I’d be shutting up and reflecting on how I might be wrong.

But the Yasmonster is paid by the word, obviously:

Hmmm. Is that so? So If Walker had written, say, the same fantasy but on the sexual torture of Anne Frank, would Index have backed him? Or if a wannabe Muslim fiction writer had done the same, would he have the right to "explore the extremes of human behaviour"? I hope the answer to both these hypothetical questions is No.

I hope it’s ‘Yes’.

Not because I’d want to read it, but because it’s not against the law to do so.

We all exercise judgements on what we say or don't say in public. You stop yourself because you don't want to hurt people, or to instigate a street brawl. There are laws that sacrifice freedom of speech for a greater good- harmony between races, public safety, social gentility and so on.

Some would say we’ve gone far, far too far down that road already…

Not everybody agrees on where the lines should be, but most know there are lines. These restraints belong to a pre-internet era and cannot contain or temper the limitlessness of the web. And yet we must, over the next few years, define the boundaries of what is acceptable in this brazen new world.

We must, must we? Says who?

Peter Tatchell tells me that lies are circulated about him and he receives constant threats. Polly Toynbee and others are subjected to mob fury for no good reason. Are we just supposed to put up with this behaviour because the web must be free?

So, don’t they have any comeback, due to the nature of the Internet?

Yes. They have the same comeback as anyone else:

In 2006, Ukip's Michael Keith won damages after joining a chatroom where anonymous postings smeared his character and in 2008 a CEO of a housing business got a large payout after a rival company carried out a malicious personal smear campaign against him.

See? We don’t need any further laws or restrictions. The system works for the Internet too.

But Yasmin still isn’t satisfied:

We don't yet have a really effective way of restraining material promoting racism, sexism, violence (except against children), homophobia, and other group hatreds. It must come if we are to make the best use of this amazing technology and not let it pull us down to a barbarism posing as freedom.

And obviously, the best way to ‘make use of this amazing technology’ is to let the State regulate and control it.

It’s worked for everything else, right?

Are You Nuts, Or Is It A ‘Cultural Norm’…?

So, it’s recommended that public sector workers like police, teachers, etc should be trained to spot early signs of possible mental illness. Who could object to that?

Oh, there’s always someone…

A mental health group has criticised a report recommending police, teachers and other public sector workers should be trained to spot early signs of mental illness, saying it could marginalise those of black and minority ethnic backgrounds.

How, exactly?

The group claims that, if implemented, the recommendation could increase the chances of people from black and minority ethnic backgrounds being misdiagnosed by amateurs with no professional mental health credentials and lead to further stigmatisation.

Surely, it could increase the chances of everyone, not just black and minority people?

"There are grave concerns over the suggestion that the police or teachers should be trained in spotting signs of mental ill health," said Matilda MacAttram, of BMHUK. "Currently black men are six times more likely to be stopped and searched than their white counterparts, as such it is unwise to suggest that the police should be responsible for spotting signs of mental ill health. It could lead to catastrophic results."

Yes, really catastrophic. It could mean that people who need help will get it sooner. How terrible…

But finally, we get to the meat of their concerns:

"There is a real danger that cultural norms could be misconstrued, which could have disastrous consequences for a child's educational career," she added.

No, I’ve no clue what ‘cultural norms’ happen to just look like insanity, and there’s nothing in this article to give anyone a clue.

Politicians Don't Possess These, Peter...

Peter Hitchens on the New Tory Gayness:

Forgive them for what? Section 28 resulted from a fuss over the appearance of books aimed at children, intended to spread the view that single-sex couples could bring up children without any disadvantage to those children.

I still remember the titles: ‘Jenny Lives With Eric And Martin’ and ‘Heather Has Two Mommies’.

Less than 25 years ago, only revolutionaries such as Ken Livingstone endorsed this sort of thing.

Yes, but that was before he found himself between a rock and a hard place, cozying up to such notoriously ungay-friendly characters as Quaradawi.

Politicians, eh? So fickle…

Nowadays, opinion formers and MPs have been scared into conformity, and the unhappy majority have learned to keep quiet about their concerns, for fear of the Thought Police.

This supposedly wicked law was little more than an expression of opinion by Parliament.

Nobody was ever prosecuted under its provisions. Try as they may, the homosexual liberation movement have never produced evidence of any martyrdoms resulting from it.

That hasn’t stopped them from regarding it as the worst disaster to befall the UK since Take That broke up though…

How far into the swamp will the Tories allow Mr Cameron to lead them before they realise what he is?

Peter, Peter, Peter…

They know full well what he is. They don’t care, because he’ll lead them to the promised land of government, and power for its own sake.

Principles? Who believes in them any more?

'Rare'. Sure...

Oh look!

And we were just discussing, over at Tim Worstall's site, how hapless lefty 'johnb' thinks these only come along once every six months...

Crying Wolf….?

This is in most newspapers today:

Scotland Yard's counter-terrorism command fears that right-wing extremists will stage a deadly terrorist attack in Britain to try to stoke racial tensions, the Guardian has learned.

Yes, there’s a lot to fear from the cunning, ninja-like warriors of the extreme right…

Senior officers say it will be a "spectacular" that is designed to kill. The counter-terrorism unit has redeployed officers to increase its monitoring of the extreme right's potential to stage attacks.

I don’t think it’s going to take Sherlock Holmes to monitor these blundering incompetents, is it?

So why the sudden concern?

Commander Shaun Sawyer told a meeting of British Muslims concerned about the danger to their communities that police were responding to the growing threat.

Ah. Now it’s all clear…

Sawyer revealed that the Met commissioner, Sir Paul Stephenson, had asked the counter-terrorism command, SO15, to examine what the economic downturn would mean for far-right violence. The assessment concluded that the recession would increase the possibility of it.

I’m a little confused here. Why would an economic downturn only fuel ‘right wing’ violence? Isn’t everyone likely to be affected by it equally?

Sources have told the Guardian that while they believe the neo-Nazi terrorist threat has grown, they have no specific intelligence of an attack.

But they plan to ramp up the rhetoric anyway. Why not?

There might, after all, be brownie points in it:

"There is an increased possibility of violence from the far right. There is a trend," said one senior source, adding that the ideology of the violent right was driven by "people who don't like immigration, people who don't like Islam. We're seeing a resurgence of anti-semitism as well."

So, not ‘liking’ something is now akin to ‘extremism, is it? Hmm, I wonder where they got that idea from?

And I wonder if the rise in anti-semitism is caused by the right-wing extremists, or the left…?

The meeting at which Sawyer spoke was staged by the Muslim Safety Forum, whose chair, Abdurahman Jafar, said: "Muslims are the first line of victims in the extreme right's campaign of hate and division and they make no secret about that. Statistics show a strong correlation between the rise of racist and Islamophobic hate crime and the ascendancy of the BNP."

So how much of a threat is this really?

Well, they have to go back over ten years to find the last real threat:

It is a decade since an extreme rightwing terrorist has used bombs to claim lives in Britain. In 1999, David Copeland struck three targets in London. His attack on a gay pub in Soho, London, killed three people and left scores injured.

So far, the erstwhile successors to Copeland have proven themselves to be hopeless underachievers.

But times have changed:

The senior source said: "When Copeland attacked we did not have the religious tensions with the Muslim community. What kind of schism would a Copeland-type event cause now?"

Oh, absolutely! I remember when the 7/7 atrocity and its follow-up brought white Christian people out onto the streets, burning and looting Muslim shops and homes in an orgy of viole..

What’s that you say? It didn’t happen?

How odd.

Update: Predictably, prize tit and media go-to boy for all things 'effnik' Sunny Hundal is wetting his knickers, wailing 'OMG! OMG! The rightwingers are coming! Flee! Flee for your lives!'

What's the phrase that springs to mind when I read this drivel?

Ah, yes. 'Useful idiot'...

Water, Water Everywhere...

...and what an opportunity for snooping and control freakery:

Swimming pool owners, those with large gardens and those in areas prone to droughts should be moved onto water meters as a matter of urgency, with companies using satellite images from Google Earth and aerial photographs to ascertain heavy water users.

These are just some of the recommendations put forward by Anna Walker, a leading civil servant, in her 220-page interim report into domestic water bills, commissioned by the Department for the Environment.

You can just imaging her little heart swelling with delight at the thought of commanding all that power, can't you?

And don't think it's just millionaires who have to look up anxiously in the sky - she has plans for everyone:

Every household in Britain should eventually be moved onto a water meter, at cost of £3 billion. (Ed: Yes, that's three more billion we haven't got..)

Lavatories with large cisterns and large shower heads should be banned from being sold.

Domestic appliances should carry water efficiency labels, with the least efficient washing machines and dishwashers outlawed.

But, you say, aren't we a notoriously wet island, surrounded by water?

Yes. And don't think that makes a difference:

A spokesman for Anna Walker said: "This should be seen as a wake up call. Water is going to become much more scarce in summer because of climate change, and the population is increasing.

"We either spend billions on desalination plants and building extra water storage, or we do something about saving water now."

Well, if we're going to 'spend billions' anyway, it might as well be on the desalination plants and water storage, shouldn't it? That's the sensible thing to...

Oh. What's that?

Ah, right. Of course. That doesn't give the State the opportunity it desires to employ even more people and poke their noses even more into our private lives than they already are doing...

Shooting SuspendingThe Messenger...

Dinnerlady Carol Hill did what any concerned adult working with children would do when she saw a seven-year-old pupil tied up and whipped with her own skipping rope by bullies.

(Well, maybe not this one, who would have thought all her birthdays had come at once...)

And when she found out, after talking to the girl's mother, that the school had lied by omission about the reason for her injuries, she gave the mother the details.

And for that, she's been suspended:

Mrs Hill has been suspended on suspicion of gross misconduct, because the school says she should not have discussed a pupil outside of school.

Yes, even to the child's own mother.

What, you thought it was your business because it was your child? Oh, no. It's the state's child while under the 'care' of the school system, and never will they let you forget it:

Mrs Scott, also mum to 12-year-old Joshua and one-year-old Oliver, said the form sent home did not inform them their daughter had been tied up.

She was angry she had not been invited to school to discuss what had happened, even though the parents of those accused had been.

Which rings all sorts of alarm bells.

Mr David said he had informed police.

Oooh, careful! That could get your children taken away, if the police and SS decide you are a mental case as a result....

In a prepared statement, headteacher Debbie Crabb said: “We can confirm that an incident took place during lunchtime in school last week.

“The matter is being dealt with internally in accordance with our behavioural policy and all the relevant parties have been informed.

“It would not be appropriate to discuss this in any further detail.”

Hmm, I wonder if 'in accordance with our behavioural policy' means that they decided to try some trendy, unworkable policy in lieu of any actual punishment for the little thugs?

Reality Vs Entertainment...

Mr Nuhu said he felt let down by the emergency services, which took an hour and a half to reach them.

'I was expecting things like a helicopter (to) come and drop a ladder or commando-type rescuer,' he said.

No doubt the enquiry will highlight many, many deficiencies in design, etc.

Let's hope it also highlights what residents can do for themselves in an emergency, instead of relying on frequently overburdened and underequipped emergency services...

Child Snatching - It Really Happens

Plato highlights this utterly astonishing move by the police and social services to remove a couple's children because their father was concerned about possible danger of kidnap and had requested that their school allow him to drive into the school grounds to pick them up:

He was driven by a policeman to a nearby mental hospital where he was told that, because of "a number of concerns", he was being detained under Section 136 of the Mental Health Act and "sectioned" under S.2 as of "unsound mind". His wife, it turned out, had been similarly arrested, for loudly protesting at the handcuffing of her husband and the forcible seizing from her arms of her young son. The three children had been taken into care by social services.

So, that's teachers, social workers and police, all utterly ignorant of the fact that this man was indeed who he claimed to be - related to various European royal families and with a brother who is a senior Army officer seconded to the UN - and who regarded his concern for his children as grounds to lock him up!

But surely, you say, there are safeguards in the Mental Health Act, and the magistrates wouldn't allow this? Well, yes. And no:

The chief magistrate, it later emerged, was chairman of the trustees of the mental hospital in which he was being detained.

And that isn't considered a conflict of interest?

The mental health tribunal heard his story and gave him a complete discharge. However, the SS weren't about to give up so easily:

Despite the finding of the tribunal, the social workers have remained determined to hold on to the children, with a view to their care being determined in a county court on Wednesday.

Heads should roll for this.

The only reason offered in these documents for the abduction of the children is Mr Jones's "delusional belief system" that special care should be taken of his children because of their elevated family connections.

Excellent!

That gives us ground to lock up and remove the children of all those MPs who voted for their children, and the children of celebrities, to be exempt from the child database then, does it?

/facepalm

Children as young as five should be taught about evolution to prevent them mistaking Barney the Dinosaur and Fred Flintstone for scientific fact, an academic has claimed

What kind of 'academic' is this?

Should we teach five year olds about Formula One as well, in case they grow up thinking you can enter with a car shaped like a boulder?

Oh, and a session on the First World War wouldn't come amiss, to drum out of them the idea that dogs were an integral part of aerial combat against carrier pigeons...

James Williams, lecturer in education at Sussex University, says that letting pupils believe dinosaurs and humans lived together plays into the hands of creationists.

They're five, for the love of god! Can't they just be kids for a while first?

He warned that creationists - who claim that God created the world and all its animals in six days - go to great lengths to influence children with comics and videos that mix scientific misconceptions with proper science.

Yes, they sound like wackos, prof.

But you know what? So do you...

Sunday Funnies (Extra)

For the 'Star Wars' fan in your life, something they won't want to be without...

Sunday Funnies II...

see more Political Pictures

Sunday Funnies...

Just to even the balance between 'dumb public services' and 'canny private companies', here's a few that weren't quite so canny....

Is It The Heat...?

Or has Bernie Ecclestone been sniffing the petrol?

Formula One chief Bernie Ecclestone last night provoked outrage by praising the policies of Adolf Hitler in an extraordinary interview.

The 78-year-old billionaire criticised modern politicians as 'weak' and praised the former Nazi leader's ability to 'get things done'.

They Don't Build Very Sturdy Lampposts...

...in Ferndown, Dorset:

Council chiefs fear stringing up the tiny, colourful plastic flags between sturdy metal posts could make the columns topple over and injure people.

No, it's not April 1st again. They claim this really could happen:

Rod Mainstone, Dorset County Council’s street lighting manager, sent guidance notes to town and parish councils which stated: ‘Street lighting columns are not generally designed to be strong enough to support any additional attachments.

‘Even relatively light additions such as a small sign can lead to considerable extra load being imposed on a column in strong wind.

‘Furthermore, internal corrosion, which cannot be seen, may have weakened the column and the additional load could lead to it collapsing.’

If your lamposts are so weak a bit of bunting will bring them down, are the residents of Ferndown safe as they walk the streets?

A Dorset County Council spokesman said the note was sent because it was risky attaching signs, banners or advertising to street lighting as some older columns may be in a worn structural condition.

‘Bunting hung between street lighting columns that stand close to the road can sag and become entangled in passing traffic, such as buses and lorries,’ the spokesman added.

I hope they are strong enough to support the weight of all those useless 'elf and safety 'experts' and pointless council staff someday...

Armageddon: Canvey

Energy company Calor has moved to allay residents’ fears after campaigners claimed Canvey could suffer a similar gas explosion to the one that killed at least 14 people in Italy.

This must be some new definition of ‘similar’ that actually means ‘nothing like it’…

A massive explosion caused houses to collapse trapping people in the rubble when a train carrying liquid petroleum gas exploded after it derailed near Pisa.

The accident has prompted fears a similar disaster could happen at the island’s Calor gas terminal, which is under investigation by the Government following a leak of 163-tonnes of liquid petroleum gas at the site last October.

Not, you&#