Of course, I bought one. Because I love kitchen gadgets, but more than that, I love the smell of hot, just-baked bread, but I can't be bothered with the lengthy kneading and proving process necessary to make it.
So I got home, unwrapped my prize, read the instructions, and set to work. Added all the ingredients, set it off, and waited. Time's up, and the loaf is turned out. A thick slice is cut when it's cooled down, loaded up with butter, and yum!
Actually, no. It was ghastly. I was mortified! And I looked again at the recipe that came with the machine.
Oh. Right. A teaspoon of salt. Not a tablespoon. Whoops! A lesson learned in reading the instructions a little more carefully.
So, just how is it that in this story, the only thing affected by the chef's claimed disability was apparently the sell-by dates?
That's some amazingly convenient dyslexia....
9 comments:
"A teaspoon of salt. Not a tablespoon."
ROFLMAO....
What's your problem, Julia? Didn't you know that dyslexia also affects sight, so the chef couldn't see the flies or the mould, and possibly the sense of smell, so he couldn't detect rotten food? Presumably now, the proprietors spend all their time in the kitchen, even through the night, colour coding everything in the kitchen for the name of each product and its use-by date so their chef can cook properly. Obviously he can't read words like "self raising, plain, salt, sugar, baking powder, cornflour, strong flour etc, so it's to be hoped that he can detect the tiny variations in colour and remember what all the colours mean, when so many colours will be needed to label all the products in the kitchen, and to keep up with the constantly changing use-by dates.
I hope he isn't colour blind.
I have a friend who has two degrees despite being dyslexic. We spent a very fraustraiting summer trying to crack a method to help him cope with algebra, which basicly involved him drawing shapes around parts of equations to keep them apart in his mind. He works very hard to manage his dyslexia and to the best of my knowledge has never been foxed by a sell by date.
PT nails it. Sell-by dates are bollocks (as a Cracked.com column reminded us recently). But if you take a sniff of something and recoil in disgust then an inability to parse 'best before five months ago' is by-the-by.
And yes, the colour-coding is stuff and nonsense too. Dyslexia affects pattern recognition in general, not just reading, so it's substituting one cognitively-challenging process for another.
Interesting - there's a fifteen quid 'victim surcharge' as part of the fine against the owners.
But who was the victim here?
I would definitely give the Soupe de Poisson a miss. - and the spotted dick.....
"...dyslexics of the world, untie!"
"ROFLMAO...."
I know! It was horrible.
"Presumably now, the proprietors spend all their time in the kitchen, even through the night, colour coding everything in the kitchen for the name of each product and its use-by date so their chef can cook properly."
As WoaR points out, next time they get caught, will the excuse be that he's developed colour-blindness?
"...so it's substituting one cognitively-challenging process for another."
Indeed. Can't expect the magistrates to do a bit of research though. Too much like hard work.
"Interesting - there's a fifteen quid 'victim surcharge' as part of the fine against the owners.
But who was the victim here?"
Good point. The victim surcharge is a pointless extra 'fine' - probably costs more to administer than it recoups.
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