Tuesday, 22 February 2011

I Guess Someone At Durham Council Has Seen ‘Caddyshack’…

Durham County Council has invested in more mole traps after complaints about an infestation in Weardale, County Durham.

But before the traps could be deployed, officers insisted on organising a health and safety assessment.
/facepalm
Councillor Shuttleworth said: “This is health and safety gone totally mad. How can you carry out a risk assessment before catching moles?

They’re not going to bite you if you know what you are doing.

“There is a local man I told the council about, who has been catching moles for 30 years but, apparently, he doesn’t have the necessary paper qualifications.”
OMG!” An unlicensed moletrapper! He must feel like such an outlaw in Durham, the mole equivalent of Captain Quint from ‘Jaws’...

The council, of course, takes this seriously, and refutes arguments that this is plain bonkers:
James Bennett, the county council’s Streetscene manager, said: “We have to ensure we have adhered to legislation and have a rigid system in place for the control of moles.

“As a minimum qualification, all our pest control officers are trained, or receiving ongoing training, to give them the knowledge of all legislation , guidelines, animal welfare and health and safety issues they need to adhere to.

“However, we believe the gentleman referred to by Coun Shuttleworth uses methods which are not recommended under the legislation.

He was not able to confirm that he had the required knowledge of the pest control legislation.

“If he could do this then we could review the situation.”
*sigh*

If he could do that, no-one would bother to hire him, other than the council, who has money to waste…

13 comments:

William said...

Why would the 30 year time served molecatcher want to work for the fcukwits that are on the council?

.

Mike Cunningham said...

JuliaM,

I am shocked, nay, even surprised, at your lack of empathy with people who are 'only doing their jobs'!

I mean, without the gang at Durham County Council and their 'best endeavours', we could possibly be witness to random, unlicensed attacks on moles, and we couldn't have that now, could we?

Captain Haddock said...

This sounds like just the job for a much-loved and of late, somewhat under employed Wireless personality ..

Surely, Durham County Council have heard of Dame Celia Molestrangler .. of "Round The Horne" fame ? ..

Then again .. maybe not.

Kevin B said...

Guy probably hasn't had any diversity training either. Might say something 'insensitive' like "Come 'ere you little black bastard." to some poor innocent little mole.

Chalcedon said...

This vicious moleism has to be stamped out.

microdave said...

"Poor innocent little mole." - You're joking, aren't you?? Have you seen that damage a mole can do?

"Little black bastard" doesn't even begin to describe my hatred of them...

Amazingly they are supposed to be on the endangered species list, all I can say to that is "Not round here, they're not!"

Fur flying said...

"Amazingly they are supposed to be on the endangered species list"

They are very much on an endangered list if you catch them properly with the flat of a spade.

selsey.steve said...

A couple of years ago I picked up a young dog at a Rescue Centre to replace (after a few months) a much-loved, but now deceased pet. The young 'un looked like he had some terrier in him and he was very perky.
Turns out he's a world-class ratter and mole hunter. After dusk, he trots about a lawn covered in mole hills and suddenly stops, cocks his head to one side then digs like fury. He almost always ends up with a black velvet corpse in his mouth.
He gets me free beer at the local golf course.

Hexe said...

It's always been dangerous business:

http://www.rivertext.com/mole_fr.shtml

JuliaM said...

"...without the gang at Durham County Council and their 'best endeavours', we could possibly be witness to random, unlicensed attacks on moles..."

It's for our own good.. ;)

"They are very much on an endangered list if you catch them properly with the flat of a spade."

:D

"Turns out he's a world-class ratter and mole hunter. "

You could have made a fortune in Durham! Once you'd done all the courses...

"It's always been dangerous business..."

:D

stanfordrivers said...

"he doesn’t have the necessary paper qualifications.”

I'm sure the OU has a course for this - "A234 Social and Environmantal Impacts of Mole Trapping".

Eddie Willers said...

And just what, pray enlighten me in the name of all that is sacred, holy and most pious, is a 'Streetscene Manager'

FFS!

FrankC said...

I thought the only test/qualification for a mole catcher was wearing moleskin trousers. If he's wearing the matching waistcoat then he's a master of his trade.