You won't see me coming....
Way to go Evening Standard, the worst thing is, it should have been spotted by a sub editor, but I doubt they use them these days.
Homeowners, Mr and Mrs Andy Ferrie of Melton called police after defending themselves and their home in the early hours, against a number of intruders. The couple, who have suffered repeated burglaries and collected numerous police crime numbers to the extreme prejudice of their insurance premiums, immediately informed police of the necessity to discharge a legally held shotgun in order to protect themselves. Armed police were immediately deployed to arrest the distraught couple and ransack their home. Inspector Doh Nutt, in charge of the armed operation, said "We 'ave been watching these buggers for some time. It was necessary to arrest and strip-search two murderous scum and rip furniture in our search for ammunition and other things we don't like. A lethal shotgun, which will form key evidence in future criminal proceedings, has been recovered and confiscated. These scrotes have been placed on the DNA database. It is unlikely that they will ever get their hands on firearms again and to make certain, we will be monitoring their movements hereafter."Meanwhile, two intruders, whose identity is being protected, were being treated for minor injuries at a private Hospital paid for by speculative lawyers and comforted by relatives, well-wishers and specially trained police.
I cannot say much more at the moment but the vile, murderous, trigger-happy couple will not confess to their crimes. Give us a few more days and they will.
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