Monday 18 February 2013

No, Ivan. No, It Wouldn't...


Would it, really? Let's look at the circumstances, shall we?
A few weeks ago Taxi and I were out on our regular early evening stroll in Shoreditch Park when a Staffordshire bull terrier ran towards us.
In a split second we sensed danger but I wasn’t close enough to grab my dog in time. Taxi’s eyes widened as the bull terrier leapt on him, sinking its teeth into his neck and causing him to let out a pained, terrified squeal.
I immediately seized the attacker and tried to pull it off my poor dog. “Oi, you,” came a drunken shout from 10 feet away.
“F***ing leave my dog alone.”
The bull terrier now had its snarling jaws clamped around my fingers. I managed to whip my hand away, scoop up Taxi and sidestep the salivating mutt.
“And keep your poof dog away from mine,” the drunk raged on. His eyes were red, his body swaying like he was on the deck of a boat.
I recognised him instantly from the local council estate. He’s often seen lurching around the park with his Staffy. It’s not the first time they've intimidated Taxi or me and I’ve heard similar tales from other dog-walkers.
Yes, that's just the sort of person who'd trot along to the Post Office to immediately slap some beer vouchers down on the counter a few scant seconds after the ink was dry on the legislation, isn't it?
Dog licences existed in Britain until 1987 (and are still in force today in Northern Ireland). They cost 37p and were seen as a tax on dog ownership that no one took seriously. But if they cost £20-£30, with discounts for pensioners and people with disabilities, it could help raise more than £100 million.
And just how much would it cost to administer and enforce, you utter, utter moron?

17 comments:

Anonymous said...

Thats why the twats want your dog chipped -find out whose got a dog?--£60 dog licence--or maybe £60 a year.

The wanker in the article should have kicked the shit out of the dog and its owner.
Anybody who thinks "Taxi" is a good name for a dog wouldn't be up for defending himself.

Umbongo said...

. . . and Massow's "clincher" is that this crapola is "backed by the RSPCA": a sure sign that, whatever the intent of this proposed legislation, the ones to suffer will be the generally law-abiding who can be easily dragged into court.

Anonymous said...

Bunny

If a staffie had, had a go at my old lurcher, Bob would have ripped it apart and my boot would have been flying into it. Secondly I would I punched the lights out of said drunk too. What is it with the thought processes of these people?

Jim said...

What is it with these people? Why do they think that the return of dog licences is suddenly going to make chavs and their Staffies model citizens? The police don't want to know now if something happens, like to the chap in the article, so why does he think that everyone having a dog licence (even assuming everyone did get one) would make one iota of difference?

All that will happen is that otherwise law abiding citizens will be fined for some oversight in their paperwork, and incidents like the one detailed will continue unchecked.

Blue Eyes said...

I agree with dog taxing and chipping. The authorities should demand a DNA sample so that pavement dog shit can be identified and prosecuted. Urban dogs are a menace.

My estate has a policy of not allowing tenants to have dogs. To my annoyance it also has a policy of not kicking out people for having dogs.

Budvar said...

Yes Blue eyes, and I have a policy to treat anyone who uses the words "Taxing, Chipping, DNA, Identified and Prosecuted" in 2 lines of text as the authoritarian goose stepping pillock they invariably are..

John Pickworth said...

Can we simply shoot these two dog owners to put them out of my misery?



Blue Eyes said...

Budvar, have you ever heard of online hyperbole? If you have, do you recognise it in my comment above?

Anonymous said...

Oh Shoreditch, I mean, it's so, yah, umm, vibrant, yah, and so, like, ermm, really cool and that...I just love the diversity there...except of course swaggering chav morons with staffies and little black gangstas with guns and knives and who rob one....I mean, yah, not that i'd admit to saying that, yah, because I'm not a like errmm raciust or likke, umm a snob or anything...Oh and it's so near Hoxton and there's like micro brewerys and artisan bakers and like every thing supercool...etc etc etc

Budvar said...

Blue eyes, if that's the case and I've misunderstood, then I apologize unreservedly.

Unfortunately, people and the times being what they are, it's sometimes a little difficult to differentiate between the two.

We have a local "care in the community" type who circles dog shit with chalk and writes "Filthy" and "Dirty dog owner" underlined.

Anonymous said...

Bunny

And gun crime has been reduced by more legislation....

Right bloody idiots

James Higham said...

There should be cat and fish licences too.

Leg-iron said...

There is no such thing as a fish licence. The Lord Mayor has granted an exemption.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nmyHup4TpkU

At least, for halibut.

Well, it makes more sense than modern life.

John Pickworth said...

Stretching the logic to breaking point, but the 9/11 hijackers had pilot licences. And that worked out well didn't it?

JuliaM said...

"...a sure sign that, whatever the intent of this proposed legislation, the ones to suffer will be the generally law-abiding who can be easily dragged into court."

Yup! :/

" What is it with the thought processes of these people?"

They've been conditioned to believe it's the job of the State to resolve everything.

"Budvar, have you ever heard of online hyperbole? If you have, do you recognise it in my comment above?"

These days? Who can tell?!

"Well, it makes more sense than modern life."

It does indeed! :)

The Meissen Bison said...

There should be cat and fish licences too.

Seems a bit draconian. Next you'll be saying that fish should be chipped.

John Pickworth said...

Seems a bit draconian. Next you'll be saying that fish should be chipped

Battered and served with chips surely?