Tuesday 18 June 2013

Do You Remember When You Did Your Exams?

A state-of-the art chicken coop, complete with a gym, is the latest addition to Surbiton High School.
Kavita Patel, head of biology, claims watching the chickens is calming for the students.
And why do they need ‘calming’?
Kavita Patel, head of biology, said: “Having the chickens outside it is about having live animals, and getting everybody to see them every day.
"The students can see them at breaks and lining up for exams. They are calming, they are good for the exam period.”
Ah. I see. When they finally graduate and get jobs, I hope they won’t be stressful ones. Because I can’t see employers taking anything other than a dim view of a demand for ‘calming’ techniques when there’s a rush job on or a deadline to meet.

And…when did schools take it upon themselves to cosset their students, and remove all traces of stress from their lives? Stress is natural, hardship is a part of life.

Back when I did exams the idea that they should be ‘stress free’ was an alien concept. If you’d asked any of my teachers what they were doing to avoid burdening their pupils with this, they’d have stared at you blankly and wondered what you’d been smoking...

10 comments:

Fidel Cuntstruck said...

Heh :0)

Actually, the Memsahib's School also has these "learning aids" - probably because most of the little darlings in the place would remain convinced that eggs come from Tesco were there not four Chickens scratching around in their Eglu. Someone somewhere is making a nice little earner out of selling these kits to Schools and I've no evidence as yet to suggest that it helps the pupils with very much at all - we, however, benefit to the tune of four rather nice fresh eggs most weeks and as I dip my buttered soldier into my soft boiled egg on a Sunday morning I thank the School for their progressive outlook ;0)

Macheath said...

"The students can see them [..] lining up for exams..."

Blimey - so Gove's tougher academic regime will even extend to the school's livestock!

Actually, I'm all in favour of letting children have contact with the animals that are a major source of food - though it would be well to remember the fuss over Marcus, the Romney Lamb when the time comes to wring their necks.

Demetrius said...

Following on from Macheath who rightly asks if they are taught what has to be done when the eggs are not being laid, are they then taught how to prepare them for cooking?

Joe Public said...

"When they finally graduate and get jobs, ..........."

It'd be an ironic culture shock if they got one at KFC.

ukFred said...

I wonder if the teacher involved is aware that contact with avian droppings, especially chicken droppings, can lead to presumed ocular histioplasmosis syndrome, and if not, who will pick up the tab when one of the former pupils contracts this in later life.

JuliaM said...

"...I've no evidence as yet to suggest that it helps the pupils with very much at all - we, however, benefit to the tune of four rather nice fresh eggs most weeks .."

And when they stop laying, MacHeath's admonition needs to be considered!

"It'd be an ironic culture shock if they got one at KFC."

Wait, what has KFC got to do with chicken..? ;)

"I wonder if the teacher involved is aware that contact with avian droppings, especially chicken droppings, can lead to presumed ocular histioplasmosis syndrome..."

Oh, I'm sure there's a full H&S risk assessment!

JuliaM said...

"Blimey - so Gove's tougher academic regime will even extend to the school's livestock! "


Don't scoff! They might do a lot better...

ageing man said...

all this talk about de-stressing the kids...... waaaait ....what about the chickens ? who is going to de-stress the chickens whilst they have to listen to all these spotty herberts spouting nonsense about last nights The Voice as they line up for their exams.

I'd bring in the RSPCA to avoid animal cruelty to the chickens !

Gibby Haynes said...

There's nothing I'd rather have - apart from maybe white noise or babies screaming - than the sound of chickens when I'm sitting my exams.

Good job, geniuses.

JuliaM said...

"all this talk about de-stressing the kids...... waaaait ....what about the chickens ?"

I bet some animal-rights protester is penning a 'Guardian' column right about now...

"There's nothing I'd rather have - apart from maybe white noise or babies screaming - than the sound of chickens when I'm sitting my exams."

Ah, but they'll have to keep all the windows closed for the kids with hayfever! ;)