Tuesday, 18 June 2013

Want To Get Out Of Jury Service?

Don’t wash for the week before the trial. Simples!
A murder trial has collapsed after a female juror complained that the man sitting next to her in the court smelled.
So…move him, or hand him a can of deodorant. Simples! No..?

No:
The trial into the death of 20-year-old Jamie Sanderson, who was stabbed in Oceana nightclub, was two days into a six week trial when Judge Wendy Joseph discharged the jury.
She said:“There is a problem. There is nothing that the poor man can do about it. I am not prepared to force him to sit in another part of the court room. “
Well, it’s only public money, judge. It’s not like it costs you anything, is it?

And we can’t have any hint of ‘discrimination’ towards the man with the offensive body odour, can we?
The juror in question was spoken to by the court matron about his cleanliness.
While the jury were out of the court room, lawyers were told he had no health issues, regularly showered and washed his clothes.
So…why did he smell?
The judge considered moving him into the press box but said she felt this may ostracise him.
Judge Joseph said: “He was pretty comfortable where he was in the jury box and did not wish to be put to one side. In light of that, it would be wrong of me to make him do that.
“He believes that the complaint has come from a number of jurors.”
So the trial collapses because of her wish not to ‘ostracise’ the man. Unbelievable!
She also said it worried her that as the weather got warmer it could lead to more complaints.
This is an English summer. I really wouldn't worry too much about that

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

A friend of mine was called for jury service and turned up the first day unshaven, wearing denim jeans,an old jacket, with a folded copy of a red top tabloid in a pocket. In the selection process he was chosen by the defence brief (along with several others dressed similarly). On the first day of the trial he arrived dressed rather more conservatively in a blazer and Regimental tie. He said it was great fun listening to the defence brief argue that he had used false preferences to be selected for the jury service. He remained on the jury and the defendant was found guilty - though I am assured the two points weren't connected!
Penseivat

Fidel Cuntstruck said...

The juror in question was spoken to by the court matron about his cleanliness.

Whut !?!?!?

While the jury were out of the court room, lawyers were told he had no health issues, regularly showered and washed his clothes.

His Halitosis must have been pretty bloody terrifying then

Bucko The Moose said...

This in a murder trial? Be interesting to see how the retrial goes...

Fidel Cuntstruck said...

@Penseivat

Class, utter class - worth doing jury service for that alone;0)

I've been eligible for Jury service for 30 years but never been even asked - the Bastards!

JuliaM said...

"He said it was great fun listening to the defence brief argue that he had used false preferences to be selected for the jury service."

Ahahahaha!

"His Halitosis must have been pretty bloody terrifying then"

Well, quite!

"This in a murder trial?"

It's your typical modern London murder trial, with the now-expected cast of characters... :/