Wednesday, 4 October 2017

Futile Gestures Part 24257851

South Essex College bosses have banned all staff and students from bringing in sport cap bottles...in a bid to...
Oh, I can't wait...!
...stop acid attacks.
Huh? So...has there been some at this college?
A spokesman told the Echo the decision was not prompted by any incidents at the college.
Ah. OK. Well, guess it can't hurt to be proactive.
He said: “There’s no hidden element behind our new policy. “As the weekend’s events in Stratford show, these attacks are unfortunately becoming all too common. We’ve put this in place as a purely preventative measure, we will continue to make sure the safety of our students, staff and visitors remains our top priority.
“We have more than 10,000 students, and up to 1,000 staff members, across all three of our campuses.”
Well, good job you didn't just take a knee-jerk over reaction that even they could see thr...

Oh, wait. You did!
Molly McTigue, 17, from Little Wakering, who is studying Media Make Up at the college, said: “I got told off for bringing a Lucozade bottle into class on Wednesday. I didn’t know why.
“I suppose it’s good because they’re trying to prevent acid attacks, but I don’t think it will make any difference because they will find other ways of doing it.”
Incredibly, they seem smarter than their educators already.

6 comments:

staybryte said...

"I was going to maim someone with acid, but then I changed my mind as the sports cap bottle I was planning to use is banned and I wouldn't want to get into trouble."

Hmmm.

Anonymous said...

Are they going to bag search 10,000 students every day? If not and one deranged student does want to perpetrate an attack I doubt a ban on bottles will deter them.

Ted Treen said...

Imagine the fun when they ban clothing "to prevent carrying concealed weapons".

Tees Maid said...

"Imagine the fun when they ban clothing "to prevent carrying concealed weapons"."

Why don't they just ban concealed weapons? And acid attacks? It would be just as effective.

Anonymous said...

Tough on lucozade tough on the causes of lucozade.
Jaded

JuliaM said...

"Are they going to bag search 10,000 students every day?"

That'd take until lunchtime!

"Imagine the fun when they ban clothing "to prevent carrying concealed weapons"."

Have you seen some of these 'students'? I have... *shudders*