It's As Regular As Clockwork...

...cometh the election, cometh the idiot: 

A Green Party activist has lost part of her finger after a dog chomped down on it while she was posting campaign fliers through the letter box. Danica Priest, who is running to be a councilor in the Filwood area of Bristol, was left in hospital after a dog took the end of her digit off.

*sigh* 

Liberal Democrat candidate Caroline Gooch added: 'Sorry to read that. Noone should be maimed using a letterbox.

'If people have bitey dogs they should have a letterbox cage or external letterbox.'

There's another option, of course, but why would a LibDumb ever think of it?  

And a third, Tash, continued: 'Oh poor you, wishing you better.

'Old trick, take wooden spoon to push leaflets through/hold letter boxes open.'

Well done, Tash.  

That's Just Greedy!

A Liberal Democrat councillor who was set to represent two places - more than 150 miles away from each other - is expected to resign from one.

Blimey, his travel expense claims will bankrupt both councils! 

Chris Twells won Tetbury with Upton in Gloucestershire despite already representing Ordsall in north-west England. Following his Cotswold District Council victory, Mr Twells said he would begin the process of resigning from Ordsall.

Oh, maybe not... 

It comes after his candidacy sparked controversy in both areas.

That's the LibDems for you, showing an unerring instinct for upsetting everyone they can! 

H/T: Ian J via email

It's Deja Vu Again...Again!

A councillor has spoken of the harrowing moment her fingernails were ripped off in a dog attack...

Fingernails? Off, it's it usually leg or arm injuries? 

...as she posted a flyer, leaving her needing emergency surgery.

Ah.  

Cllr Carnac says she usually uses a posting peg when leafleting - a plastic gadget used to push post through a letterbox while avoiding any contact with unruly dogs.

She hopes her experience will serve as a “timely reminder” for dog owners to be responsible, and anyone who delivers door-to-door to be careful.

That's the thing about reminders - you have to remember them! 

A police spokesman said: "Kent Police has received a report that a woman was bitten by a dog at a property in Chestnut Drive, Sturry at around 11am on Saturday 5 November 2022.

"Enquiries into the incident are ongoing."

I doubt they are rushing... 

You're Lucky You Haven't Experienced Real 'Hate Speech, Jessica....

Jessica Fostekew (apparently 'a comedian, actor and writer') is alarmed. She's had....wait for it...election material through her door!

It raises the practical question: are we allowed to post those opinions through a letterbox?

What, election material stating what the candidate stands for and will do if elected? Yes. Yes, we are. 

My partner and I asked the internet, via social media. A small storm ensued, so spicy that my partner deleted her tweet. It was too all-consuming. I’m, however, cracking on. The 2% saying it’s freedom of speech: surely, not when it’s hate speech?

No, 'hate speech' is banned. Obviously. Did you report this? 

Lewisham council replied, in effect, that candidates can state whatever opinions they like. Which I get. But really, with zero boundaries?

It appears so!  

There’s freedom of speech, and there’s freedom of hate speech, and there has to be some demarcation between the two. It’s the difference between shaking hands and punching.

So, what, exactly, did the candidate say? Call for gay people to be burned at the stake?

"Marriage: I pledge to cut through political correctness and simply state the truth that natural marriage between a man and a woman is the fundamental building block for a successful society, and the safest environment for raising children."

*blinks*

That's it? That doesn't even merit the tem 'controversial', never mind 'hate speech'.  

It's All So Predictable, Isn't It?

Mid term local elections, and what do they tell us? 

Ah, the usual - dissatisfaction with the way things are going manifesting in dissatisfaction with the majority party and (potentially) an upcoming Night of The Long Knives in a month or so. 

And let's face it, it's the Tories who have brought it on themselves...

I feel like I've been here before, somehow. Many times. Does evetyone else? 

It Comes Around Again....

...local election time, that is. And this year, my usual polling station has moved. 

And, despite my belief that to not vote is going to be a waste of a hard-won responsibility, I find myself less enthused than ever before in my life. Once again, I'm not voting for a party, but against the others. 

I wonder if this was a sign of general apathy, and will it be repeated around the country?

Whatever, tomorrow's going to be interesting. 

It's Taken You A While, But Keep It Up...

...beyond the local elections, which is why we all know you're doing it now:

A government source said: ‘The Justice Secretary is determined that our prisons up their game in rehabilitating prisoners to drive down re-offending, cut crime and protect the public.

‘But wishy-washy, politically correct phrases like “room” or “client” dent public confidence in our ability both to reform and to punish those who have broken the law and caused harm to others. The Justice Secretary believes in calling a prisoner a prisoner.'

It begs the question just why you haven't done this before? 

I guess you must not be a gardener - if you were, you'd know you don't let weeds get fully established before a panicked attempt to uproot them when you've got company scheduled in for a garden party. 

Still, at least they're able to call something what it really is, eh, Kier? 

Oh Look, It's Deja Vu - Again!

A long serving Bradford councilor has issued a warning after she suffered injuries to her hand...

Oh, how?  

...when she was attacked by a dog through a letterbox.

Christ, it's not as if it's an unforseeable consequence, is it?

She rang Idle Medical Centre (Ed: SNORK!) and was seen by her GP straight away.

She's lucky! 

Cllr Sunderland, who said she has been unable to drive since the incident, thanked people who have been helping her.

"I'm doing ok because I'm getting lots of sympathy and help."

You're getting no sympathy from me.

I Thought It Wouldn't Be Surprising...

...that the Tories would win the (uncontested) election following the terrorist murder of Sir David Amess. 

But I was wrong: 

Thousands of voters in the uncontested Southend West by-election spoilt their ballot papers with messages directed at the government, according to local BBC reports.

A bit of hyperbole here - the actual total was 1084. 

But even so, given the turnout was the third lowest since 1945, that tells us something... 

Targeting That Vital Voting Demographic...

As we head to the polling stations for another round of local elections, Labour have decided to place their bets on....

Oh.

The Labour Party has selected a candidate who co-founded a campaign against the British Heart Foundation.

Tricky one! What was her beef?

Vegan activist Denise Friend set up the “British Heartless Foundation” targeting the charity’s shops across the country.

Activists stood outside the shops shouting “animal killers” into megaphones and blasting sirens.

/facepalm

Ms Friend has previously demonstrated against Hove’s greyhound stadium and also Zippos Circus.

Brighton, eh? Says it all. 

Useless, Beleaguered, Beset By Scandal And Resignations...

...and yet the Tories are still more palatable than Calamity Corbyn's mob:

...party chiefs will face an inquest into why Labour is not making progress in crucial swing seats against an ailing Tory government.

Everyone already knows why, don't they?

It's almost like the Tories didn't even need to try. And indeed, some of them didn't!

The tears of the crushed enemies are sweet, as I drink them to the sound of the lamentations of their women:

Oh, Twitter is going to be delicious this morning!

Translation: "Please Lose Us More Votes!"

Haringey Council needs to work better with voluntary sector partners when providing support to refugees to avoid “storing up problems for the future”.

A scrutiny review on support to children from refugee families found Haringey’s approach was “harsh” compared to other boroughs and called on the council to look at other ways of providing funding and support.

One might almost say, they provided a 'hostile environment'. Well, if you listened to the bleating of these Open Borders advocates, that is.

In the past year, the council assisted 254 children and 155 families in these circumstances, with current spending totalling £635,000 a year.

That's harsh, yes, but only on the poor bloody taxpayer!

But the Children and Young People’s Scrutiny Panel heard evidence that the assessment process used to determine whether support could be provided tended to focus on the finances and status of parents rather than the welfare of children.

As well it should. If the parents can support them, why should anyone else?

Mark Blake, Labour councillor for Muswell Hill and member of the Children and Young People’s Scrutiny Panel, said the review showed Haringey was “not working as cohesively with voluntary partners” as other boroughs.

He said: “In comparison to Islington, I felt we were losing out by not working as effectively and in as collaborative [a] fashion as I would have expected.

“Personally, I felt taking an approach that could be more harsh could be counterproductive – as a public authority, we could be storing up issues for us further down the line.”

Sounds almost like a threat. Perhaps we'd simply be better not taking in any more of them?

Then It's Time To Stop Voting For Them, Isn't It?

Maggie Kelly, 51, of Peel Avenue, Shoebury, and Wendy Punt, 50, of Elm Road, Shoebury, say that the town’s streets (sic) and are calling for more bobbies on the beat to combat knife crime.

I hope they are bigger than the one I saw strolling down the high street with her mate the other day. I could see over the top of her hat, and I'm not tall!

Her mate wasn't that much taller, and the two of them together couldn't handle disorder from anything bigger than a toddler...

Maggie’s son Shaun, 19, and Wendy’s son James, 20, were attacked by men wearing balaclavas in an alleyway near Elm Road, and were shoved to the floor. The thugs threatened the pair with a knife and stole James’ wallet.

Two fit young men were helpless. Not sure what Little & Littler could have done to assist...

The mums are calling on Southend Council to help work to get police the resources needed to make the community safe.

Unless those resources are a few units of the ED-209, it's hard to see what difference they are going to make...

Mrs Kelly said: “We want Shoebury to be safer place to live, I like living here but want it to be a better place to live.

Good luck with that!

“I want to see our local councillors doing something more to make sure that we get more police on our streets.

Really? So, are they lacking?

Mrs Punt said: “We have been speaking to our local councillors about the issue and we just don’t seem to get any answers from them.”

Well, the answer's within your own gift, isn't it? What do you plan to do?

Has Someone Boobed Here..?

Labour Party chiefs in Southend have blocked an activist from standing in local elections – because of his career as a...

Abortionist? Communist dictator? IRA hitman?

Well, no, obviously. They've no problem at all with those!

...Page 3 photographer.

Oops!

Mike Fieldhouse, from Westcliff, stood in last year’s Southend Council elections in the Prittlewell ward, losing out to Conservative candidate David Garston by just 78 votes.

But this time around Mr Fieldhouse, a member of hard left faction Momentum, has been told his profession as a glamour photographer could be used as a “political weapon” by opponents.

Oh, the irony!

A selection panel labelled his job an “embarrassment” to the party and criticised the dad-of-two for considering it a “trivial matter”.

How's it feel to be on the wrong side of the Star Chamber for a change, chum? And you spent so long polishing your SJW credentials, too!

But Mr Fieldhouse told the Echo he has worked for national newspapers, including the Daily Star, for more than 25 years and his work is “no secret”. He said: “It was disappointing and surprising. Just last month the party put out a press release saying I was a ‘valuable member of the local party’.

“So it’s come as an absolute shock that in just over a month I’ve become someone who they don’t think is suitable to stand.”

Mr Fieldhouse volunteers at Southend’s Night Shelter Project and is a qualified counsellor who works with a charity providing support to victims of rape and child sex abuse.

I can't wait for the appeal! *gets popcorn*

Don’t Blame The System If Your Voters Are Too Idle…

…or never actually existed in the first place:

An estimated 800,000 people have dropped off the electoral register since the government introduced changes to the system, with students in university towns at highest risk of being disenfranchised, the Guardian has learned.

Labour says it fears that the missing sections of the electorate are predominantly its supporters after the government moved from registration of electors by household to asking individuals to sign up, citing fears of fraud and error.

Maybe Labour would like to wonder how, with their supposed emphasis on ‘Education, education, education!’ they ended up with students too thick to work out that they’d need to register to get a vote?

Gloria De Piero, the shadow minister for electoral registration, said the data revealed an alarming reduction in students on the register, which is likely to raise fears that election results could be swayed by missing blocks of like-minded voters.

Or could be returned to normality once the idiots and people happy to vote themselves free money are removed…

With the national voter registration drive starting today, De Piero has written to John Penrose, a Cabinet Office minister, to call for all universities to offer registration for students when they enrol.

Why? It’s already plastered over every council website, there’s a national campaign of advertising & mailshots. What more do they need?

Why Can’t These People Learn..?

The Morley Town councillor was rushed to Leeds General Infirmary after the end of her finger was bitten off during the attack. Coun Sanders is now warning fellow councillors to be careful in the run-up to the election.

What, they needed a warning not to put their fingers through the letterbox? Are they that dim?

Coun Sanders was shocked to find out that she was not the only councillor to lose part of her finger electioneering.

Oh. It would seem Sanders is that dim, since this is hardly something that hasn’t been covered – and covered well – by the media.

How can someone so incurious and unaware of issues think they have what it takes to be a councillor?

The councillor also wants owners of pets which are thought to be aggressive to put a cage around their letter box and a “beware of the dog” notice on the door.

Police have since ordered the owner of the dog which attacked her to do this following the incident.

How about you simply spread the word that putting your fingers in the letterbox isn’t a good idea?

In fact, in this increasingly risk-averse society we live in, I’m surprised it’s not issued as an advisory note to all campaigners & letterbox-litterers…

Labour Needs DEFRA Assistance For Their Foot-In-Mouth Disease…

Oh, dear, oh dear, Emily Thornberry, how does one extricate oneself from a faux pas? Hint: not like this!

After the first barrage of complaints, Thornberry said her critics may have been showing “a somewhat prejudiced attitude towards Islington” .

She added: “I’ve been down in Rochester … and I’ve been tweeting one or two quotes of what people have said to me on the doorstep, and images that I’ve seen … and then I came across a house that was covered absolutely from the roof all the way down to the ground with England flags – they couldn’t even see out of the window. It was an amazing image, so I took a photograph of it and I put it on Twitter.”

It had three flags. Three. I've seen houses covered with more than that when there’s an England match on!

But hey, Emily, play that Victim Card if you think it’ll help…

The Labour MP said she thought there was “a lot of mischief-making” going on. “You know, I think the truth is, while the byelection’s going on, people haven’t got a lot to say,” she said.

“They can say there’s people out on doorsteps knocking on doors. And I suspect that those kind of people are trying to promote a somewhat prejudiced attitude towards Islington. ”

And ‘those kind of people’ are greatly in appreciation of your sterling efforts to help them do that, Emily!

“I was brought up on a council estate and I’ve never seen a house where people can’t see out of the window because of England flags. It was just trying to give, to the people who follow me on Twitter, a kind of picture of what the Rochester byelection is like.”

And instead, it gave them a pretty good idea of what you are like – the typical sneering Islintonite career-politician, untouched and unaffected by the policies you support and enforce.

And, though I myself piled in with the rest on Thursday evening, I might have had a tiny smidgen of sympathy for someone hounded out of her job by a social media mob…


…then I remembered Ched Evans and Julian Blanc, and I thought “Oh, well, sauce for the gander!”

Is There An Election Looming, I Wonder?

You know, there just might be!

The First Rule Of (Children’s) Fight Club…

…is that there will be no Fight Club. At least, not if Southend Council have their way:

The Elite Fighting Championship: Double Impact event was supposed to take place at the Chase Sports and Fitness Centre in Westcliff on Saturday. However, a council spokesman said on Friday:

“Unfortunately we have had to ask for this mixed Thai and boxing event to be cancelled due to fundamental concerns over child protection.

“This centred around the apparent age of the children competing in this event.”

 Yes. That's all.

Oh, that and they had the nerve to fail to genuflect and ask their ruler's permission, of course:

The spokesman said had the council been involved from the beginning the outcome may have been different.

Oh, really? So, it's not really the age you object to at all, it's that they had the temerity to think they could do something without involving the State?

He said: “Then we would have been able to raise our concerns over the age of some competitors; the event organiser could have perhaps has a modified format, allowing it to go-ahead.”

 Even better - this was a charity event.

The poster for the Westcliff bouts features pictures of both children and adults, and advertised it as being a mixed “muay thai, K1 and boxing event” which was donating money to the Macmillan Cancer Support Fund.

/golfclap for Southend Council there, then...

Misleading Headlines...

Really? Well, those who just skim the headline and don't read the article will get a very different impression to those who do:

Detectives found evidence of possible bogus postal votes in three of 64 cases they investigated but none was sufficient to identify suspects or bring prosecutions, the Commission said.

That's quite a different thing, isn't it?

Officers received nearly twice as many reports of fraud from the borough alone than the total for any other force in the country - mostly from local councillors - sparking an investigation that involved inquiries at more than 60 properties.

One from which postal votes were sent was empty, another no longer housed the people whose votes were considered suspect and those at a third denied applying for postal votes and would not assist further.

It was decided there was no prospect of tracking down suspects or getting sufficiently concrete evidence.

Gosh! 'It was too hard, so we gave up.' Now where have I heard that before?

And it's strange how they can spend an inordinate amount of time on far more minor 'offences', isn't it?

The investigation also looked into media reports that a prisoner and a dead man had also "voted" but found no crime had been committed - the second individual having died after returning his postal vote.

Fair enough. But the prisoner?