Tweet Of The Month

An idiot is schooled:

And we really shouldn't stick the boot into May becau... aw, go on then!

Post Title Of The Month

I might as well make this 'Tim Newman Title Of The Month' at this rate...

Quote Of The Month

Tim Newman on a new cause of death:

"There was a time when Boeing would have known what systems and processes to put in place to ensure a plane is airworthy, and they’d have employed people with the knowledge, skills, and character to implement them. In parallel, the FAA would have employed competent, experienced people who could be trusted to sign off on an aircraft only if it was safe. But Boeing’s priorities changed along with those of the FAA, reordered to place social justice, inclusion, and diversity at the top as they proceed with their mission to remake the world according to their ideology. And now we have planes dropping out of the sky and killing hundreds of people in accidents due to colossal organisational failings from outfits that are preaching to us about morality."

And Longrider on the predictable 'Guardian' response to Milkshake Wars:

"Either Chakrabortty is being highly disingenuous or he carries his own event horizon around with him. It is perfectly clear that Farage was engaging in rhetoric and metaphor. Being a journalist, I presume you have studied the English language and know what a metaphor is, you amoral piece of shit. It was not intended to be an actual call to violence and you would have to be unbelievably thick to think that it was. But never mind, this, apparently, has the same equivalence as attacking political candidates on the hustings and makes it okay. Moron. I also notice the poisoning the well fallacy being wheeled out. Why is it that modern journalists are incapable of presenting logically sound arguments? Why are they so utterly thick? I also notice that he is trying to claim that objection to violence is somehow being a member of the offenderati. Idiot. No, it isn’t. The offenderati, the professionally outraged, are those who complain about wrongthink or use unapproved words. Objecting to actual assault is not being professionally offended, it is the normal response of a moral person."

Post Of The Month

Dumbjon on the modern Tory party and its ability to unerringly snatch defeat from the jaws of victory...

Why Not Show Contempt, When The Justice System Is So Contemptible?

A recording of the incident was played in court yesterday in which Rayson, after he was remanded in custody, began shouting 'come here' repeatedly, referring to the Judge as 'big man'.

He then called out 'I will punch your f***ing face in you d***head'.

Not a very sensible thing to do?

In mitigation his defence barrister Jane Brady said that her client was sorry for what he had done and being placed into custody was a 'tipping point' which led to his outburst.

That outburst got him an extra month in jail.

But....why was he so upset? It's not like he's any stranger to jail, after all?

The court heard Rayson, a father-of-one, has 22 convictions for crimes including assault, drugs crimes, and public order offences.

But Anthony McGeorge, defending, said his client was keen to “change his ways”. He said: “He is a young man, who in my submission, needs help.”

Rayson also asked for eight other crimes to be taken into consideration – four thefts, three burglaries, and a taking of a car without the owner’s consent.

I guess he didn't change his ways after all, Anthony. Still, you got paid, and you probably don't live anywhere near him, so it's all good, eh?

The Ratchet Only Turns One Way...

Laws covering so-called revenge porn are not fit for purpose and police still need more training, experts say.

The 'experts' in question being the usual suspects, of course.

Victims should receive anonymity and laws need to include threats to share images, according to Sophie Mortimer from the Revenge Porn helpline.

Yes, it's 'activists get what they want then push for redefinition to prove they were right all along' again.

Figures from 19 forces in England and Wales revealed police investigations have doubled in the last four years but the number of charges has fallen.

Because the CPS knows full well that most of these cases aren't going to win over a jury?

In October 2016, Alice Ruggles, 24, was murdered by a former boyfriend who cut her throat after breaking into her home in Gateshead.

After her death it emerged that her killer, Trimaan Dhillon, had threatened to share intimate images of her online as part of a campaign of stalking and harassment.

Alice's mother, Dr Sue Hills, said threatening to share images should be made part of the law. She said her daughter may have sought help sooner if Dhillon had not held the threat over her.

And she may not have needed to 'seek help' if you'd raised her with more self-respect than to take and share these sort of images in the first place.

Here, Jeremy, You Might Need This...

Inspector Jeremy Bartley, of North Yorkshire Police's Roads Policing Group, said: "This was a road traffic collision that led to the tragic loss of two innocent lives, for which Samuel Balaam has admitted responsibility. This incident reinforces the need for drivers to provide their undivided attention and care when driving any vehicle at any time - treat it and those around you with respect.

"I would like to thank the families of the victims, who have had to endure a lengthy investigation in order to receive some solace, with the person responsible ultimately being brought to justice."

Really? Care to leaf through this book, chum?

Here, I'll turn the page for you:

North Yorkshire Police said Samuel Balaam had been sentenced by York Magistrates to 20 weeks in custody, suspended for 12 months.

I'm pretty sure no-one considers that 'justice' as defined in the OED.

Don't They Have The Dangerous Dogs Act In Norn Iron Then...?

Police said the incident was reported to them and the matter passed to the council's dog warden for investigation.

Belfast City Council confirmed it was investigating.

Wait, what? This could have been fatal!

Doctors told the family one injury was just 2cms from piercing the girl's heart.

She is to meet with doctors at the end of the week for possible nerve damage to her shoulder.

Why the hell aren't the cops investigating, instead of some council pen-pusher?

“I feel disgusted that the dog was off the lead, especially a dog like that, with kids playing,” grandmother Anne-Marie O’Dwyer said.

She said her granddaughter has suffered nightmares since the attack.

“She just keeps saying ‘Why did the dog jump me?' She just doesn’t understand. She didn’t go near the dog. The dog went to her.

“She could be dead, without a doubt."

Doesn't the PSNI operate to the same Dangerous Dogs legislation as the mainland?

Something Missing In This 'Independent' Headline...

...what could it possibly be?

Oh. Yeah. The words 'convicted murderer' should be in there, surely?

Phoenix was cleared of causing death by dangerous driving but had previously admitted the lesser offence of causing death by careless driving.

As he was sentenced at Bournemouth Crown Court, Jaiden’s father stormed out, shouting: “Is that it? You got a year for killing my son?”

He got life for killing his wife, and didn't serve it. I wonder how much of this 'year' he'll actually serve?

The Crown Prosecution Service has confirmed that Phoenix was sentenced to life imprisonment in 2004 for the murder of his wife.

It is not clear when he was released on licence but he was recalled to prison following Jaiden’s death.

For how long?

Why Invent New Excuses When The Old Ones Work So Well?

Sedat Menekse, 29, from Canvey, says he is worried sick trying to find out where his beloved pet is - and claims police have refused to tell him where his dog is being kept and what will happen to her.

Well, yes. Because it's not for them to decide, but for magistrates.

Pity they didn't just shoot the thing then and there.

He told the Echo: “Everyone that knows Ella knows what happened is totally out of character for her and it was all exaggerated as she is not dangerous.

Ella must have been provoked or got scared after she escaped as she would never do this.”

Sure, the lady's tiny dog threatened this hulking monster so much she mauled it half to death in 'self-defence'. Gosh. Never heard that one before.

“I have lived on this island five years and have never caused any problems - I thought I was part of this community.”

What's that got to do with it? Thinking of playing the RacismCard™, are we?

“I have spoken to the lady whose dog Ella bit and we hugged and I told her how sorry I am and even offered to pay the vet bill – she’s a lovely lady.”

You 'offered'..? So, you haven't actually done so?

“I can’t eat over this, it’s stressing me out so much - I’m not a bad guy that everyone is making me out to be.”

Ah, 'it's me mental elf, your worship'...

“I am not being told anything. I will make sure she never escapes again, I will get padlocks and cameras.”

If you need padlocks and cameras to keep a 'family pet', it's not really suitable to be one. Is it?

"I've Got A Cunning Plan..."

New Tory council leader, Tony Cox, announced the proposal as part of a ten-point plan for the town.

The scheme, which other councils have also looked at, works by taking a swab from a dog to add its DNA to a register, which can then be matched with a sample of dog dirt.

Mr Cox announced the move to explore the initiative last night as part of a plan to invest in the borough.

Oh dear.

Still, Baldri- I mean, Tony, just because it hasn't worked anywhere else, eh?

Though most of the poop in Southend High Street is likely to be human.

I Hope Those 23 Weeks Feel Like 23 Years....

...and if the other prisoners get their hands on you, that's a given:

Callum Gerken, 27, of Wood Farm, Oxford, appeared in Oxford Magistrates' Court earlier to face a trial for attacking Shadow, a 17-week-old labrador he was meant to be looking after.

Gerken, who had previously denied the charge, had a last-minute change of heart and admitted causing the dog unnecessary suffering and a separate charge of sending a threatening message over WhatsApp.

I expect the 'change of heart' is more 'advised about reality by solicitor' as there's no evidence this thing has one.

Gerken was in a house in Saunders Road, East Oxford, on April 3, when he got angry at the puppy for defecating inside and ruining items in the house by tearing them up. He started repeatedly hitting her with a slipper.

Later, when she was struggling to breathe as a result of his actions, he refused to get her medical help.

The court heard how Gerken had sent an angry voice message over Whatsapp to the puppy's owner in which he said the puppy had 'sh*t everywhere'.

The message continued: "I have just beat her from one side of the room to the other. "I don't give a f**k. That is how it will be with me. She ain't gonna do that again because she cannot f**king walk."

He was also initially charged with assaulting a woman, the puppy's owner who'd clearly had the lack of sense to hook up with this walking piece of excrement, but the charges were inexplicably dropped.

Gerken's solicitor, Richard Davies, told the court his client felt shame and remorse for what he had done and that the act was completely out of character.

He should be done for perjury too! He's always been scum, as we can see from this news item in 2008:

Callum Gerken, 16, and Jake Gerken, 14, from Forest Hill, have been given two-year antisocial behaviour orders (Asbo) banning them from entering Risinghurst.

They are also banned from using threatening behaviour or violence, or intimidating, abusing or swearing at any member of the public in England and Wales.

The hearing at Oxford Magistrates' Court on Monday also imposed an order on the brothers' parents to control their children's behaviour.

Clearly, they didn't rise to the challenge.

Magistrates sentenced him to serve 23 weeks in prison, and he must pay £250 compensation and £1,000 court costs.

He'll probably have to spend those weeks in solitary, which is a pity, as it means no-one will be able to beat him from one side of the cell to another.

I'll Just Leave This Here, Shall I?

No further comment required...

Actually, 'Mail', If You Ever Do Get A Spellchecker...

...you might like to lend it to the 'Macclesfield Express'.

Still Not Installed That Spellchecker, Eh, 'Mail'?

I mean....

I....

*shrugs*

Sunday Funnies...

Why is it a surprise that nature is infinitely adaptable?

This Is Why We Have A Dangerous Dog Problem...

Sarah Dean’s American Bulldog, Carlo, attacked the child who was playing football outside his block of flats, in Kingsdown, on August 17 last year.

The single mum-of-two (Ed: It always is, isn't it?) had previously received letters from her housing association urging her to keep Carlo on a lead, following complaints from neighbours.

The boy, who has suffered severe physical and psychological damage, now struggles with behavioural problems including biting people.

Bang to rights, surely?

In her police interviews Dean, 43, blamed the five-year-old for what happened and denied the dog had attacked him, even when shown graphic images of the injuries.

Her brief soon got her to see sense.

Dean later pleaded guilty to being in charge of a dog dangerously out of control, causing injury.

She sobbed as Judge William Hart sentenced her at Bristol Crown Court on Wednesday (April 24) to a 12-month jail term...

Excellent! At last, a proper...

Oh.

...suspended for two years.

/facepalm

Nikki Coombe, mitigating, said Dean had “considerable remorse”, adding: “She was very upset when looking at the photographs of the child.”

Judge Hart replied: “Her initial response did her no credit.”

Good comeback. But neither does your leniency, judge, does it?

The prosecution has applied for the dog, which is in police custody, to be put down.

Dean opposes this and does not believe her dog is a danger to the public.

It doesn't really matter what she believes, does it?

The prosecution made an application for Dean to pay compensation to the family due to the boy’s serious psychological issues and his injuries.

Judge Hart said this was “not realistic” given the defendant’s limited means. She must complete 10 days of rehabilitation and adhere to a 16-week night curfew.

Her high dose of antidepressants made her unfit for unpaid work.

So we - the taxpayer - go on shelling out for a dangerous animal to be kept in kennels, and the other useless bitch to be kept in social housing?

Taking Us For Mugs Pt 793258715893569741

A mum has spoken out about her struggles living on Universal Credit.

Wait, haven't I heard this before?

The Whitehawk resident, who wished to remain anonymous, was forced to apply for benefits after leaving a relationship, leaving her and her son to stick it out by themselves.

Ah. Different location, far away from Bucko's patch. But pretty much the same whinge.

And she wasn't 'forced to apply for benefits' at all. She appears to have been living on benefits for the last 20 years!

“My last job was 20 years ago, and though I want to work and I’m trying to work, I just can’t get hired.

“It’s looking for someone who will give you that chance.”

She doesn't say what she's qualified in, or what she's applying for, but I suspect it's something that she knows full well she'll never get...

Universal Credit was introduced by the Government last year to supposedly simplify the benefits system, combining all benefits into one monthly payment tailor-made to the claimant’s needs.

But the anonymous mum said the payment is not enough and is starting to affect her mental health.

*rolls eyes*

“I hear people like us being referenced as being “below the poverty line” but they have no ideas what this means. They have no experience of it.

“I remember at Christmas last year when I realised I couldn’t buy my son anything as a present, not even a tiny gift, because we didn’t have enough.

“It was his first Christmas with me for a while and I couldn’t get him anything.”

Lots of working parents have the same experience, because they are taxed to the hilt to support people like this.

The mum has also been heavily affected by another much-criticised Government policy: bedroom tax, which taxes homeowners for each bedroom they do not use.

It doesn't 'tax homeowners' at all. I'm one. I'm not taxed.

She said: “I haven’t been able to move out of my three-bedroom house since our split.

“It’s a house we don’t need or want, but I can’t get out because the council only allows me to bid on specific properties.”

Translation: "I won't move out of the area or take a property that isn't 100% perfectly designed for my wants."

“Some days you just don’t want to get out of bed, but you have to keep going. Poverty is an easy hole to fall into, but it’s hard to get out.”

Doesn't sound much like you 'fell in'. Sounds like you've never bothered to climb out.

Someone Certainly 'Displays A Blatant Disregard For The Safety Of Others'...

Rob Hall, prosecuting, told how Martin was seen by police driving a Ford Kuga, which had cloned number plates, in the Bolton town centre area just before 10pm on March 20.

The vehicle had been stolen in a burglary at a home in Mersey Road, Sale on March 7.

"When officers put on their emergency lights and two tone horns this defendant's response was to drive away from them at speed and in a dangerous manner," said Mr Hall.

"The defendant drives on the wrong side of the road, overtakes in front of oncoming vehicles, travels at a speed up to 96mph in a 30mph limit and then drives through red lights, avoiding vehicles that were using that crossing at the time.

"He then performs a u-turn while being pursued by the police, his car swerves through other vehicles on the road and then, again, goes onto the wrong side of the road travelling at 90mph in a residential area.

"Such was the behaviour of the defendant and his driving that the police helicopter, in effect, called off the pursuit because of the potential danger to other road users.

"It is quite clear the defendant showed a blatant disregard for the safety of others."

...and it's not just the defendant, but the bewigged moron in the judge's seat:

Sentencing Martin to a community order for two years, Judge Timothy Stead said: "Usually, in this court, those who take flight from police when lights are flashing and drive dangerously through the suburbs go straight to prison. That's a near guarantee if anybody is injured or there is serious damage to property.

"Quite astonishingly, on Halliwell Road, that didn't happen. It really is amazing."

I think the word you were looking for was 'fortuitous'...

Martin was ordered to undertake 150 hours of unpaid work, participate in 25 days of rehabilitation activities and was banned from driving for two years.

The judge told him: "I do hope, if only for the sake of your family, that you are sorry and ashamed of what brings you here.

"I don't think you are a bad person at all — you took some very silly decisions and the ultimate one was a dangerous decision.

"I am not going to stigmatise you with a prison sentence."

*grinds teeth*

I suppose it was only to be expected.

Revenge, Best Eaten Cold...

...and washed down with a nice Chianti. Bon appetit, Nigel!

I Guess Crime Does Pay, If You're Up Before 'Lenient Leigh'...

CCTV footage showed Skarott, of Burnaby Road, Southend, activating the cards on several occasions and hiding them under the till.

Mr Thompson contacted the police, who then attended Skarott’s home. Cyrus Shroff, prosecuting, told the court:

“Police attended the defendant’s home address and found three bags of scratch cards, along with more than £3,000 in cash, and he was arrested.

“Mr Thompson has said that the total amount that his actions have cost the store is £20,980, due to him having to pay Camelot the value of the cards, and has had to take out loans and use his own funds to keep the store up and running.”

Bang to rights! A case even Essex Police couldn't fail to solve!

Barry Kogan, mitigating for Skarott, said his client has been a long time sufferer of depression and regretted his actions.

Mr Kogan said: “The defendant is deeply ashamed of himself and bitterly regrets what he did. He has apologised to Mr Thompson for letting him down so badly when he put his trust in him.

“The defendant can offer a repayment of £8,700 on this day, and is keen to make amends for his actions.

“He is a father of three children, all under six-years-old, who he looks after regularly, and it’s my case that he be granted a suspended sentence so he can maintain that relationship and continue working to pay back the money he took.”

Who do you think is going to employ him, then?

Judge Samantha Leigh (Ed: *winces*) handed Skarott a 12-month suspended prison sentence, along with 200 hours of unpaid work yesterday at Basildon Crown Court.

Addressing Skarott, she said: “It is my view that the most appropriate sentence is for you to remain out of prison so that you can continue working in order to repay back at least some of the funds taken from Mr Thompson, to ensure his business can be kept going.”

Are you going to employ him as Clerk of Court then, Samantha? Or maybe do some odd jobs around the house?

Police (Dog) Brutality

The attack happened following a police pursuit of a suspect through the Wandsworth area on Friday, April 12, which was reported by the Wandsworth Times on that date.

The pursuit resulted in the arrest of a 21-year-old man known as "Suspect A" on a number of offences including burglary, possession with intent to supply class A drugs and dangerous driving.

In the wake of the pursuit, the Wandsworth Times received reports that a bystander tending his nearby allotment had been attacked by a dog from a Metropolitan Police Dog Unit dispatched to search the vicinity.

This seems to happen all too frequently. Didn't the police handlers once get feted as the cream of the crop?

Hopefully there'll be CCTV to prevent the police from claiming the allotment-holder threatened them with a dibber.

Responding to a request for comment, a Met Police spokesperson confirmed that a police dog from the force had attacked a resident in the area on April 12.

The Met Police spokesperson said: "After arresting Suspect A, the Met’s Police Dog Unit carried out a search of the area as part of enquiries into the investigation.

"During this search, a police dog bit a member of the public on the leg in Steerforth Street, SW18."

The local reporters have the scent, and aren't going to give up:

The Met Police statement provided further details of the dog attack, highlighting how the victim was in his 80s and had been taken to hospital by the London Ambulance Service (LAS) with "possibly life-changing" injuries as a result of the dog's attack.

The last pensioner that a police dog attacked died. The coroner went to town on them. I guess more of those 'lessons that won't actually be learned', eh?

Well, You've Actually Done It, Chuka!

A cross-party Parliamentary panel on social integration (APPG)...is chaired by Change UK MP Chuka Umunna.

Gosh! What amazing ideas is it - formed to 'bring together people from different generations' - going to come up with, with this intellectual powerhouse at the helm?

Supermarkets are being urged to introduce a new 1p charge to use self-service machines...

The panel... claims £30million could be raised by the scheme to help fund community projects.

The report is called 'Heal the Generational Divide', apparently. Hmm...

The report suggests divisions exist between older and younger people, particularly around Brexit, with research claiming that both the younger and older generations would be happy for the other to suffer if it meant getting their own way.

It also proposed schemes including a 'Take Your Headphones Off Day', tax breaks for care home volunteers and a national post-retirement volunteering scheme to bring together more people of different ages.

It is unclear whether or not Change UK will adopt the proposals as official policy...

Hmm, well. Let''s see what people think.

The corner shop worker, who lives in Dartford, Kent, said: 'On the face of it then it doesn't sound a bad idea. Nobody is going to say they don't want to help the elderly –it's a win-win.

'But I don't think it will go down well with the younger generations. And the idea that could bring people together to help solve Brexit is just ludicrous.

'I don't think that could be done by anybody if I'm honest. I'm not sure charging people for doing something that has become such an ordinary part of everyday life will work.'

Mick Potter, 72, said it was a 'crazy idea' to think it could help bring people together over Brexit.

The pensioner, of Eltham, said: 'The young ones won't like it at all. If you see young people in this day and age they wouldn't give up a seat for an elderly person or help us out – so I don't think they'd support this.

'The idea it could help Brexit as well and bring people together is a farce. We have become the laughing stock of the world.

'I'm not sure I want to vote at the European elections because of what a joke it all is. The idea that charging people to use a self-service checkout is funding projects which in turn brings young and old together over Brexit is madness.

'Nobody can do that. I think the divide is too wide. We had the vote and that's it. People say well it's the younger people that will be the next generation but the vote was carried out three years ago.

'Some people find those machines confusing enough without people having to pay to use them. How would that work? '

People are taxed enough. 'What if the supermarkets wanted to take a cut?'

Luke Pollard, 25, of Gravesend, Kent, was also using the Eltham Sainsbury's and was not impressed with the idea. The student said: 'Isn't that why people pay the government taxes?

'I don't see how that's right. I know it's only 1p but it's more the principle behind it and the logic. Why should Parliament be getting people to pay more all the time?'

Full-time mother Cheryl Toon, 35, said she did not see how the proposals would work. Cheryl, of Dartford, Kent, said: 'I know it's not a lot of money but I don't think it's a good idea. 'It seems like a supermarket tax. I can't imagine the supermarket companies are happy about it.

'Isn't there more important things to be thinking about? Why isn't more focus being put it on actually sorting out Brexit? Rather than charging people because it's not been sorted.

'It's going to be normal members of the public paying for this and it's not normal members of the public who have made a complete mess out of Brexit – it's the politicians.'

Well done, Chuka! You've actually brought the generations together after all!

They are united. In thinking you're a useless waste of oxygen, just like all the rest of the shower of shits in Parliament...

The Eight Inch Serrated Divorce...

She told police following her arrest that her husband was controlling and had subjected her to years of physical and verbal aggression.

Yeah, that's the sort of thing you probably should say when the police burst in to find you standing over your dead husband who has a kitchen knife buried in his chest.

It doesn't usually work, but the #pussypass is in full effect. Despite her history.

Atay had previously been caught drink-driving and had been arrested for biting a nightclub doorman.

Poor, delicate little flower.

It's Different When It's Them, I See....

Judge Niclas Parry said: "If a dog can have previous, it's got it (Ed: so has the owner!)," as he raised concerns over the public cost to keep such animals in kennels during proceedings.

Kendrick shook his head in the dock as the judge told him to prepare for a custodial sentence and for his dog to be destroyed.

Wow! More like this judge, please! At least someone's interested in keeping ordinary people safe fr...

Oh. Hang on.

The 36-year-old of Greenfield Road, appeared in court last November after the dog bit a welder repeatedly on the arm at the Grant Works site at Greenfield Road in Holywell where Kendrick worked.

At the time, the court was told there had been a number of other incidents of the dog biting delivery drivers.

And little was done, clearly. Until this:

In September, when police went to the site in the early hours of the morning, an officer was chased by it and bitten on the behind.

Can't have your weapon dog mauling the boys in blue! Delivery drivers and ordinary members of the public, that can be laughed off, clearly...

I'll Save You The Trouble - He Can't.

Ashley Sullivan, 25, of no fixed abode, has been given “one last chance” to prove he can function in society as his sentence for a burglary was deferred.

The prognosis isn't good...

The court heard that concerns have been raised he may fall in to a “cycle of going in and out of prison” if he faced a custodial sentence.

And I guess the geniuses in the criminal justice 'service' figure they can prevent that by him not actually going in!

Sullivan, who has a history of crime and mental health issues, was handed a two-year conditional discharge in August last year after sparking a supermarket evacuation and stand off with police.

He admitted criminal damage and threatening and abusive behaviour following the frenzy at Asda, Eastgate Shopping Centre, Basildon.

But he was involved in a burglary at a home in Basildon just a month later on September 11.

Why not? He's been shown there are no consequences. And he's about to be shown that again.

Sullivan appeared at Basildon Crown Court yesterday for sentencing, although Judge Samantha Leigh (Ed: *groans*) deferred sentencing until September 27, but warned if any offences are committed he will be jailed.

Maybe. If she feels like it. She usually doesn't.

Sullivan has been held on remand, and the court heard that a doctor recommended against a prison sentence due to the “tough time” he had faced behind bars.

But a psychotherapist refused to see Sullivan and make a recommendation until he had proven he could “work with the community”.

At least someone in this sorry tale has realised the futility of continuing the charade...

John Caudle, defending, stated this was impossible while he was on remand, asking the judge to defer sentence leaving Sullivan “effectively at large”.

The court heard that Sullivan is committed to rehabilitation, and has highlighted a number of training courses and job opportunities to look into.

Not to actually do, you understand...

Mr Caudle added: “It will be a brave decision if your honour takes this course of action.

“But society will have benefited no end. It is a risk but he could be in a downward spiral.”

Society would 'benefit no end' if this utter waste of oxygen was taken round the back of the courtyard and a bullet put in its head.

And the same for Ashley.

Hmmm, Who's Reassured? Anyone? Beuller?

Jones was jailed for life, with a minimum term of six years.

Judge Cummings said: "You are now subject to two life sentences. You will serve a minimum of six years before you are eligible for parole. The authorities will then decide if you are eligible for release."

Wait, two life sentences...?

Jones used an illicit mobile to make the calls, which he threw out of the window when guards became suspicious.

Prison officers later recovered the phone. Jones was charged and found guilty of harassment on April 21 2017. He was released from prison on licence on October 16 2017.

What are his chances of being released yet again then, despite his persistent criminality? Pretty high, I'd say.

Should Have Gone Into The Police Force, Doc!

A GP is facing the sack after being accused of discriminating against a Muslim woman after 'asking her to remove her veil' during a consultation.

The patient claimed Dr Keith Wolverson, 52, told her he could not hear her explain what was wrong with her child because she was speaking through her niqab.

The doctor of 23 years then 'asked her to take it off' while all three were sat in a consultation room at Royal Stoke University Hospital.

...because then not only would you be able to demand she remove it, you could fine her when she didn't!

Police set up the camera on a van in east London which matches faces of passers-by with a database of wanted suspects, according to BBC Click.

One man walking past hid his face with his hat and jacket as he spotted the camera in Romford.

He was later handed a fine for disorderly behaviour, the clip shows.

See? If it wasn't for double standards, the State wouldn't have any standards at all.

Christ, What Are The Worst Like?!?

Someone at the 'Echo' needs to look up the word 'juxtaposition'...

Headline Error

Errr, well, actually, not anymore he doesn't...

Sunday Funnies...

Politicians ae massive hypocrites, eh? Fancy...

Useful Idiots Again...

Jacob Berkson from Brighton Migrant Solidarity, the protesters who clashed with police this afternoon, said: “The protest is about preventing immigration snatching people from our community and putting them indefinitely in detention.

“We are a peaceful resistance to a hostile environment.

“We’re here to support these people so [immigration officers] will think twice before coming back to our town.”

'Your' town? It seems you're determined to make it someone else's town....

The Home Office said the 17 men arrested for immigration offences presented themselves as Albanian, Indian, Ukrainian and Kazakhstani.

In other words, no-one's quite sure what they really are. So, what about those swinging fines for companies employing illegals, then?

A spokeswoman for U&I said: "We are committed to ethical practice and our contracts with construction contractors require that they abide by employment and immigration law and that all site personnel are qualified to come on site.

"We are aware that Home Office officials have visited the site this morning, and we are unable to provide any further details until their investigation is complete.’’

By which time you're hoping it'll be quietly forgotten.

Oh, It's An 'Affront To The Justice System' All Right!

A policeman who let a dangerous 'ticking timebomb' dog off its lead before it attacked an innocent athlete will not be prosecuted.

*blinks*

PC Youll took Ilko to the National Trust park near his home on June 6 and let him off the lead - allegedly against protocol.

Ilko then attacked Mr Taylor and refused to respond to orders from PC Youll.

 Hmmm. There's a lot of this going about lately, isn't there?

Ilko was put down shortly after the attack.

PC Youll was to stand trial this week but a judge has ruled it would be an 'affront to the justice system' if a prosecution was to go ahead after hearing of failings by Cleveland Police and the dog's former owner - West Mercia Police.

Ooh, I think this might turn out to be rather familiar territory, somehow...

The animal carried out a vicious attack while serving for West Mercia Police in 2011 but the force failed to fully share details when it offloaded Ilko to Cleveland Police in a cut-price deal.

Cleveland Police also then failed to properly share details of the dog's background to PC Youll, the judge found.

Well, well, well....

The abuse of process hearing was told how Ilko carried out an unprovoked attack at a training exercise at West Mercia in October 2011.

A police observer was put in hospital after the attack left deep wounds.

Hey, it was just 'unexpectedly detaining' him, wasn't it?

But internal emails from West Mercia confirmed the force knew the animal posed a risk before the sale to Cleveland. West Mercia suspended Ilko's licence and carried out a safety assessment.

The force's emails said: 'If things went wrong again, there would be no backing from the force, especially in the current climate'. The assessment concluded the dog was 'unpredictable in nature and does pose a risk when deployed in certain operational roles'.

It said: 'The dog has shown it can bite without provocation. It would not be appropriate to offer a licence for this dog.'

Ilko was removed from service in October 24, 2011 three days before being sold to Cleveland.

I'm only astonished it wasn't given as a pet to a serving police officer!

West Mercia emails also detailed how the force wanted to recoup its money. They read: 'With the current financial climate we are not in a financial position to simply buy another dog. If we can sell the dog we may be in a position to purchase another.'

PC Youll's barrister Selvaraju Ramasamy said the force had two options, which were also detailed in the emails. The first was to 'see if the breeder would want to take the dog back'.

The second was to 'see if there is anyone interested from the police or prison service, in my mind he would make a good attack dog'.

So knowing they had an unpredictable animal they couldn't fully control, they were prepared to give it back (or sell it back) to a civilian, or to another farce?

Hmmm. I wonder what the law would say were they to knowingly sell a defective police car..?

...merely days after Ilko was deemed a risk, Cleveland Police bought him for the slashed price of £1,200 on October 27, 2011.

'In 2011, PC Youll meets Ilko, because Cleveland Police buys the dog from West Mercia Police,' Mr Ramasamy said. 'They bought the dog for £1,200, which is interesting as West Mercia were after £1,800 to £2,000, so somehow the price has come down, one wonders why that is?'

One does indeed, Mr Ramasamy, one does indeed...

Ilko was put to work in Teesside and was given to PC Youll as a replacement dog, after his original had to be put down for biting him.

Speechless Firefly GIF from Speechless GIFs

It's probably just as well that he didn't take the stand, or we'd no doubt find out he's less a rugged PC Snow type, more a bit like PC Baines...

Responding to the outcome of the latest hearing, a Cleveland Police spokesman said: 'The judgment of the court is welcome and comes at the end of what has been a very upsetting period for the officer involved.

He's the victim, people!

'Throughout this process we have been mindful that whatever the outcome a member of the public was injured by what was at the time a Cleveland Police dog and we would reassure our communities that lessons have been learned.'

Who the hell would be reassured by this, given they seem incapable of it?

"“...there’s a real richness and uniqueness at this school which is not commonplace in Kent.”"

Thus quoth executive head of Pilgrim's Way School Graham Chisnell.

Just 18 months ago, Pilgrims’ Way School was reeling from a damning Ofsted report, which said an “unprecedented” influx of children from a deprived London borough had contributed to its struggle.

But as the school faces a potential new intake from the same council, academy bosses say it has the space and is much better-equipped to cope with its multi-cultural pupils' background.

It'll need to be - they speak 25 different languages. And a third only speak English as a second or third language.

Its chief, meanwhile, speaks pure Common Purpose bollocks:

...he and his staff are embracing the school’s multi-cultural make-up, which he says brings a unique and rewarding learning experience for its children.

“We are now well-versed in supporting children from a variety of cultures,” he said

“To have that social diversity will be a really valuable thing for our children as they grow and learn.”

I bet if you asked him just why Kent needs this 'enriching', he'd struggle to answer...

H/T: Trickybroon via Twitter

I'm Guessing It Wasn't Parsley, Sage, Rosemary And Thyme..?

His mother Rebecca said she is “living a nightmare”.

They said Mr Potter had his troubles with police but was “maturing” and spending time at the gym. He had a passion for picking herbs.

Hmmmm, well, herbal things, anyway.

Gasson had claimed he was acting in self defence as he believed Mr Potter held a knife to his throat while trying to steal his drugs.

But witnesses did not see a knife being used by Mr Potter, who died from his injuries in nearby Watson Close in November last year.

Gasson told police: “I saw red, I had no control. It was all like instinct.”

Aren't humans supposed to rise above animal instinct?

After a three-week trial at Hove Crown Court, a jury found him guilty of murder and of possessing a knife in public.

Gasson separately admitted possessing cocaine with intent to supply.

Judge Jeremy Gold QC jailed him for life, with a minimum term of 15 years.

NHI..

Warning Colouration

A mother tired of the disapproving glances and barbed comments her five-year-old with autism receives has designed a clothing range to alert people to his behaviour.

Err, doesn't his behaviour itself alert people to that?

What she really means, of course, is 'alert people to the excuse' for his behaviour.

“When we go out, it doesn’t look like there’s anything wrong with him – he looks like a normal run-of-the-mill kid,” the 41-year-old said.

“Oscar does have unpredictable behaviour, though. He gets lots of looks and gets called naughty by adults.

“We’ve had ‘for god’s sake, shut up’ because he can really scream. We have experienced people saying to us before ‘if he were mine, he’d be getting a smack’.

“I’ve also been in meetings where Oscar isn’t referred to by his name and is only talked about when people say ‘what’s wrong with him’. It’s really offensive.”

People out for a quiet shop or walk probably think having their ears assaulted by a screaming child is pretty offensive, love.

The label sells t-shirts for children and adults emblazoned with messages like “be kind I have autism” and “unpredictable and amazing”.

“It’s about informing people in a really gentle way that he may need a wide berth when we’re out,” she explained.

Yes, that's right. She really believes that it's everyone else's responsibility to change their direction and not her's to ensure her child doesn't aggravate other people. Ain't it always the way, latesly?

When Life Hands You Lemons...

...errr, hold on!:

Officers were called to reports of an acid attack in Chequers Lane, Dagenham, at around 2.50pm yesterday (Wednesday).

Emergency services attended and found a 29-year-old woman suffering with a sting to her eye.

Pretty weak acid?

It was later confirmed that a substance was thrown over her and a 38-year-old man, who was not injured.

A Met Police spokeswoman said that the liquid was believed to be a citrus juice.

Curiouser and curiouser.

"Freeze! Social Media Squad!"

Gloucestershire police has announced they will start to tackle a 'small but vocal' number of people on social media who spout racist and xenophobic statements on their posts.

They have described noticing 'over the past year or so' a minority 'making assumptions' about people based on the colour of their skin or 'name that's not traditional.'

Since when were people unable to make assumptions? That's pretty much what Facebook's for, isn't it?

And 'they've noticed'..? I thought they had to have a complaint before they acted?

But no, this is all to do with their own social media.

The post on the constabulary's Facebook page notes that Gloucestershire police are often 'told to deport' offenders - despite commenters not knowing anything about their citizenship.

They added the team who manages the force's social media will start considering blocking regular commenters who post comments of this nature.

They have a team doing this. A whole team! Devoting taxpayer-paid time to blocking people on Facebook whose opinions they don't like!

Who joins the police to tap away at a keyboard, instead of nicking villains?

And when they've finished tidying up their Facebook page like a self-absorbed teenager, perhaps they'll spare some time to hunt down aggravated burglary suspects or sort out abandoned vehicles a bit quicker?

*Looks Up The Word 'Serious' In The Dictionary*

Kosar Othman Mohammed, 39, of Cranemoor Close, Birmingham, and employee Karwan Kamil Salh, 19, of Livingstone Road, Handsworth, Birmingham, pleaded guilty to charges of sale and possession for sale of illegal and counterfeit tobacco at Europe Quality Food in Brookend Street, Ross-on-Wye.

Trading Standards seized about 31,000 illegal foreign non UK-duty and counterfeit cigarettes.

Magistrates viewed the matter as serious...

Well, yes!

...and handed down community penalties to Mohammed and Salh of 240 and 180 hours unpaid work respectively. Both men were ordered to pay £983 each in costs.

A fraction of the tax they evaded. One wonders what they'd have got if the magistrates didn't view it as 'serious'...?

H/T: Fahrenheit211 via Gab

Like A Solitary Snowflake In A Coal Cellar....

Bradford. Twinned with Islamabad.

We, The Public, Have Considered Your Proposal...

A public boycott of social media may be the only way to force companies to protect children from abuse, the country’s leading child protection police officer has said.

...and the answer is a hearty "Fuck off!"

Simon Bailey, the National Police Chiefs’ Council lead on child protection, said tech companies had abdicated their duty to safeguard children and were only paying attention due to fear of reputational damage.

Just like the police when they finally get off their lazy backsides and do some real police work you mean?

“We have got to look at how we drive a conversation within our society that says ‘do you know what, we are not going to use that any more, that system or that brand or that site’ because of what they are permitting to be hosted or what they are allowing to take place.”

Bit dangerous, isn't it? We might start to get the idea that we could do the same to other organisations that are not living up to our expectations.

At least Facebook or Twitter don't have their greedy hands in my tax return. Can't really say the same for you.

Now Watch As The Owner Escapes Justice...

Det Insp Steve Hambly from Devon and Cornwall Police said: "The dog involved in the incident was put down last Wednesday with the full consent of his owner, having previously been housed by police since the day of the incident."

Det Insp Hambly told Plymouth Live the decision followed discussions with the dog's owner, taking into account a number of factors including the ongoing welfare of the dog and the nature of the investigation.

I suspect that they are preparing the ground to announce she won't be charged.

The dog had been taken into kennels and specialists were examining exactly what breeds of dog were part of its make-up to determine whether it was legal or not.

It was thought the animal was a bulldog, but it has now been confirmed it was a crossbreed.

I wonder if they've tested the other beast she owns?

It was unclear whether checks were carried out on her other dog.

The ugly mutt is the one on the left... 

That'll be 'No' then. And not surprisingly, since Devon & Cornwall Police Farce seems not to understand the new DDA:

...because the animal is not a banned breed Devon & Cornwall Police say the matter is out of its hands.

It doesn't have to be a banned breed, you useless, lazy, incompetent filth.

Christ, are they so desperate for police officers down there in Scrumpy Land they hire single digit IQ morons who can't read?

A spokesperson for Devon & Cornwall Police told Devon Live: "This incident didn’t involve a banned breed, owners actions not deemed criminal, therefore this is dog versus dog and our powers essentially stop at voluntarily control orders.

"If both parties don’t agree then this will need to go to the magistrates to consider a Dog Control Order which can include action such as muzzling, the magistrates can also consider alternative conditions to be adhered to."

A spokesperson for this blog said: "Melvin's right, you are all useless wastes of oxygen, and I wouldn't stop to assist if I saw any of you getting a kicking."

"Hey Siri, Show Me 'Devaluing'..."

Black students are failing to apply to Cambridge because there is a lack of Afro-Caribbean hairdressers in the city, the university’s pro-vice-Chancellor has said.

I don't know what's dafter, that excuse or the idea of a 'pro-vice-Chancellor'...

But lest you hurt yourself laughing, apparently, this is not just some excuse dreamed up by wackademics:

“We have been doing some quite detailed research, particularly with black students, particularly in London, looking at obstacles to applying to Cambridge and thinking about Cambridge.

And number three on the list was hairdressers,” he said.

I'm almost afraid to ask what numbers 1 and 2 were...

Universities are under pressure from the higher education regulator to admit more students from ethnic minorities and disadvantaged backgrounds.

One of the single most defining choices you'll make in your life, and you worry about getting your hair done? You aren't worthy of university.

But some moron with a degree will make sure you get one, anyway.

When You Need To Get A Headline In....

...but there's just not enough space, what do you do?

Ah! That's it. Invent a new measure of time!

Back in 10 nutes, folks.

Permission Maligns Malls. Who Knew?

Just how many errors can a 'Daily Mail' story contain? Let's find out!

So..many..../facepalms!

H/T: Stephen Brown via email

Sunday Funnies...

My take from this? Some people will steal anything...

What's In A Name?

Met detectives have proposed introducing licences for...

Dogs? Cyclists?

...“Rambo knives” amid concerns that a growing number are being used in stabbings.

But most stabbings are ordinary kitchen knives.

The Offensive Weapons Bill, expected to come into law later this year, will make retailers check the age of anyone purchasing a knife before handing over an online order at a residential address. It will also ban possession of weapons such as zombie knives and knuckledusters.

Wait, so one named type of knife will be banned, and another licenced? Won't they just rename them to get around the licensing?

But officers said there are legitimate reasons for buying a hunting knife and more could be done to stop dangerous blades getting onto the street.

They have discussed the possibility of licences with the Home Office to make them less easy to get hold of.

Like guns.

Errrr....

Hang on. I've detected a flaw.

Detective Inspector Nathan Munson, of the Community Safety Unit based in Newham, said: “The Offensive Weapons Bill will prohibit zombie knives, but they are not the main problem. It is the survival knives.”

Oh, Nathan, ten seconds after this scheme launches, they'll all be  'hunting knives' anyway!

He added that although kitchen knives may be easier to obtain, they are not made to kill — survival knives will cause more damage.

They might not be made to kill, but they are doing pretty well at it.

Here's a thought - rather than wrestle over definitions of the weapons used, why not concentrate on the person wielding that weapon?

H/T: StateControl via Twitter

Science In The Age Of Wokeness....

Ton van Raan, a professor emeritus of quantitative science studies at Leiden University in the Netherlands, first likened the belated discovery of an academic work to the story of the Brothers Grimm fairytale some 15 years ago.

His colourful explanation was picked up by other leading scientists in the intervening years, making it a mainstay of academic discussion of the how crucial academic papers are often only seized upon decades after publication.

That phrase being 'Sleeping Beauty'. But then...

Van Raan said he was amazed when his latest work on medical articles was rejected in an email within hours of submission by the Journal of the Association for Information Science and Technology on the grounds that the term “sleeping beauties” was “unacceptable”.

The journal’s managing editor referred Van Raan to a lengthy explanation by editors in which it was claimed that the metaphor did not aid explanation and “the use of any such terms, despite connections to historical roots in the literature, should be avoided”.

The journal further argued that the story of Sleeping Beauty, in which a princess is put to sleep for 100 years until woken by a prince’s kiss, would not be immediately recognisable to academics worldwide.

Really? Even with the ubiquitous presence of the Disney version?

“The use of metaphors is complicated by socio-cultural factors and may not adequately translate across borders,” the journal explained.

 I think you meant 'opined'.

Van Raan said he could understand the discomfort with some uses of the metaphor but that the broad-brush ban was an unfortunate act of “political correctness”.

Of course it is. And - as David Thompson reminds us - the world of academe is nothing if not prone to kow-towing to such ridiculous concepts:

“I was always sober with the metaphor,” Van Raan said. “There was the sleeping beauty, the prince. And that is it. No fantasies.”

He said he had noted that a Belgian colleague had since used the phrase “hibernator” rather than sleeping princess and “awakener” for the role of the prince.

“I wrote to these authors to tell them, ‘You have capitulated’. Hibernator? It is like something out of Stanley Kubrick’s Space Odyssey,” Van Raan said.

“What is amazing is that they said it was culturally discriminatory because not everyone on this planet knows about this fairytale.”

No, what's amazing is that you haven't fallen into line. Yet.

Incapable Of Learning...

A Sheffield councillor needed an operation and plastic surgery after being viciously bitten by a dog while out leafleting.

Former Lord Mayor Denise Fox had reconstructive surgery on her right index finger after a dog attacked her when she put her hand through a letterbox.

/facepalm

The dog owner has been given a warning by police.

Clearly, they realised there was no point warning her! If she didn't heed all the other reports, that is.

Some politicians push leaflets through letterboxes with wooden spoons, sticks or umbrellas to avoid dog bites.

I guess she's just thick.

A few years ago, three political campaigners had the ends of their fingers bitten off by dogs while leafleting during the local elections.

Diana Stimely, Sue Ross and Michael Nicholson all needed operations.

Who'd elect a councillor who can't avoid the totally avoidable?

"To learn who rules over you, simply find out who you are not allowed to criticize..."

Chief inspector John Charlton of GMP’s Bolton district said: “Those who think they can hide behind a keyboard and disseminate this kind of harmful material should expect to be investigated."

Paedophile material?

Terrorist threats?

More anti-semitism from Labour?

Two videos being shared on Facebook of a man pretending to pray to 'Aladdin' in a Muslim prayer room are being investigated as a hate crime.

Well, John, you're gonna be a busy boy, aren't you? Snap to it, son!

A woman from Halliwell who is visiting the hospital said she recognised the room immediately when she was shown the video.

She said: "It's weird to me that people would do that and share it publicly, like it's something normal, it's not normal."

When it's the art world doing it, it's perfectly normal. Even celebrated.

H/T: KeyserSosse via Twitter

I Thought Pitbulls Would Be Phased Out...?

Maxine Chapman failed to keep her dog, called Tank, “under proper control” near her home in Craven Road in Brighton.

Brighton and Hove City Council’s animal warden brought a prosecution against her at the magistrates’ court last month.

Wow! A council official doing their job! As rare as a chave with a cocker spaniel, that is...

She has agreed to a court order stating six actions she must take, otherwise Tank could be put down.

He must be muzzled while outside her home, even in a garden. He must be kept on a lead no longer than six feet away, and can only be walked by her, Jack Chapman, or a trained dog behaviour expert.

Chapman must get insurance to cover £5 million of liability, and get Tank microchipped.

The dog must also be castrated if this has not already happened, and proof from the vet must be given to the council.

All things you need to comply with under the DDA to legally own a pitbull or pitbull type dog. I pity the neighbours.

The Commenters Ask The Question, So I Don't Have To...

After watching CCTV footage of the incident caught on camera at a nearby house, Mr Gregory, said: "We are devastated and heartbroken, and my mum is traumatised by what happened.

"I'm surprised she never had a heart attack. It must have been so frightening and shocking to see.

"I could see the dog going berserk before my mum and Jasper came into shot - it was jumping around as it was trying to break free from the owner.

"My mum kept to the inside of the pavement but as the dog tried to bite Jasper, he started barking at the other dog.

"At this point, you could see them both pulling on their leads but the other owner was completely overpowered by her dog, who eventually detached itself from its collar.

"He sunk his teeth into Jasper and was just shaking him around like a ragdoll. It was really difficult to watch.

"My mum was trying to pull him back, but then Jasper detached from his collar too. He bolted down the road and the other dog went after him.

"The dog is not safe to be out without a muzzle, it could attack a child next."

Or a child trying to defend it's own pet.

But if you're wondering why the police aren't involved, you're not alone.

The RSPCA don't miss a trick, though:

The RSPCA Cymru said it is "vital" owners do all they can to ensure their dogs are under "proper control" at all times.

No shit, Sherlock!

A spokesman, said: "Our thoughts are with the injured dog and their owners at this time; and we of course wish the dog a speedy and full recovery from the reported injuries.

"Sadly, dog-on-dog attacks can prove fatal and it is vital owners do all they can to meet their responsibilities, and ensure their dogs are under proper control at all times.

"It is vital owners understand the circumstances likely to lead to their dog being aggressive and also the signs of potential aggressive behaviour in their dogs, and how to respond.

"Keeping dogs on a lead in appropriate places can also reduce the risk of incidents associated with aggressive behaviours.

"We urge anyone concerned that their dog may be aggressive to contact a properly qualified professional behaviourist, with the appropriate knowledge, skills and experience, for help and advice."

And I'm sure the RSPCA would be happy to recommend one. Probably one who works for them!

"Neighbours, everybody loves good neighbours..."

The neighbour of a business leader has admitted he was behind the brutal attack that left him in hospital for several weeks.

Shahed Mahmood was rushed to hospital in a critical condition after he was punched by Mohammed Shazad Akram following a row over a parking space.

It's the Religion of Peace, don'tchaknow...

Defending the 28-year-old, Simeon Evans said: “There was an argument – Mr Mahmood had come to the defendant’s house to deal with an issue to do with parking.

“As my client tried to usher Mr Mahmood away, he [Mahmood] made a very hurtful and upsetting comment about his dead brother.

“The two males were standing very closely together and Mr Akram believed that Mr Mahmood was going to move his arm towards him. He then struck one blow to Mr Mahmood’s face.

“I have to accept that there are aggravating features in this case – the location of the offence, the ongoing effects on the victim, and the presence of other people in the area.

“But he has no previous convictions, it was a single blow and he has shown evidence of remorse.”

Hah! As if that'll wor...

Oh.

Judge Sara Dodd commented on the neighbourly dispute, saying that both involved parties were ‘probably thoroughly good men’.

Akram pleaded guilty to inflicting GBH and was released on conditional bail. He will be sentenced on June 12.

*sighs*

Gavin's Played 'Sim City' Then, And Kevin Hasn't...?

Councillors in Basildon are divided over whether the government should scrap planning rules that allow offices and industrial buildings to be converted into homes without planning permission - known as permitted developments.

What are the issues, then?

Basildon Labour party leader Gavin Callaghan said: “I am of the opinion that reforms are needed to make this work.

“In theory permitted developments are a good idea and can expedite the process of getting more homes built and more people onto the property or private rented ladder.

“However, in practice they put huge pressures on local infrastructure. For example, the increased traffic flows around Cherrydown East and Cherrydown West and the bowl car park near the station from the Trafford House development, was never properly accounted for.

“Under the current scheme, we cannot hand on heart say that the road, rail or public service infrastructure will be in place to cope with large scale changes from office blocks to residential housing units. Added to that is a question about what this does to the culture of a community.

“If an area of the town is earmarked for commercial office units but becomes residential housing because that’s more profitable for the landlord, then the foundations of our economic development and commercial offers to business, is immediately undermined.”

Well, well, well. Someone's a gamer! And...someone's not:

Tory deputy council leader Kevin Blake said: “A conversion like Trafford House in Basildon has been very successful and has brought in income to the town centre.

“Providing a conversion is done in a nice way, with a good design I don’t see why we shouldn’t build on these sites.

“I don’t see why there would be an issue relating to this as there are far bigger things to worry about. Developers should of course be ensuring that they look at infrastructure, parking and greenery.”

They don't make money on those, so why would they?

Taking The Credit...

RSPCA animal collection officer Joe White said: “These poor chinchillas are not in a good way, but thankfully it seems they were found just in time and are now getting the treatment they need.

"It’s terrible to think somebody deliberately dumped these 11 little animals, leaving them to fend for themselves. They were really lucky to be found.

"Anything could have happened to them, especially the babies, whoever dumped them was hardly giving them a chance. They were really lucky to be found and we’re so grateful to the people who kept them safe and called us for help."

Oh, hurrah for the RSPCA, who rushed to the scene and...

Hang on.

Karen rang the RSPCA who were unable to help immediately so she took them to the South Essex Wildlife Hospital, in Orsett, for treatment.

She added: “They made sure they got health checks from the vets and then they will be putting them up for adoption to find them a new home.”

Hey, Joe White, I smell smoke. Have you checked your underwear?

Anyone Care For A Little Wager?

A man who was Tasered while carrying a samurai sword faces prison after admitting another offence.

John Gunn had admitted possessing the “katana” Japanese sword at Three Bridges railway station in December.

Hmmm.... Is it me, or does that name ring a bell?

The 27-year-old builder was due to be sentenced at Brighton Crown Court last month by Judge Shani Barnes.

She was angry with Gunn because he missed a meeting with the probation service because he still smelled of alcohol from the night before.

Oh yes! It's coming back to me now.

She agreed to adjourn the sentencing hearing.

But just days later Gunn admitted possessing a lock knife in public near his home in Breydon Walk, Crawley.

Gunn, who has seven convictions for 18 offences, now faces the sentencing hearing tomorrow (May 7).

One wonders why she couldn't see what he was without 'reports'. But some women have trouble spotting a bad 'un, even when it's written all over his face.

Place your bets, ladies and gentlemen. What will he get?