Tweet Of The Month

The Coronation provided a rich seam indeed...

Post Title Of The Month

Bill Sticker riffs on 'The Prisoner', rather appropriately...

Quote Of The Month

Fahrenheit211 uncovers yet another front in the ongoing transgender war...

"Up until relatively recently Childline has been a pretty uncontroversial organisation. After all helping abused or stressed children and young people get help is a basic moral imperative and something that any reasonable person can get behind no matter what their political, religious or cultural viewpoint may be.

But, according to the therapist and campaigner for the rights of women and children, James Esses, there is now something rotten in Childline. That rottenness is the increasing inclusion in Childline’s policies of the cult of Gender Identity."

Post Of The Month

Longrider on the government's attempt to cripple encryption, another policy doomed to abject failure...

And recommended by CJ Nerd via email, LegIron looks for the money...

It's Just A Lunatic Asylum By The Sea, Isn't It?

...a vigil will be held outside Brighton Police Station in John Street at the start of next month.

Oh, what's this for? What have Brighton Police done..?  

There will be a vigil in the city to commemorate two dogs which were killed by the Met Police. The two animals were shot dead by specialist firearms officers in Poplar, east London earlier this month.

*blinks* 

Amanda Ridgway, who organised the vigil, told The Argus: "This incident is really shocking and has upset people across the nation."

The only 'shocking' thing about it is the police finally taking no chances and acting as they should have acted in so many other cases... 

"The vigil will be peaceful and in remembrance of the dogs. It will give the people of Brighton an opportunity to grieve."

The incoming Mayor of Brighton and Hove will be in attendance.

There will be candle lighting, a minute's silence and speeches.

Ms Ridgway said she thought at least 200 people would be there.

Do we have 200 places in mental health facilities for them? Oh, wait, make that 201 - the incoming Mayor needs a place too. 

"'...you would think with all those people they would be able to manage it without tying her down.'"

Spoken like someone who has absolutely no experience of dealing with someone in the throes of dementia. Lucky person...

The Met police had been called to the block of flats on May 9 following disruption between the woman and her carer.

Presumably she got aggressive or violent and the carer either wasn't trained to cope, or it was so bad she had no other choice but to call police.  

The elderly woman, described as thin and small, is said to have panicked and began ranting at police. She also threw cups of coffee at officers, the paper reported. She was later handcuffed with a hood chucked over her head...

Being spat on is utterly disgusting, whether it's an urban yoof resisting arrest, or a demented woman. Should the police have just put up with it? 

Former Met commander John O'Connor said that the treatment of the old woman by the officers was 'beyond comprehension' and said it should have been dealt with my (sic) medical professionals 'who knew what they were doing'.

Excellent answer, John! Now, do tell me the number police should call to get these 'medical professionals' to come out and deal with it instead?

John...?

You've gone a bit quiet, John. Is it because you know that no such team or service currently exists? 

I wonder if you were paid for your time shitting on your former colleagues, Maybe instead of answering the questions, you should have asked a few, instead? 

Like who else, other than police, existed to take this role on when the carer called for help? 

Or why a 91 year old with florid dementia wasn't in a care home (I can guess - they are expensive, and councils would rather not spend the money if they can get away with not spending it)?

Is It Really 'Shocking' By Now?

Another one:

A Metropolitan Police officer has been sacked without notice after being convicted of sexually assaulting a child at a party.

In another shocking case involving a serving police officer, the Met said a misconduct hearing found PC Farhan Ghadiali had breached the standards of professional behaviour in relation to discreditable conduct.

No reference to being a 'poster boy' with this one though.

That's Just Greedy!

A Liberal Democrat councillor who was set to represent two places - more than 150 miles away from each other - is expected to resign from one.

Blimey, his travel expense claims will bankrupt both councils! 

Chris Twells won Tetbury with Upton in Gloucestershire despite already representing Ordsall in north-west England. Following his Cotswold District Council victory, Mr Twells said he would begin the process of resigning from Ordsall.

Oh, maybe not... 

It comes after his candidacy sparked controversy in both areas.

That's the LibDems for you, showing an unerring instinct for upsetting everyone they can! 

H/T: Ian J via email

Guess What'll Happen..?

The Metropolitan police will no longer attend emergency calls related to mental health incidents, the force’s commissioner has said.

Oh..? 

In a letter seen by the Guardian, Sir Mark Rowley says he will order his officers not to attend thousands of calls they get every year to deal with mental health incidents.

Rowley has given health and social care services a deadline of 31 August before the force starts its ban, which will only be waived if a threat to life is feared.

So, 'a threat to life' will be reported, of course! Because no-one ever gets reported for misleading the police, do they?

Nailed It Again!

That Matt, he's a national treasure...

Tip: Don't Write Local Newspaper Articles When You've Been On The Beer...

...and as a result, can't use Google or find a hardcopy map. 

Because your readers can!

H/T: Ian J via email

Sunday Funnies...

What better time for shenanigans?

Awkward...

She didn't show much 'community leadership' did she?!

Oh, How We All Laughed!

Former Vice President Mike Pence: 

Former Tesco chairman John Allan:

'It would be ironic if men ended up with male chaperones because they felt they couldn't have a conversation with a woman without having someone with them who could testify that nothing untoward had happened.'

Who's laughing now..? 

Not Really, Marc, No...

Det Supt Marc Bowes, of West Yorkshire police, who led the investigation, said it was a crime that had shocked people across the UK.

Hardly. We're getting used to it by now. This is merely the latest.

“It will be hard for many of us to comprehend how what appears to have been a relatively low-level dispute has resulted in these males stabbing a fellow student to death at the end of an otherwise ordinary school day.”

Who are you kidding? Look at 'these males':

 

The only real surprise is it wasn't London...

Hard To Argue, Isn't It?

Sometimes you see something that sums up the state of play in the UK. And this is one of those times.

"Please Continue Your Exercises In Futility..."

Residents took to social media to warn others.

One anonymous member on a Facebook group said: “Just driving back from Hornchurch, creeping along to the Drill roundabout when I saw a group of 4 boys harassing a woman as she was walking past them.

“I had my window down as it was quite warm, and as I drove past, they chucked Lucozade in through the open window."

Another member shared that a group of boys screamed at her 82-year-old mum, and when she retaliated, they were threatened with physical abuse.

Oh, if only we had a branch of uniformed public servants who could speed to the scene to nip this sort of thing in the bud... 

The Met Police spokesperson said: “We can confirm that we are aware of a group of male youths in the area of Gidea Park being abusive toward pedestrians and motorists.

"A report has been made, but there have been no arrests made.

“We urge local residents to report any instances of anti-social behaviour or crime via 101 or call 999 in an emergency.”

Why would they do that, though? 

And The Wait When You Do Is Even Longer!

A third of Britons who have concerns about whether they, or a loved one, might have dementia wait more than a month to discuss their worries with others, a leading charity has found, despite early diagnosis being important for treatment, support and planning.

And when, like me, you do report to your GP that your mother is showing symptoms? You then wait a year and a half for any investigation to take place! Desprite regular chivvying of the surgery...

The survey, which was conducted between 30 March and 4 April and completed by people for whom either themselves or a loved one have suspected or diagnosed dementia, also suggested nearly a quarter of respondents took more than six months before consulting a medical professional.

Probably takes that long to get through to the surgery.

So, It Takes Two To Tango...

...but apparently only one to breach the peace:

When they say 'further action' you just know they aren't talking about the eco-loons, don't you? The observers to their actions certainly do:

During the struggle, the officer says: 'You are f*****g assaulting people'.

The van's driver shouts at the officers to 'get off my truck' while a passing taxi driver shouts out of his window that it is 'absolutely disgusting'.

Another person, who cannot be seen on camera, tells the officers to 'give the guy a break, he's just trying to get to work'.

They've forgotten they police by consent. As the commenters at Longrider's site point out, this won't end well.  

Deputy Assistant Commissioner Laurence Taylor said: 'I completely understand the frustration and anger of London's communities when protesters walk slowly in the roads and must wonder why we do not just arrest them.

'Police have legal obligations connected with our response to protest and we must police peaceful protest in a proportionate manner.'

Blocking the highway is not 'peaceful protest', and you know that all too well. 

'Therefore, I urge people not to intervene and to let police deal with the situation.'

We've seen that you aren't prepaared to, though. 

No, Actually, Because Of Their Own Actions...

The police should have said "Of course we were chasing the little toerags, it’s our bloody job to chase nuisance bikers, and they’d still be alive if they’d stopped, or maybe just been wearing helmets..."

But they forgot that it's the cover-up that does for you, always.

Witnesses are now blasting the 'lying' police force for 'bullying' local youths as residences (sic) warn the community has 'lost confidence in the police'.

The police probably didn't have any confidence in the so-called 'community' to lose by now...

'My nephew and his best mate are dead because they chased him on a little electric motorbike,' Kyrees' uncle told The Times.

Harvey's godmother, Bridy Bool, insisted the boys had done nothing to spark a police 'chase', adding: 'They were bare-faced innocent children.'

 Errr, yeah, if you say so...

If you can't tell someone's true character by the company they keep, you certainly can by who turns up to 'mourn':

Jane Palmer watched from a window as people set fire to her car, saying: 'I'm disabled so now I'm trapped without my car. Why are they doing this? It's just silly.'

Another resident alleged the riots were caused by 'lots of children' who were being 'encouraged' by adults.

'It was very scary,' one local told The Mirror. 'There was a lot of people. Lots of children, I was very surprised at how many children and how many adults encouraging them. They were throwing stuff at the police.'

You shouldn't have been surprised, though, should you? 

On The Contrary, They Are All Too Believable...

The source said senior executives had grown accustomed to calling the shots at the commission but this changed when Baroness Falkner took over to provide 'real leadership'.

And that's not going to reverse the effects of that long march! Not now they've stopped marching and dug in, anyway... 

'The pettiness of the allegations is unbelievable, including someone rolling their eyes at a certain time and someone speaking on a topic for too long,' they added.

'We've been sucked into a school playground vortex.

'There are pages of it – on one page it says she didn't control the meeting well enough, and on the other it says she was too controlling.'

Of course! The point of the exercise is not to provide proof, it's to scream and tantrum until they get what they want. If it's a school playground, it's a primary one... 

'The timing is extremely questionable. There is no doubt in my mind that this is ideologically motivated and is a way to take a scalp in revenge.

'She is the woman breaking woke and now they are trying to break her.'

And they will probably succeed.  

Which 'Public' Would Be Interested In Keeping Him, Then?

Despite Kodra's conviction for managing a brothel, possessing criminal property and possession of false ID he has been told he can remain in Britain.

I should be speechless, but... 

Upholding his appeal against deportation on human rights grounds, Judge Cordella Bart-Stewart said: 'There is no evidence that he poses a risk to the public.

'He is a clever and industrious young man with the potential to contribute much to society. He has a home here and support.'

Remember when we were told female judges would bring a unique perspective to their role and ensure women and children would be recognised and their rights upheld? Wonder if this was what they meant... 

'He would be able to work. I find that the public interest does not require the appellant to be deported from the United Kingdom.'

Really? Are we short of home-grown criminal talent, then? 

She also noted that he had 'severe haemophilia' and would not have access to the same level of treatment in Albania – affecting his life expectancy.

Kodra claimed asylum in the UK when he was 15 and was granted limited leave to remain before appealing to extend it in 2017.

After an initial rejection he was granted leave for a further 18 months in July 2019 – the month he was arrested for running the brothel.

It is to laugh, isn't it? 

Why Can't They Serve It In Kenya?

The killers of a 16-year-old boy who chased him 'with a foot-long machete' before stabbing him to death have been jailed for life.

After his death, the killers went on to post a video online celebrating his death before fleeing to Kenya, evading a Met Police investigation. The pair were arrested in the country's capital Nairobi last year following a manhunt and were flown back to the UK.

Monteiro was sentenced to life behind bars, serving a minimum of 24 years, while Mohamud was sentenced to life, serving a minimum of 23 years. Both were absent for their sentencing by Judge Sarah Munro, KC.

And I presume it's against their 'human rights' to drag them into the dock? 

Once in Kenya, Monteiro proceeded to get married and have a son. His wife and child still remain there, the court heard.

Ah, well, can't split up a family, eh progressives? Back he has to go! 

Judge Munro said: 'This is the third case I have had to pass a life sentence for murder this week alone.

'It is hard for those who don't sit in these courts day to day to understand how young people in their teens find themselves embroiled in gang culture.'

That's not what's hard, Sarah. What's hard is understanding why the courts treat these animals so lightly... 

Clearly Not Long And Hard Enough...

Vick Zidko was walking down the stairs in his family home in Doncaster when their dog, which was bought on Facebook just two weeks prior, clamped its jaws on his head.

After five days in hospital Vick had the torn-off piece of scalp reattached - it is now under a large patch on his head.

He was six years old. 

Forklift truck driver Vitalijus told The Mirror the family had thought 'long and hard' about getting a dog and described Diesel as 'really soft' and 'jumping around'.

Not a description I'd expect to hear about what was described as an 'American Staffordshire terrier'... 

Officers are investigating the incident and the dog was destroyed by police.

The parents should be charged with child endangerment. 

As should these parents:

A child who was attacked by a dog in Doncaster has been taken to hospital with "potentially life-changing injuries".

On Thursday, May 11, South Yorkshire Police were called to South Street in Highfields, Doncaster. They had received reports of a child being attacked by a dog.Officers at the scene seized an American Staffordshire terrier breed dog from a property on the street, which was later put down.

Any 'parent' who has one of these things in the house when they have small children doesn't deserve the name... 

H/T: The Jannie via email

Then It'll Be More Intelligent Than Us...

...won't it, Matt?

But Didn't It Happen In 2016..?

And some might say we aren't there yet...

H/T: Ian J via email

Sunday Funnies...

When we think about it, collecting hair is rather tame...

Funny Way To Show Gratitude...

Court proceedings against a woman refugee accused of attempting to murder a social worker have been delayed, after she claimed the alleged victim attacked her.

Appearing for a committal hearing at Dungannon Magistrates’ Court today was Fiyori Kesete, now established to be aged 24. She had claimed to be child refugee, however her real age has since been established.

And only when it's far too late, and she's buried herself like a tick into the system, you'll note. 

At a previous hearing last November, a detective constable explained Kesete is a refugee who travelled to Northern Ireland by herself in 2021 from Eritrea in East Africa.

Without any parental or responsible adult input, she was assigned support by the Southern Health and Social Care Trust 14+ Team, residing in specialist accommodation in Dungannon.

'Support' actually meaning 'life of comparative luxury' compared to her life in Eritrea... 

Prior to the incident she was reported missing seven times including the days running-up to her arrest. On that occasion, she was located in Belfast by police who alerted her social worker and took her to her accommodation, which had been cleaned and prepared for her return after being missing for several days.

The court heard she entered the property with her social worker who went into the kitchen and began unpacking groceries telling her, “I’ve bought you all your favourite things.”

And was she grateful, unable to believe her good fortune? Reader, we already know, don't we? 

It is alleged Kesete without warning, “Immediately struck the social worker to the back of her head with a knife.” The victim screamed and was struck again to the head, then once to the neck and twice to the arm.

I guess you can take the woman out of Africa, but... 

The social worker was rushed in an ambulance to hospital where she underwent emergency surgery.

At that stage the court was told Kesete’s identity remained unconfirmed and there are five different dates of birth and six variations of her age registered with the Home Office.

And did that not trigger some sort of warning on the computer systems at the Home Office? And if not, why not? 

Gosh, That Was Quick!

Little did I know, when drafting this, I'd be proved right again so quickly... 

Jonathan Hogg, 37, was mauled in the throat by his friend's American Bully XL at a house in Leigh, Greater Manchester on Thursday evening. He was taken to hospital but died shortly after.

'We've just had a baby and now I've got to explain to our kids why their dad is gone', his girlfriend Liberty Farrimond, 24, told the Daily Mail.

Well, you can tell them it's because his country is too lax on allowing these things to be at large. Back in the late Eighties, the first DDA was introduced following vicious attacks on mainly children, few of whom died. Now, adults are being regularly killed by these things. 

Police said a 24-year-old man was arrested on suspicion of being in charge of a dangerously out of control dog causing injury resulting in death. He remains in custody for further questioning.

Oh. Yes. And he ought to have chosen better friends. 

Neighbours said the man who died may have been 'play-fighting' with the animal when it suddenly turned on him'. They were alerted by barking and the man's cries of 'help me', and tried throwing stones at the dog in desperation.

When police finally acted, thankfully they brought better ammunition than stones. 

'Finally' acted, Ambush? Why, yes, Reader, indeed so... 

Greater Manchester Police said armed officers used 'every available tactic to subdue' the animal before it was destroyed because it posed a 'significant risk' to the public.

I've one question: why?  

'We recognise this incident will rightly cause concern within the local area and we would like to reassure the public that we explored every possible avenue to protect the local community and the animal involved.'

Why would you not shoot the thing then and there? Why feel the need to announce a willingness, hell, even a desire, to 'protect' it? Is it because of the loonies demanding the Met Police who tackled these dogs be arrested themselves and charged with something?

Because if so, you're a disgrace to your uniform. 

Time This Breed Joined The Other Four...

...on the Dangerous Dogs List:

A woman who was mauled to death by the eight animals she was walking in a Surrey park is believed to have been killed by her own American Bully XL.

Yes, it's this case.

Police confirmed Ms Johnston's dog was the only animal to have been destroyed, which they believe to be an American Bully XL. They are continuing to hold five other dogs following a vet's forensic report, but two seized dachshunds were returned to their owner last month.

'Besides the update on the status of the seized dogs we do not have any further comments or updates on this investigation, as it has now passed to the coroner's office and will be covered as part of the inquest.'

How many more people must be left at risk from this breed before the authorities act? 

So, Will You Be Handing Back The Benefits..?

...or is that a part of the UK you thoroughly approve of?

H/T: Michael Perry via email

"But It's Worked So Well In Comprehensive Education!"

The number of guide dog owners in the UK has declined from more than 5,000 in 2017 to 3,695 in 2022, despite demand remaining stable, according to an open letter written to the heads of Guide Dogs UK.

And he presumably knows his onions Labradors... 

Alan Brooks, who has won two major awards for his work with guide dogs over 50 years, including setting up training programmes in Europe and leadership roles at Guide Dogs UK.

So, where is it all going wrong suddenly? 

“The new programme isn’t working. Basically, the system is a non-punishment system, so you’re not even allowed to say no to a dog in a firm voice if it does something wrong – as a result dogs aren’t getting through the training programme and the population of guide dog owners has dropped by 25%,” he said, adding that he believes a rewards-based system works only for certain personalities of dog.

Ah. The 'no punishment or consequences for bad behaviours' that's turned our schools into the models of good behaviour they are? 

He said that many knowledgable training staff and puppy-walking volunteers he had spoken to thought Step was “ineffective and their efforts are wasted”, leading them to become “demotivated and demoralised”.

And the charity relies on them. So what does it have to say for itself? 

Noting that there are differing views on training dogs, Guide Dogs UK defended its methods as “based on the highest level of dog welfare and prioritise the wellbeing and safety of the guide dog and its owner”.

Typical of any modern organisation; dig in, double down, never admit you could have got it wrong... 

“We are proud to use ethical, evidence-based practices which maintain the highest level of dog welfare. We make no apologies for eliminating physical punishment or techniques which are proven to cause fear and stress to dogs. Our firm and unwavering view is that society has progressed and that we must move with the times.”

Ah, yes, 'progress'. The watchword of the moment. And yet...didn't this chap have something to say about words?

 

But Not Of Their Money...

Water companies have apologised for repeated sewage spills and pledged to invest £10bn this decade in an attempt to quell public anger over pollution in seas and rivers.

...of ours. Of course.  

Shareholders in water companies will initially fund the investments. However, the costs will be recouped from customers through unspecified increases in their bills determined by regulators, in a move which threatens to add further pressure to household costs.

Is anyone surprised? You shouldn't be. 

It's A Balancing Act You Failed, Dismally...

Judge Anthony Lowe said the ‘very, very difficult case’ required him to strike a balance between ‘what a 13-year-old boy needs and what society needs when women are accosted in the street for no good reason’.

And you came down on the side of...the 13 year old sex pest? Really, judge? 

He said the rehabilitation order would carry a supervision requirement, and would allow the boy to receive treatment in a care setting in the hope of addressing his behaviour ‘by the time he is approaching adulthood’.

The judge told the boy, who stood in the dock to be sentenced: ‘You are old enough to understand that behaviour has consequences and what you did was very bad.’

He told the boy he would have received a sentence of ‘eight or nine years’ if he was an adult for such offending, adding: ‘You have to look inside your own head and try to work out what on earth made you behave in that way.’

The court heard the boy had no previous offences to his name.

Translation: hadn't been caught for anything. 

The judge said he had ‘absolutely no idea what the driving force is behind these offences’.

He said was clear the boy had a ‘distorted view about sexual intimacy and sexual relationships and a distorted view about women generally’, but added: ‘There is no explanation for why he has these distorted views or, more importantly, how they are going to be rehabilitated.’

Maybe we should look closer to home - he is, after all, the son of a police officer... 

Interestingly, the 'Guardian' article on this doesn't mention this once. 

Which 'Community' Is This..?

A 19-year-old man has avoided prison after a video was uncovered of him sexually assaulting a child.

The details are even stranger than you'd expect from the headline. 

Armando Ilie, aged 19, of Rosemary Gardens in Dagenham, appeared at Northampton Crown Court on Thursday, April 13 after pleading guilty to sexually assaulting a child and making indecent photographs of children.

That's a long way to go, isn't it? 

The court heard that a Samsung phone belonging to the defendant was discovered at the scene of a robbery at an Abington Street shop in Northampton town centre in 2019. Illes was, however, not involved in the robbery itself - the court heard.

Curiouser and curiouser... 

Dhabeshwar Sharma, in mitigation, said that Illie demonstrated insight into his offending and showed remorse to probation officers about his actions. Mr Sharma said: “He had the courage and decency to accept his offending and was candid with the probation service.”

He didn't really have much choice, did he? It was on his phone! 

He added that the defendant was young and sexual matters were a “taboo” in his family so he had no one to discuss his feelings with.

Hmmm... 

Illie’s family filled the public gallery and were said to be “supportive” of the defendant but struggled as news of his offending got out to members of their community. The court heard that Illie’s father was “ashamed and embarrassed” and said he would ensure he does not commit further offences.

Did anyone ask him how? I'd have just handed him two large housebricks, personally... 

Recorder Sprawson, sentencing, said: “An uncomfortable trend seems to be developing in your offending.”

He added: “You may consider yourself somewhat fortunate that your family remains so close to you and are still willing to support you when others may have turned away and disowned you.”

I wonder exactly what sort of 'community' we are talking about here? I'm guessing it's not the classic ex-Eastender that used to populate Dagenham. 

Illie was sentenced to a two-month community order - during which, he must attend 50 rehabilitation requirement days and adhere to a six-month curfew. He has been added to the Sex Offenders Register for five years.

When he'll still be comparatively young. 

Aren't Most University Staff Already On Them..?

If you read David Thompson, and you really, really should, you could be forgiven for thinking so, anyway... 

Exeter’s new interdisciplinary programme will upskill and educate healthcare workers, therapists, and others from around the world on the emerging potential of psychedelics.

The programme will be delivered online and will incorporate topics covering both the science and philosophy of psychedelic therapies - including medicine, research methods and ethics.

'Ethics', eh? Most of them probably think it's a county dahn sarf... 

H/T: Ian J via email

Maybe They Aren't 'Losing Out' At All?

Maybe they are smart enough to know a bad decision when they see one?

Tens of thousands of homes are missing out on government heat pump subsidies worth up to £6,000, as critics slam the scheme as a 'cash bung' for the rich.

Now, why would people turn down 'free' money from the government? It's a puzzle, isn't it, Reader? Unless, maybe, they read the newpapers...

The Government has set aside £150million to subsidise 30,000 homes and small businesses a year fitting heat pumps or biomass boilers. But the Government scheme is being underused, with just 8,584 heat pumps and 106 biomass boilers fitted between May 2022 and March 2023 - not even a third of its target.

Yup, we know.  

Meanwhile, the Boiler Upgrade Scheme has been slammed for giving the rich a tax break and discount for fitting heat pumps while poorer households lose out.

Or, win? 

Covid, The Gift That Keeps Giving...

Is it 'gold plated'..?

Wait, what?

More than £8,000 has been spent by the borough council on a closed water feature in Basingstoke that has not been in use for more than three years, the Gazette can reveal.

Why hasn't it been in use? Did it have a fault?

The fountains near Eastrop Park were closed in 2020 when the pandemic hit, because of restrictions.

/facepalm 

In response to a Freedom of Information request to the borough council sent by the Gazette, it revealed that last year it spent £8,110 on the fountains, including installation of a sign asking people to keep out of the water installed last year.

Asking people to keep out of water that isn't actually there? 

In 2021, while preparing the fountains for reopening, the council said it found high levels of condensation in the plant room which powers the fountains which had led to a number of parts corroding. Specialist parts were ordered, but the council said these were “subject to long lead times”.

*sighs* 

In February 2022 the fountains were inspected again, and some preliminary work was done to prepare them to be switched back on. This cost the council £6,620 plus £1,432 paid to a supplier for returning parts ordered in 2021. However, the council said this work revealed that further, significant damage had been caused to the plant room because of the length of time the fountains had been switched off.

Covid - or rather, the hysterical overreaction to it - is going to be responsible for so many things, isn't it? 

H/T: Ian J via email

It's FAFO Time Again!

Police in upstate New York fatally shot a woman dead inside of her home...

Typical trigger happy Noo Yawk cops, just shooting anyone who looks at 'em funny... 

...after she pulled a knife on them in April 2022, newly released video shows.

Oh. 

When the officers tackle Feith, she eventually manages to wrangle free. At that point, a stun gun is deployed which does not subdue her. A voice can be heard saying: 'Shoot her,' Kemlage then fires twice.

Don't bring a knife to a gunfight. Should have listened to Jim Malone! 

The shooting remains under investigation by New York Attorney General Letitia James.

Doubt even the wokest DA could charge them, but who really knows? 

To Mark The Occasion...

/applause for Matt, and for Sweden...

The 'Mail' Goes Toe To Toe With Grammar Again...

...and loses!

By two falls and a submission.

H/T: Longrider via email

Sunday Funnies...

Well, no 4 isn't that surprising, is it..?

A Fool And Their Money...

The boom in home bartending means more and more of us happily sip cocktails in our sitting rooms. But getting them right takes expertise.

Well, yes, or opening a can of the delicious pre-mixed cocktails from Moth. 

So, would you entrust the drinks at your Coronation party to a device that claims to make perfect cocktails at the push of a button?

Not for £300, I wouldn't! 

The 'Bartesian', created by Canadian bartender Ryan Close, looks like a coffee machine, but uses capsules containing the ingredients for your favourite cocktails such as bitters, extracts and juice concentrates (but not the spirits).

So you've got to mess around buying capsules for the damned thing and then adding your own spirits too? What, exactly, does the thing do?  

I pop the capsule in and the display tells me to place a shaker with ice under the dispenser.

...

The machine buzzes for about 15 seconds. Then the display tells me to shake and pour.

It doesn't even shake for you! Who on earth would buy this? 

I Used To Visit io9 Regularly...

...for news and views on TV and books in the sci-fi and fantasy genre. Why did I stop?

io9 does not write about Harry Potter. We do not cover the Fantastic Beasts movie series. We do not report on the Wizarding World, Universal’s Potter-themed park expansion. We do not write about J.K. Rowling. We could, there’s nothing stopping us, but back in 2020—despite dedicating swaths of space on our site to the fantasy genre—we decided that we will not perpetuate the cultural capital of a woman who has vehemently and unapologetically argued for stripping rights away from transgender people and has targeted trans women in particular, under the guise of defending the rights of cisgender women.

Oh. Yeah. Now I remember... 

I’m 32 now. I am no longer a child.

Beg to differ! 

I have killed my affection for Harry Potter. I have buried it. I am refusing to allow this series space in my life. Because as a trans person, as a friend of trans people, as someone who has dated, come out with, held hands with, partied with, supported, marched with, and loved trans people—they are worth more than Rowling is.

Did he manage to write this while drumming his feet on the ground and rolling around on his back? Because that's impressive, at least! 

via GIPHY

She has her millions, she has her charities, her Twitter, her shitty detective novels that didn’t sell until she revealed she was the one writing them; she doesn’t need fans. She’d like them, but she doesn’t deserve us, because being a fan of Rowling’s work in the here and now is being a fan of a woman who believes being discriminatory towards trans women is a feminist, laudatory act.

Cry more, snowflake, while she sits in her castle sipping those sweet, sweet gender warrior tears... 

Tales From The Hinterlands...

*blinks* Really?

The reinstatement of Exmouth's renowned unconventional landmark The Rusty Pole is being called for after it was suddenly removed by South West Water (SWW). Over the years, a fondness has developed among both among locals and visitors for the protruding pole on The Mear.

However, it was removed on April 13 by the water company due to concerns raised by East Devon District Council over public safety. Its disappearance has sparked anger and there are now calls for it to be put back.

In a rather astonishing article, this was the undoubted kicker: 

The affection that The Rusty Pole has gained over the years has seen it become number seven on Tripadvisor's top things to see when visiting Exmouth.

Heh! 

H/T: Ian J via email

The Prosecution Says...

'Mr Mahmood should not have used the Taser. It was not, the prosecution say, a reasonable use of force in the circumstances he faced. It was not lawful.'

And the jury says 'Oh, yes, it was...'

And yet another jury says 'You must be kidding!'...

Why Should He Show Emotion..?

Brandon Ali stared across at the press bench in court. Defiant, dishonest to his core, and completely unrepentant, he showed no reaction as he was sentenced to 21-years in prison for murder, in the summer of last year.

Four months later, Ali simply shrugged as he was handed an 11-month jail term for posting a radio stuffed full of drugs to an inmate in August, 2020. That sentence runs alongside his current 21-year minimum term, meaning he spends no extra time behind bars.

Three months after that, Ali stood staring at the press bench once again, as he was brought out of his cell to attend court. This time he was given a three-year prison stretch, after a shotgun with his DNA all over it was found buried near a children's park.

After all, this is no horrifying fate. It's 2023, not 1823, and he'll probably have a cushier life behind bars than on the other side of them. 

There has never been a hint of remorse shown by the former Hemlington drug dealer - although he must surely regret his actions now he has days on end with nothing to do but think, whilst holed up in prison.

Must he? Why? And why would he turn to crime, when he's not even good at it?

Ali is the antithesis of a clever or sophisticated criminal. He killed a man in front of people on a residential street. And he left his DNA all over a shotgun, and on the drugs inside the radio.

But he has never shown any emotion - not when he was handed a life term in prison, nor when the harrowing details of Mr Eland's fatal injuries were read out to a courtroom, packed full of the victim's family and friends. His mother, who has attended all of his court cases, shouted "see you son" as he was last led out of court. 

Ah. QED. 

Gentlemen, Check Yourselves Out...

A keen footballer believes his teammates helped to save his life after pointing out an enlarged testicle which turned out to be cancerous.

...before your mates do! 

“It was a bit embarrassing dropping my trousers to my GP at the age of 27... ”

That was the most embarassing part?!? 

H/T: Ian J via email, who says "I didn't play football, but when in changing rooms nobody looked that closely!... but then I didn't live in Dorset either!"

Guardian Schizophrenia

Make up your minds, will you?

So, Just Call Their Bluff...

Two paedophiles have won lifelong anonymity from being named after telling courts they might kill themselves if the public knew their crimes.

...because this sounds to me like a win/win situation whichever way it goes.

In 2022, a man was spared jail at Antrim Crown Court after admitting 22 offences involving possessing, distributing and making indecent child images.

Initially the sex-offender's identity was revealed following a legal challenge from local democracy reporter Tanya Fowles, however the judge then reversed his ruling and granted lifetime anonymity.

The decision was described as 'unprecedented' while Tanya warned of a 'deluge' of bids for anonymity by convicted paedophiles after the judgement.

Now a second paedophile, who was jailed for 16 months, has received an order to protect their identity from another court in Northern Ireland after threatening self-harm.

You know who else often contemplates suicide and self-harm, 'your honours'? The victims of paedophiles. Shouldn't you be more concerned about them?

The 'Perfect Role Model' Designation Is Becoming A Warning Sign...

A former hero policeman hailed as a role model and put in charge of teenage cadets after being injured tackling a crazed knifeman was today...

Oh oh! 

...unmasked as a predator who abused a string of youngsters.

And you won't believe what 'community' he hails from, Reader! 

Following his conviction, bosses at Greater Manchester Police issued a grovelling apology for what Ali's trial was told was 'inadequate oversight' by senior officers which helped him get away with his predatory behaviour.

Branding Ali's crimes 'abhorrent', Assistant Chief Constable Colin McFarlane admitted that 'not enough was done' to 'supervise and oversee him', adding: 'For that I am truly sorry'.

Gosh, I wonder why there wasn't enough oversight? 

Until his arrest, bisexual Ali – who insisted on being known as 'Adz' – had seemed the perfect role model.

Because of the bisexuality? Or...something else? 

What A Time To Be Alive Pt 78354

Chavshrines for dogs! 

And it's only May! What will December bring, I wonder?

Officers were seen in a heated row with the man as he continued to hold on to his dogs and attempt to calm them down.

This is a plain lie. At no point does he attempt to calm them down. If he'd secured them to a railing and walked away, they'd still be alive (until their inevitable final appointment with the vet) and he wouldn't have had to be tasered.

Update: 

The Met Police has cleared two officers of misconduct who shot dead the 'out-of-control' pets in east London. The dog's owner was also tasered by cops and arrested in Limehouse, east London, at around 5pm on Sunday.

Louie Turnbull, 46, was today charged with being the owner of a dog that was dangerously out of control and that he had custody of a dog while disqualified from owning or keeping a dog. Turnbull appeared in custody at Thames Magistrates' Court today.

Anyone think this will make the 'awww, poor doggies!' mob think again? 

Move It Monday: May

This month it's the Kaiser Chiefs, with 'How 2 Dance':

 

And It's Not Just The Vegans!

*blinks*

Thousands of people in Brighton and Hove do not have access to food that is healthy or culturally appropriate.

What, they are barred from shops? There aren't shops in Brighton and Hove selling bushmeat? What's this all about? 

Andrew Forsey, national director of Feeding Britain, said Prime Minister Rishi Sunak must publish a strategy to ensure people can afford and access healthy food.

Aha! Of course. It's another demand to feed people out of my pocket again... 

He said that food clubs in Feeding Britain's network "have never seen so many people", including working families, seeking help with food. The Trussell Trust revealed more people in UK used food banks in the six months to September than ever before, with some 1.3 million food parcels handed out, an increase of one third on the same period the previous year.

Hand out free stuff and people demand more of it! Who knew? 

"You've done a man's job, sir!"

Although, you could have been a bit quicker on weapon dog no:2, it got too close to the officers for my liking.

I won't embed the video in deference to any readers who aren't, like me, totally fed up with these things on our streets and don't want to see them shot dead, but you can see it here and there are other closer videos floating around YouTube.

The only 'shocking' thing is that it took them so long to finally act. Oh, and the display of ignorance from the onlookers:

A 25-year-old woman who witnessed the situation unfold told the Mirror: 'It didn't seem proportionate. It is beyond belief.

'It was so shocking. I didn't realise it was a proper gun until the dogs were just lying completely out on the ground. There was blood coming out of them.

'I've never seen anything like that. You hear of these things happening in America but not here. Whatever had happened, it's not an excuse for it to end like that.'

It's debatable who has the lower IQ, the deceased mutts or the 'poor puppy!' crowd...

The Metropolitan police has defended its officers after a suspect was Tasered and two dogs were shot in front of screaming witnesses.

“This is never an easy decision for any officer to take, but police have a duty to act where necessary before any further injury is caused. The Met’s directorate of professional standards will review the circumstances of the incident.”

Before hopefully buying them all a beer. 

Time SpecSavers Opened A Branch Nearer The 'Mail' Offices...

No, that's not Dr Pitman...

Are You Getting Your Journalists From The 'Mail', Essex Live?

Because you might want to rethink that, and get ones that know what a cheetah looks like...

Sunday Funnies...

C'mon, we've all wanted to do it at least once!

If You Fail To Uphold Law And Order...

Penny was questioned by the NYPD on Monday but was released without charge. The investigation is ongoing and it is likely that a grand jury will be impaneled to determined whether or not charges should be brought.

Anthony was originally booked on suspicion of murder the next day, but then released without charge after the District Attorney Brooke Jenkins said Anthony was in 'mortal danger' and 'acted in self-defense'.

The decision to drop the charges against Anthony has angered protestors and at a meeting of the San Francisco Board of Supervisors on Tuesday, activists held up signs reading 'Justice for Banko Brown'.

...don't be surprised when others step in and do it. 

Two different US cities, both beset by exactly the same issues; lack of action on lawlessness by the authorities. And tolerance of idiocy like this:

One protestor, who identified herself as Lia McGeever, erupted into a scream over the death of Brown. She said: 'I hate a lot of people on this board for the reasons that led up to Banko Brown's death.

'There's a lot of performative people on this board who will say one thing and support black people, homeless people, trans people, and then immediately stab you in the face — being racist, transphobic, anti-homeless.

'I don't have any words prepared today. I just want you to feel our pain.

'So, I am going to spend the next minute screaming cause that is what is going on in here. 'That is what the trans genocide in this country, in this city, has brought me to.'

That she wasn't immediately removed, that she was allowed to have her pointless little temper tantrum, is merely another symptom. 

Well, It's The Big Day...

...and it's on all three main channels, so avoiding it will be difficult. Or would be, if not for the plethora of streaming services and freeview channels available!

So will I watch? Maybe. Not with any enthusiasm for his reign, which I suspect will not be the triumph of 'quietly getting on with it' that marked the late Queen's reign. But to see the sort of spectacle that we do better than any other country in the world.

How about you, Reader? 

Prepare For The Fightback

Transgender pupils are to be banned from competing in PE lessons against pupils of the opposite biological sex, new government plans advise. The guidance, which is expected to be released within the next few weeks and will apply to all state and independent single-sex schools in England, aims to protect girls' safety and ensure fair competition in sport.

It's about time. And don't waste time and money on lawyers, either: 

The rule will not be in breach of the Equality Act because there are exemptions for competitive sport and schools are allowed to provide same-sex services if 'objectively justifiable'.

Of course, that will no doubt fall on deaf ears... 

The move came after school leaders and governors met with lawyers amid fears about discrimination claims from parents of transgender pupils if they refused to accommodate them.

Parents of transgender pupils are like owners of vegan cats. We all know this.

Time To Round Up The Usual Suspects?

An animal charity is hunting for an animal abuser who beheaded a cat and placed it at a London playground in a 'uniquely disturbing' incident.

The black and white cat's head was discovered by staff at Homerton Grove Adventure Playground in Hackney on April 24 around 3.30pm, when the staff member opened the park for the afternoon.

Hackney, eh? Isn't that not too far from Islington?

Employers, Not Masters Or Parents...

Maureen Martin was accused of gross misconduct after her employer, a housing association, claimed her campaign pledge to promote 'natural marriage' was discriminatory and would offend gay and trans people.

Ms Martin sued London & Quadrant Housing Trust (L&Q) for unfair dismissal, discrimination and harassment in a case called 'an attack on democracy'. Last night she told The Mail on Sunday she was happy with the out-of-court settlement but described her treatment as chilling.

It seems the fact you are employed by a company to perform a role during work time gives some of them the right to assume control over every aspect of your life, as Longrider points out.  

'I should have had a right to express my own Christian beliefs in my own private time and should not have been required to self-censor my beliefs or be forced out of my job.

'I will be standing again as mayoral candidate in 2024. My message will not have changed. You can fire me, but you cannot silence me.'

Good for her. But where do these companies get the bare-faced cheek to imagine they can control every aspect of our lives? They pay us for our time, and that's all. 

Perhaps Ms Martin should have simply billed them for every hour she worked on her campaign instead?

The Mob Wins...

The Essex pub that refused to remove its display of golliwog dolls has been forced to close after Heineken and Carlsberg told the owners to stop serving their beer and a maintenance firm refused to work on site.

Now, following the controversy Mrs Ryley and her husband Chris, have vowed to shut the pub down for good and move home to Turkey.

Do 'racists' choose to move to other countries populated by the people they supposedly hate, then? 

'I feel gutted, totally and utterly gutted. Hurt, upset,' she said of the closure. 'We've had a few bits of hate, which I personally don't understand.

'The young people these days don't understand, from years ago where did the Gollys originate from, it's such a shame.'

It's not just the young people, Mrs Ryley. If only it was... 

A Carlsberg spokesperson told MailOnline today: 'We believe pubs should be an enjoyable place for everyone and we will take steps to seek removal of our beers from venues who do not share our values.

'Whilst we do not directly supply the pub in question, after being made aware of the police investigation we contacted our third-party distributor to make our views clear.'

Heineken ordered the pub to stop serving its beer on April 20 citing the 'abhorrent display' that allegedly goes 'against everything the company stands for'.

Remember when companies were only interested in a profit margin? That, too, it seems, has gone the way of the golly on the jam jar... 

If It's 'A Gift', Can It Be Returned..?

In a tribute to their daughter on Friday, Caitlyn's parents said she was 'gifted with autism' and 'had a particular passion for the theatre, arts, music and the environment'.

Some 'gift' that makes you kill yourself over being held to account for a transgression... 

She took her own life the next day, just hours before she had been due to receive a two-hour punishment known as a 'headmistress's detention'.

The teenager, who was set to take her GCSEs soon, had been reprimanded after vodka and a tattoo kit had been found in her locker before the school holidays.

Mr Scott-Lee, 41, who has two younger daughters, said: 'She was mortified to receive a detention.

'To some of us, it is a badge of honour, sitting in a room for two hours to work. '

I think that comment sums up the parenting skills in play here. 

Mr Scott-Lee is speaking out about his daughter to raise awareness around the needs of one in three children, who, like his late daughter, are neurodiverse.

He explained that Autistic people (Ed: we're capitalising this now too?), including himself and his daughter, 'tend to think of the world in binary terms — it can be difficult [for them] to differentiate between two extremes.'

Mr Scott-Lee, a senior executive at the banking giant HSBC, has called on Rishi Sunak to help open up a national conversation, encouraging high-performing schools like Wycombe to better support neurodiverse pupils.

What the hell has it got to do with the Prime Minister..?!? 

Why Couldn't He Serve His Time In Jamaica?

A man who was deported for being in the UK illegally following an investigation into him infecting a woman with HIV has been jailed 14 years after the offence.

In the UK. Of course.  

Jermaine Scott was arrested in February 2011 on suspicion of recklessly infecting a woman in 2009 but was later released due to a lack of evidence.

He was deported to Jamaica nine months later, but extradited back to the UK in 2022 after new evidence came to light.

/facepalm 

He was jailed for three years after pleading guilty at Chester Crown Court.

It's an utter joke, isn't it? 

H/T: Ian J via email

We Can Add Up If You Can't, Collette...

Warwickshire Police Detective Inspector Collette O'Keefe said: 'Enquiries are ongoing and residents can expect to continue to see an increased police presence in the area (Ed: too little, too late, as always...).

'I would like to take this chance to reiterate that we believe this was an isolated incident and there is no risk to the wider public.' 

Describing the video, filmed on a mobile phone by one of the eight-strong crowd, the young mother said: 'Two lads kept punching and kicking him. One had taken him down in a 'choke slam' and kept his arm round his neck as he was lying on the ground. The other one was punching him in the head and kicking him in the side.

Two boys and a girl have all been arrested on suspicion of murder.

...and that leaves five of these savages unaccounted for, doesn't it? And under joint enterprise they are all equally guilty. 

Is It The Only Time You See 'Ongoing Police Activity' Then?

After the fact, never before?

Gwent Police Chief Inspector Laura Bartley said: 'Officers will be making further enquiries at this time and will remain at the scene as the investigation progresses.

'It is possible that you may see ongoing police activity in Caerphilly as part of this work but please do not be alarmed.

'If you have concerns or information then please do stop and talk with us.'

'If you can find us, look in the nearest Greggs...' 

H/T: Ian J via email

You Made Your Bed...

...why should the UK government help you when you no longer want to lie in it?

Jennifer's uncle, Donald Gillies, said the government should have done more to help the family and others trapped in Sudan to get to safety, as people have been told they must make their own way to the airbase.

'Without a shadow of a doubt the government should have done more, it was, in my opinion, a dereliction of duty,' he said.

'The way the diplomats fled the country. The military went in to their houses to take them and their children out but the normal civilians are seen as of lesser importance.'

He labelled the government's communication to British citizens 'chaos' and said that people should have been warned about potential conflict in the country, as US citizens had prior to the fighting breaking out.

So, did it creep up on her? Did she fly in for a holiday without scoping the place out? Reader, not exactly. She's lived there fifteen years... 

The English teacher moved to the north African country after meeting Mohamed as a student in Glasgow over 15 years ago.

If she's lived there for that long, the warning signs that the country was headed downhill were presumably ignored. Why is that the UK government's fault, or responsibility? 

Who's Laughing Now..?

Throughout the trial Cooper had incensed the family of Mrs Smith by leering and gurning at them from the dock whenever the jury were absent.

The jury found him guilty unanimously after two hours and 30 minutes of deliberation.

The sentences don't really reflect the effort everyone put in to get this pair behind bars, though... 

The 17-year-old will serve three years and eight months and Cooper will serve six years and six months, both in Young Offenders institutions.

And words fail me, reading this: 

Judge Dennis did not invite Mrs Smith's son, Adam Smith, to speak of the impact of her death on him and his family.

He said: 'I do not invite speeches in relation to impact statements from the victim's family. I have already read the impact statements in full and I take into consideration the age of the defendants, their mental health and welfare.'

Their 'mental health and welfare' is a lost cause, Judge, and if you can't see that, you shouldn't be on the bench: 

A day before their attack on Mrs Smith, video footage from the pair's phones showed Cooper egging-on the 17-year-old to attack a woman in Ilford town centre. Ms Stonecliffe said: 'A young woman is seen walking towards the camera that Mr Cooper was holding. The 17-year-old was holding a long pole. He used the pole to lash out and strike her as she was putting her hands up to shield her face.' Cooper was heard in the video shouting: 'Smoke her, smoke her bro.' When the woman lay on the ground said: 'Boot her in the face. Just one tap in her face bro. Go on, do it, one boot on her face bro.' The 17-year-old hit out and the pair were seen walking away leaving the woman on the pavement behind them.

For this attack, Cooper received six weeks in a Young Offenders institution. The 17-year-old received a four-month Youth Rehabilitation Order.

Perhaps if they'd been caught and dealt with appropriately for this, Mrs Smith might still be alive. Why did the victim not report it? Why did CCTV not catch it? Is it because such behaviour is now considered so common it's not worth mentioning?