Tuesday, 16 June 2009

What, that? That’s not a knife…

No, really, that’s not a knife:
A kitchen knife that cannot be used as a weapon is due to go on sale later this year.

And it's not entirely pointless.

Instead the knife has a rounded edge directly above the sharp point, meaning it can be used for cooking purposes - but not stabbing.
Really? It can’t…?
The blunt 'upper protusion' acts as a guard for the sharp point.

An inner curve then causes clothes and skin to snag, 'further slowing the progress of the blade'.
Now, two things occurred to me on reading this:

a) Surely you either sharpen up the blunt point, or simply use extra force – I mean, straw isn’t sharp, and a tornado can put a piece of straw through a tree trunk, and

b) It doesn’t stop you slitting someone’s throat with the blade, does it?

Mr Cornock, 42, from Swindon, said: 'The idea began as a means of crime prevention, but is also something that promotes safety in the home.

'It is not going to fall off a kitchen surface and stab you in the foot.'
Well, if you take care never to balance your dangerously-sharp kitchen utensils on the edge of the kitchen counter, I’ve found that works pretty well too….
'It can never be a totally safe knife, but the idea is you can't inflict a fatal wound,' said Mr Cornock.

'Nobody could just grab one out of the kitchen drawer and kill someone.
So, they’ll just grab another knife instead, surely?

But it seems that Mr Cornock has the bit between his teeth in his quest to idiot-proof life:
'The common kitchen knife has remained unchanged for centuries, so now we're hoping to introduce a more considered and intelligent design for the modern home.'
Now, if something’s remained unchanged for centuries, perhaps there’s a reason for that…

5 comments:

Angry Exile said...

As I blogged here a knife that had no point would be a bit crap at piercing things. In our kitchen that means coring capsicums and opening plastic packets of fresh pasta. The latter occasionally does need a slight stabbing motion. So since I'd need something with a point anyway why would I buy knives without one? Would we be safe with one pointy knife and dozens of blunt ones in the house? Er... well given the hundreds of things around the house with which Mrs Exile and I could batter, slash, stab, burn or poison each other to death - and which also assumes we've lost the key to the gun cabinet by the way - I'd have to say no, we would not be safe. Even if we went all John Lennon and imagined no possessions we would not be safe until our feet and fists could be genetically modified to be as hard as marshmallow.

So in short, a waste of everyone's time. If this tool got all knives made like this it would just mean gangs keeping the knife for cutting and adding a fork for stabbing. And pointing out the social faux pas of using a dessert fork for robbing mobile phones instead of a main will just get you stabbed again.

Blue Eyes said...

Unbelievably stupid, isn't it?

In Spain there are shops selling a wide range of amazing knives. You have to be over 18, but then you have to be over 18 to buy booze here!

Funnily enough the Spanish do not have a problem with knife crime.

Anonymous said...

Arrange the following into a well-known phrase or saying:

Wedge, end, thin of.

If a few years, these will be the only knives you'll be able to buy legally.

Mr Potarto said...

It's hard to believe no one has thought of a pointless knife before...

Another knife

Yep, it would be hard to hurt someone with one of those!

JuliaM said...

"Even if we went all John Lennon and imagined no possessions we would not be safe until our feet and fists could be genetically modified to be as hard as marshmallow."

There's probably someone putting in for a grant to study the feasability of this right now!

"Funnily enough the Spanish do not have a problem with knife crime."

They tend to have the sort of jails you really, really want to steer clear of too. I wonder if there's a connection?

"Yep, it would be hard to hurt someone with one of those!"

Lol! Plenty of angry Chinese cooks would disagree.. ;)