Saturday 17 October 2009

Now You Are Just Playing ‘Silly Burgers’!

Following on from the other day’s hijinks with the Flying Squad (Processed Meats Division) comes this amazing tale:
A mugger has been handed an eight-month detention sentence for snatching a student's beef burger and eating it.
Eight months for a beefburger? OK, it’ll be automatically cut in half, but still…

But, that isn’t the worst part:
But his accomplice, who violently punched the victim and gave him a bloody nose, escaped with just a police caution.
Because assault is far less serious than theft…
Smithers was arrested shortly after eating the food and pleaded guilty yesterday to robbing the 25-year-old victim of his supper.

The accomplice, who punched the student during the incident was also arrested, but escaped prosecution after being let off with an adult caution by police for common assault.
Can’t blame the CPS for this one lads…

Even the judge was taken aback:
Judge Sylvia De Bertodano said it was "extraordinary" and "inexplicable" that he was not in the dock at Leicester Crown Court yesterday with defendant William Smithers for joint enterprise in the street robbery.
I’m surprised he wasn’t in the dock for assault, never mind the ‘robbery’…
Following the hearing, senior district crown prosecutor Lawrence English said that after studying CCTV footage in great detail, they decided not to involve Mr Smithers' friend in the case.

He said: "We had to consider whether this was a joint operation or an independent assault on the student – our view was the latter.

"Although it was completely unlawful and the man received a caution, we did not believe the assault was part of the robbery."
And that, it seems, is all that matters…

Is it me? Or is assaulting a complete stranger far more of a crime than theft of a food item?

8 comments:

Fat Hen said...

And the song of day is:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X4IzqG7oP18

...the burger folly is just yet another scene in the modern version of this play: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rise_and_Fall_of_the_City_of_Mahagonny

In the end scene, Johnny is hanged, not because he molested an innocent hooker, or indirectly murdered his best friend, but, because he cannot pay for the bottle of whisky he drank, and his gf, the hooker(who loves him) isn't going to rescue him either since not paying up is a heinous, despicable crime, deserving the death penalty.

Dr Melvin T Gray said...

If comments are permitted after her song, a vanguard of commonsense leading police action has been lost to the tatty, anything-will-do brigade.

Pavlov's Cat said...

Unfortunately the laws of this land were created by the rich for themselves long ago.

When the legal code was drawn up, the divide between rich/poor was more stark. To attack the gentry meant a trip to the gallows or summary execution by the armed guards /men at arms that they surrounded themselves with. They pretty much held their persons as inviolate.

The rich and landed were more concerned with the poor / peasants stealing from them, hence punishment for theft down the ages has included, branding , ear slicing, transportation and even execution ( a 12 year old boy was once executed for stealing a loaf of bread). So they drafted the laws to make punishment for theft as harsh as possible.

As for crimes against the person, well that just did not happen to them and as to what the peasants got up to, well they could stab, beat, kill each other as much as they liked as long as the taxes and rents kept rolling in.

This is why a bank robber is still more likely to get a longer sentence than a rapist or even a murderer. Even today our lords and masters ( and Judges) can understand theft, but they just can’t comprehend being smashed in the face for no reason and the effects. Because it just doesn’t happen to them, they have no frame of reference.

Moriarty said...

I would guess that the scrote who threw the punch was under 18?

Anonymous said...

Well the assaulter did they sensible thing being as guilty as f**k - he was eligible for a caution and accepted it - end of! Why the judge is bleating I don't know. That's the CPS for you.

Anonymous said...

The rich and landed were more concerned with the poor / peasants stealing from them, hence punishment for theft down the ages has included, branding , ear slicing, transportation and even execution ( a 12 year old boy was once executed for stealing a loaf of bread). So they drafted the laws to make punishment for theft as harsh as possible.

Well I guess the teaching profession can go home tonight and celebrate the another successful indoctrination.

Does it occur to you that your anecdote actually illustrates the opposite of what you intended? Or perhaps you think the rich bake bread? A baker is petite bourgeoisie at best; hardly the target you had in mind. On the other hand, perhaps you can show evidence of a vast discrepany between sentences handed out to those who steal bread from the rich customers of bakers and the poor customers.

Perhaps you are unaware of the fact that robbery affects the poor far more than the rich. The latter can now and always have been able to insulate themselves from its effects.

Angry Exile said...

Eight months for a beefburger? OK, it’ll be automatically cut in half, but still…

That'll be the healthy eating anti obesity low fat mob. A whole burger would be just too.... oh, you meant the sentence.

JuliaM said...

"And the song of day is..."

Heh! :)

"...a vanguard of commonsense leading police action has been lost to the tatty, anything-will-do brigade."

It might appear do, but then, we do hear only the most sensational cases. I hope somewhere there are sensible coppers, even if only on 'Heartbeat'...

"This is why a bank robber is still more likely to get a longer sentence than a rapist or even a murderer."

'Twas ever thus...

"Why the judge is bleating I don't know. That's the CPS for you."

I guess sometimes, even they have trouble believing it!

"That'll be the healthy eating anti obesity low fat mob. A whole burger would be just too.... oh, you meant the sentence."

:)