Wednesday, 21 October 2009

Crumbs!

I've a tiny bit of sympathy for the people duped into answering this:
Hundreds of council workers were duped into taking part in a fake nationwide Health and Safety survey about accidents caused by biscuits.

Four councils were so taken in by the official-looking 'British Biscuit Advisory Board' survey they reported having specific policy rules on safe biscuit consumption.

One council even claimed to have supervised tea breaks for safety reasons.
Let's face it - if they've worked for a council for any reasonable length of time, they've probably seen (and filled in) dafter questionnaires...

But this is somewhat worrying:
Research by Rocky showed the general public is just as Health and Safety obsessed, with an incredible one in five believing there is a need for more rules and regulations concerning safe biscuit consumption.
This, folks, is why the Righteous get away with so much. People, in general, are idiots who desire someone to run their lives for them...

13 comments:

Von Spreuth. said...

Aye. All the whingeing when these soft twat rules come in, but in secrte the stupid bastards suport them. They get everything they bloody deservr.

Thouight this comment was fucking HILARIOUS though;

The Royal Society for the Prevention of Accidents revealed the most recent figures show that 400 people a year in Britain had to be treated in Accident and Emergency departments for biscuit-related accidents.

Sue said...

Those who are lifetime benefit claimants don't want to take responsibility for their own lives and others have been slowly brainwashed into thinking that way.

What we need is an independent TV channel to break the hold that ANY government has on the media.

Political blogs are great, it's just a shame that ordinary people don't read them. If they had access to the diversity of blogs on a popular media platform, we might be able to encourage free thinking again!

ivan said...

Health and safety is stupidity gone mad.

Since most people are not taught to think for themselves it is 'natural' that they will listen to what others tell them is the 'right' thing to do. This removal of responsibility for your own actions is in part that which has brought the country to its knees.

Fat Hen said...

I really hate to say this...

... but this was on the cards years ago, when kids' education was stunted by 'modern' teaching methods.

The result is an army of retards who are too stupid to realise just how dumb they are.

Hence the need (and demand) for bicci eating instructions, and it also explains all the other insane mayhem we're cringing at every day.

And this is still the smarter generation whose epic fail in almost everything we're lamenting, wait what'll happen (or, umm, what doesn't) once the current crop ripens to adulthood (at least in the physical sense -- remember, what Johnny does not learn, John never will)

Anonymous said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Anonymous said...

The cry went up in the office: "Me biscuit's fallen in me brew!!"

H&S wallahs spring into action with a biscuit rescue kit. Wearing a heat resistant suit, gloves and goggles, the wallahs carry the offending mug of hot tea to the tea preparation area. The mug is placed in a large bowl of a cooling agent before the tea can be safely poured into the disposal unit (sink). The soggy mess of biscuit is removed using soggy biscuit removal paper (paper towel) and disposed of in a slop bucket.

The offending biscuit dunker is brought before the H&S disciplinary committee and is issued with a formal written warning for breach of H&S in the workplace and sent on a week long Safe Tea Drinking and Biscuit eating Course.

ivan said...

On further consideration it would appear this country, at least, is headed for the world of Idiocracy - a film that is well worth watching.

Mark said...

'British Biscuit Advisory Board' LOL !
This sounds like something Peter Simple would have invented, with the legendary Prof Heinz Kiosk in the role of 'Chief Psychiatric Advisor'.

Mark Wadsworth said...

Ah yes, but it was originally Dick P's idea so he ought to sue the buggers, frankly.

JuliaM said...

"All the whingeing when these soft twat rules come in, but in secrte the stupid bastards suport them."

Indeed. There's more of them than we think, too.

"Political blogs are great, it's just a shame that ordinary people don't read them."

We can but keep spreading the word...

"Since most people are not taught to think for themselves it is 'natural' that they will listen to what others tell them is the 'right' thing to do."

As far as the socialists and control freaks are concerned, it's 'working as intended'...

JuliaM said...

"...this was on the cards years ago, when kids' education was stunted by 'modern' teaching methods."

The Jesuits weren't wrong, were they?

"...sent on a week long Safe Tea Drinking and Biscuit eating Course."

But of course! All those training consultants have to eat, you know, and the bloom's rather gone off the 'diversity' bandwagon...

"...it was originally Dick P's idea so he ought to sue the buggers, frankly."

Heh! Indeed...

Fat Hen said...

"The Jesuits weren't wrong, were they?"

Nops, by the time the child is 7, the core personality is completed and everything else will be defined by what there is (or isn't) by that time.

Which is why whatever teachers try with messed up kiddies in school never works -- the broken kids they have to handle are already stunted beyond help(since so much groundwork has been missed already), hence, no-one ever gets saved apart from a few freaks who (when you look into it) had a proper 1-1 upbringing before the age of 7 and then had to deal with family madness.

Those kids almost always right themselves no matter what life throws at them, but anyone whose growth was sabotaged in that time is forever stuffed (and dependent upon H&S for safe bicci eating)

And the time window is a function of kids being knowledge sponges until the age of 7, after that it slows down a bit(since it then begins to get filtered by reason more heavily), which is why kids who can count, read and write by the time they are 6 always do well easily, even if their IQ and natural academic ability is not very high.

Man I'm hungry, and after reading (and ranting about) your cake and bicci posts, I just have to go and bake a cocolate cake with pears... ;-D

Anonymous said...

Hey Fat Hen!

Recipe if you please.

You don't just get to hang around on blogs making mysterious references to home-made chocolate cake with pears, that the rest of us ain't getting any of.

If we was all in that Guantanamo Bay, you'd have to share it with us, or face arraignment for war crimes.