Monday 19 October 2009

Oh, Not Him Again!

Professor Ian Gilmore, one of the country's leading experts, said they risk developing liver disease or becoming alcohol dependent because they do not understand the detrimental effect that regular drinking has on their bodies.
What's he talking about?

Tramps drinking paintstripper? Yoofs necking neat vodka every night?

Not quite:
Women who regularly turn to a glass of wine to 'wind down' as they juggle career and family were warned last night they are priming a health 'timebomb' for themselves.
*sigh*
Professor Gilmore said that it was also much more socially acceptable and cheaper for women to drink in Britain today, compared to a generation ago.
Would you like us all to go back to the Dark Ages, Gilmore? Perhaps we should never have let them have the vote, eh?

The article does attract some good comments, though:
I am passing this on to you because it definitely worked for me. Today, we all could probably use more calm in our lives.

A doctor on breakfast television this morning said that the way to achieve inner peace is to finish all the things you have started. So I looked around my house to see things I'd started and hadn't finished and, before leaving the house this morning, I finished off a bottle of Merlot, a bottle of Shhhardonay, a bodle of Baileys, a butle of vocka, a tooob of Prunglies, tha mainder of bot Prozic and Valum scriptins, the res of the Chesescke an a box a chocolets. Yu haf no idr who fffkn gud I fel. Peas sen dis orn to dem yu fee AR in ned ov inr pece

- Thimbles, Norwich UK, 19/10/2009 08:31
Heh!

13 comments:

Angry Exile said...

Possibly the best comment left anywhere on anything. Great find!

Dick Puddlecote said...

Excellent comment. :-)

As for Gilmore ... euch, I'd better not start.

Anonymous said...

"Would you like us all to go back to the Dark Ages, Gilmore?"

Ooh yes please!! During the dark ages it was safer to drink ale and wine than it was water.

Angry Exile said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
ivan said...

He'd better not come over here - France - just about everyone drinks a glass of wine at lunch and dinner.

The man is an idiot.

MTG said...

C'était excellent, Julia.

Mike said...

Holy crap, women, men, who cares. If you do in fact take your job, children and various other responsibilities with any sense of seriousness a reasonable and regular amount of wine at home is the very least of anyone worries; it is in fact a blessing. As is the odd joint and the opportunity to engage in random and rampant sex.
Seize the day

Leg-iron said...

Women should not drink a single glass of wine. Of course not. Nobody should.

Everyone knows that as soon as the wine bottle is open, an oxidation process begins that will turn unattended half-used bottles into flocks of bat-winged shrews who will burrow into your liver while you sleep. This is the real cause of all drink-related liver damage. Failure to finish the bottle.

Never, ever leave a bottle lying around half empty. It's dangerous. If there are cheeeldren in the house it can lead to secondary shrew-burrowing and passive passivity or whatever the latest one is called.

You won't catch me leaving a bottle half empty. Unless it has milk in it.

JuliaM said...

"Possibly the best comment left anywhere on anything. "

I've had a similar joke emailed to me several times, but I've not seen it wielded with such panache in a newspaper column before!

"As for Gilmore ... euch, I'd better not start."

Oh, I know. As soon as I saw the headline, I just knew his name would be attached to it...

"During the dark ages it was safer to drink ale and wine than it was water."

Heh!

"You won't catch me leaving a bottle half empty. Unless it has milk in it."

Good safety tip! :)

Pogo said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Pogo said...

Gilmore is cast iron evidence of the dangers of educating someone past the limits of their intelligence.

Anyway, I thought that everyone knew the classic definition of an alcoholic - "someone who drinks more than his doctor". :-)

(reposted to fix typos!!)

AgainsTTheWall said...

Nwo thtsa fnnyu!!!!

Anonymous said...

I suspect Gilmore is suffering from chronic, advanced, publicityitis.