Thursday, 31 December 2009

It Takes Two To Tango, Yasmin...

The Yazzmonster seems to want to kick off 2010 in the same fashion as she spent 2009; writing pointless, easily-fiskable columns for anyone who'll pay her.

Today, it's the 'Daily Fail', a paper she'd be happy to castigate as a right-wing rag should any other paper fill her hand with green stuff. And the subject? Those bastard men and how they wreck women's lives, of course:
You look at the photograph of Maisie Copland, aged only four, and you see a cheeky lass, eyes the colour of Minstrel chocolates, full of light and mischief and total trust.

She is in the arms of her mother, Julie Harrison, 40, who looks much younger as she welcomes the camera with an open and optimistic face.

Yet behind this joyful image lies a story of such unbearable sadness that tears well-up, even though these two are strangers to you.
Yes, it's the story of the brutal killing and suicide in Hampshire, which Yasmin has wrapped up for the 'Fail' with a nice ribbon of mawkish sentimentality.
For you know that Maisie's father, Andrew Copland, must have looked into those same eyes, seconds before he decided to gun her down, and as her mother watched before she, too, was fatally shot.

Then the finale: his own suicide, a grandstanding gesture at Christmas, and a fitting melodrama to sign off his nasty life.
Now, anyone else might also think to ask why, given that he was a known bad 'un with a long history of violence and obsessive behaviour, Julie Harrison looked at this specimen and thought 'Ah, yes! The perfect stud! I must let this man impregnate me. What could go wrong?'

But not Yasmin, of course.
This truth is, this period of colour and songs, feasts and affirmation, makes some go wild and vicious and others feel unable to carry on with fakery, secrets and lies.

People lose their inhibitions and self-control, raw emotions are exposed.

Empathy vanishes as the ego swells and rolls like a huge snowball, crushing hopes and the true meaning of Christmas.
If there's anyone who knows about rampant ego, it's Yasmin. As we'll find out in a minute...

But first, some more 'Men are bastards!' laced with a dash of 'War is hell!':
Two weeks ago, in response to an an article I had written about the meaning of Christmas, I received a hand-written letter from a young woman whose husband is in the Army and was expected home from Afghanistan for Christmas.

Sarah (not her real name) was terrified of what that would mean for her and her young children. The 24-year-old soldier is violent and drinks too much.
So, why is she still with him, putting her children in danger?
'I hope you can understand my feelings,' she wrote.

'I want him home, and alive. But I know he will go for me and our son and make this a miserable month. I can't leave him because he will kill me.

'You don't know how unhappy Christmas is for many of us wives in the Army.

'War makes them monsters and when the whole country is rejoicing they feel bitter and take it out on us.

'Last December, I ended up with a broken wrist and rib. He took the tree and burned it.
So, Yasmin gleefully uses this (presumably private) correspondence to plug her themes that war makes men brutes (hang on, Yasmin, I thought they were anyway?) and women cannot hope to escape violent and abusive relationships.

Sorry, but it doesn't really add up, does it? Did the Army make this man violent and abusive? If so, why hasn't it made everyone else violent and abusive?

And you won't leave someone who might come home and kill you because if you do, he'll...kill you? Doesn't compute. Not when there are refuges galore all around the country.

But here we come to the kicker:
Custody battles, separations, betrayals, confessions, commotion and extreme brutality erupt during the jolly season, the surge suddenly throwing homes into chaos and darkness.

I know that better than most. Twenty-two years ago, my son and I were handed an unforgettable present.

The perfect father and husband decided to tell us about his mistress as we were just getting into our Christmas celebrations.
Yes, you read that right; Yasmin is comparing brutal beatings and homicide with...being told your husband has a mistress.

/golfclap

So, what does Yasmin suggest is the reason behind these occurrences?
So what is it that fuels such despair?

It can be the worst of times because of high levels of stress, debt and alcohol intake. But an overwhelming sense that everyone else is ecstatic and living the perfect dream must play its part.

There is nothing more pernicious in life to the millions who are unhinged or troubled than the idea of others living lives of perfect contentment.
There you go. No-one must ever enjoy themselves in public, because it triggers murderous rage in society's inadequates...

Not so hard to understand now why her husband had a mistress, is it?

9 comments:

ranter said...

Mr Brown must be a saint. I hjave some alternative names for him though.

Krauser said...

Yasmin sounds like the usual thug-chasing pond scum, as do the other two women referenced in her article.

Note this line:
"After she split from Andy she started a relationship with this much younger workmate and Andy was absolutely devastated,’ the family source said."

The subtext in cases of dads murdering their kids and ex before commiting suicide is almost always that the skank walked out on him and stole the kids. Could it be that the misandric divorce laws and cock-hopping you-go-girl culture of the UK are fuelling these murders?

Rather than debt, festivities or whatever else Yasmin is blathering on about?

Nah. Men must be to blame. Always always blame the man.

DJ said...

What Krauser said, plus isn't there a clue hidden in plain sight?

This is the Yazzmonster, the woman who thinks we need to understand the root causes of people blowing up trains, but redundant fathers? Scum, everyone of them.

If only the vics had been slain by Captain Hook, the Yazzmonster would be on full-empathy overload, but try asking her how much worse Christmas would have been if her departing husband had left with her son and refused to let her ever see him again, even while he subsidised his lifestyle with her chilimony.

PT Barnum said...

/shaking head in disbelief

I am so grateful to Ms Brown for her invaluable insights into the internal dynamics of a family whose feelings and needs remain so opaque to those related them. How she knows this shining truth, when those of us on the fringes of an ugly and untidy relationship, is a testament to her perspicacity. But I do wonder why she warned no one before it happened given her exceptional perceptive abilities.

Shall I be clearer, Ms Brown? How fucking dare you? You know nothing. Keep your stinking gob shut. Let the remnants of the family grieve without making them a tool in your specious campaign against... whatever it is you don't like this week.

PT Barnum said...

Apols for the missing clause, I'm a bit angry.

"those of us on the fringes who never saw this coming"

Furor Teutonicus said...

There is nothing more pernicious in life to the millions who are unhinged or troubled than the idea of others living lives of perfect contentment.

Aha!!!

I know what will come next;

"Ban ALL festivities because some people feel left out and therefore that is discriminatory".

Bye bye christmas, good bye Easter, fuck off birthday partys, you all must be as miserable as me".

JuliaM said...

"Mr Brown must be a saint."

He must be something, all right...

"Nah. Men must be to blame. Always always blame the man."

There's always 'understanding' for women who kill. That's what annoys me intensely. That's nearly always the fault of men too, of course...

"If only the vics had been slain by Captain Hook, the Yazzmonster would be on full-empathy overload..."

Good point!

"/shaking head in disbelief"

A common, and healthy, reaction to a Yasmin column! ;)

"I know what will come next..."

They ae wqorking their way to it, aren't they?

Mark said...

'Sorry, but it doesn't really add up, does it?'

Julia, you've hit upon the words that could usefully be applied to nearly everything Yazza writes.

More power to your elbow in 2010 !

Anonymous said...

What worries me is 'Sarah' who writes to Yazz. For what...advice? Wtf?!