Monday, 9 August 2010

Celebrity Twitter-followers…

…are rather like a troupe of monkeys.

As soon as they spot a predator (i.e. someone with a different opinion to their alpha-male troupe leader), the screeching, gibbering and poo-flinging begins, in an attempt to drive off the danger and return to their happy, unchallenging lives of picking lice off one another and grooming the troupe leader in the vain hope of scoring some status.

Such it is with followers of ‘Dragon’s Den’ panellist Duncan Bannatyne*, who responded to disagreement with the authoritarian nutjob’s position on smoking on Sunday afternoon thus:


Ahhh, technology. Once, you had to travel half-way around the globe to watch fascinating, primitive primate rituals. Now, you log on, and do it from the comfort of your armchair.

* Note: Link contains images of Duncan Bannatyne. This blog accepts no responsibility for damage to keyboard/monitor/walls should this prove startling to you...

16 comments:

Ross said...

In Frankie Boyle's live DVD one of the biggest cheers from the audience occurs when he describes an encounter with Bannatyne and sums up with:

"What a tremendous......... fucking cunt he is"

Still he is only the 3rd most irritating on Dragon's Den (Peter Jones in number 1 of course).

Rightwinggit said...

Are you meant to read that twitter shit from the bottom up?

The screenshot doesn't make any difference, or sense, anyway.

Away with this bauble.

BenS said...

...looks like a job well done to me!

Dick Puddlecote said...

They are quick to block when faced with reasoned debate, too. Though some are still having fun with a few of them. ;)

Jiks said...

Any comment I make might be deemed as throwing poo back at the twitter monkeys ^^

Henry Crun said...

And there we have it. Proof that Twitter is nothing more than haiku for morons.

Captain Haddock said...

I'm grateful that Julia explained who this Bannatyne bloke is, because until earlier today, I'd never heard of him ..

Which rather demonstrates his relevance to the world at large ..

Bannatyne .. fuck off, you're a waste of oxygen & rations ...

Quiet_Man said...

Honestly what a knobhead! One of those faux celebrities who seems to think an appearance on tv should make his words of wisdom be accepted without question.

The Filthy Engineer said...

I think they hate you Julia. Then again they are the type the statist propoganda they are fed obviously.

*Lights up fag and blows smoke into his children's faces*.

Corrugated Soundbite said...

"SeanCoyle"'s misspelling was so good he managed to misspell it twice.

He's a write plonker, if you ask me.

JJ said...

Duncan Bannatyne...does'nt just crap through his aresehole!

It's his weapons grade white teeth that blind me when looking at his picture...I have to wear a welders mask...you can see where he spends most of his loot...positively radio-active!

Isn't he the caveman's bumhole that believes its child abuse to smoke in front of childreeeen?

Umbongo said...

Bannatyne is a particularly egregious example of a celebrity like, for instance Bono, who succeeds mightily in his own limited field and goes on to pontificate about every issue under the sun. It's no surprise that both Bono and Bannatyne are forever being bigged up by the BBC whose world-view is reflected exactly by Bannatyne's and Bono's strutting ignorance and big-mouthed lefty authoritarianism. I might listen to Bannatyne telling me how to make money but, on everything else, his opinion is worth exactly nothing coming, as it does, from an ill-educated gaol bird.

Angry Exile said...

Thank you, Julia. Every time I think about using Twatter someone or something reminds me why I don't and the temptation goes away again. Owe you one :-)

Blognor Regis said...

The great Ross Noble used to do some Twitter pranks where his followers would ask a target daft questions all at once and seemingly without direction. Kerry McCarthy, fair play, responded well. Doritos gave noble a stack of product which he took to the troops in Afghanistan. (He said he only played to the British Army as "the Taliban don't really get my stuff") Bannatyne, who'd I'd previously never heard of, just acted like a complete dick. "Noble is trying to court a following, get at me because I'm famous." He was utterly up his own fundament. Ross Noble gave up the game after that.

JuliaM said...

"Still he is only the 3rd most irritating on Dragon's Den (Peter Jones in number 1 of course)."

I don't think I've ever watched it, so he was completely unknown to me before now...

"Are you meant to read that twitter shit from the bottom up?"

Yes, though you can organise your timeline to run the other way, I think.

"They are quick to block when faced with reasoned debate, too."

Not sure I've been blocked by anyone yet. I rarely bother to check, mind you...

"Proof that Twitter is nothing more than haiku for morons."

I thought that at first, but now, I think it's a great complement to other forms of bloggine.

"One of those faux celebrities who seems to think an appearance on tv should make his words of wisdom be accepted without question."

Indeed! We seem to have a lot of those...

"Isn't he the caveman's bumhole that believes its child abuse to smoke in front of childreeeen?"

The very one.

"I might listen to Bannatyne telling me how to make money but, on everything else, his opinion is worth exactly nothing coming, as it does, from an ill-educated gaol bird."

I wonder how much the one stems from the other..?

"Every time I think about using Twatter someone or something reminds me why I don't and the temptation goes away again."

Heh!

Seriously though, it's like anything else. Tools are only as good as their users...

"Bannatyne, who'd I'd previously never heard of, just acted like a complete dick."

he seems to lack any kind of self-awareness whatsoever. Scientists should study him.

Actually, make that vivisectionists...

Angry Exile said...

"Seriously though, it's like anything else. Tools are only as good as their users..."

But the example you give suggests many of the users are also tools, and therein lies the problem :-)