I Think I’ve Found A Hot Date….

…for delicate flower of the Scottish Constabulary Les Gray:

Four police officers held a 90 minute 'restorative justice conference' with five schoolboys after they called a woman constable 'PC Nipples.'

A ninety-minute discussion..!?

In this instance the woman PC, a sergeant and two other officers met with the boys to make them aware of the consequences their behavior had on the victim.

The ‘victim’ being someone who is expected to deal with life at the sharp end?

Good grief, if she can’t cope with a bit of cheek from some schoolboys…

The woman officer had visited Purbeck School in Wareham, Dorset, last month to talk to the boys about a playground scrap as her role as a school liaison officer.

It is understood she was called the names 'PC Nipples' and 'PC Ball Sack' while she was out of the room and was told of the remarks moments later.

/facepalm

She didn't even have it said direct to her?!

Reg Foy, whose son was one of those involved, said: "All the parents of the boys were telephoned and called to this justice conference.

"The meeting consisted of three uniformed officers, one being a sergeant to 'chair' it, one plain clothes community safety manager, one teacher, four sets of parents and the five boys concerned.

"The meeting lasted for one-hour-and-forty minutes and concluded with the boys apologising to the female constable for name calling.

"At the end of the day it was a bit of name calling, the boys were wrong and they apologised."

Of course, a swift clip round the lug’ole would have been a lot more appropriate and resource-friendly. Either from you, or from little PC Delicate Knickers…

Yvonne Surman, Dorset police safe schools and communities team manager said: "The female officer is based at the school one day a week.

"In the course of her duties she was the subject of verbal abuse of a sexual nature from a group of students.

"In line with the values of the team, the officer expressed to teachers that she would prefer the incident to be dealt with through a restorative justice conference in which she would come face to face with the students with the aim of helping them to realise the effect of their behaviour.

"This restorative approach was an alternative to the standard punitive measures which would have been taken by the school under usual circumstances and the team received positive feedback from both the parents and the officer involved in the conference."

I don’t know what they charge at the training centre that coaches these people into coming up with that sort of mealy-mouthed gobbledegook, but if they manage to impart it without dissolving into tears of helpless laughter, it must be worth it.

Or, it would be, if we weren’t paying for it.

Richard Holman, the headteacher of Purbeck School, said: "The school was working in partnership with Dorset Police. The event was organised by the police with our agreement."

Then you’re an even bigger cretin than little PC Prim And Proper…

Angry Exile is of the same mind. And ponders the response of the real police who may be called upon to back her up, and expect backup in return, some day:

"How's that going to play with your colleagues? Are they going to wonder if someone who can't take the pressure of duty at a school without becoming a victim of a few puerile comments can be relied on when the chips are down? Are some of them going to think that PC Delicate might be best off behind a desk in an interior office or even, dare I say it, in front of an oven while the boys and girls who can take the stick that goes with the job go out and get on with it?"

A very good question.