Coming Soon To Granny’s Care Home, Dizzy J And ‘Fang’….

Young offenders in London are to help train dangerous dogs which have been abused by gangs in an attempt to help the animals find new homes.

Which are the ‘animals’ we’re talking about here, I’m confused? And who could dream up such a barmy scheme?

The scheme called Project Lead is being launched by Kensington and Chelsea council and is partly to cut the costs of housing dogs privately because local shelters are full.

Aha!

Boy, I bet the liability insurance they’ve had to take out will negate that saving before long…

Battersea Dogs Home says 50 per cent of its intake is Staffordshire bull terriers. Staff at the home put the rise down to "irresponsible" dog-breeding and popularity among young people in the capital.

Yes, indeed. Not just any young people though, right?

Project Lead will teach the young offenders training techniques and also includes a scheme where they take trained dogs into care homes using the pets as therapy, to help bridge the gap between young people and the elderly.

So when granny is in hospital with severe throat lacerations, don’t accept the care home’s explanation that it’s just a large papercut from falling awkwardly on her copy of the ‘Radio Times’…