Tuesday 23 April 2019

When Your Bullshit Story On Behalf Of Your Client Is Destroyed In Open Court...

Elizabeth Aisbill, mitigating on behalf of Beasley, said he was extremely apologetic. He had been burgled two months ago and believed he was suffering from post traumatic stress disorder, and had the dog as company.
Blah, blah, blah. Do they ever get tired of trotting out this nonsense?
She said: "He is a heroin user. He gets through £40 of heroin on a daily basis. He is receiving help from the North East Council on Addictions."
However probation officers said Beasley had missed a number of his NECA appointments and he wasn't as far along with rehab as they hoped.
Heh! I believe the kiddies say 'PWND!', Ms Aisbill...
Beasley admitted having a dangerously out of control dog, possessing a knife and possessing amphetamine.
I thought he used heroin?
Magistrates handed him a 16-week prison sentence, suspended for 18 months, ordered him to pay £85 costs, a £115 victim surcharge and £150 compensation. They ordered that both the knife and drugs were destroyed and banned him from owning a dog for three years.
*sigh* Hopefully they at least destroyed the dog, too..?
The Crown Prosecution service applied for an order to destroy the dog but magistrates refused as the dog's owner was not present.
WTAF?

4 comments:

Hector Drummond, Vile Novelist said...

So he has to pay £350 in compensation and costs. Which is less than 9 days heroin use.

microdave said...

"He gets through £40 of heroin on a daily basis. He is receiving help from the North East Council on Addictions."

And who the fcuk pays for all that? - Oh, let me guess, the taxpayers...

Ted Treen said...

Can I get someone to fund me £40 per day 'cos I like Theakson's "Old Peculier" and Hook Norton's "Old Hooky"?

I'd be very good & commit no crimes, honest!

JuliaM said...

"Which is less than 9 days heroin use."

I'd be in favour of giving him all the heroin he wants. On condition he takes it all at once.

"And who the fcuk pays for all that? - Oh, let me guess, the taxpayers..."

Yup!

"Can I get someone to fund me £40 per day 'cos I like Theakson's "Old Peculier" and Hook Norton's "Old Hooky"?"

Lol! Hmmm. £40 a day buys a lot of gin, too...