Saturday, 18 April 2009

The UK Today: Mawkish Sentimentality 'R Us...

I always wondered how bloggers became 'swearbloggers'. Is it because they have a natural flair with the scatalogical descriptive?

Or is it because one day, they see, read or hear something that cannot be conveyed using plain English, so clearly is it an indication of how this country is completely losing its collective shit! FFS! WTFF!..!

*whew* Glad to get that off my chest...

And what prompts this, you ask? Well, it seems a footballer (no, not a famous one - I think, anyway!) has been suspended from his club for 14 days for 'inappropriate behaviour'.

Well, you'll say, that's typical. What did he do? Smash up his Ferrari? Spit roast a couple of teenage groupies? Assault someone after a drunken nightclub evening?

Well, no. He failed to show adequate interest in the Two Minute Hate Sorrow.

To translate this into English, he can be seen 'smiling and nudging a team-mate'.

He didn't drop his trousers and moon the stands, he didn't stick two fingers up to the opposing team. He didn't vault onto the pitch and urinate on the referee.

He simply failed to stand there and play along with the rest of the players, who may (or may not) have been thinking of the Hillsborough tragedy, but certainly looked as if they were. And in the UK today, that's all that matters...

And the Football Authorities are minded to have him made an example of, lest their supporters deluge their mailbags with self-pitying, self-righteous complaints that a young French man employed on £stupidmoney per month simply to kick a leather ball around a pitch failed to understand that he needs to fit in with the superstitions and practices of the locals:
Les Lawson, secretary of the Merseyside branch of the official Liverpool Supporters' Club, said: "I think he should be sacked.

"There is no excuse for not showing respect to the 96 supporters.

"It was a sombre occasion and for him to do what he was doing was a total and utter disgrace.
...

...

Nope, I still can't figure out why he should be sacked, either. A few words about his behaviour are all that would be necessary. Hell, a glare from a coach of the likes of Bryan Clough would once have been adequate punishment. But that was then, and this is now.

Christ, why don't we just go the whole hog, overthrow the Queen, install Jeremy Kyle as the monarch (with Tricia or Vanessa as his consort), replace the national anthem with Elton John's 'Candle In The Wind' and have done with it...

The UK - a nation of self-pitying, overblown hysterics. No wonder everyone's leaving.

20 comments:

ranter said...

I thought we had done all those things!

NickM said...

I couldn't believe they did this over Hillsborough. Bloody hell. It was twenty years ago and the scousers are still banging on about it like it was the worst thing ever, ever in the whole history of the Universe. A sort of Scouse 9/11.

Tell ya what let's draw-up a big list of disasters and tragedies, select by phone vote the top 365 and everday can be a memorial day.

Macheath said...

Couldn't agree more! Itandje was 6 years old (and living in another country) when the disaster happened. How could it have any personal significance for him?

He may have indulged in immature back-row sniggering, but his 'crime' was to be caught doing so on camera; a salutory lesson for us all in these days of mass surveillance.

JuliaM said...

"Tell ya what let's draw-up a big list of disasters and tragedies, select by phone vote the top 365.."

Hmmm.....

*dials Channel Four production office*

"He may have indulged in immature back-row sniggering, but his 'crime' was to be caught doing so on camera..."

Exactly! How many of those other players were mentally composing shopping lists, planning holidays, etc?

It's no longer what you do that marks you out in society. It's what it looks like you do....

Von Spreuth said...

XXX NickM said...

I couldn't believe they did this over Hillsborough. Bloody hell. It was twenty years ago and the scousers are still banging on about it like it was the worst thing ever, ever in the whole history of the Universe. A sort of Scouse 9/11.XXX

Remember this;

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-366403/Community-grieves-dead-chicken.html

Still surprised?

Von Brandenburg-Preußen.

North Northwester said...

lol!

"The UK - a nation of self-pitying, overblown hysterics. No wonder everyone's leaving."

Yes indeedy, and then we could sing the new National Anthem about ourselves, to ourselves;

God save the Drama Queens.

Young Mr. Brown said...

I agree completely with what you say.

But there is another side of this.

Remember that this was a service. In other words, it is about religion. The religion in question is Liverpool F.C. And the followers of this religion have payed Mr. Itandje very big money indeed to be one of their high priests. And so they expect him to act with reverence. That is part of what they pay him to do.

It may be a totally silly religion, and Mr. Itandje may not believe in its core doctrines, but it is a religion which is taken very seriously by its adherents, and those who make their money from it should be prepared to swot up on its beliefs and pay lip service to them in public.

Mr Eugenides said...

We are talking about Liverpool here, after all. A more mawkish, chippy and self-pitying place you could not imagine.

Boris was right - or rather, Simon Heffer, who actually wrote the infamous Spectator piece in question, was.

jd said...

"The UK - a nation of self-pitying, overblown hysterics."

We're certainly going that way.. However, in this particular case, the self-pitying overblown hysterics were coming specifically from Merseyside - an area renowned for such behaviour and wallowing in self-perceived victimhood.

David Vance said...

It started with Dianafication and culminated in Goodyfication. The farce over this is pathetic but it serves a purpose - to FORCE us all to say, feel and do what is required.

Edwin Greenwood said...

Typical scouse behaviour (TSB), I fear. Liverpudlians have always been totally up themselves, wallowing luxuriantly in their own righteous victimhood.

When I was growing up in Manchester 50 years ago, the sound of the incessant whingeing coming from 40 miles away down the far end of the East Lancs Road used to keep us awake at night. No wonder I grew up into a bad-tempered bastard - I had to move down to London for a bit of peace.

Edwin Greenwood said...

Incidentally, did anybody else hear Rogan Taylor, the William Shankly Professor of Football at the University of Liverpool, claiming on the wireless that the introduction of all-seater stadia following after Hillsborough was part of the bourgeoisization of football, implying that it was an act of class war?

JuliaM said...

"...the introduction of all-seater stadia following after Hillsborough was part of the bourgeoisization of football..."

*rolls eyes*

Ever get the feeling you're one of the few grown-ups in a world of kiddies?

Rob Farrington said...

I'd post a more insightful comment, only I can't see properly because I'm still in tears over Jade's death.

North Northwester said...

Rob Farrington said..."I'd post a more insightful comment, only I can't see properly because I'm still in tears over Jade's death."


Insensitive bastard! You mean to tell me that you're so over Diana after a mere twelve years that you've got time for some racist trollop? Shame on you. Have you no heart?

Von Spreuth said...

North Northwester said...
Insensitive bastard! You mean to tell me that you're so over Diana
Diana? Who the fucks Diana?

Von Brandenburg-Preußen.

Edwin Greenwood said...

I've mentioned this before but it bears retelling. In the week after the death of Our Lady Diana, Gracious Queen of Hearts and Royal Brood Mare emeritus, I boarded a bus in South London (Greenwich, I think). The driver, unbidden, shared his vicarious feelings of grief with me (perhaps I have a sympathetic face) and then promptly burst into tears.

I felt it advisable, in the interests of road safety -- my road safety, to leave the bus at the next stop and wait for the next one.

Umbongo said...

Of course, as Jacqui and the BBC are seeking to inform us despite censorship imposed by the Conservatives, it's all the fault of Mrs Thatcher. She was there you know, kicking the dying and urinating on the injured. Although no photos are available there are many people (funnily enough, mostly Labour Party supporters) who will swear at the upcoming inquiry that they saw Mrs T and her SS outriders preventing ambulances reaching the ground.

Nigel Sedgwick said...

I have some rather inconclusive views on this.

Firstly, it seems an improvement in the quality of life of football team supporters that they can sit down safely and enjoy their sport. Though quite why it takes 96 deaths to get the seats that the rest of the (at least first) world has accepted as reasonably necessary does strike me as lackadaisical. Perhaps we should actually be celebrating the end of some mean-minded self-serving (and for once truthful) avoidance of 'elf-n-safety'. [And I say this having never attended a sports match (well, a non-school event with an audience above 100) in my life.]

Secondly, and finally, I've always been rather fond of Remembrance Day, and of what it reminds us, and of what it tells us about the human condition. However, as I 'remember' it, attendance there is voluntary - and I've never seen anything shown but solemnity and, presumably, respect for the purpose of the event. Was attendance at this event, by Mr Itandje, truly voluntary? Any condemnation I have rests on that point.

Best regards

Anonymous said...

RIP those that lost their lives. Now... the 14th of October 2009, the day we all stopped talking about hillsborough. People will say where where you when we stopped talking about hillsborough? Lets light a candle for the day we stopped talking about hillsborough?

There are lots more to worry about now lets actually let the dead rest in peace instead of raking it through the news every year!