So, What’s An ‘Offensive Comment’?

Because, in order to be convicted of it under UK law, you’d think it’s have to be pretty obscene. The sort of language I couldn’t repeat here.

Well, not quite:

Ian Evans, of Compton Road, Colchester, admitted making offensive comments to train guard Darren Williams when he asked to see his photo card.

The offensive comment in question? Well, hold onto your hats…

Colchester Magistrates’ Court heard Evans, 40, said “hello Shrek” when Mr Williams asked to see his pass on the 5.45pm Clacton to Liverpool Street train.

In a statement, read out in court, Mr Williams, said: “I found this offensive, as the character is 6ft, green and repulsive.

“I asked him not to call me that again, and his reply was ‘sorry Shrek’.”

At this stage, I’m not sure a magistrate’s court is the right destination for these sort of things.

Perhaps detention and a clip round the ear?

Evans, who represented himself, at the hearing on Wednesday, said he made the comments because Mr Williams had not asked him politely.

He added: “If someone is polite to me, I’ll be polite back.

“I felt victimised by this gentleman.

“I don’t see why I should always be asked for my photo ID when other people on the train are not.”

He may have a point. This may well be a case of ‘big uniform, little man’ syndrome, as outlined by BlueEyes in the comments here.

And I’ve been known to issue a tart rebuke to any inspector mumbling ‘ticket!’ under their breath without a 'please' too…

Chief magistrate Andrew Schooler said: “There is clearly a history here between you and the railway.

“It will become very expensive for you if it doesn’t stop.”

Frankly, this sort of thing is already expensive for us, the taxpayer.

And this taxpayer would like it to stop.