I don’t think this bunch have heard anything yet, compared to the screeching and flapping that’s no doubt to come:
Southend Council may soon ask traders to pay extra for better street cleaning or lighting, and to support events such as the airshow.Yes, extra. On top of their normal business rates….
Businesses in a chosen area would be asked more in business rates to fund a five-year programme, aimed at boosting trade.Well, if it’s to boost trade, how could they refuse?
Do they have any plans to boost trade?
Roger Fisher, a member of the Southend Seafront Illuminations and Business Association, is backing the move.Hmmm, a board, eh? I can’t say that fills me with much confidence. But maybe they have some good ideas about…
He said: “Generally, it would be a good thing. It would give businesses a bit more freedom and make it easier to obtain things.
“The district would be run by a board with a certain amount of independence over spending and a degree of autonomy. The council would collect the levy alongside non-domestic rates.
Oh:
“It might pay for improved cleaning, additional security or even to hire street advisors to help shoppers and visitors.‘Improved cleaning’? ‘Street advisers’? Good grief!
And what about those businesses who don’t want to take this up? Will they be forced to pay too? Or will the ‘street advisors’ simply not direct the public to their doors?
The project will be discussed at the council’s cabinet meeting on November 2.I bet you’ll get some. I do hope you’ll publish it….
Ian Robertson, councillor responsible for enterprise (Ed: he used to be responsible for ‘public protection’…), said: “It is in the very early stages, but it is very exciting for the town. We need feedback from businesses before we can say much about it.”
9 comments:
Great quote that, who said it?
WTF is this obsession with coordinators and advisors? Every time I hear either word, I just think of Legz Akimbo, and am torn nbetween laughter and tears!
Charge traders more to trade in order to boost trade.
Oh, that's genius that is.
A lad I went to school with left at 16 and got a clerical job for the council (Gateshead) and he described the end of meetings thus. He said they "ping-ponged" down the corridors because they'd all got slaughtered at the (subsidised) bar.
All seems to make sense now.
Something here rings a bell - ah yes: Louis Theroux meeting 'area boys' in Lagos.
Local taxi drivers and traders pay regular 'taxes' to these organised groups - run by adult local bosses in the name of a 'National Union' - in return for being allowed to ply their trade.
In fact, as far as I remember, the area boys have an 'additional security' thing going too...
"And what about those businesses who don’t want to take this up? Will they be forced to pay too?"
No they will get blown up - 10:10 style....
"Local taxi drivers and traders pay regular 'taxes' to these organised groups"
Yes .. this sounds ominously familiar .. PIRA had the same scheme running in West Belfast for many years .. and very successfully too ..
What's this bit about "asked"?
Is that "asked" as in council speak, meaning "demanding money with menaces"?
"Great quote that, who said it?"
Jean Baptiste Colbert according to the Net!
"All seems to make sense now."
It's just about the only thing that does...
"In fact, as far as I remember, the area boys have an 'additional security' thing going too..."
I've no doubt it was a far more useful contribution than an elderly security guard and the Southend Magistrate's Court could manage too! PIRA's as well.
"Is that "asked" as in council speak, meaning "demanding money with menaces"?"
Not yet. But that's what they all turn into before too long, isn't it?
It might pay for improved cleaning
= "Pay us more money and maybe we'll do properly one of the things you are already paying us for"
Imagine Tesco et al trying it: "You've already paid 40p for that tin of beans; now pay us another 40p and you can actually have them."
I don't know, it might be a good idea.
Let's create a shadow council that does the things like street cleaning that we expect councils to do. When this comparatively efficient body is running, we can abolish the old council who can no longer claim they are doing "essential" services
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