Tuesday 7 June 2011

”Oh, doctor, I’m in trouble…”

Doctors are to be drafted into the fight against terrorism by being asked to identify patients at risk of being drawn into violent extremism.
Well, goodness gracious me!
The so-called "Prevent" strategy will also promise a drive against the spread of hardline Islamist teaching in prisons, which are often targeted by extremists as recruiting grounds. All convicted terrorists will have their beliefs countered while in jail and other offenders who could have fallen foul of "preachers of hate" will be tracked after their release.
And just how will they have their beliefs ‘countered’?

And who will be tracking them? The security services have already said they can’t handle the task of keeping tabs on all the people currently under suspicion.

Who’s going to do it? Surely not the probation service!
Ms May is expected to argue that millions of pounds have been wasted on anti-terror projects overseas, in nations such as Pakistan, with little proof they have tackled problems in Britain – while similar programmes in this country have been neglected.
Well, that’s not going to endear her to The Dave, is it?

Community groups applying for public money will have to prove they do not espouse hardline views.
How? I mean, how do they prove that? Who is going to monitor them? You’d need an army of civil servants to…

Oh. Right.

12 comments:

Ranter said...

you really can't make it up anymore. Lunatics are running asylums. Everyone in the real world knows the answers but politicians it seems are unable to accept them. You'd think ANY government after Blair and especially after Brown could do no wrong but these clowns seem unable or unwilling to accept this legacy. Instead there's will be one of utter pointlessness and a big waste of time and money.

Anonymous said...

My doctor is a nutter anyway. NIce guy. Why should he be spying on me?

patently said...

Their beliefs will be countered.

Oh, no they won't

Yes, they will be countered, because they're wrong.

Oh, no they won't

Yes, they will be countered.

Oh, no they won't

Yes.... ad infinitum...

Anonymous said...

"Doctors are to be drafted into the fight against terrorism by being asked to identify patients at risk of being drawn into violent extremism"

I'm drawn to violent extremism every time I visit a hospital and see how filthy the wards are, see the nurses sat on their fat arses reading Hello magazine, whilst the elderly are having to be prescribed water because the staff can't be arsed to do their fucking jobs!!!!!!!!

Sue said...

Do you know, I couldn't believe it when I saw it.

Please sir, drop your trousers I want to see if you have "I'm a Jihady tattooed on your willy".

What is she on? I want some.

Anonymous said...

Doctor to bearded loon: "You smoke too much, your diet has too much salt, you are not getting your five a day with all that halal crap... oh yes, and you are a violent extremist with narrow minded, anti-western views. Anyway, as your GP it is my duty to take a good look at those first three..."

Captain Haddock said...

Doctors will base their assessments of who might, or might not be at risk of becoming involved in terrorism, on the the following criteria ..

1 .. Beri-Beri

2 .. Inflammation

3 .. Whooping-cough

4 .. Night-starvation

Persons so identified will then require a further appointment with the Home Secretary, who will write them a prescription for a holiday at the Taxpayer's expense ..


When the music stops ......

English Viking said...

Seems to me that almost all terrorists are Pakis, and almost all Drs are Pakis, so that plan is going to work great, eh?

I remember some NHS Drs (Pakis) ram-raiding Glasgow airport and spontaneously combusting.

If they were that bothered about the problem, we'd have Martial Law in Sparkbrook and mass-deportations in Burnley.

I'll let you into a little secret ... they don't care.

Laban said...

"My bomb goes boom-boody-boom-
boody-boom-boody-boom
boody-boom-boody-boom
boody-boom-boom-boom
boom-boody-boom-
boody-boom-boody-boom"


"Well goodness gracious me"

JuliaM said...

"you really can't make it up anymore."

This government seems on course to make 'The Daily Mash' redundant...

"I'm drawn to violent extremism every time I visit a hospital and see how filthy the wards are..."

That one didn't seem to be covered, though they did mention animal rights activists. Presumably they'll be easy to spot as they'll refuse all drugs tested on animals...

""My bomb goes boom-boody-boom-
boody-boom-boody-boom
boody-boom-boody-boom
boody-boom-boom-boom
boom-boody-boom-
boody-boom-boody-boom"

"Well goodness gracious me""


:D

Captain Haddock said...

English Viking said ..."

Seems to me that almost all terrorists are Pakis, and almost all Drs are Pakis ... "

It used to be said that an "Apple a day, keeps the Doctor away" ..

These days a Ham sarnie is likely to be more effective ..

Brian said...

The UK has lost 371 servicemen and women in Aghanistan in the war against terrorism. I consider that Britain would be safer today if politicians had been willing to risk those lives in combined police/army operations to root out the problem here instead of playing whack the mole faraway.