Monday 11 July 2011

From Hull, Hell And Halifax…

…good Lord, deliver us. Especially from Hull:
Delaney, a prolific offender, was jailed for two years in 2009 for robbery.

For years, she caused havoc by shouting and screaming in the streets and trying to barge into people's homes.

She was given an Asbo, banning her from prostitution and from taking her clothes off in public.
Any readers thinking the judge was a bit of a spoilsport on that last condition should consider a picture of the offender:


Yes, that's what I thought you'd say...

Anyone wondering if the ASBO will work?
She breached her order three times in 12 days.
Shocker...

Meanwhile:
"You have been quite lucky to avoid prison."
Oh, yes, Recorder Smith, it’s just ‘luck’, isn’t it, it’s got nothing to do with your decision to let him go free?
Gleeson has been given a six-month community order and ordered to attend a specified activity course and a "chance to change" course run by the Probation Service.

He has also been given a curfew from 7pm to 7am for six months.
Well, I expect he was suitably chastened by his experience, and resolved to go st...

Oh.


The court heard he lives on benefits and is in the process of applying for work.
As a roofer, perhaps?

13 comments:

Curmudgeon said...

Umm, the comments on the first article are a bit, er, enlightening...

Asbored said...

"is in the process of applying for work."

Would that be Jobseeker's Allowance?

If so, I suspect that no matter letters he writes to potential employers the move from jobseeker to jobachiever might be tricky for a while.

Captain Haddock said...

If God ever decided to give the world an enema ..

He'd stick the nozzle in Hull ..

The only place in Britain where the seagulls fly upside down .. cos there's bugger all worth crapping on ..

Oldrightie said...

The only place in Britain where the seagulls fly upside down .. cos there's bugger all worth crapping on ..

Oh yes there is, Lord of The Pies head for a start.

sbc1 said...

"He was caught after his DNA was found on a tool bag left at the scene."

Sounds like he needs all the 'help' he can get.

...and Capt Haddock, you've obviously never been to Norfolk...that's the real arse hole of the UK except the county would enjoy the divine enema cos it'd remind them of 'game' daddy used to play with them when the sheep weren't in season.

Sue said...

Prostitution? I wonder what she paid her customers?

I think if I lived in Hull, I'd get two huge dogs.

Anonymous said...

Two words. Labour. Camp.

It was good enough for my grandfather. He was an officer in the RAN. He helped build a railway.

If 1/3 of them starved, well, hey, that's life.

Budvar said...

Labour and camp? That's all well and good, but what does Mandelson have to do with anything...

Anonymous said...

"...banning her from prostitution ?"

She's got a face like a goat's satchell and no doubt a Jack and Danny like a clown's pocket.

Christ, even Stevie Wonder would blanch at the sight of that.

MTG said...

It is appropriate to bring the attention of Southern commenters to Hull's unique features. There are records to the effect that Hull long enjoyed an exalted reputation for culinary delights of the dietary improvisation kind. Like Buchenwald, it has its own menu, telephone system, liberation policy and entrance logo.

Gull reforme, once as popular as fish and chips, is a delicacy now in short supply due to over trapping of the now protected seagull. The city logo of a seagull dropping out of a blue sky, serves as a poignant reminder of better times.

Bangladesh continues to send development aid but due to a shortage of mud, Hull still lags behind in its post-Blitz housing repair programme.

I do hope this résumé dispels unjustifiable preconceptions.

Tattyfalarr said...

"She was given an Asbo, banning her from prostitution and from taking her clothes off in public. She breached her order three times in 12 days.

Delaney was eventually given a five-year Asbo."


Cos if the first asbo doesn't stop her runnin around nekkid then surely the next one will...or the next...or the next...right ?

Perhaps there was a kinky magistrate who didn't want the free peep-show to end ;)

Captain Haddock said...

"Gull reforme, once as popular as fish and chips, is a delicacy now in short supply due to over trapping of the now protected seagull. The city logo of a seagull dropping out of a blue sky, serves as a poignant reminder of better times" ...

Which accounts for the fact that the denizens of this un-imaginably horrendous, pus-filled carbuncle on the face of the earth, are known as .. "Hully Gullies" ..

JuliaM said...

"Umm, the comments on the first article are a bit, er, enlightening..."

Aren't they, though!

"..I suspect that no matter letters he writes to potential employers..."

Letters? He look like a wordsmith to you?

"Prostitution? I wonder what she paid her customers?"

LOL!

"Perhaps there was a kinky magistrate who didn't want the free peep-show to end ;)"

Is it possible to even BE that kinky?