Friday, 30 November 2012

I Think Now He’ll Have To Be Dubbed ‘Muppet Mike’…

A bungling robber dubbed ‘Murder Mike’ was jailed for 30 years today for accidentally shooting his accomplice as they tried to steal a cache of fake Rolex watches.
Yup, you read it right - fake Rolexes…

That little wrinkle didn't make it into the initial reports, did it?
In fact, the three Submariner watches had been bought over the internet for £118 each by intended victim Jordaan Williams to dupe unsuspecting buyers.
*chuckles*
In a statement read to the court, Mr Barnes’ mother and father, Judith and Douglas, said: ‘The senseless killing of our son has been like a bad nightmare.’
Mmm, I expect it was a bit of an experience for Mr Williams, too.

But then, since he was also a would-be villain… Bah! A plague on all your houses!

17 comments:

Anonymous said...

Bunny

A good news day then, minimum tarrif of 30 years, making him 57 when he gets out and unemployable. So it will be 8 years of sitting around doing nothing (other than petty crime) until he is 65 and then retirement. Now if they hung him, he would save the taxpayer a fortune. Or he hung himself out of remorse for being a useless bastard.

Now if in the intervening thirty years they introduce compuslory hard labour and contributory benefits, who would complain.

jaded said...

NHI yet again.
I wonder if the parents of the dead criminal (re-united for the day?) will be photographed holding a picture of their son aged about 11 in his school uniform.Let's guess the quotes-"he was no angel but didn't deserve this","he got in with the wrong crowd","he loved his dear old gran".
Sadly predictable.

Demetrius said...

A candidate for the Darwin Awards?

John Pickworth said...

I haven't seen the comments from the dead man's family and friends but won't go looking for them either.

At the end of the day, these guys set out to steal from others they knew. Younger brothers of a friend of a friend. The same younger brother of a friend who intended to rip-off you or someone you knew with a fake watch. Ironically, one of them was then shot by his best mate. The same mate that then blamed someone else rather than fess up.

Read the comments? Why? The words are meaningless as are the main characters in this sorry saga. For a community that puts great store in showing 'respect', they seem remarkably relaxed about fucking one another over for mere trinkets.

MTG said...

Admit it. I wasn't alone thinking of 'that' song from The Life of Brian.

Twenty_Rothmans said...

This flatnosed beast should be worked to death but I have to give him credit for finding a hoodie with his IQ on the front.

Daniel Tesfay, 27, blasted Jonathan Barnes, 20, in the head

I expect he'll make a full recovery, then.

allcoppedout said...

All three are clearly graduates of the thinking skills programme and the event a misinterpretation of what a Mexican stand-off was.

Anonymous said...

Stonyground says:

Since modern technology now enables us to buy a really accurate watch for a tenner, and a really nice accurate watch for fifty quid. Doesn't wearing a Rolex identify you as an imbecile with more money than sense?

Wearing a fake Rolex presumably means that you do have good taste in reasonably priced and accurate watches, but you would prefer that people think that you are an imbecile with more money than sense.

Robert the Biker said...

Stonyground says:

Since modern technology now enables us to buy a really accurate watch for a tenner, and a really nice accurate watch for fifty quid. Doesn't wearing a Rolex identify you as an imbecile with more money than sense?
No, because that Rolex will be an heirloom that you can hand down through six generations-there is such a thing as quality still in this world.

MTG said...

As with Marmite you either like Rolex, or you don't.

Stonyground has a point which extends sympathy to Scrooge who hopes to convince his love this Christmas, that a new glass solitaire is better value than a vulgar 3-carat diamond.

JuliaM said...

"Now if in the intervening thirty years they introduce compuslory hard labour and contributory benefits, who would complain."

The 'Guardian', the 'Independent', the Prison Reform Trust, etc, etc...

"NHI yet again."

Indeed. I won't bother even looking for the Tiny Violin here.

"A candidate for the Darwin Awards?"

Sadly, he's almost certain to have reproduced, even if he doesn't know it.

"For a community that puts great store in showing 'respect', they seem remarkably relaxed about fucking one another over for mere trinkets."

Rather reminds me of that classic line from 'Aliens':

Ripley: You know, Burke, I don't know which species is worse. You don't see them fucking each other over for a goddamn percentage.

JuliaM said...

"Admit it. I wasn't alone thinking of 'that' song from The Life of Brian."

You weren't!

"...but I have to give him credit for finding a hoodie with his IQ on the front."

Heh!

"All three are clearly graduates of the thinking skills programme..."

Yes, I rather think we need to see some evaluation of those courses. Ans this ain't it!

"..that Rolex will be an heirloom that you can hand down through six generations-there is such a thing as quality still in this world."

Thankfully!

Umbongo said...

Actually, apart from the 3 (well, let's be charitable 2 1/2) crims involved it's an all-round win-win for the rest of us. Of course, as Bunny/Anonymous notes, if Tesfay had been hanged it would have been cheaper for the taxpayer but I'm not sure whether, even under the old law, he would actually have been hanged. After all, although Tesfay was carrying a gun, the killing wasn't premeditated. OTOH it did occur during the commission of a felony. Maybe one of our resident legal experts would care to opine on this one.

Noggin the Nog said...

Niggers. If they weren't so dangerous they'd be funny.

BTW, I think Rolex are top notch.

Anonymous said...

@ Noggin

In an ideal World there would be one hanging from every Xmas tree.

Noggin the Nog said...

Anon,

Niggers or Rolexs?

Noggin the Nog said...

Anon,

Niggers or Rolexs?