Thursday 7 November 2013

Please, Fasten These Chains On Me…

The young man’s name was Daniel or Dan, Mr Peck said. He said: “When I pulled him out he told me ‘I don’t know what happened. I got whacked and the next thing I got thrown off the bridge’.
“He had obviously been drinking. The story I heard was he was being pursued and decided to chuck himself off the bridge to get away from them.
“A few of the guys had Halloween painted faces. I’m a bit concerned about the safety of these guys. They are young men but they are also someone’s children.”
Then it’s time they grew up, or Darwin will have his way with them. Still, never mind, the apparatus of the emergency services will rush to their aid:
A spokesman for London Ambulance said: “We were called just before 1.30am on October 27 to reports of someone in the river.”
They sent a medic in a car, an ambulance and a hazardous area response team and took a man in his 20s to hospital.
I thought they were short-handed?

But, in the comments, there’s an example (assuming it isn't a subtle spoof) of just what sort of mentality the rest of us are up against:
DB says... I am glad that there has been no death or serious injury in this case. When will the council finally decide that the riverside is not the best place for establishments that are primarily geared up towards children and young people drinking heavily? It really is a recipe for disaster.
Yes. Put down that relaxing pint at the pretty little riverside pub, don’t you realise you are standing in a lethal trap!
It was only last year when someone deliberately dived into the river and was killed after drinking too much and I am sure more have died in the past. It is all very well putting up barriers to stop them doing it, but if they want to dive in they will and the outcome is never going to be good.
Oh, I don’t know about that. Sometimes the outcome raises our national IQ by a jot!
I think that everyone over the age of 25 would like to see these places closed altogether, but there is clearly a demand for them so let's just get them sited away from the river.
I find it hard to believe that this commenter really does think everyone over the age of 25 wants to see pubs closed down.

7 comments:

Anonymous said...

FFS so no pleasant sitting, watching the water while having a drink because of the statistical probability that, some time or other, an idiot will lose any sense of selfpreservation after a few! Personally I'm in favour of more pleasant river side establishment and letting idiots sink or swim by themselves.

The Blocked Dwarf said...

Look DB, you know when they said that you were immortal? When they told you life was totally risk free and you would never have to worry your head about pestilence, war, famine and plague? That your eternity on this planet would be an unbroken joy of good health and fluffyness?

Well Kiddo (and at 25 you still are) I hate to be the one to break it to you but : THEY LIED!

You are not immortal and neither is anyone else.

Ian Hills said...

My sincere condolences to this young man's parents, and I add my prayers to theirs that their son will manage to kill himself one day, so ending their years of misery and grief at having sired an imbecile. Never, never, never give up hope.

Anonymous said...

Bunny

Riverside pubs yes control freaks no, we could arrange for these people to have a banning meeting where they sit down and discuss what they wish to ban between themselves. A big hall with fire doors, then we block the fire doors and seal them in there and forget about them.

Furor Teutonicus said...

XX A big hall with fire doors, then we block the fire doors and seal them in there and forget about them.XX

You forgot the bit about a couple of hundred gallons of petrol, and a few Phosphor grenades.

JuliaM said...

"FFS so no pleasant sitting, watching the water while having a drink because of the statistical probability that, some time or other, an idiot will lose any sense of selfpreservation after a few!"

Yes. We must, it seems, all lose out to save the worthless and unfit.

Sod that for a game of soldiers!

"You forgot the bit about a couple of hundred gallons of petrol, and a few Phosphor grenades."

Heh!

Anonymous said...

Stonyground Says

I hear on the radio news that the anti-booze brigade are agitating for our employers to breathalise us all when we turn up for work. Half of us are turning up pissed and incapable of doing our job apparently.