Kevin Toomey, mitigating, said: “He wanted to speak to the manager to complain that he had not been allowed to use the toilets.”
“He takes full responsibility - it was absolute madness for a man of his age and his reputation.”Yes, that's a pretty fair assessment!
“He knows the owner of the club because he has done charitable concerts there and he thought he would be allowed to nip in and use the toilets.
“Through pure frustration and embarrassment, he armed himself with his axe because he thought he may come under attack when he went back.”Of course he did. I mean, anyone would. Right?
Sentencing him, Judge Samantha Leigh (Ed: Oh...) said: “You went home and returned with an axe. What on earth possessed you to do that, I don’t know.”We'll add that to the hugely long list of 'Things Judge Samantha Leigh Doesn't Know', shall we?
Darby was sentenced to one year and two months in prison suspended for two years. He was given a three month nighttime curfew, must complete 150 hours of unpaid work and pay £1,200 in costs plus a victim surcharge.
The axe will be destroyed.Boy, I feel safer now. Don't you, reader?