A gang of robbers are using a bat preservation area to attack their victims - because it allows them to strike in the dark.Just fantastic…
The knife-wielding robbers have struck 14 times in the past two months on a canal towpath which has limited lighting to ensure bats living there aren't scared off.Unlike the residents…
This being the ‘Fail’, they felt a need to cater for the lowest-common denominator:
Bats are nocturnal creatures…Gosh, thanks for clearing this up!
The 15-strong gang surprise victims on a stretch of Regent's canal in Islington by jumping out at them and ordering them to hand over their possessions.Oh, if only we had some people tasked with apprehending habitual criminals…
In the past eight weeks the thugs have stolen thousands of pounds worth of goods, including bikes, iPods, mobile phones, jewellery, laptops, watches and cash.
Aha! Here’s one:
Detective Inspector Yasmin Lalani, the leader of Islington's Robbery Squad, said:Maybe your officers could do the same, Yasmin? You know, hide in wait for these people?
'This group is dangerous.
'They don't care who their victims are, or how old they are - they will target anyone who walks along there.'
She said that the gang were 'taking advantage of the bat preservation area's limited lighting'.
Well, it’s just a thought…
She added: 'It gets dark really quickly at this time of year and the group is taking advantage of that and waiting to attack vulnerable people.Hate to break it to you, Yasmin, but bats don’t pay council tax, out of which come your team’s wages.
'There is an issue with the lighting but we are meeting to see if we can get the right level of light so as not to deter the bats but to make it safer for walkers and joggers.'
Therefore, your concerns should be solely with the Islington residents that do pay this council tax...
The bats, after all, have other government-funded protectors to worry about them:
Simon Bamford, the manager of British Waterways in London said many bats made their homes next to canal towpaths.And if, in the process, the habitat of some humans is adversely affected, so what? What’s that to the manager of British Waterways in London?
He said: 'London's canal network is a haven for wildlife, including many varieties of bat.
'Whenever we do install lighting we work with our bat experts to ensure that the lighting does not adversely affect their habitat.'
Or, indeed, to the Bat Conservation Trust?
A spokesman for the Bat Conservation Trust said today: 'Light affects a number of bat species.And so we’d much rather send the residents of Islington into more dangerous areas instead…
'It can affect their feeding and they will move their flightpaths to avoid them - and this could send them to a more dangerous area.'
Even the people who think this is a batty idea don’t exactly fill one with confidence, either:
But Labour ward councillor Paul Convery said: 'It seems biodiversity is more important than public safety. Some exotic bats live along the towpath and if you illuminate it they will go and live elsewhere.'Exotic bats?
Are these South American vampire bats, then? Malaysian fruit bats? Cretin…
9 comments:
When I read the original report in the Evening Standard last week I was stuck by the banality of (the very specially qualified) Inspector Lalani's language which is, sadly, all too common these days by police officers of any rank who are quoted. I used to doubt that these people actually spoke like that but I am assured that they do these days. It is drivel. 14 attacks in 2 months and the police's dedicated ROBBERY SQUAD have done fuck all other than comment of the lighting problems caused by bats. Unbelievable! Or is it? What would their response be to a person taking photos I wonder? I suppose the 15 page risk assessment for conducting obervations What a shambles the modern British Police Service has become.
A lot of it boils down to the Media in this case.
If those gob shite bastards did their job and FORCED the arseholes into answering "why they thought bats were more important than humans", then it may stand a chance of getting somewehere, as it is, the press today are the sort that after visiting Auschwitz in 1943, would accept the commandants say so that "NO people are being killed here", WITHOUT question.
'It can affect their feeding and they will move their flightpaths to avoid them - and this could send them to a more dangerous area.'
So the bats will change flight paths because of some light? Okay, Im prepared to believe that. And sure, possibly the new area they go to will be more dangerous, but if so won't they just change back again? Or try a third area? Or a fourth, or fifth, or... The Bat Conservation Trust seems also to be taking care of the lesser spotted false dilemma.
I think this is yet another area where ridiculous rules are put in place merely to make life miserable for human beings.
Funny how bats are still around a century after the invention of electric lighting. Do you know what - I reckon that if they don't like the neighbours, they'll find a more suitable place.
Calling this towpath a "robber preservation area" would be more appropriate.
As usual, special interest group + police = mind-boggling stupidity!
'Calling this towpath a "robber preservation area" would be more appropriate.'
Very definitely.
Isn't this part of the Regents Canal towpath close to, or the same stretch of towpath as, where an Austrian woman tourist was gang raped about a decade ago ?
Clearly, what we have here is another case of violence by the Muggers of No Appearance.
DJ, that's probably why no one can see the robbers in the dark...until they smile.
"When I read the original report in the Evening Standard last week I was stuck by the banality of (the very specially qualified) Inspector Lalani's language which is, sadly, all too common these days..."
Yes, it all seems like it's been run through a couple of PR departments first, doesn't it?
Old newsreel footage on the History or Crime channels of police giving interviews is very revealing in how far we've come...
"A lot of it boils down to the Media in this case."
A lot of the local stuff is just bland these days; where's the crusading local reporter to dig deeper?
"The Bat Conservation Trust seems also to be taking care of the lesser spotted false dilemma."
heh! Indeed. It's like they've never heard of the phrase 'survival of the fittest', isn't it?
Or maybe they think it should only
apply to primates...
"Calling this towpath a "robber preservation area" would be more appropriate."
A nice brown street sign, tastefully done...
"Isn't this part of the Regents Canal towpath close to, or the same stretch of towpath as, where an Austrian woman tourist was gang raped about a decade ago ?"
You know, I think it may well be...
"Clearly, what we have here is another case of violence by the Muggers of No Appearance."
Good point! But then, it IS Islington.
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