Wednesday 2 December 2009

Some Women Will Do Anything For Money…

won’t they, Carol?
Carol Vorderman has always had a head for figures. But she’s found one number too large.

Carol, the former Countdown star has been totting up how many units of alcohol she was consuming.

And she’s admitted the total was too high.
According to?

Government figures for drink units. And where did they get them from?

Ah. Right…
Carol, 49, a Cambridge engineering graduate with an IQ of 154, co-hosted Countdown for 26 years, mixing beauty with brains by completing complex maths calculations on-screen.
But not by checking into government propaganda before obligingly spewing it out to the media. So, not that smart then…

And a pretty nasty little moneygrubber, too:
She said she took a couple of glasses of wine every night to help her relax.

And she blamed the late, affable Countdown host Richard Whiteley for first encouraging her to have a couple of extra drinks.
Say what..?

The man who brought you fame, who made you the media darling that you are, who practically handed you the ‘Thinking Man’s Crumpet’ title, got you hooked on the booze, did he?

Forced you, a mature woman, to drink more than you wanted?

Well, since he’s dead, he can’t contradict you, can he?
“Nowadays, if I go on a big night out alcohol just makes me tired.

“I’d be asleep by 11 if I tried to binge drink.

“It seems that drinking to excess has become the norm now and it’s scary when you actually think of what that amount of drink can do to your health.

“I’m at an age now where concerns about my health have taken over from vanity and I’ve started to worry about what I’m doing to my body.”
It’s called old age, sweetie. Guess what? I can’t put away the booze like I could when I was twenty, either.

Age comes to all of us. There’s no getting away from it. But we can age gracefully, and not look back on our misdemeanours and whine that someone else made us do it. Especially when that person isn’t here to defend himself.

So what’s prompted this?
Carol, who lives near Bristol, was in Birmingham launching ALCulator, an online calculator which helps people to calculate their alcohol consumption, and how much it will increase their weight.
Ah. She has a campaign to garner publicity for.

And a future career to flog:
Carol, who joined Countdown in 1982, is also famed for her detoxing. Her book Carol Vorderman’s Detox For Life was a number one best seller.

She is planning a detox programme in January.
Hope the salary is worth playing the victim and blaming a dead man for your own poor decisions…

10 comments:

Fat Hen said...

Vorderman peddled loan shark loans for ages on daytime TV.

The alc paranoia propaganda marketing ruse is harmless in comparison...

Leg-iron said...

A detox program for a couple of glasses of wine a night? Well, I suppose it'll eventually be compulsory for anyone exceeding the made-up limits.

I'd better watch out. You could run a car on my blood some nights.

woman on a raft said...

concerns about my health have taken over from vanity

Really?

von Spreuth. said...

It’s called old age, sweetie. Guess what? I can’t put away the booze like I could when I was twenty, either.

No. I am down to a bottle of Lambs navy per day my self.

DJ said...

Funnily enough, I've gone the other way. I can drink like a fish now, but I'm like an extra from 'Resident Evil' the next two days.

Still, you have to admire the evil genius of people who manage to get paid for teaching people how to detox: 'you know that stuff that gets you loaded? Don't drink that'.

Spooky WV: turingsp

Quiet_Man said...

I suppose after detox fails it will be on to botox.

Anonymous said...

Talking of women... here is the video of the famous discussion between Tiger and his wife: http://www.tudou.com/programs/view/v5HsQ-GlFqU/

*cackle*

WV: messes

blueknight said...

I don't drink anymore
I don't drink any less either

JuliaM said...

"Vorderman peddled loan shark loans for ages on daytime TV."

Ah. Yes, I'd forgotten about that.

"Really?"

So she claims. But it appears avarice is winning the ract hanily, leaving vanity in the dust...

"Still, you have to admire the evil genius of people who manage to get paid for teaching people how to detox: 'you know that stuff that gets you loaded? Don't drink that'."

With the way the education system is going, it does probably count as arcane knowledge now...

"here is the video of the famous discussion between Tiger and his wife: http://www.tudou.com/programs/view/v5HsQ-GlFqU/"

Heh!

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