They Shoot Clamp Horses, Don’t They?

Nina Pettit, 11, was left in floods of tears after her treasured pet went missing from its paddock off the old A130, Rayleigh.

So when she discovered Steel, a year-old Welsh section A pony, had been recovered nearby by the police she was over the moon.

Three cheers for the police!

Oh. Wait…

However, her mother, Alison Pettit, then spent ten hours frantically trying to find out where the animal was because police had lost the records.

*grinds teeth*

Officers finally tracked him down, but said a private company is holding the animal. Mrs Pettit claims the company wants £806 to release him.

Ah. They’ve clearly learned from the car clamping racket…

Mrs Pettit, who lives in May Avenue, Canvey, said: “I understand one of the sanctuaries around here charges £50 a night for a horse.

“I don’t know how they can come up with this figure unless it’s been eating golden straw and was taken away in a limo. I can’t afford to get him back.”

So, just how did Essex Police manage to cock this one up?

The first she knew about the pony missing was on Wednesday morning when her husband went to do his daily check.

She then rang Rayleigh police station, but the system was down. She tried to call Wickford, but couldn’t get through. Eventually, she spoke to the force information room in Chelmsford.

She was advised to try ringing a kennels and cattery in Sevenoaks, Kent, to see if the pony was there, only for them to tell her they only dealt with dogs and cats.

Good grief!

She was even advised to call the British Horse Society to check no one had tried to get him a passport.

Well, I’m sure armed police would have been available to halt any attempt to have it on his hoofs to a country with no extradition treaty…

An officer finally tracked the pony down at 8pm, but demanded the huge fee for its return. Police also said, for security reasons, they could not disclose the company holding the pony.

Nice!

Mind you, highway robbers DO often wear masks for prevention of identification, so that’s not as unusual as you might think.

So, why are the police acting as go-betweens for this company, then? What contracts have they signed to enable them to accept payment on its behalf? What regulations allow this?

A spokescreature was dragged to the starting gate to explain:

She said: “We did have some difficulty finding where the horse had been taken. However, later that day officers advised the woman the horse had been found and advised her of the charge for transport and livery.

“Essex Police had no involvement in the charges levied by a private company.”

But you’re acting as go-betweens, aren’t you?

I don't think that'll spare you any of the opprobium that's coming your way. A pimp takes no part in the actual sex act, but we still regard them with contempt just the same….