Tuesday 5 April 2011

Even More ‘Tales Of The Underclass’…

A grieving man had his ear bitten off while breaking up a fight at a wake for his friend.
The deceased seems to have died young:
The funeral wake was for 26-year-old married father-of-three Marcus ‘Sparky’ Walton.

Police said his death, on Saturday, March 19, was ‘non-suspicious’ and due to ‘medical problems’.
Such as: he stopped breathing?
Mr Walton, of Accrington Road, Blackburn, was father to Molly, Maci and Marcus.
A man of simple tastes in naming his offspring, clearly.
Police said the victim, a local man, had not been able to get time off work to attend the funeral service at St Teresa’s RC Church in the morning or the interment at Pleasington Cemetery.

The wake began at the Manxman pub, Highercroft, before about 30 mourners moved on to the Stop and Rest, where the victim joined the group, who had been drinking all day.

Police said the victim was more sober than the rest of the group.
Not ‘sober’, just ‘more sober’. Maybe through lack of catch-up time?
Detective Sergeant Simon Upton, of Blackburn CID, said detectives were investigating a serious drink-fuelled assault.

He said: “As a result of a minor argument, this man was an innocent bystander trying to split up a disturbance and was involved in a struggle.

“He went to pick someone up from the floor and in the struggle he’s had his ear bitten off.

“Emotions were running high because of the occasion and we believe this has been a drink-fuelled incident.
Yes, well, all the clues are there. That must be why they call you ‘detective’!


Anonymous said...

Sounds like a good old Pikey wake!

Hexe said...

Reminds me of Toy's ear necklace in the Ballad of Halo Jones.

(For a crazy brawl, a bitten of ear is not such a bad result. Other people glass each other, and yet other cultures work their friends and family into fricassee and the polite folks don't even need to be drunk to destroy someone by legal means over a trifle... On balance... I take the lost ear which can be regrown in a vat nowadays.)

Anonymous said...

Detective Sergeant Simple Simon said:

"'allo, 'allo, 'allo, what's all this 'ere?"

JuliaM said...

"Sounds like a good old Pikey wake!"

I did wonder!

"Reminds me of Toy's ear necklace in the Ballad of Halo Jones."

Heh! Yes indeed.

nightlurker said...

Ther seems to be a lot of "drink-fuelled incidents" resulting in bodily harm lately. Perhaps we should ban the sale of all alcholic drinks that would stop all the fights and woundings. But wait... then CaMORON would have to borrow even more of the money we don't have to hose down India and Pakistan so they can spend more of their own money killing each other. I knew there was a plan behind giving them all this money, if they are too busy killing each other they won't have time to support jehad over here, nice one Dave!