Saturday 30 April 2011

Can I See Your Dramatic License, Sir?

"You know why I pulled you over, don't you? Were you maybe exceeding the decibel level in a built-up area, sir? Who do you think you are, Dustin Hoffman?"
Riot police swooped as a drama group rehearsed a hard-hitting play - complete with blood-curdling screams.

Police stormed the building in Manchester city centre after a 999 call reporting an assault.

The four terrified members of the Happystorm Theatre company had to explain they were simply professional actors.
/facepalm
Supt Jim Liggett said the callers did the right thing by reporting the noise, and his officers quickly realised the mix-up.

He said: 'Had the organisers of the rehearsal made contact with us beforehand, we would have been able to offer reassurance to the caller straight away.'
Sorry? Since when did you need to inform the police of any of your activities that might be misconstrued by someone before you embark upon them?

Because that's pretty much everything...


19 comments:

Quiet_Man said...

He should have quit while he was ahead at the first sentence.

David Gillies said...

Henry Louis Mencken: "Every normal man must be tempted at times to spit on his hands, hoist the black flag, and begin to slit throats"

Trouble is, it's not "at times". With the weird changeling entity that has replaced our police force so thoroughly, so surreptitiously and with such exquisite attention to the ninny-pinny details of 'policing' while implementing a vengeful, psychotic fightback against the exact stratum of society in which its legitimacy is wholly embedded,it's not "at times." It's "now." It's "always."

The Gramscians are winning.

Chuckles said...

'Tactical Aid Unit'

Yes indeed, that's one to savour.

Still, I'm disappointed - no helicopters, no snipers, no dog teams; the standard is slipping.

And I'm surprised they did anything at all, as this was clearly a scenario for which they had not been trained, so they wouldn't have been able to tick any boxes.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Police_Support_Unit_(UK)

Captain Haddock said...

Its a bloody good job that "War of the Worlds" isn't being broadcast on the wireless these days then, isn't it ?

Inspector Knacker would go into a proper tizzy ..

Mjolinir said...

@ Captain Haddock - Re "War of the Worlds"

I wonder how often Surrey Police get terrified 999s about the 'Martian' that strides through the centre of Woking?

[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_War_of_the_Worlds
Scroll halfway down to "Physical Location"]

Captain Haddock said...

@ Mjolinir ..

Heh heh heh ...

Anonymous said...

lets hope your clever clogs commenters arent every screaming for your life and police dont bother because they think its probably an edgy urban theatre group rehearsing

Shadow of Anon said...

Anonymous wrote: "lets hope your clever clogs commenters arent every screaming for your life and police dont bother because they think its probably an edgy urban theatre group rehearsing"

And next week, he will return with a comment in English, complete with punctuation and capital letters.

Ranter said...

@Anon 30 April 2011 12:26

It is numptys like you that encourage and accept the parlous performance. I bet you couldn't see anything wrong with ID cards either? 'If you've got nothing to hide.....etc" You fool!

Brian, follower of Deornoth said...

Yes, quite, Anonymous, it could have been someone who'd been threatened with having their throat slit by persons of no appearance...oh...

Malcolm Stevas said...

Peanuts, utter trivia - they think this is needless harassment? Anyone engaged in the shooting sports - field shooting that is, not indoor target stuff - is aware that for decades this sort of arbitrary, groundless, mindless harassment has occurred. Some neurotic - or more typically, a bat-brained tree-hugging incomer from suburbia to the countryside - sees someone out shooting and makes a hysterical call to Plod, about a man in a field with a gun! Instead of saying, well, there are rather a lot of chaps out in the fields carrying a gun, this being the countryside, and he's probably hunting rabbits not practicing for a Jihadi atrocity, they leap into their Armed Response Team vehicles, launch the Plodcopter (£X thousand pounds per hour operating costs), and hit the countryside like Starsky & Hutch. If they catch the wicked fellow (a friend of mine managed to evade them...) he'll find himself, bullied, possibly spreadeagled on the ground, instructed to prove he has a right to be there, etc etc. This sort of vile authoritarian crap has gone on for a long time. Some say they do it because they hate people owning guns, others that they need an excuse to hang onto their expensive toys such as helicopters and this sort of thing gets recorded as a "firearms incident" so that's OK, yet others that they like a bit of fun or practice now and then and they know ordinary blokes out shooting are an easy target with no witnesses around.
Many police officers are of course deeply stupid, but one can't help feeling there's an unstated ACPO policy behind it.
The actors can think themselves lucky they weren't wielding replica firearms on stage - they might have been subjected to mass assault with Heckler & Koch machine carbines and/or CS gas grenades.

Anonymous said...

hello shadow of anon and ranter
firstly I apologize for my earlier post all I can say in my defence is that I was trying to feed 3 over excited childen and clean up dog sick while trying to get some point or other over. As soon as I had posted it I realised what a mess it was but didnt have time to repost as I was off out. Also dont tend to use capitals on computer, not exactly letter writing her is it? I would admit to being a borderline numpty but not a full one and have never believed in i.d. cards in this country (shades of 'papers please' gestapo in war films) but really, someone screaming blue murder in manchester? not exactly theatre land is it? should the police just ignore screaming now? in case its some lovey rehearsing some bit of 'street theatre'? get a grip. x

Mike Cunningham said...

The caller was probably related to the
bloke who dialled 666
because he thought he heard gunshots.

JuliaM said...

"The Gramscians are winning."

It does feel like that, sometimes...

"Its a bloody good job that "War of the Worlds" isn't being broadcast on the wireless these days then, isn't it ?"

Heh!

"I wonder how often Surrey Police get terrified 999s about the 'Martian' that strides through the centre of Woking?"

Something to go to Woking for, at last! I rather like that...

"It is numptys like you that encourage and accept the parlous performance."

Spot on!

JuliaM said...

"Some say they do it because they hate people owning guns..."

Well, certainly, on any police blog thread re: arming the police, the thought that the citizenry too might be similarly armed is met with the hysterical response of a maiden aunt spotting a mouse.

Perhaps they fear we'd be better shots than them..? ;)

"...but really, someone screaming blue murder in manchester? not exactly theatre land is it?"

That's a good point, but after the initial reaction (which can be excused) note how hard they tried to prove something had been going on - separating the girls, asking to see the script.

I get the distinct impression they'd have found something to pin on them to assuage their own embarrassment, if only they could...

Malcolm Stevas said...

Perhaps they fear we'd be better shots than them..? ;)
They have good grounds to worry: when the State still (just) permitted us to own handguns, police teams would often enter club competitions. I never knew the plods to win... Rumour has it they weren't accustomed to practicing very much.
Mind you, even when they're on form they have a disturbing habit of shooting the wrong people, such as the unfortunate Londoner gunned down for carrying a chair leg in a carrier bag, and the late Brazilian plumber.

Shadow of Anon said...

"get a grip. x"

anonymous: Respectfully suggest you get a grip on your home life if the kids and dog expect some attention before you rattle off a comment. And, for what it's worth, yes... it is still like writing letters. Because some of the web is infused with sloppiness doesn't mean you have to subscribe to the same condition.

But thanks for the kiss. x

David Gillies said...

Damn right Malcolm Stevas, never known a copper who wasn't ex-military who could hit the side of a barn given a 12 bore with a wide-open choke. Armed Plod are more of a danger to themselves and random passers-by than any putative villains.

patently said...

At least they were only actors, so you could bring everything to a grinding halt just by asking them if they are performing 'Macbeth'.

"Oh, you want me to call it 'The Scottish Play'... not 'Macbeth'? OK, I won't mention 'Macbeth' again... oops"