Wednesday 27 April 2011

By Hook Or By Crook...

...councils will try to claw money into their coffers as the government starts to throttle their money supply:
Personal trainers, nannies, dog walkers and even teachers face hefty bills for using public parks under a town hall diktat.

Council chiefs have decided anyone using the open spaces for business must pay for the privilege.
Well, did anyone really expect they'd put their hands up and say 'OK, OK, the diversity co-ordinators have gotta go...'?
Mr Mucha, 35, who works in Hurlingham Park in Putney, South London, was exercising with a client when a park ranger told him he couldn’t operate without filling in a form.

Mr Mucha, who charges clients around £45 an hour, said the warden ‘asked if I had got the licence to be in the park’.

‘I was surprised and didn’t know what she was asking for. I rang the council and they told me it was £350 for 12 months.’
Interesting. How are they going to prove that there's a business relationship?

And wait, aren't they supposed to be encouraging exercise as part of their barmy extra 'services' no-one really needs from a council?

Well, they've prepared a comeback for that:
Michael Hainge, from the parks department, told councillors in September that although the council is anxious to use its green spaces to fight obesity, ‘efforts were being made to properly target the programmes and ensure they were not simply aimed at those who were already inclined towards exercise’.
Because of the unfairness!!
He said parks suffered from ‘recurring activities that took place on a commercial basis, such as private football coaching, which needed to be identified and charged.’

The council said yesterday: ‘Anyone can use our parks for free, including personal trainers.

However, as soon as personal trainers start charging and making money out of the park, they are running a business and would need a licence.’
I wonder who'll be staffing the new council Business Assessor and Investigation Service Team..?

11 comments:

ChristianTS said...

They've obviously been watching Boardwalk Empire and taking notes. All its missing is someone at the saying, "capiche".

Lynne said...

Makes those 5th May votes count, people...

KenS said...

... face hefty bills for using public parks...

and

The council said yesterday: ‘Anyone can use our parks for free

Would they like to make up their minds who's parks they are?

I suspect they are the public's parks, bought and paid for out of public money. If the council charge, say, dog walkers for using the park, then said dog walkers will have to pass on the cost to their customers. i.e the same public who paid for the park in the first place.

David Gillies said...

"Anyone can use our parks for free"

They're not using your fucking parks for free, you useless waste of skin. Unless you refund their council tax at the gate.

MTG said...

It would be mischievous to encourage our opportunistic Town Hall jobsworths, Julia.

All the same, it would be reasonable to conclude that a concessionary rate for park cottaging was a gay entitlement....and the idea of season tickets for dogging and piking introduces the prospect of employment for night wardens.

This new commercial awareness will hopefully not dull the jobsworth's natural empathy with humanitarian priorities. I wouldn't be surprised if some council boffin was already working on a schedule of discounts for those found to be hard up.

Uncle Badger said...

I know I'm going to regret asking this, but what is 'piking'?

Bucko said...

Well done Julia, you've done it again. Just as I thought councils coundn't get any balmier, you go and print this story.
I need to lie down.....

Captain Haddock said...

I thought that fatty Pickles was gonna square these arseholes up, once & for all ?

Just more hot air, it would seem ..

These Councils need a short, sharp reminder that THEY actually WORK FOR US .. not the other way round ..

Captain Haddock said...

In similar vein .. how about this piece of utter fuck-wittery ?

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1380787/Health-safety-killjoys-ban-dangerous-model-steamboats.html

If steam-powered model boats are anything like steam-powered miniature railways, they all require annual boiler testing & safety certification (as do full-sized Traction Engines, Steam-powered vehicles & Steam-Rollers etc)...

I have a mate who is a member of a Model Engineering Society, which operates a passenger-carrying miniature railway, in a local park, at weekends, during the summer months .. and a proportion of whose profits, made from giving rides to kids, goes to local children's charities ..

I think this chap said that the DTI were the responsible body for boiler testing & certification .. and sod-all to do with the Council ..

JuliaM said...

"They've obviously been watching Boardwalk Empire and taking notes."

Heh! Although I suspect the crooks are vastly more efficient.

"Would they like to make up their minds who's parks they are? "

When there's money to be made, theirs. When there's not, ours. Simples!

"All the same, it would be reasonable to conclude that a concessionary rate for park cottaging was a gay entitlement....and the idea of season tickets for dogging and piking introduces the prospect of employment for night wardens. "

Now, don't go giving them ideas!

"These Councils need a short, sharp reminder that THEY actually WORK FOR US .. not the other way round .."

As Lynne points out, May 5th is coming. But who do you vote for?

JuliaM said...

"In similar vein .. how about this piece of utter fuck-wittery ?"

Oh, yes! I've just included that one in a post I did yesterday for 'Orphans of Liberty'!

Don't know when it'll be published.