Friday, 1 April 2011

I Think I Know What Kind Of ‘Artist’ She Really Is…

An artist has been told by a top court judge that she will never have to work again because "no work is safe for her".
Coralina Cattrell has an allergy to rubber and latex, which she claims means practically every job is out of bounds for her.
Oh, really? Are we talking about someone who has had a life-threatening event?

Actually, no:
Despite never actually having a severe toxic reaction, she even requested that the Civil Court of Appeal was cleared of elastic bands before her case could be heard.
It doesn't say whether they agreed. I bet they did, somehow. Pity that this woman couldn't claim an allergy to reporters, or we might never know about this case.
The Department for Work and Pensions was unhappy with her excuse for claiming incapacity benefit for the rest of her life, pointing out that one in 100 people suffer from the same allergy, amounting to a huge number of people across the rest of the country.

They also don't want the case to set a precedence.(sic)
It must be hugely frustrating for the decent staff who work there (there will be some), who have to watch these people take the proverbial.

So I don't begrudge them one penny of the money they wasted on trying to get this overturned:
Jason Coppell, barrister for the DWP, said: 'Her allergy, although inconvenient, has not prevented her from leading a relatively normal life, shopping, socialising, travelling on public transport, and attending tribunal hearings.'

And not only that, but if she is allowed the license to claim this benefit, she's actually spitting in the faces of all the genuinely-disabled who find there's no money left in the pot for the people that the system is supposed to help...
Mr Coppell argued that Ms Cattrell's condition affected a large number of people and her case was not "exceptional and extreme" enough to allow her to receive the benefit.

She has never suffered an extreme toxic shock reaction and does not carry a syringe of adrenaline to tackle such an event.
At this point, were this a legal movie, the prosecution lawyer would whip an elastic band from his pocket, wink conspiratorially at the jury, then slip it down her back unnoticed...

But this is reality. And she won.
Asked what she was most allergic to as she left the court she said: 'London, generally.'
I think we can safely say that the only thing she's definitely not allergic to is other people's money.


SadButMadLad said...

And in the artist's own words...

"I was a ceramicist but these days i paint on canvas instead of clay. I thought it a silly question "what am i allergic to mostly?" I answered London because over the last few years it has been very difficult. 2008 was the worst year of my life but now I live 200 yards or so from the sea and next month i will be self employed at an event organised by at the Jaywick Martello Tower. It will only be for a few days but it is a start and I am looking forward to it. Incidentally I do carry an epi-pen these days but back then where i lived in London it was quicker to get to a hospital then find an epi-pen in the bottom of my bag. (Ladies you know what I mean). Make of all of this what you will but I am no scrounger, I help others where and when I can, giving back to the community in ways that I am able to.

- Coralina Cattrell, Jaywick, 30/3/2011 21:30"

Worth noting that she gets a rating of 95 thumbs down.

Gordo said...

April Fool?

Mjolinir said...

What kind of 'artist' is she? Just take a look at her Facebook wall.

Fortunately for her business, she appears NOT to be 'allergic to' Acrylic paints and related art materials.

I suppose we must now think of a new name for "Twentieth-century Disease" (aka 'total allergy syndrome')?

microdave said...

I hope she doesn't get caught with her pants down (knicker elastic), whilst using public transport (rubber tyres, foam filled seat cushions, rubber floor mats), etc, etc.....

I'm about to develop an allergy - one related to having the piss taken out of me, by money grabbing twats like her....

Anonymous said...

I'm viciously allergic to bullshit.
I hyperventilated and came out in a nasty rash just reading the bolocks that woman whined.
Giving her a good slap would have eased my symptoms immeasureably.

Anonymous said...

"Worth noting that she gets a rating of 95 thumbs down. "
With my own small contribution the count now stands at 96 down.

JuliaM said...

"And in the artist's own words..."

Just brilliant! These people have no idea how they come across, have they? They are digging their own grave with their mouths, and they are totally oblivious to it.

Hoe does someone grow up so blinkered?

"I suppose we must now think of a new name for "Twentieth-century Disease" (aka 'total allergy syndrome')?"

I've got a name for it, but I don't think it'd be printed in a family newspaper.

"Giving her a good slap would have eased my symptoms immeasureably."

Like in 'Airplane!', I think a queue'd quickly form...

Anonymous said...

Latex allergies get worse the more you are exposed to latex. You can not be desensitised as with hayfever and bee stings. I ignored this to my peril. Now I am allergic to apples and kiwi just the smell can close my throat down. Cross food latex allergy. No hope only gets worse. Read and educate yourselves.