Sunday, 3 April 2011

Nature: Red In Tooth And Claw…And Wing And Beak

They are meant to be graceful, elegant and regal.

With their powerful wings, long necks and white feathers, mute swans are admired for their serenity and beauty.

But now one Hampshire swan has turned his lake into a no-go zone and even attacked a baby sat in a buggy.
Oh noes! Who will save us?
Hannah, a strategic account administrator, said: “We were just walking by the side of the lake when the swan came out of the water and charged towards us.

“It went straight for my daughter’s buggy and started flapping its wings and pecking her knee.”
Wow! Maybe the council needs to put a sign up to warn people about…

Oh:
Signs warning against “Aggressive Swans” are placed around the lake but Hannah thinks stronger action should be taken.
Such as..?

A bigger sign? A bolder font? A great big picture of a swan on the attack for the terminally hard-of-understanding?
“I think they seriously need to consider moving the swan to another location. This isn’t the first time someone had been attacked by a swan around here. It’s dangerous and something really should be done about it.”
Capital idea, Hannah! I mean, it's not like it could, oh, I don't know, fly back, or something, right?

Yes, let’s remove anything that makes this place a park, while we're at it, shall we? Dig up the flowers in order not to inconvenience hayfever sufferers, while we’re at it…
A spokesman for the RSPB said: “It’s the breeding season at the moment and the males tend to be more aggressive as they’re defending their mates and nests.

“We wouldn’t recommend moving the male as it would mean the female and the nest are left unprotected and the male would more than likely just fly back to where he was taken from.

“The best thing to do is to make sure you keep your distance from pairs of swans at this time of year.”
Or maybe the best thing to do is read the dammed signs

H/T – Angry People in Local Newspapers.

11 comments:

Quiet_Man said...

Wonder who peed in her gene pool, I keep hoping that "stupid" is not catching and you keep finding stories like this :-S

Furor Teutonicus said...

We have similar here with crows, and magpies. Last year I watched one arsehole try and kick a crow that was eating an old Mc Dogburgers wrapper on the ground.

The crow took offence at this and attacked him. Soon joined by two others.

This bastard called the Ordnungsamt (LIKE police, but they do all the "small shite" such as litter, parking, reports of agressive hamsters, etc).

Being a good citizen (And the fact the arsehole was Turkish) I informed them about the kicking attempt.

HE, the arsehole, was trying to get them to order the crows be destroyed. Instead, he got nicked under our equivalent of the "animal cruelty" law. :-))))

Crows are back again this year.

Captain Haddock said...

Silly bitch !!!!!!!

Longrider said...

It's nesting time, what did she expect?

Ross said...

Who on Earth didn't know that swans are agressive birds?

Zaphod said...

We expect other countries to nurture and accommodate their wildlife. Bears, big cats, snakes, crocs, rhinos, elephants.
But our swans should be moved to somewhere where there are no people?

Bird brain said...

Oh Noes! Birds have wings? Birds peck? They defend what is theirs?

When will this terror end?

Anonymous said...

Has anyone ever had their arm broken by a swan?
Jaded

Zaphod said...

The arm-breaking swan is an urban myth. But the knee-bruising swan is now documented. Beware!

JuliaM said...

"Wonder who peed in her gene pool..."

*chuckle*

"Instead, he got nicked under our equivalent of the "animal cruelty" law."

Excellent! :)

"It's nesting time, what did she expect?"

Like a lot of people I suspect she views animals as pretty automatons, rather than real creatures with lives of their own.

"Who on Earth didn't know that swans are agressive birds?"

People who never read the news, watch camcorder clip shows, read books...

JuliaM said...

"We expect other countries to nurture and accommodate their wildlife. Bears, big cats, snakes, crocs, rhinos, elephants. "

The thought of Hannah coming across a crocodile in her local park pleases me immeasurably, I have to say.

"Has anyone ever had their arm broken by a swan?"

It's certainly possible, though as Zaphod points out, now rather a cliché...