Friday, 6 May 2011

The Three ‘S’s Come In Here, Surely..?

As the American Midwest ranchers say ‘Shoot, shovel and shut up’.

Sadly, Neil Froggat hasn’t heard about the ‘shut up’ bit:
A father who removed a pigeon nest from his balcony over concerns for his childrens’ health fears he could now face prosecution.
Oh, why?
Neil Froggatt approached Kingston Council, who own the New Malden flat, for their help after living next to inches deep of bird droppings and flocks of pigeons for months.

But the council, who axed their pest control service from April 1 this year, could only offer information and no practical help to Mr Froggatt and his family, who have lived in the flat for nine years.

On the council’s advice Mr Froggatt spent £100 on deterrents and regularly cleaned the first-floor balcony but after little improvement took matters into his own hands and removed the nest.
Well, since he’d exhausted all options, surely there’s nothing else anyone could expect him to do?
The nest and pigeons have since returned and Mr Froggatt has found out that under the Wildlife and Countryside Act 1981 removing the nest is illegal.
So, just don’t go blabbing to anyone about what you’ve done, and you’ll be fi…

Oh. Right…
Emma Haskell, director of the Pigeon Control Advisory Service, said Mr Froggatt and professional pest control companies should deal with the problem.

She said: “I don’t think councils should have to deal with it, it’s a complete and utter waste of time, councils have spent millions and millions in the past and now with cuts they realise it’s not worth it.
“You need to target the source of the pigeons…”
The 'source of the pigeons'..? Surely, that’s other pigeons?

And isn't that just what Mr Froggatt has done?

12 comments:

gildas said...

We need to be tough on pigeons. And tough on causes of pigeons. As someone once said

patently said...

Oh, the law is so complex sometimes. For example, it's illegal to remove the nest, but legal to accidentally swing your spade around and bounce it off the wall just where... ooops.

gildas - I'd say we need to be tough on Councils, and tough on the causes of Councils...

Anonymous said...

Tough on women called Emma. Funny how they all end up with strange jobs.

>On the council’s advice
Mr Heydrich, my neighbours, the Goldsteins, have loud parties late at night. Any ideas?

Mr Sutcliffe, we've a problem with prostitution in our neighbourhood.

I think old Neil here isn't a Nobel laureate either. Anagram of atc.

Anonymouslemming said...

And yet it's legal to shoot pigeons if all other methods of pest control have been attempted or are not feasible.

Just get a pellet gun, shoot the parents and be done with it.

Lord T said...

It is legal to shoot pigeons but only on your property. This would not be classed as his prperty and shooting out from his property into space is illegal. Armed trespass or something; max 5 years, I'm not kidding, thanks to whingey whiney liberals.

It's another tax creation exercise like Corgi and the electrical work. Professionals need to do it; Get your cheque book out.

However shooting them... sorry pushing the nest off off the building late at night will soon have them finding another spot. They are not stupid.

btw: even stupid pigeons taste nice.

Captain Haddock said...

Hasn't old "Selwyn Froggat" got a neighbour, whose moggy he can "fit-up" for this job then ?

Jesus .. some folk are so dim, they need to be told to come in, out of the rain ..

Anonymous said...

Oh BTW I bought one of those nice lasers last time I was in Thailand.

Pigeons soon piss off, but for some reason, flies are unaffected by them. Weird.

Peru peru said...

A condom for every pigeon. Well, the male ones, naturally.

Fitting them is a bit of a bugger however.

Tattyfalarr said...

Maybe giving explicit sex education to day old chicks would work. Someone somewhere seriously thinks it will work with human pre-pubescents, after all.

ChristianTS said...

I think its commendable that Director Emma Haskell thinks the Pigeon Control Advisory Service is a complete and utter waste of time, and after having spent millions on it, she now realises its not worth it. Finally some sanity in local government.

Oh wait, maybe I'm reading that wrong...

Macheath said...

I suppose the council wouldn't have a problem if it was other wildlife doing the removal: sounds like what he needs is an urban fox - though it might be difficult to get it onto a first-floor balcony.

Meanwhile, there's always this...

JuliaM said...

"...but legal to accidentally swing your spade around and bounce it off the wall just where... ooops."

:D

"It's another tax creation exercise like Corgi and the electrical work. Professionals need to do it; Get your cheque book out."

Exactly!

Though woodpigeon is indeed very nice (particularly smoked) I'm not so sure city feral pigeon would taste of anything but diesel fumes and cigarette butts...

"Meanwhile, there's always this..."

Heh!