Friday, 19 August 2011

I’ve Got A Bridge To Sell Judge John Milmo!

A teenage burglar was spotted on a CCTV camera carrying a stolen 50-inch TV across an estate.
Jordan Hart was with two others when he took the Samsung HD TV from the home of a single mother-of-five who was away on holiday.
A single mother of five can afford a 50 inch TV?
Police were sent to arrest the trio but they dumped the TV at the side of the road and fled into nearby Frinton Road,

Officers later found discarded PlayStation 3 games between wheelie bins close by and checks revealed Hart's fingerprints.

The CCTV footage was not clear enough to identify his two accomplices.
So? Couldn't they get the little scrote to name them?
Judge John Milmo QC gave Hart, of Bentinck Road, Hyson Green, an 18-month community order and said he must attend 22 "thinking skills" sessions.
*blood reaches boiling point*

Why are you sending him on a 'thinking skills course', you bewigged fool? So he can make sure his next theft isn't right in front of a CCTV camera?!?

I've said it before, and I'll say it again; we need a 'thinking skills course' for the bloody judiciary...
The judge said the offence was more serious because it was committed at night and was at the home of a single mum with five children.

He said the woman had obviously saved up money to buy an expensive television.
Obviously. I mean, what other possible explanation could there be..?
The court heard Hart had past convictions for common assault and robbery.
/facepalm
More recently he had been helped by Framework, a charity that supports homeless and vulnerable people, and had kept out of trouble.
Apart from the small matter of a theft of a TV, that is? And presumably other things that they didn't spot him doing?
Esmond Patterson, an assistant manager at Framework accommodation in Bentinck Road, Hyson Green, told the judge he had "all the time in the world" for the defendant.

He said Hart had now realised he had to start doing something constructive with his time.
Translation: 'Well, since you buy all the other improbable things about this story, judge, I might as well try my luck...'

23 comments:

SBC said...

".A single mother of five can afford a 50 inch TV? "

When did we as a society get all 'penis size' about TV's? I seemed to missed that social development somehow. I have a TV...somewhere. IT works and even has a working remote so I don't have to get up out of my armchair.

Its mall enough that I can pick it up one handed and large enough so I can see the screen from across the living room.

Why do people need TV's that take up one entire wall? Infact the tv's my kids have in their bedrooms are so large that they singlehandedly cause spikes on the nation grid...

50" of 400 channels of Stuff I Don't Wanta Watch-about sums it up.

and totally offtopic...when did this american habit of having MTV or Jeremy Crisis on and blaring all day start? You go round to someone's and you can't converse like a civilised person but are forced to SHOUT across the coffee table..above the 'YeeeEEEEah Yeah Yeah' of Beyonce... or 'Pimp My Benefits Claim'

/OAP Rant

SBC said...

"tv's"

Oh fuck. Sorry people. Yes,I come from a long line of East End green grocers...

Chalcedon said...

The little thieving scumbag should have gone to jail.

Captain Haddock said...

I am now totally convinced that people only become Judges because they're too stupid, gullible, naive or downright perverse to manage any other job ..

I mean, who (other than the State) in their right mind would employ them ?

Roue le Jour said...

They don't do any of that 'first offense' stuff here in Thailand. The way you get a reduction is to show contrition, and that means naming your accomplices. Of course, people often name their 'competitors' rather than their mates, but then they name your mates so it all evens up in the end.

Jim said...

You know what p1sses me off most about this story?

Its not the stupid little scrote who's getting away with it.

Its not the judge, who if he had his TV nicked would want the thief hung drawn and quartered.

Its the middle class, but pretending to be working class, down with the kids, Guardian reading tossers who are paid some of my hard earned tax payments to run 'thinking skills workshops' and run 'charities' that do b*gger all (apart from make the administrators a nice salary).

Thats what really makes me want to run amok with an AK47.

SBC said...

"single mother-of-five who was away on holiday"

It's a slow morning on the net, anyone care to play 'Guess the names of her kids'?

Captain Haddock said...

@ SBC ..

"It's a slow morning on the net, anyone care to play 'Guess the names of her kids' " ?

Ooooh, tough one ...

How about Chanelle ? .. or Destiny ? .. or Chardonnay ? .. or Jaydon ?

Or .. in the extremely unlikely event that mum received an education .. how about Epizootic lymphangitis ? .. ;)

Woman on a Raft said...

Why are you sending him on a 'thinking skills course', you bewigged fool?

Fair dos, they can only send them on the courses available and there's nothing labelled "breaking rocks in the hot sun".

We could fix that...

SBC said...

"Epizootic lymphangitis ? .. ;)"

*SNORK*

You owe me a new laptop, Sir.

*up ends laptop and lets the snorked coffee run off*

SBC said...

"breaking rocks in the hot sun".

WOAR is obviously a woman of taste and discernment.

Anonymous said...

Surely being lectured on 'thinking skills' by some useless left wing sociology grad counts as cruel and unusual punishment?

Rob said...

50" tv, holiday, 5 kids. Where the fuck does she get the cash?

SBC said...

"50" tv, holiday, 5 kids. Where the fuck does she get the cash?"

She's living rent free. If you don't have to pay rent nor a mortgage then you can afford life's little luxuries, like holidays and heating....hell you can even run a car.

Yes you ARE doing something wrong and you should have paid more attention at school.

John said...

TV?
Credit.
Loads available.
No need for employment either nowadays.
Or even get a credit card....loads of them available as well, and even if you have no job.
Or just use the modern way: don't buy one, get them all free with a brick.
Since his age was not reported or his name we can assume he is on the young side of 16.
In which case blame the people who thought-up the sentencing for young offenders, not the judge/magistrate. their hands are tied.

Weekend Yachtsman said...

"A single mother of five can afford a 50 inch TV?"

Yup.

With your help and mine.

Your tax £ at work.

English Viking said...

SBC,

TV's is entirely correct. So is TVs.

Anonymous said...

Hardly expensive.
You can buy 50" for less than 400 quid now.
It didn't say if she was unemployed, although she was on holiday at the time.
I know one mother of three who is on her own....she works at her home and looks after the kids.
Don't assume things.

SBC said...

"You can buy 50" for less than 400 quid now."

Hmm we have different definitions of the word 'expensive' ....I don't think I've ever spent more than ₤20 on a TV.

"she works at her home and looks after the kids."

Not with 5 kids she wouldn't. Ask any parent. Your 3-kidded homeworking friend must have the patience of a saint and nerves of steel.

But yes you're right, we shouldn't always jump to conclusions about single moms who live on estates who have multiple offspring and chav tastes in interior decorating.

David Gillies said...

Depends on the technology. A 50" LED TV will cost you a serious chunk of change, as in a couple of thousand quid. LCD, much less. You could probably find one for £800. Plasma? Cheap as chips. I can get a brand new 50" plasma, 1080p for 300 sovs, no worries. Only problem is, plasma's crap.

Anyway, my 27" CRT is 12 years old and still works fine, so it's moot. When it breaks I'll buy a thin one.

JuliaM said...

"When did we as a society get all 'penis size' about TV's?"

Seemingly in the last 5 or so years.

"Of course, people often name their 'competitors' rather than their mates, but then they name your mates so it all evens up in the end."

I like that idea! :)

"Fair dos, they can only send them on the courses available and there's nothing labelled "breaking rocks in the hot sun". "

There will be when I get to be Home Sec. Of course, we don't have any hot sun...

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Now I am interested in buying new car but want to pay $1000 per two years rather than paying annual.
Thinking to sell my car for down payment. Some of the customers I experienced for my old car advised me to keep it as to buy new cheap car is not good if you have a good one.

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