Sunday, 21 August 2011

No Hiding Place…

A mother yesterday allowed her teenage son to be jailed over rioting allegations rather than run the risk of being evicted from her £1million council house.
Truly, the rock will no longer give them shelter…
Collins is accused of being part of 40 youths armed with sticks and bottles who fought battles with police in Harrow Road, West London, wearing hoodies and balaclavas on August 9.

Officers said they later found the teenager and another boy hiding in a basement, carrying gloves and a bandana.

He denied being part of the disorder, claiming he had been returning from a party when he was caught up in the riot.
A party featuring gloves and bandanas?
The court heard that he suffered from mental health problems but was due to start work in a scaffolding firm.
As what?

Naturally, the mother is adamant her darling child has been framed:
The five-bedroom semi-detached property is worth an estimated £1million, although the front garden is strewn with rubbish and one of the upstairs windows is smashed.

She said: ‘I have his younger brothers to look after – they’re on their school holidays right now. He hasn’t been living with me recently anyway, he’s been staying with friends and so on.

‘I can’t let him come back to my house because I don’t want to lose it. I’ve got his brothers to think of.’

Mrs Collins said she believed her son had been picked on by police because he is mixed race.
So, they’re only half institutionally racist now…?
There is likely to be a flood of similar cases as council leaders across England respond to public demands that looters face the toughest possible penalties.
It’s about time.

17 comments:

Chuckles said...

So, 'between a rock and a hard place' then?

Woman on a Raft said...

Oi! Where's my £1m council house. I know exactly the one I want but I'm £1m short of the dosh.

The public can have it back when I'm dead; I don't want to exercise my right to buy.

Smoking Hot said...

So it's illegal to have a bandana and gloves? We going to have the royal crest in courts replaced with a kangaroo ... or has that already happened?

SBC said...

"So it's illegal to have a bandana and gloves?"

There is a word on the breeze of the Righteous Indignation that is blowing across our land at the moment and that word is...



...Sippenhaft.


This is how it starts. When people start DEMANDING SOMETHING MUST BE DONE!!

...show me a scaffolder who doesn't own a pair of gloves, a doo-rag and jeans that won't cover his arse.

Captain Haddock said...

"He denied being part of the disorder, claiming he had been returning from a party when he was caught up in the riot. A party featuring gloves and bandanas" ?

Perhaps it was a "Village People" themed party .. is Colin "that" way inclined ? ...

Or is he just a lickle liar who got caught ? ... ;)

Hexe Froschbein said...

Prediction:

If they start to turf out parents out of the homes for the sins of their offspring, expect a deluge of males aged 12+ to dropped off with the SS to warehouse the moment a replacement has arrived in the maternity ward.

You see, a baby is so much cuter and easier to handle, and also brings in a bit more money than a smelly, mouthy teenager who expects a decent cut from the dole coming in.

And that is before we consider the many cases of blackmail that will occur, where the son threatens to get mom turfed out of the council house.

Pass the popcorn!

Twenty_Rothmans said...

Officers said they later found the teenager and another boy hiding in a basement, carrying gloves and a bandana.

I first parsed this as 'banana' It works for me.

Jermaine Collins, who suffers from mental problems most likely inherited from his feckless, worthless mother who cannot be arsed to clean up her grace and favour house, has apparently been 'picked on' by police.

Perhaps his stupid mother shouldn't have given him a 'Go to Jail. Do not collect £100' name.

Anonymous said...

"So it's illegal to have a bandana and gloves?"

Smoking Hot, did anyone say that? Or is your sense of injustice so white hot that you do not read or think much and simply sit there glowing? I think we should be told.

BTW, I would think there may have been other evidence suggesting that the people hiding in the basement did not have perfect alibis or saintly intentions.

Unless it was a fetish party hide and seek game, of course.

Ringmer said...

"Mrs Collins said she believed her son had been picked on by police because he is mixed race."

Bless her, the cataract-like effect of a newly discovered mother's love.

He sounds more mixed species - part human, part hyena, with the latter on the ascendancy.

Twenty_Rothmans said...

Ringmer
He sounds more mixed species - part human, part hyena, with the latter on the ascendancy.
lorzl!

Hyenas have 40 and we've 46 - mix and match.

Behold the picture featured in the article. Note carefully the squat nose, no doubt flattened by hours pressed against an Argos window (I'm surprised that he hasn't licked a hole through one once), the oh-so-trendy acrylic cap, that "you've pulled" Homo erectus-like ridged brow.

Wonder at those floppy jowls of his. He's obviously having lipids injected to keep the wrinkles at bay. By lipids, I mean KFC.

Turn away now, this is going to get nasty.





He appears to be wearing an asbestos mitten to inspect his mother's sanitary towel, perhaps hoping to elucidate some mystery of the Universe from the daubings thereon.

But that's not the case. I sincerely doubt that the Collins household is too encumbered by writing materials. So I suppose his mother simply scrawled "FUCK OF JERMANE"(sic) on a nappy.

Regrettably, because Della Collins was such a good mother to her third-world-size brood, I question whether she's ever had the time to teach him to read.

Ideally, she'd have drawn a couple copulating, a light switch if the 'off' position, and a chap in Lederhosen.

2OR

Gallovidian said...

Bloody Hell, if mixed race people are given £1M houses to live in free of charge, what are they rioting about?

allcoppedout said...

I'm all for these evictions - but don't anyone hold their breath. The scum involved will get legal aid and the costs will be £40K plus in the courts. If the councils really have the balls, what then happens to such "families"? Do they get re-housed with help from social services in a house near you? After a prolonged and expensive period in bed and breakfast?
We need somewhere for them to go. I back a rusting hulk to somewhere nasty - but seriously they will end up near you or me and with the prisons full and 'justice' back to usual.

Mortgagee said...

"Do they get re-housed with help from social services in a house near you?"

Yes. They get moved into houses bought for them by the council in order to make their beloved estates 'nicer' for those who remain. Meanwhile, if you have a mortgage on a house in the chosen area (and you pay council tax and all the rest) you will get new neighbours you never anticipated.

Vibrant, diverse and free with your possessions, perhaps.

Rob said...

Sorry, did you say "£1m council house"?

Woman on a Raft said...

For comparison: here is a nobbed-up corner house of roughly the same specification as Mrs Collins'. It is going out at around £1.5m.

http://www.primelocation.com/uk-property-for-sale/details/id/BEDP8476334/

Because of the smaller plot size and inevitable all-round grottiness as shown by the sheets at the window (how difficult is it to do simple curtains, even over that span?) it would have a lower price. In general, the standards required of council housing are high although the tennants soon knock the gloss off that.

A look at the map shows that Kentish Town is right in the middle of Socialist Central. The area is bounded by the likes of the Milibands and the leftist aristocracy.

http://www.primelocation.com/uk-property-for-sale/browse/all/uk/england/london/north-west-london/kentish-town/

If Guido Fawkes is correct, the client state will continue to vote for this and pay for it by taxing anyone it can at 65%. Even that won't pay for it: it will just service the increased borrowing.

JuliaM said...

"Oi! Where's my £1m council house."

Indeed!

"So it's illegal to have a bandana and gloves?"

No, just as it's not illegal to have a knife or a crowbar. If, however, you're caught on the street or in someone's house in suspicious circumstances, then it's 'going equipped'.

"Pass the popcorn!"

Pass the ammunition!

"He sounds more mixed species - part human, part hyena..."

Heh!

JuliaM said...

"He's obviously having lipids injected to keep the wrinkles at bay. By lipids, I mean KFC."

SNORK!

"We need somewhere for them to go. I back a rusting hulk to somewhere nasty.."

Libya might be nice this time of year, at least in a few months..? ;)

"Sorry, did you say "£1m council house"?"

As WoaR points out, it's the area, not the quality of the house that commands the price.