Saturday 27 August 2011

The Barbarians Are 40 Miles From The Gates!

Eighties pop legend Gary Numan is fleeing Sussex over fears of rampaging yobs.
Sussex..?
The electro pop pioneer says his family do not feel safe in the leafy village of Waldron, near Uckfield, so he is moving them to the United States.

He said the recent riots, which at their closest were 40 miles north of his home, had been the final straw.
Errr….
Fellow villagers said his concerns were “absolutely astounding
Well, indeed!

Although, there was that incident in sleepy Gloucester
But Mr Numan, 53, insists his wife, Gemma, and their three children, Raven, Persia and Echo, have been subjected to vile insults while walking the streets of Wealden.

He told the Daily Record: “We live right out in the country. It is very rural and there are no big cities. You would think it would be the most peaceful place in the world and it is very pretty and relatively affluent. Yet the other day my wife was walking down the High Street and a bunch of kids between 12 and 14 were telling her what they would like to do to her. She had my children with her. You’ve got to be kidding.”
The influence of rap culture has reached Waldron? Really?
“America clearly has its own problems, but Santa Monica is great. It has beautiful beaches and the Pacific Ocean. There is not one bit of trouble and not one surly or aggressive person there. Everyone is friendly. ”
Not one surly or aggressive person in Santa Monica?

Are you sure, Gary?

The villagers aren’t impressed:
Wealden District councillor Dick Angel said: “I can’t say I’ve ever heard of him, so it wouldn’t be much of a loss. I think it’s absolutely astounding he could say this.”
Ouch!
Father David Charles, the priest in charge of All Saints church in Waldron, said: “There’s only a couple of hundred residents and they are mostly retired. If there are any gangs roaming about I’ve certainly missed them.”
My, my, my…

Could we soon see the Bard Berk of Barking departing these shores too?

18 comments:

MTG said...

Is this a real parting, Gary?

Edwin Greenwood said...

"...their three children, Raven, Persia and Echo..."

Ye Gods.


Claim to fame: I was once three feet away from Billy Bragg, who was holding court in the Lemon Tree pub at Charing Cross. I managed to restrain myself from throttling the sanctimonious little pillock. Something I shall regret till my dying day.

Tattyfalarr said...

Automatic denial is suspicious under any circumstances. Note no-one saying "Oh that's terribe how upsetting for you. We will not tolerate this in our town and will find out who it was and their parents will deal with them."

You know..like...prove it one way or the other. Nope...just flat out denial.

Interesting how chav-like behaviour manifests itself in many ways and not just in the (alleged) behaviour of the children.

SBC said...

LadieeeEEEess and Gentlemen...we has a winner!

"A brilliant move. In one stroke the average IQ of Wealdon is increased as is that of Santa Monica."

Demetrius said...

Don't they go in for Skimmity Rides these days in Sussex?

Gallovidian said...

Gated compound I would imagine, to keep the real reconquista Aztlan California out.....for a while!

Captain Haddock said...

Bye Gary .. mind the door doesn't hit your arse on the way out ..

And one can but hope that the champagne-marxist fucktard, Bragg will take the hint ..

SBC said...

Born in Hammersmifff and rejoicing in the name 'Gary Anthony James Webb' or as he'll have been known to his mates "Gaza Tone Jimbo Webb".....

...and he's moaning about Oiks?

In Cars said...

Have been to Santa Monica, paddled in Pacific near the pier.

But not going back, so you are safe there from the likes of me, Gaz the Numanoid.

Twenty_Rothmans said...

I was once three feet away from Billy Bragg, who was holding court in the Lemon Tree pub at Charing Cross. I managed to restrain myself from throttling the sanctimonious little pillock.

You're a modern-day von Stauffenburg, we can only wish 'if only'.

Billy Bragg is a prole and I sincerely hope that his entire bloodline remains poor and hungry. I hope that his descendants in 100 years will need to beg and scratch for a pill of tea.

And they'll still blame Margaret Thatcher.

I gather that Gary Numan is a keen pilot so there might be more than just one reason to leave. It would be a piss-poor headline to announce that you're leaving England because of the weather and the taxes.

Anonymous said...

I live in the tiny village of Waldron.

It is a lovely place to live.

I was once gently chastised by a policeman (very rare to see one) for leaving the key on the outside of my front door. My response was "I don't have to bother with security and that's why I live here".

Mr Numan has caused a little stir in the village but I'm sure he has an album to sell.

The local towns (populations in the under 20,000s) have yobs who are, on the whole, very normal teenagers just getting to grips with life.

They "hang around" doing teenage stuff before eventually being good adults.

Mr Numan should have nothing to complain about - at least about living around these parts. It's a paradise compared a lot of places.

And, if you read this Gary, I am one of the few residents who think you had your house painted in a very interesting colour. Not vulgar at all.


Anybody want to guess the colour?!

Anonymous said...

"I managed to restrain myself from throttling the sanctimonious little pillock.
Something I shall regret till my dying day."

You're not alone there Edwin.
Not by a long chalk.

Lerxst said...

Bill Bailey's Billy Bragg song...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RNj0uupC89o&feature=related

David Gillies said...

I have every sympathy with Gary Numan. Britain is a reeking cesspit and I thank God I got out when I did. I still visit occasionally and every time it seems more of an alien wasteland. I fully believe his account of his wife's harassment. There is no societal or criminal sanction for bad behaviour (and anyone who thinks that will alter in the wake of the riots is a chump) so matters will only continue to deteriorate. The UK is almost without doubt the worst European country west of Belarus in which to live.

JuliaM said...

"Ye Gods. "

That just puts the tin hat on it, doesn't it?

"Automatic denial is suspicious under any circumstances."

Maybe, but come on...Wealden High Street?

"Don't they go in for Skimmity Rides these days in Sussex?"

It probably contravenes the ECHR.

"Gated compound I would imagine, to keep the real reconquista Aztlan California out.....for a while!"

Quite! The one place in the US I wouldn't move to, and not just because of the climate..

JuliaM said...

"I gather that Gary Numan is a keen pilot..."

Indeed, until his wife objected.

"And, if you read this Gary, I am one of the few residents who think you had your house painted in a very interesting colour. Not vulgar at all."

Now I'm intrigued!

"I still visit occasionally and every time it seems more of an alien wasteland."

Parts of it are still OK. Would that I lived in one of those parts.... *sigh*

David Gillies said...

"Would that I lived in one of those parts...."

Are the Grenzpolizei checking your Ausweispapieren on the border of Croydon? I didn't realise it had got that bad.

Anonymous said...

For your information Julia, Gary had the house painted a deep pink.

Close to this:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cerise_(color)#Hollywood_cerise

I happen to like the choice as "something different" but if he really wants to leave it will need a makeover. I would doubt that it is many people's cup of tea.