Saturday, 13 August 2011

There...Are...No...Words!

Now she has to concentrate on looking after Kayleigh, 17, Jamie, 16, Chloe, 13, Tyler, 10, Shania, six, Blade, five, Shonna, four, Candice, three, Shardonnaie, two and Maxy-Jane, one.
Except one.

ARRRRRGGGGGHHHHHHH!!!!!

27 comments:

SBC said...

"Roof De-tyler,10, Switch Blade,5,Candida,3, Chardonnay 2 and maxy-ultra-wings,one"

The names the game. Ignorant white trash.

Angry Exile said...

Sorry to correct you, Julia, but there are words. And the words in my mind are 'Y-shaped chav factory'.

Macheath said...

You took the word right out of my mouth, JuliaM!

I clicked the link, I'm sorry to say, and the word was nearly followed by my lunch. The 19-year-old toyboy was bad enough, but I'm still boggling over this:

'After ten children, I decided I had enough,' she said. 'Only four of them were planned, but I love them all to bits.'

Sue said...

Chav's! A breeding programme instigated by NuLabour, to extend their voting base.

Pay them to multiply like rabbits and ensure they are intellectually subnormal.

MTG said...

There's nothing like responsible parenting and this is nothing like responsible parenting.

Captain Haddock said...

Sew, or Staple it permanently closed .. and brand her forehead with the word "SLUT" ..

Oleuanna said...

Now ...where are those #prolifers?

Ranter said...

A great story AND it will be true AND it is not unique. The bizarre names given to modern families by white chavs can be incredible. Even traditional sounding names are, in reality, likely to involve a 'Z' or two and multiple 'double EE' s' e.g. Maisie (nice name) spelled MAYZEE.

I unfortunately spend a lot of time in the Medway Towns and there are parts of Gillingham/Chatham/Rochester/Strood BUT especially Gillingham where you'd think the residents were all on smack. I know the rest of the UK is the same. I know the Daily Mail tries to get us worked up about these benefit dependant baby farms but what's DAve going to do. I'm with the Captain on this one.

banned said...

Love it when Mail readers go mental, I particularly enjoyed plus ticking

"Her mentality is aptly shown by her choice of some of the children's names". Currently @ No.3

Yay !

Clarissa said...

£31,200/year translates to approximately £42,400/year before tax.

That is well above average earnings.

The good news is that her income will drop as her kids get older.

The bad news is that someone else will do exactly the same thing. :-(

SBC said...

On Radio 4 this afternoon Frank Fields dared to suggest that 'children need two parents'. Of course he didn't dare go as far as to mention any gender preference for said dual parental units.

The female Gaurdianista-with-old-english-surname interviewing him almost broke a nail getting her 'correction' of his comments in....'surely didn't mean to suggest one parent families'

Billy the Fish said...

'Y-shaped chav factory'.

Made oi larf!

A Chav by any other name said...

Next up, the new chav names:

Benny Fit, Freebie, Mary Juanna, Rio Terr, Fagash, Andouts, Innit.

Any more gratefully received.

Anonymous said...

ACBAON - re:Andouts and Freebie

Rumour has it that a local fan of TV talent shows had to be dissuaded from calling her daughter 'Idol'.

Bobo said...

"She had the operation at her local Medway Maritime Hospital..."

An institution used to dealing with whales?

Twenty_Rothmans said...

I am perplexed.

Someone was man enough to duff this slag again. And again. And again and again and again (followers of Leg Iron will see what I mean).

We, the taxpayers of England, are too pussy (if you'll pardon the expression) to get to the root (if you'll pardon the expression in Australia) cause of this.

Her genetic expression can be reasonably compared with mixing tomato sauce with ice cream. I am more than happy for her to continue reproducing - as long as it's in a camp, so that I can perform certain experiments on the effluvia dropping from her distended, throbbing womb. They probably have 79 chromosomes,

Moira Pearce is an example of what happens when you feed pigeons. You get more pigeons.

On a more charitable note, most of the studs who rut with this horror pig don't realise what they're doing for biodiversity at the time. I doff my cap to them - it must be like throwing a sausage down a corridor. An ugly, dirty corridor.

selsey.steve said...

Hang about. All this slattern is doing is gaming the existing system.
Change the bloody system!
Give NOTHING for the third child onwards. Not a penny.
Watch the birth rate of Chavettes decline rapidly!

Rob said...

Then again, £31,000 to make the Optimum Population Trust have a collective brain haemohrrage is money well spent.

SBC said...

I've been pondering the names Stabbette Mc Chav gave her kids. It's actual a frightening insight into her mindset:

Kayleigh= probably the most famous slow dance school disco song of all time and she probably lost her virginity that night.

Jamie= That essex chav who likes tossing over stoves.

Tyler= as in 'Bonnie' yet another school disc anthem song and her mom probably sang it all the time. Although the 'holding out for a hero' bit passed her by.

Shania= obviously she did feel like a woman that night and he did impress her.

Blade= ...

I could go on but you get my point.

Maybe someone could start a hit boy band called C.O.N.D.O.M...

Do something for society for a change, Mr Cowell.

Anonymous said...

'I chose not to have any anaesthetic and it was fine - just like having a smear test.'

Need a fucking boat oar to feel anything up there darling, must be like rattling about trying to find the sides...

JuliaM said...

"...the words in my mind are 'Y-shaped chav factory'."

Damnit! Do you know how painful it is to snort Beefeater gin and tonic out of your nose? ;)

"The 19-year-old toyboy was bad enough..."

He must have the self-respect and discernment of a dead boar.

"There's nothing like responsible parenting and this is nothing like responsible parenting."

Spot on!

"Now ...where are those #prolifers?"

Oh, she'd never abort a child! Not when it's a meal ticket...

JuliaM said...

"That is well above average earnings."

It's more than ME!

"Next up, the new chav names:

Benny Fit, Freebie, Mary Juanna, Rio Terr, Fagash, Andouts, Innit."


LOL!

"Moira Pearce is an example of what happens when you feed pigeons. You get more pigeons."

At least you can - in extremist - eat pigeons. This girl and her brood are yet another reason to fear the launch of Soylent Green!

"Blade= ..."

The film, perhaps..?

Angry Exile said...

Do you know how painful it is to snort Beefeater gin and tonic out of your nose? ;)

No, I only know it makes the rest of the drink taste funny no matter how many slices of lemon you put in.

Sorry. :-)

jaded said...

If her ten kids have ten kids each,then those kids have ten kids each as well,then in several generations there will be.....hold on I can work this out....one minute, i'm good at maths...there will be LOADS of them.
We are being out-bred by ugly chavs.
Jaded

The King of Wrong said...

@Jaded: ...but will they all be going to St Ives?

SBC said...

"@Jaded: ...but will they all be going to St Ives?"

It's sad but that had me snorting coffee over the laptop yet again....which has only just dried out from AE's y-shaped comment yesterday.

Jools is lucky, at least gin evaporates. Coffee with sugar in it just dries to sticky.

Anonymous said...

10 children @ 9 months each surely works out at 7.5 years, not 17.