Monday, 19 June 2017

So Just What Are Your 'Institutional Values', Then?

Bosses at Strathclyde University were forced to send a memo to the 400 students and 250 staff asking them to stop with their 'inappropriate' toilet habits.
 Were people taking their mobiles into the loo? God, I hate that and...

Oh.
The memo, posted on Thursday, was sent by the operations management team of the University's Technology and Innovation Centre.It read: 'Given the incidence of people pooing in bins, showers and the likes, can I please remind all TIC occupants that the toilets have been provided for that specific purpose.
'All bodily fluids, solids and toilet paper must be disposed of down the toilet.
'While I appreciate that the TIC population is multi-cultural and different countries have different practices, here in the UK the accepted practice is to use only the WC.'
Naturally, the university let out a screech of alarm at the thought that the sort of people who can't use a First World toilet properly might feel singled out, and came down like a ton of bricks on the poor sod fed up of scrubbing human excrement off the shower tiles.
The university apologised for offence caused by suggesting that ‘multicultural’ practices may be behind the poo problem. Strathclyde University spokeswoman said: ‘We’ve apologised for any offence caused to colleagues.
‘The email contained sentiments completely contrary to our institutional values and should not have been sent. It was recalled as soon as it came to our attention and we swiftly issued an apology to staff.’
That's a great advert for Strathclyde University, isn't it? "Come and be educated here, where if you want to shit on the floor, you can!!"

7 comments:

DJ said...

Hey, just because some guy is baffled by the whole 'toilet' thing doesn't mean he won't make a fabulous brain surgeon.

Meanwhile, in so far as the overpaid eunuchs at Strathclyde Uni are happy with students who are less house-trained than the average puppy, in what sense is this place an educational establishment?

MTG said...

As far back as the fifties, I seem to recall a continence requirement even for prospective Primary School pupils. However I cannot forget an exception called Woody; a boy with a perpetual adherence of excrement which gravity drew down the back of his right leg. This heavier limb served as a source of cross contamination, spreading yesterday's porridge from one seat to another and eventually contaminating the whole damn school. Obviously he would have made it to Strathclyde had he not chosen the career path of police cadet. From what I understand, the work best suited his long experience of shitting on anyone he encountered.

Antisthenes said...

You have posted two articles today highlighting the decaying state of our country. We are being told that those who come to the UK as guests may act in any deplorable and despicable way they desire. Without too much fear of retribution in fact more likely to be apologised to or even feted and protected. If anyone host should name and shame them for acting towards their hosts in a manner that is seen as deplorable, disgusting, rude and irresponsible to anyone who are rational and civilised which clearly many of these guests are not.

Just Trevor said...

Eat Shit - A Million Flies Can't Be Wrong! isn't really doing it for me as a mission statement.

Anonymous said...

The blogs resident nutter can't help himself can he? A post about people shitting in bins and he turns it into yet another dig at the police. So very very sad.
Jaded

James Higham said...

Phew, I can smell it from here.

John M said...

It's ridiculous. I used to work for a large company where this kind of thing was unfortunately quite common. The office engineers were replacing a couple of toilet seats in the buiding each week because "some cultures" stand on the seats when they take a dump and blockages were also common because "some cultures" choose to put so much paper down the bowl.

And you look around the office, staffed with highly intelligent, qualified, degree holding people and ask yourself "what dirty bastard keeps doing this?" and despite the breakages and blockages they don't change - they just keep on doing it.

And worst of all when people complained and asked for an office memoranda to be issued advising people to basically sort thier toilet training out we were told that it couldn't be done because it might cause offence.

So the place always had shitty, broken toilets (and shit in the bins - we had that too) and some poor bastard has to spend his whole working day going around dealing with the mess because "some cultures" refuse to even use a f**king toilet properly.

The world really has gone mad.